₦airaland Forum

MsNas: The OP is so right but also wrong on some aspects. Most Nigerian women do not have ambition, but not all. I know of a few who do have ambition ans many more who don't.

Rollback to my final year in Uni in Nigeria, one of my friends was asking me what I wanted to do when I graduate and I told her "Get a master's degree and hopefully a PhD". She was adamant and kinda annoying that day. She told me "Won't your parents ask you to bring your husband? Won't you get married? Won't you look for a husband? " I calmly told her, my parents encourage us to pursue out ambitions, so no, they won't ask me to be bringing husband of I'm not ready to. What baffled me was that we both studied Physics, a hard sciences major and I knew how hard I struggled to pass my classes and graduate, so why will I throw all the sweat and toil under the bed all on the name of looking for a suitor?

One girl always refers to me as "Prof" whenever she chats me up on Facebook simply because I'm getting an ordinary masters degree. She told me she doesn't understand why I would go back for two more years of graduate school when I could be bearing children in my husband's house

Fast forward, five years now, I'm almost done with my masters degree and hopefully will enroll for a PhD (Undecided) and my college girlfriend? Well, she has a baby and is a full time housewife. I look at her and shake my head, cos it was just a waste of five years in college. I had some friends back then whose sole purpose of coming to the Uni was to get any degree just so they can also refer to themselves as graduates. Smh.

So OP, yeah, some girls/women have no ambition but I and some of my friends do. Most of my girlfriends here are not doing masters but PhD and the ones that are not in school, work really good jobs while also having families. They had a goal and went for it. They pursued their dreams. I am pursuing mine. And yeah, I have a supporting dude.

Please dont forget to add the secretaries, sales agents, front desk officers, bank tellers as career jobs , a country where under employment is the order of the day? can a realistic person just take on this conversation because it is beginning to seem like most people here type from pluto.

What kinda jobs do Nigerian women do that qualify them as the ''career topshots'', big enough to torpedo family values? in politics we see women who have gone beyond the family age before setting out on their political ambition, how old is NOI and how old is her last child, anyone?
how old was Akunyili as a minister and how old was her last child, anyone?

Even in the political circle, how many women are there in? at least i have played around the oil industry long enough to know that women are a miscroscopic few, never mind that a project of 5,000 workers have less than 10 women, so what exactly is there for them to do? the so called career chasers?
If you are not in oil and gas, not in entertainment, soccer and politics, where is the person building the career? I am not in any way undermining any profession but my emphasis is on ''what is that big job that should take the place of family values even the ones i mentioned?''

you went for a masters degree because you had a sponsor right? news flash!! most families like mine will give you the first degree, how you get the rest is your problem, so before you bemoan your friends for not aspiring beyond their first degrees, be pragmatic enough to wear their shoes.

So if you were to be from my family, you should be trekking the streets of Ikeja to transamadi looking for a trainee job with your physics degree, prolly get an under paying 60k job, then save till you have enough for MSc abi? by the time you pay your bills and feed, you may forget you took up the job for an MSc program, now that is the reality for most of your classmates if you dont know, and yes there are trainee physicists i pay less than that as interns who desire a work experience.

Most of the so called jobs our wives abandon their families for are not worth it, that is the reality in Nigeria, perhaps I will give a british opinion like shymmex when I start operating there too

kids just mention these women as their role models but quick to forget their humble beginnings and sacrifices made to keep family and work together.
Alison madueke's last child should be in his late twenties (judging by the pics), when did she join politics? how sure are you she is even a great mum or because we see flamboyant pics of her family cruising in a private jet at the expense of Nigerian tax payers?

You guys dont get it!!

freecocoa: No, you don't turn down a suitor and if we are being totally honest, there are women out there who have actually made a path for themselves and are excelling, so let's not make it look like there's no hope whatsoever.

Even if an ambitious woman doesn't get a job at a company or wherever, whatever happened to being your own boss or even seeking an alternative?Emphasis is on those women who wouldn't bother at all.

freecocoa: No we cannot and you are right on jobs not being available(story for another day)

What the OP is actually talking about is how the young girls(most of them) don't actually care about working, believe me, the number of those who hope on a rich man as a meal ticket is way way higher than those who actually have a dream, went to school, tried, couldn't get a job and then decided to settle for a man.

majekdom2: who does the market business in those days ..... my dad is a seasoned chatered accountant with over 47 years experience. He told me his mum supported his education financially .....it has been there .

sheniqua: I was torn between thinking the poster was a student or a spinster with no suitors in sight
I chose the latter but you could be right
We have had threads here where men talk about how women have to put up with SE,xual harassment at work in Nigeria especially those in banks and some men would prefer to have their wives at home rather than turning tricks with their bosses and clients to get ahead at work.
Reality never hit am
There are women frying and selling akara and making moi moi and chin chin even here in the USA to make ends meet and someone is talking of fantasies in the air that don't exist.
Nobody is sitting around waiting for a rich men
Where are rich men Nwa nu?
How many are they?

majekdom2: do you want liability ? what class do majority of Nigerians belong ? .... below average I guess.

You can only speak for yourself and family right?

Let me ask you? why cant your wife build a career in your house? what is wrong in that? we ask the women to drop the already made men mentality while in marriage, struggling men want already made women, did i hear you echo double standard?
if your wife as a graduate cannot work for you, or your friends or herself, why does she need to work for someone else?
oh! sorry, i forgot you married her already a supervisor

GodMode: Your job is to improve your income that's not the job of your bank.

My point is: Anything can happen...

majekdom2: bros ,forget that talk .... the fact that you had it hard doesnt mean it not easy for others.the men looking for liabilities are usually the ones these ladies complain cheat on them ....and thats why they cant have a say because they were neveer part of his life. your husband cant make you a chairlady from a tailor or farmer life if he hasnt seen that you got a potential or have you not heard of people that frustrate efforts..... the bottom line is what are you bringing to the table ... No one is saying you should become a lawyer or doctor by all means.

GodMode: Yes, her making her own money cos if u die before your time hard times will hit the family.

Imagine your line of thought, so how many kids will you have? lemme guess, 15, because boko haram is now killing in tens? why dont you have 25 in case 18 dies?
why do you want to enter a vehicle? dont you know it crashes and people will die? It is only in finance that you need a contingency plan in case the man dies, do you want to kill your husband?
the guy you quoted just told you the mind of most real men, all those ''I want working class ladies'' are husslers looking for who will split their responsibilities with them. guys who their wives contribute NEPA bill.

dancok: I agree with ur point to be single career lady in nigeria is not easy,many men will run frm u just because u earn money and d career the reason is because many of this single career ladies has spoil their v point before they earn that post,their have been used by this higher profile boss,so I think that is d reason why most men reject single career lady and go after low lifer lady in most cases.

safarigirl: If you're one who has stayed within the female hostel of any Nigerian University, you'll find that most of it's occupants share similar hopes and dreams- and no, it's not to excel in their chosen career paths.

One of the lecturers in my school aptly described women as 'a waste of education'...no, it wasn't an insult, it was just stating the obvious. You find a woman who has hustled through primary, secondary and University education. One who looked set to be a force to reckon with in the world of business or law or medicine, I mean a female with straight A's and you think Nigerian women may be getting things right, only to follow her back to her hostel and hear these heart-breaking words:

"Omo, after school na to find husband marry remain."

In the real sense of the word this is translated to:

"After school, I'll fling my degee inside one iron box in my dad's storeroom, find a perfect mugu that will put a ring on my finger, buy me a car, set up a boutique/beauty saloon for me and all I have to do to get this is spread my legs for him and push out little people with his DNA"

Nigerian women view marriage the same way hustling Nigerian men view the US Green Card- an avenue to escape life's troubles. So in the same way you find 23 year old Nigerian men marrying 56 year old American women, you find young, promising women relegated to some man's priority list.

I don't think most Nigerian women realise that nobody wants to get attached to a leech. If you allow some Nigerian women, they would even want their husbands to carry the babies and birth them as well. And when you ask why they don't want to build wealth with a man, you hear:

"I've already suffered in my father's house. I don't want to continue suffering in my husband's house"

Now unless you're getting married to a no-good leech like yourself, there is no reason why building wealth with a man should be termed 'suffering'

Even on Sun Newspaper's 'Beauty Of The Week' it's the same thing.

Future Ambition: Getting Married And Having Kids

If you think God put you on this earth to make a liability of yourself, you need to think again. There is more to life than being someone's baby mama. There is a purpose for getting an education that lies beyond being able to speak good english whenever you and your man attend social functions

Nigerian women need to sit down and re-evaluate their lives. God sent you to assist a man, not to add to his problems. Men appreciate women who can think for themselves, who want to contribute to the family (and I don't mean churning out kids). There is nothing more endearing than a smart woman who views men as companions rather than money bags.


Don't waste the education your parents worked so hard to provide for you. Break the stereotype, Nigerian women should be more than gold-digging leeches. If the likes of Oby Ezekwesili, Joke Silva, NOI can be successful career women as well as wives and mothers, then we all need to dust up our certificates and CVs and have proper future ambitions.


God Bless You...and don't take this the wrong way

Tonyet1: MAKE UNA LEAVE AM ALONE NA! CHEI NA WA O, EVERYBODY NA PST.CHRIS ! PST CHRIS,

THE MAN SEF NO DE EVEN ANSWER UNA BACK, PLS BE CAREFUL,

what about the blind man in the bible, even Jesus himself prayed for the man, rub mud for him eyes, yet the man no see well the 1st time, then Jesus spit for mud the 2nd time come tell am to go wash him face for water b4 him begin see, wetin una go talk about that one, again dem even call Jesus , Belzebub meaning PRINCE OF DEMONS yet the innocent man jus coninue dey do him own thing

i am not his member o, and i can never be his member, but plsssss let him be

bible said on the last day, every man work will be revealed for judgement, including Pst chris, Bishop oyedepo, pst Adeboye and every good, great and mighty men of God

WARNING: @poster, my advice is do not depend on any pastor as a mentor, father, and bla bla bla, bible said :-"LOOK UNTO JESUS, . ."not pastor so & so

You really want to wait for the last day?

SirJohn: Hi Bobokanis,
Your reply to my story is no surprise at all. you have not only responded like a typical CE member but you have failed to react to the main issue. I'm glad you mentioned in your reply that I'm right to some extent, you also did not refute the wheelchair and stretcher scam so I guess you accept that I am right. My intention by the time I'm through with this topic is to reveal the whole truth.
How do you explain the fact that someone well able to stand and walk is placed in a wheelchair or stretcher some of which does not even belong to them; and then the 'man of God' is made to look like an anointed faith healer which he is not by getting them to stand on their feet and walk. What has my feelings got to do with this, please tell me.

No matter what the intention might be, the bottom line still remains that millions of people watching these phoney miracles end up thinking that these people were either crippled or bedridden which is completely false. I don't know if you visited the link I attached to my earlier post; I was with those folks for two weeks and I even spoke with one of the three. some of the reports about them are either completely false or exaggerated.

Speaking about your friends daughter, I do not deny the fact that people may experience changes in their physical conditions during or after visiting the healing school; it is probably the same reasons for which people get 'healed' after visiting the shrine of 'Our lady of Lourdes' in france. I intend to discuss healings in my next post, I'm sure it will clear up some things here.
Stay tuned!!!

5thNOTE: u see why we need only southerners and Majorly christians to fly our Jet? This is the reason why the U.S. Wants only christians in their airforce. Only in christianity today in the whole world (apart frm catholic or the extremism of Pope Francis) and religions, remains safty of human fundamental rights and a sane definition of conscience. Imagine what Osama bin laden did with ordinary transport jet and what a muslim or an athiest(both of same heart in evil) would do with a military plane armed with a nuke. U can tell me that countries like pakistan, a muslim country have nukes, yes, but pakistan has that becus they were needed to curb India of their romance with Russian & it nuke weapon. And india is a russian ally, so arming them will reduce any threat frm any russian and its ally such as india with heavy nukes. Even the Ukriane case, all accuse against Russia is false, the same U.S. which rushed to destory all ukrianian nukes which was almost half of soviet nukes, are already arming ukrian and talking of resurfacing their- ukrians nukes. It seems russia is leading again in some new nukes capability, wether launching, speed, and trajectory, and U.S. has gone anti missile even having projects in space and so is using media to supress russia and [b]wants Ukirian as EU member in order to curtail russia. [/b]And 4 ur info this is too dangerous 4 world politics. Once the imperiliast and commanders get every region in obdience, we will have little to say. The jet that is missing cannot land in anyhow place, so they knw where they have directed it to. Either to hidden location with an airstrip or a country in coniviance with nigeria corrupt politics.

tyty24: Sahara reporters saying its the only jet?! They must be smoking expired weed na dem go audit the airforce equipment.It is known that 24 alpha jets were bought not sure of the numbers remaining. But about 10 to 13 went trought PDM in the past few months. So much for investigative jounalism and people just got itchy fingers.

windows4banking: The pilots are very loyal and gallant officers who always asked for your prayers. In one of their words, "it ain't easy out here. it's crazy." We need to challenge the corruption in Nigeria or we will all be dead. it has eaten into the fabric of this society. Gallant and brave officers who aren't looting in DHQ Abuja are dying in the North East. It is not fair. We must not be quiet.

Reference: So which wars have we organised for the Nigerian Army since the 67 civil war to make them combat sharp. The Army has spent the last 50 but 15 years in politics. That is 50 years of dis-investment and decay. Some didn't even want the military to have guns now we want them to go from cold start to full tilt in a heart beat. Pally it won't happen. Give them credit for what they offer. They are the only ones standing between you and a certain refugee status.

Austema: Hi, nairalanders, am d newest member of dis golden site, am Austine, a student of fed.poly.idah, kogi state

We have enough m0r0ns already please save the list just kidding

mcocolok: Please i really need your Help Nairalanders.....


I have been with this Girl like FOUR years... The first three Months of our relationship was sweet and cool until i noticed changes in her attitude.. The Tape worm(EX) crept in. I have been there for this girl.. Loved her and cherished her... I took pains for her just because i truly LOVE her...I took her to see my people so she could understand i truly want the best for us...

I met her when she was really struggling to gain admission into the University and we worked out the MATHS together just to see her through...Immediately she gain the admission, she changed.. She tells me its OVER at every little problem we had and all i do is CRY because i really do LOVE her and cherish HER so much... I give her everything she needs and i spend time thinking on how to make her HAPPY ALWAYS just because i cared about her....

The real problem began when she traveled Home after her first year. On a cool evening two weeks after she got home, she uploaded pictures on her Facebook between she and her EX...I called her and she never picked up the call.. I left her messages so she could explain to me what happened and she never replied. I tried calling that Night and she never picked up until 1am and her reply was " WETIN SELF, I NO FIT SNAP PICTURES WITH SOMEBODY AGAIN,I TELL YOU SAY MY EX DEY STAY MY AREA..I DEY WAKA I COME SEE AM ,HE SAY MAKE I SNAP WITH AM SO I COME SNAP WITH AM" I was heartbroken by the response but i had to be strong.. She later called and told me she was no Longer interested in the RELATIONSHIP and that she LOVES her EX... I tried explaining to her that i was there for her and i love her so much and i really want 2 be with her. I explained 2 her that i so much love her and this can KILL me so soon and she insisted i should stop calling her... I was furious all through the night...Then she later called me crying. I asked why she was crying and she said she had hurt me so much and i was too good to her. She said she never deserved me and that she had things 2 tell me... She later Opened up that she lied about her EX and that she slept with HIM.. I was Heartbroken again and wept. She said she never intended to do it and she felt guilty about everything.. I said i still Love you and still don't care about the Mistake you made and we can move on and i will still LOVE u.. She later said she slept with her REV father. I was speechless on hearing that and asked how she got involved with him. I also asked if she slept with HIM when we started dating or before and she said after we started dating and she slept with him three times.....My reply was "I was there to make you happy,gave you the best sex,showed you LOVE and cared for you all through for good 3 years and all you had 2 do is sleep with your EX on seeing him once and also sleep with your REV father" I love her so much and just couldn't stand 2 see her cry so i forgave her...

I made her strong and also forget about the silly shit with the HOLY MAN OF GOD....She called me two months after the whole drama and said she had something 2 tell me,she said "I still Love my EX and i want to back 2 him" I was MAD again and said why don't you want 2 leave your EX and let it be? Why do you always make me wanna cry... I later TOLD her i am no longer interested in the relationship and want i wish her luck with MR EX...I hanged up and switched off. She left me messages on Facebook saying she was sorry and wanted 2 see if i still LOVE her...I forgave her and we still Moved on. Now we have been together for four years. I had a chilled bottle of RED wine last night and decided to think about all she had done and also made up my MIND to call it QUIT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH that i was ready to die for her but she doesn't even appreciate everything .

I really need your help nairalanders if this is gonna be the right thing 2 do.. I need your advice before i take actions....

Tanx and One Love....

poor soul

omigyman: the $58 mil being requested for is nt equivalent to d billions of dollars they will get while dispersing thr already made vaccines it all a House of Cards For d US govt

I saw the business initiative there, the projection for Ebola infection for this outbreak is 20,000 people, A drug will only be sold to such individuals while a vaccine will be sold to nearly half the population of the world.
$25m for Zmapp, $58m for vaccine makes a lot of economic sense. However, this is a crisis on our soil, why are we not taking the initiative to lick from our tragedy?
All we are good for is NMA and JOHESU, silly health workers, look at a huge opportunity to make good money.

God bless the Americans!!

cramjones: Whilst the White house make frantic efforts to curb the Ebola outbreak, Africans are waiting for white masters to rescue them. When will Nigeria and other countries become a country and stop begging? When would President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan take responsibility for the country he leads? When will the lies about Boko Haram stop? When will we ever be a continent? What is the use of the African Union, when they can't even build their headquarters. Africa is screwed and doomed!

-CramJones

Emmafrancis: i dont usually say this , but am sorry you are so silly.
You should be grateful for Effiong for bringing that bitter, ill planed and excuted war to an end. To me he is one of the few heros of that senseless war.

playboy19: Well Crimea situation as far as i understand is another game all together. It's a political/diplomatic tussle between US (in the guise of a la UN) and Russia on who controls Crimea/Ukraine by proxy. I'll be very afraid if my enemy who lives in Ikoyi controls the Okada riders association in my area in Magodo and i'll fight tooth and nail to stop that. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone.

PS: Don't forget Crimea possesses a huge amount of natural gas

playboy19: Sir, as much as i detest terror attacks and sponsorship but i believe it is right for us all to have a better understanding of things happening around us. I believe we should not point accusing fingers on the Arabs alone, i think all oil producing countries including Nigeria are suspects of terror sponsorship. It is how the Oil business works. I am in the industry so i know what i'm saying.

Take for example, if you sell a sachet of pure water for N5 in the raining season and during the dry season, you move your product to the same market and sell it for N100 each, how would you honestly feel? How do you think the whole pure water manufacturers at the time would feel? Your answer is as good as mine. Now how would you feel if you get a news that, there is a way you could invest some few bucks into weather researches and keep the dryness for a longer or say permanent term? Would you invest or not?

That my friend, is the business of oil. All oil investors understand this, as a matter of fact, they make forecasts on this. Which country might get hit next in order to create short supply in the market, for others to hike their prices. Islam fanaticism unfortunately is the avenue they found to disrupt the market. You should ask yourself why terror attacks are only synonymous to oil producing countries? There lies your answer. So with this discovery, any oil producing country can sponsor disruption and terrorism depending on how weak the targeted country is.

Take this from me, America will be the biggest terror sponsor of the next decade as they just became the biggest oil exporter in the world. Nobody want oil prices to come down to $20 when its their turn to dominate the market, period!

Some sense in what you said, just a quick one, how much oil is produced from Crimea in Ukraine, anyone

MyIncorp: First came the Chinese, then the Turks and then the Indians. More and more foreign investors are recognising the potential in Africa's emerging economy.

Ogbon400: Attn: Nigerian Military Officials



According to a Russian source, Western intelligence services have established a "hit list" of patriotic Nigerian military officials , who will be targeted for assassination in the next days and weeks. The aim of this projected assassination campaign is to deprive the Nigerian military of its ability to defeat Boko-Haram without any recourse to western “assistance”.

Patriotic Nigerian military officials are therefore urged to be extremely cautious with their security arrangements, as Western intelligence services use “targeted assignation” as a very effective tool against civilian and military officials of countries that they are destabilizing. The individuals who are targeted are generally those who who refuse to be bribed.

According to this source, the Boko-Haram death squads are expected to carry out “targeted killings" in parallel with their attacks of military installations

Chaleeee: First of all, a gunshot to the thigh isn't a minor injury

And come to think of it. All those who are shouting that they love this country more than life itself, where are their kids fighting to protect the unity of Nigeria.
Buhari
Abdulsalami
Atiku
Babangida
Etc

allycat: The wife had nothing to do with the corpse in UPTH mortuary, the body was evacuated from the hospital he died by men from the ministry of healt h(in full PPE) and for some reason instead of disposing of it put it in a mortuary. It was even the wife that alerted authorities that her husband may have ebola.