₦airaland Forum

Do u feel like eating a brain when u stare at somebody's head? Maybe ya a zombie.

Me: I like the way u BUTTress ur points

NA to get red eye instantly, dey ask whether them mark the workings or na just final answer. Dat moment when everybody got 87 and u got 2.5

D guy look like kanye west for him dp o which means most gurls on nairaland will be tripping for him until he opens his mouth.

D guy has always looked suicidal since o we no just observe ni.

Nonsense! She is checking his back pocket for his wallet, how fat is it, will he be able to pay for the shoot and they can still branch shopleft on d way home. We all know its guys dat does ass grabbing most.

Turkeminstan embassy: tell us what u want to do in our country.
Me: sir it is not because of your fuel sir, I am a professional, I know my job.

Na how u dey make job easy for robbers and hard for the police be dis, wen u come here come announce say u don get alert, oya put ur address for here.

N.b kalokalo gbe nkan mi senu wuye. Why can't u be like kalokalo dat swallow big money and does his mouth wuyewuye like our politicians. SARAKI and dansuki.

But wit all these paintings, shey both of them get job sha?

HERSLEY:
Can't wait to av mine... Wanna be a single mum. No time for drama. Who go gimme belle?

What will u tell ur baby when he or she grows up and start asking for his dad? Or other mum if u are a Les....
Dat he/she fell from the sky or an apple tree abi

Love is not a feeling, its a choice so why is dis cry baby disturbing everybody.

Forever young, I wanna be forever young........................ Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever.

Sometime ago, d military don't need to be widespread b4 dey take over d government, then they just needed to be placed at strategic locations. But today put them everywhere even boundaries of every state, all they do iS dansuki the people's money.

Lol they even pleaded not guilty, shey dem no know say dey don enter am, the court appearance na just formality na. Make them buy their cutlass, file am well cos na to dey cut grass from prison to the government house and back to prison for the next 10 years

No need to confirm if he said it or not, he must have did! Kachikwu knows how to perfectly say the wrongest thing at the right time. well I am more of a londoner too than a yoruba because my heart has been at Stamford bridge since I started supporting Chelsea. Mtcheew katikati, hope my papa doesn't see dis o, cos he will ask me if its Chelsea that have been paying my school fee and buying fuel for thE Gen.

Buhari still doesn't know how callous human beings can be abi, imagine how dat aregbesola puts everybody in hunger mode by blowing money on things dat won't generate revenue, now jungle don mature for osun workers. Just like buhari still believed that abacha no steal money. I laughter

They wan discuss how to get their own share oF jeep which will be better than the ones NASS got

ZeeAfrica:
hehehhehe nope. I no dey vex ooo. M just trying to open yola eyes

okies, u heard dat gentlemen! Dis aunty is an eye opener

ohhh op come on! Me and Chris brown still have hope of looking alike than this too.
Heard nacho's got sheep lip

So when he dey ask u out, u close ur eyes abi? Things from shoprite and konga are hard to say no to. Some babe will just talk like the guy use charm woo her ni. Iranu

ZeeAfrica:
Op i bet u wud never marry a widow or divorcee right? Fyi did u knw dat there r surgeries, excersices and food, which can actualy close de hole as if someone is a virgin? Did u knw dat wen girls eat clean and gym, dey will still look hot even in dat 10 years? So open yo eyes my dear, u might marry someone who u think is a virgin, just becoz she did de above, n u wil b fooled forever. Wat u r saying is de same as girls wanting rich guys, wat happened to ppl loving de other person just for who they r, n not wat dey can get frm dem? Anyway keep to yo prinscipals oo, bt dnt say i did nt warn u, wen u marry a ''virgin'' who has slept wit more dan 20 ppl, bt did gud tricks so dat u can think she has never been touched before, only for u to b suprised wen yo long lost cousin meets yo new family den mentions dat he and yo Mrs once had something going on. Marry a girl for de heart my sweet, coz even de so called virgin can stil turn out to be a liability

Lol gentlemen I can assure u; dis aunty don vex.

Yawnssss! Dis post doesn't worth me staying awake to read, can someone call me and read it into my ears? Nawa for u @op I sha grab gurls don't let guys chop u finish and something about ur skin getting worn out like its aba made.

carolynrichards:
who the big ass epp oya#nawoesoke

Lol I can imagine ur size.

@op ehm look at it this way, when phones started getting better and badder what happened to their sizes?
Yeah dats right!

How many times dey wan catch dat guy in d second pic? Na only him dey sambissa abi?

Or the snake go scream yheeeeei and jump out thru d window if him see wetin u wan put on top am

CaroLyner:
i will play with it.
The first human instinct would be to run.Durhh

In ramonu's voice; ehn en so u no be human abi?

Na people like her go just black out, when she wake up she go hear d story of how she collapse on d WC and broke it.

I'll wAke up from my dream.

SirDavico:
*singing* Left right! Eba egusi Left right.... Left right! Left right... Ikebe nor dey heavy d owner Left right... Ikebe nor dey heavy d owner

No matter d size Whether big or small Whether large or medium.
give this man 2 bottles of spirit

layla129:
Yes, we lie too. The men are not guilty of this alone.

1. Lend me some money. I promise to pay back.
What you don't know is that a woman you're intimate with, will never repay a loan. Hasn't she been taking care of your "NEEDS"diligently? Hasn't she been giving you full VIP access to her heaven for free? Hasn't she withstood your morning breath for months? You're ungrateful!

2. I'm stranded. Please, send me little cash.
Well, this might be a genuine call for help. Other times however, they are probably just fine and looking for easy cash. That Michael Kors handbag won't buy itself.

3. I'm pregnant. We can't keep it, we are not ready.
In your early twenties, you can't risk having a baby mama. Lord knows your job is barely enough to sustain you. The girl knows that. She preys on your worst fears.

4. I just saw a very nice dress, i have paid half for it but i don't have the other half.
Baby, i just saw this little black dress, its so cute and i can't wait to wear it for you but i don't have enough cash. Its only 20k, can you help me raise the rest?
You send her 10k. It is actually, the real cost of the dress.

5. I wish i had that. If only i have the money.
She plays an emotional card making you think you're not doing enough for her. If only i had money on me! the MAC lipstick would look good on me! I need to get money for real! I'll figure out something.
You're scared she might get a sponsor, then you hand her a wand of notes...problem solved!


Feel free to add yours

1. ok honey, lemme where my cloth and we will go to bank, use ur dad's land to obtain loan.
2. Baby walk home, u need d exercise, u've started looking round due to fat in d waist region.
3. Let's keep d baby, my grandma in D village will be happy to have u stay with her for 9 months and help raise d baby too.
4. Tell them to cut the half u paid for, when u get d other 10k u can go for the other half or bring d money we gats fuel Gen, champions league don dey sWeet to d end.
5. I wish am dating rihanna if only....... Well am content with u honey.
Lmao all these tins only work when Jonathan and pdp were in power.

Anoda teabliz, I think u need a celebrity gurlfriend.
Diagnostic question: does a chicken chase u wen u step out of your house in the morni?
If yes, no hope bro.

Nicolars:
Her hersley, jtwest and co... Dnt come and derail diz thread
Will report u if u try it again

sowie sir.