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epi:
Goodbye
by hazeleyez

I can't say that I never loved you,
That would be a lie,
But can't you see I'm no good for you?
When all I do is make you cry.

This is the last you'll hear from me,
I'm moving outta town,
He said he wants to marry me,
I can no longer have you around.

Goodbye,

And they said guys were players.
Nice poem all the same. . .

wildbubble:
The goat thought again beginning to shiver because he knew he was going to find no more reason, that was all he knew about the matter. Politics in the suburbs was only for the lions, he heard very little of it, the goats were not interested in complicated matters, and politics was complicated. Yet he pretended to think, and the lion hummed tunelessly as he waited.

Bet the goat got his backside eaten!

bluespice:

U'r crazy Blue!

Read it somewhere last year, the jokes section I think.

Anyway, to our software-confused friend, the biggest mistake you made was installing Wife 1.0 without partitioning your "hard-drive" first; that way, you can install Wife 1.0 [/i]on one part of the drive, and still have your good old [i]Player 9.1 [/i]operating system running on the other part.    But don't lose hope yet, let the Master Player will clue ya some _{(I helped write the code for [i]Suave Smooth Operator ++} series B.T.W):


Solution 1: This option is best to handle Wife 1.0, but it's VERY expensive. So if u can't afford it, dont even bother to try it.
Buy an external (secondary) hard-drive; make sure its as far away from your old hard-drive as possible _{(the other end of the country is best)}. Next, use a trusted friend's system to upload a Lucrative Business Opportunity [/i]firewall to it. Then connect it to your old system and run all your favorite programs there - [i]Boy's Nightout 2.5, Chop-n-Clean-Mouth 99.9. Wife 1.0 can't corrupt the external drive because the firewall is highly compatible with Shopping 250x and Jewelry 3000. But YOU MUST INSTALL THE FIREWALL FIRST BEFORE CONNECTING TO THE YOUR SYSTEM; otherwise Wife 1.0 will smell a rat immediately and install itself there too. 

Solution 2: If you can't afford an external memory, then you'll have to use a cheaper but more stressful alternative.
Buy SEVERAL "Mano Infinito" applications (eg: Suffering-n-Smiling 2.0, Gentle-to-the-Core 88, Need-Some-Time-Alone 33.3z, Deeply-Hurt 7000, etc) and run them as many times as possible on system. These small but powerful softwares have the ability to run even on Wife 3.0+ and Wife Till Infinity [/i]platforms, and better still, they have a way of partitioning away some memory space on the hard-drive without [i]Wife noticing. Once this happens (you'll know because Basketball 7.5 will suddenly be allowed to run) you can run quick versions of your favorite applications (OneNight Stand Bleep, etc). But you mustn't do this often or Wife will get suspicious - and trust me, you don't want that happening!

Blue, u and blood sef. . . talk about a vampire. Here, let me wax poetic:

You just love the sight and smell of blood, the slick-slippery feel of it on your canines, and the coppery, honey-tinged taste of it on your lips, as you suck and swallow it down, gulp after bloody gulp.

You revel in the chase of your victim - him, a full-blooded, yet defenseless black-skinned Adonis; you, an ethereal phantom of the night, beautiful and breath-taking to behold, yet terrible and more evil than Hades' harbinger. You watch him darting this way and that, knowing his demise is at hand, yet trying forlornly to escape it. You enjoy his terror, watching gleefully as his poor brave heart beats against his ribs; you breathe comes quicker as your ethereal eyes watch the blood pulsing rapidly through his taut veins; you drink his fear like a faucet; your pupils dilate, your canines lengthen, and your loins grow warm as thoughts of the imminent kill rush through your mind.

And then you strike!

Gripping the black Adonis in a vice-like tender embrace, you sink your fangs into his neck, and feel the red fluid flow. Your victim's resistance diminishes slowly, and you feel his heart fluttering. You hug him harder, arching your spine as the ecstasy of sucking another's life-blood fills your mind, your head, your everything. And yet, you suck and suck and suck, squeezing your victim harder and sucking the life out of him.

You do not realize you've dropped the dead body; you do not realize you've taken to the air, awash in the blood of a young dark Adonis. Remorseless and conscienceless, you disappear once again into the night.

So, what happened next?

Did u just see that reply Ayo? I posted it ages ago!

Cayon:
Secret Love
by SashaMirage

They meet in the garden behind the castle at the stroke of midnight
Her heart begins to race as he takes her by the hand

She gazes deep into her lover's eyes wishing for their love to last
Anticipating the moment he will come take her away with him forever

The warm night embraces the sweetness delight of the secret love charm

Chimes blow in the wind playing a magical tune as they begin to dance
Hypnotized by the music of their love, drunk from the love in his eyes
The rhythm of the drum beats into their hearts and puts them in a trance

Reminds me of Romeo and Juliet

origina9ja:
because of somepeople that have been annoying me on nairaland
i stop coming online only because i was trying to give an advice that was said to be wrong or maybe because i'm sort of different

At least u used 3 because. . . that's all that counts 

@ Sisi Jinx: It's the new year girl, it's now 3 months since the last Because Winner! I have degrees in Becauseology gathering dust in ma drawers, waiting for winners to claim'em!! Or should Bluespice (and Vesc) take up the mantle? _{Just a suggestion shaa. . .}

bluespice:
We are peace loving blood thirsty people that seek only to cause the maximum amount of pain in the minimum amount of mess/gore.

Disclaimer: The writer has had a few bottles of nice red wine therefore, she can not be held accountable for the factuality or otherwise of any comment or statement afore mentioned especially this one you are still joblessly reading

The above nullifies everthing. . . well, almost everything u said. I was almost getting ready to believe u, then u went and mentioned red wine
The truth is that we must ALL be a little twisted out of our sockets to even be posting in this thread - look at the title! But u know what? I don't mind; half of my day is spent in this highly organized office with highly organized workers who follow a highly organized set of rules inorder to achieve a highly organized business plan. By God I could use a little craziness after such a highly organized day!
https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/cool/cool0012.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/party/party0011.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/jumping/jumping0004.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/jumping/jumping0046.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0029.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0074.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0059.gif 

Hi V!

Sisi Jinx:
This is for my one and only boss who for some reason is miffed at me. Oh Boss, won't ya let bygones be bygones?

But I aint miffed at ya, honey-crumbs, I'm just playing atcha.
https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/cool/cool0044.gif We's members of the same team - The President and the Boss - right?

vescucci:
Disclaimer: I have never met, flirted, interacted, or socialised with any of the NL peeps above. This is a concerted and calculated effort to make me seem like the opposite of what I actually am: The All-Nigerian Sweetheart. Blink blink.

Don't mind him, people. V and me, we are beer buddies . . . c'mon V, tell'em z truf

Sisi Jinx:
_{Don't mind me, I went trouble seeking in the culture and family section, got my behind handed to me and now I've come home to lick my wounds!
Yet they say you can't go home again. Bah! What do they know, eh?}

Last I saw you around there you were speaking hausa with some fulani guys. But I could've sworn t'was your double (abi "twin sister" that received those bashings. Guess you two are connected in more ways than one. . . Anyway you are right shaa - they don't do it like we do it over here - like fine wine! https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/animated/anim_53.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/cool/cool0044.gif

vescucci:
Y'all are sick psychos 

Hello pot!!

https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/evilgrin/evilgrin0022.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/evilgrin/evilgrin0039.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/evilgrin/evilgrin0017.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/evilgrin/evilgrin0007.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0040.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0024.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0043.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0070.gif https://img3.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/fighting/fighting0059.gif
Ok, this officially inaugurating _{(had to spell that 3times)} inaugurating Psycho Central. Head Psycho: Bluspice; Assistant Head Psycho: Vesc; Member: me!
New members are welcomed!!

Ok, so I went Googling; frankly, Sisi, it aint fair with Question 2!! I mean, I could stomach the rest, but twisting the question like that. . . mean!

Lets see:

Q1: It's Ceberus. I watched years ago in Clash of the Titans - but the dog in that movie was NOT anything like the one JRK painted.

Q2: True. Remember Odyssey starring Armand Asante? That Hermes fella was pretty cool, floating around like that. . . I actually wished I was him after watching the movie

Q3: Umm, I go with Professor McGonagall, full name: Minerva McGonagall. But Minerva was mostly a goddess of war, wasn't she? _{Were's my copy of Greeks and Trojans. . .}

Q4: Romulus.

Q5: No Googling? Gaarrrrh! Ok, let's see. . . Dido had something to do with Prince Aeneas of Troy - and Hermione is Roman. . . naa, Dido's out. Helen of Troy - hey Sisi! Helen's from Sparta, Menalaus's wife - didn't u watch sexy Brad Pitt in Troy? OK, back to the question . . . Hera is Zeus' wife right? Hmmm . . . and Penelope was Odysseus' wife with a son . . . Telecheus or Telemacheus or something like that. So that leaves Hera and Helen.

I think I'll go with Hera; I don't think Helen had any child - there sure wasn't any in the movie! 

Q6: Circe. (I wonder what he looked like in that photo though)

Q7: Moon - pretty obvious.

Q8: Mulciber aka Vulcan. Helped the Greeks (upon Hera's appeal) in the Trojan war. . .  I think 

Q9: Oh shit. I don't know, but I'll hazard Achilles. Just curious now: who was the hero that slew Calibox - Theseus abi Perseus? Darned greek names; they all sound alike - theseus, perseus, odysseus, "all-the-'euses"

Q10: Narcissa (Tricky one swtiching the name to a feminine form. I never made the connection until saw the question)

What type of books?

Before answer, I want get a few things of my chest. I have a BIG bone to pick with JKR.

Truth is, I'm just NOT a fan of Harry Potter. Sure, i read all the 7 Harry Potter books - heck, if there was an 8th, i'd have read it too - nice English names, even nicer writing style. But by God, each time I finish one of them books, I just wana throw a tantrum:

Why are Ron and Hermione always arguing - even unto 7th grade (or whateva) when they must be grown teenagers??

Why was Harry such an idiot in the Deathly Hallows - saying 'Voldemort' like that (after SEVERAL warnings!!) and getting them all caught??

Why can't Ron ever get a smart word in when he's being teased - NOT EVEN ONCE ALL THROUGH THE 7 BOOKS?? Even his kid sister wipes the wall with his face!! Pathetic.

Why, oh why is Hermione such a show-off? No.1 "Over-Sabi"! On a personal note, I ABSOLUTELY agree with Prof Snape - gee, that girl sure loved showing off! 

And why did Ron have to wait till the second-to-the-last page of the LAST book (or there about  ) before kissing Hermione?? Gash, Naija guys, they start kissing just a few pages after the book's begun.

Why did we have to wait till the last book before a Death-eater was killed?

Why was JKRowling always helping Harry out of fights? Others fight, lose and die - or lose a part of their body, like George who lost his ear. But not Harry, no sir; apart from his "adorable" lightening scar, the young cheek never sustains any other lasting bodily harm - even all through his battles with Voldemort. Rather if the fight gets too intense, he just zaps off to another dimension where he gets to have little chit-chats with Dumbledore. Makes me wana break something.

And lastly, why - for mercy's sake, WHY - did Cedric Diggory have to die? God, there were lots of others to chose - Harry and Hermione for starters! Such a nice, gentle. . .  he was 10times the man Harry was - and yet Harry survived; why couldn't he?

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!

Ok, now i can answer your questions, Sisi. _{But wait a minute though; where u been, girl?}