₦airaland Forum

How do I get to chat with Ifyalways?

Ifyalways, is there a sector for private chat on NL?

@truly opal,

You stated your belief that no man can love a woman forever.

Would that be the mindset for the present predicament? I'm just wondering.

Whome:
@JUSTGOOD I am glad you were a fly on the wall in my marriages and you were able to see what went on in MY home. I still stand by what I said in that I was a good wife and I am a good mother. If it was me with the problem then why did my first husband beg me to stay and even till this day 5 years after I left would he still take me back? And I promise you those were his words. My second husband is in the same shoes but I do not believe his intentions are for truth so I wont even begin to count him in that.

I have always looked at myself. If I did not how could I come on this board and say somthing unfair, realize it, and apologize for it. I am not above reproach but again I say to you, if you dont know what your talking about please shut up, for you again are basing your comments on YOUR feelings and not facts.

You are a good wife yet every man that comes into your life somehow becomes a devil. What an irony of sorts!

The fact that your ex husbands want to come back into your life does not mean the situations will not repeat themselves. You need to shut up and hide yourself somewhere if you want to have any life. Once beaten, twice shy is a popular saying. Twice/thrice beaten is nothing other than a failure or a devil in disguise.

Many men always try to get back to their exes for obvious reasons. The fact that men dont speak out openly about things does not make them the bad one everytime. A daft woman who turns a decent man to a devil needs to examine what she's doing to turn decent people into devils; not come and blab online.

kokoA:
"messed up" com'on we are Africans, this guy deserves a chieftency title. Final!

excuse me?

Nezan:
oga, u no see say na MPCE no be UME?

Oh I see. That's a good enough reason for such blunders?

they can be very unimaginative.

The production is so poor you always think there's a locomotive engine running in the background.

very disappointing

Fhemmmy:
He will stop boasting when they after his ass for child support

You think he cares about that?

He probably has no job and no earnings. . . so where do you claim the child support from?

Was Buhari not trying to polarise Nigeria along religious lines?

perhaps it will be good for him to become president and then the moslems and christians can go their seperate ways.

We are a shameless people. How can this dog have the guts to open his mouth and speak to media media with so much audacity? He even lied!

The idiot should have been stoned while being interviewed

Did you guys really write the University Matriculation Examinations?

Have you not invited Crackles to come and share the apartment with you?

Perhaps I am naive but I dont believe there is not more to this story than is being tabled here.

pardon my pessimism.

The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

I bet they wont think about budgeting for the maintenance.

In 1 year, the toilets will have turned into eye sores.

We listened to the news after Bible study and it was funny how BBC chose to emphasise that a Russian-built aircraft. I never heard crash news with so much emphasis before. gosh

What did the impostor stand to gain from reporting a car stolen? Am I missing something?

Whome:
@ Just good you are obviously trying to support your sisters. Good, I wish we as African Americans supported each other more. However please do not try to insult me. You will get no where. I love to debate and going back and forth is fine with me as long as you dint try to insult me or my intelligence. I was stating a fact. To call someone insane and throw salt in their face after they have already done it themselves is something that was uncalled for. I apologized to the young lady for the comment I made regarding her and abortion but I see that everyone here is above even GOD. Not here on the boards but here in this thread. I have met many wonderful people on this board and have many wonderful Nigerian friends. I do not have anything against anyone except those who persist on treating others with prejudice and disdain. Some posters posted positive suggestions and thoughts however some were obviously only offering spit to this woman's wound. Why is it that no one can say anything about that but can try and gang up on the non Nigerians. If I had posted as a Nigerian I am sure I would have some backing me up, but because you see I am not you think you must "prove me wrong" because I have chosen to stand up in my beliefs to one of your countrymen. It is a shame that you are the ones in this thread that are proving to be closed minded and "daft"

I am not trying to defend my sisters. I am speaking what I believe is truth and if you find that too bitter to swallow, TOUGH!

It does not matter whether you posted as a Nigerian or not. Anyone can actually post and pretend to be anything they want to be so I dont care about what nationality you post as.

I am glad you consider me closed minded. I'd rather be closed minded than open my mind to accept that a lady who constantly marries and the men turn to devils overnight is not doing anything wrong. The fact that a woman constantly makes men become devils means that she is to be avoided like a plague. Rather than look inside herself and try changing whatever it is that makes every man become a devil once they get involved with her, she is pointing fingers and blaming all the men for her woes. Dont you think the fact that you are unable to fathom why every man you marry becomes a devil means that you are DAFT?

I dont think I've ever come across a flattering photograph of Mr. president

There is surely a lot of business going on there. there is also a lot of fraud  and scams being perpetrated by Nigerians there.
Its the same wherever Nigerians go. Are we not really ashamed of ourselves?

arula:
Give me advice? i was attacked from the start when in fact the deeds had been sown and obviously i am not a baby making machine the second eldest is 13 this year, so it has been a long time!!!!!!! the advice i was looking for was in understanding his culture and opinions for his MADNESS, if i did not have to defend myself constantly, maybe we would of got somewhere, i just do not care, he is going to nigeria maybe his father can teach him ( again ) how to be a man! or beat some sense into him, let the issue rest forget it next time i want advice i will not come here again simple, Thankyou WHOME BUT WE MUST REALISE WHEN WE ARE FIGHTING AGAINST THE GRAIN AND THEY JUSSSST DO NOT GET IT, LEAVE THEM TO IT, I HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY AND MY CHLDREN AND MY HEALING TO GET ON WITH, LEAVE THEM TO TALK AT THEIR WILL, AND CONTINUE TO ELEVATE ONES SELF. PEACE SISTER

Isn't it clear who exactly the mad would have been in the relationship based on what you have posted here so far?

arula:
how many nigerian women out there who are divorced, how many of you are still waiting? how many of you are over thirty?
i am not in pain just trying to gain a different understanding from people i do not know, yet we all make choices and learn but who on this discussion can hold their head up high and claim never to have made choices on what they were feeling in a past tense, or can say that they will never make bad choices in the future? or all of you holier than thou remember what jesus said if you spite or judge your brother with your right eye be sure you will be condemed with your left or something like that

How many fingers can you point? Go and sort your life out jare.

debosky:
I don't understand this story.

You had problems with him from 'VERY EARLY' yet you chose to continue? Please don't give me the 'like most women' line, it is STALE.

You were not some 20 year old novice who was naive and didn't know of the hardships in life. You had TWO children you needed to support and it sounds like this man was NEVER interested in having a family in the first place. . . why are you surprised things ended this way?

You say your man was an 'anomaly', did not communicate and not consistent yet you went ahead and continued with him??

Honestly, I think you might just be attracted to lost causes. From your post, there was NEVER ANY HOPE for this relationship, and you need to take responsibility for that because the signs were GLARING.

Sorry you have had to feel all this pain, but you have no one to blame but yourself. Yes a man is needed to have babies, but with the experience of taking care of TWO already, you know what happens when the man decides to take off. You really do need to focus on taking care of your children and leave men out of it for now.

From your story, it seems you might even be older than the guy, not that it's wrong, but your higher level of maturity should've shown you he was never going to be ready.

Thank you

No in fact you are in worse shoes becuase of your the high pony you have put yourself on. It is people that can "never do something" that end up doing it 3 times over. I'd like to know your secret to being perfect becuase the whole world needs it.

perhaps she's just not daft. Not necessarily that she is perfect.

because like most women i wanted the relationship to work so i did not give up, and please do not give me some moral talk, i have seen my ex-husbanmd uncles cheat and abuse their nigerian wives and have children out of wedlock and sex before marriage all nigerian and so on and smile to the public do not go there. :-x i have seen the most negative comments about jamaican women blah blah blah i have to laugh when i believe nigerians and jamaicans have more in common then each other will realise or willing to admit, how sad that my children of dual nationality will be exposed to small mided individuals like yourselves in life but i pray that those experiences will enable character building of a positive kind, and they will pity people like you and show you compassion when it is obvious some of you need it most, goodbye people smile and enjoy life as it too short to harbour such close minded opinions it will only turn you into a magical sheep!

Rather than accept the fact that you have been daft, you resort to attacking people who speak the bitter truth.

You deserve pity in your inability to make sound judgement and your inability to see accept responsibility for your stupidity.

Never mind, another man will soon be around the corner and you can have the next 2 kids for him

INSANITY? WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING? LADY YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, AS I SAID BEFORE IF YOU READ MY POST I WAS CLEARLY LOOKING FOR POSITIVE WORDS AND ADVICE, IN APPROACHING THIS SCENARIO, AS FAR AS I CAN READ, SO PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT GOING BE OPEN MINDED DO NOT BOTHER AS FURTHER TO MY PREVIOUS RESPONSE I DO HAVE A SUCESSFUL CAREER AND THRIVING BUSINESS. MAY I SUGGEST YOU EXPAND YOUR MIND A LITTLE, I DO NOT BRING MY PREVIOUS TWO CHILDREN WITHOUT SUPPORT, MY EX-HUSBAND IS BRILLIANT AND IS VERY SUPPORTIVE AND AN EXCELLENT FRIEND. SORRY FOR BEING RUDE BUT I CANNOT STAND SMALL MINDED INDIVIDUALS WHO CLEARLY CANNOT READ BETWEEN THE LINES, WHO ARE RUDE IN THEIR RESPONSES WITHOUT REALISING, I THINK THAT IS CALLED HAVING NO TACT

How then is he your EX?

that was very rude as i do not go out and make babies because it is fun, for you info i am a qualified gas/ engineer and plumber with 11 years experience with a psychology major, i was married before to a nigerian who i have two lovely children with, also i am studying law and run a business plumbing venture and an inventor PLUS THIS IS THE FIRST MAN I HAVE DATED IN 11 YEARS KEEP YOUR BUSH MENTALITY TO YOURSELF and what were you suggesting a termination perhaps? i believe in a higher power so the idea of murder is not within my realm i see you trust in god then spread his word more sufficently and GET OFF MY POST WITH YOUR NEGATIVITY

This makes it easier to understand some of the reasons the man might have been the way he is. Which man in his right senses wants a tiger who would devour him?