₦airaland Forum

muykem:
Nothing but truth but thank God he has finally see things for himself. let action begin against all these unguided Fulani headmen.

Story. The only way to end this is to secretly form and arm underground vigilante and give those bastards a dose of Stalingrad treatment.

sarrki:
I am not supporting any one

But this crisis have been on before now

The way we are politicizing it is what baffles me

For over a decade the fight has been on

Okpo! Ewu awusa.

He actually graduated at 8. Bunch of untalented liars.

FortifiedCity:


On a second thought, because of buhari's acrimonious nature, he might now go and forever feel less concerned on anything concerning venue which now empower the marauding murderers

Honestly I wish my kind of personality is the governor of Benue state. Fulani herdmens and Nigerian soldiers will be dying in there numbers, without anyone hearing the news. By now people will be searching for them.

He visited to do his campaign. Such a useless cow. #BackToDaura

Pharaoh001:
I am devastated too....... Lifu were the best housemate so far ......I'm pretty sure there's campaign on those vote,here in Nigeria.....if not,only an slowpoke will vote for Team Ceelo....and they were always leading with massive gap..
I feel so sorry for Ifunada.....but i'm gonna miss Leo.......oh my leo

please can you teach me how to prepare that dish on your profile pic

labiodun48:
And this woman's children would celebrate her as the best mother, wonderful mama, mama rere and all other b.s. Pls if a woman can't treat other children like her she's not a good mother.

Best comment. I will keep on saying this, the only yardstick for measuring how good a mother is, Is how well she treats other children not hers . unfortunately, most of them fail the test.

hisgrace090:
What south east enjoy today can only be the hand work of God almighty.

If safety is from govt south east would not have tasted it by now.

Igbo's have respect for human life

This one na naija movie.

sarrki:
Ipobs did not believe in freedom of speech, association and religion

Ipobs are terrorist

your such a hopeless fool. Like father like son

Holysucker:
All dis one na tales by moon light stories..

who get time to dey do all dis one..if i dont fancy a girl anymore d only tin i do is stop picking her calls and visiting her...wit time she will get d message...shikina. All dis one na tales by moon light stories..

who get time to dey do all dis one..if i dont fancy a girl anymore d only tin i do is stop picking her calls and visiting her...wit time she will get d message...shikina.

I just find the write up very funny. So I decided to share with you guys

Hi guys, for some of you who are tired of there girlfriend and would want a break up, without hurting her. Here are some tips on how to achieve this. Also note that I copied this from another website, so I don't own the write up. Some of the points are really funny. So sit back and enjoy

1. Be disgusting. However gender politics wax and wane, women still hate that. Farting, burping and blowing your nose on your fingers haven't become attractive just because we're all feminists now. Sometimes, you can edge a girl out just by being sufficiently revolting. Why not "furtively" scratch your arse, then tenderly stroke her hair? She'll never fancy you again. The rest will follow naturally.

2. Verbal tics are always useful. Ask her casually, "Do I use the word 'cool' too often?" Then use it all the time. In every sentence. Dozens of times a day. Soon enough, she won't be able to bear another minute in your company.

3. Crowd her out. Talk over her, boss her around and refuse to be flexible. Be macho, demanding and difficult. As a bonus, you'll get loads of great sex due to your rippling manly ways. Then, one day, she'll wake up and run screaming back to her life.

4. When dining with her parents, wait until she's talking, then catch her mother's gaze and roll your eyes.

Better still, ask "Was she always like this?" and share a conspiratorial chuckle. If the mum makes a joke at her expense, roar with laughter. In the car home, say: "Your mum's great. I think we really connect." You'll be free of the relationship before the next traffic light.

5. Dance with enthusiasm when nobody else is dancing. At dinner parties, shout "Come on everyone!" and jig around the room. Be the first to hit the floor at weddings, pre-empting the bride and groom. Insist on starting a conga in the pub. It'll be cute the first time. And then it really won't be.

You'll be dancing into the horizon.


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6. Cry after sex. [/b]Even better (if you can manage it), during. Have a good old sob. The first time, she will hold you tight and murmur loving words. The second time, she'll ask nervously, "Are you all right?". The third time, you'll wake up to find her packing.

[b]7. Be stingy. It's an astonishingly effective tack for making yourself unattractive. Buy birthday presents from the petrol station, split all dinner bills and take no more than €50 spending money on holiday. Of course, if you're short of money then this won't work; you'd simply be showing a sensible approach to finances. Undercut this by purchasing yourself expensive designer clothes and a lot of computer games. Jesus, that'll p*** her off.

8. Whatever you do, don't listen to her. When she's talking about something important, simply tune out. Respond inappropriately to show you're not paying attention: say "Hmm, that's a pity" when she's delivering great news, and "Oh good" when it's something terrible. On the phone, make sure to tap audibly at an email while she's speaking. Face to face, don't be afraid to actually wander out of the room in the middle of a conversation, as though you assume she's finished. If she's tearful, be sympathetic - while simultaneously checking your iPhone for football scores. This behaviour will soon drive her into the arms of a kinder and more attentive man, whom she doesn't fancy as much as you but likes better. Perfect.

9. If you think you can drive a woman away by being nasty to her friends, guess again. She hates her friends. The ruder you are to them, the more she'll adore you. As for making bitchy remarks about them on the way home, you may as well engrave your name on her heart in gold. She might express disapproval, even anger - but, secretly, she'll be drumming her fingers until 29 February, then hiding a ring in the soufflé. Instead, take the opposite tack. Bond excessively with the friends. Take their numbers. Send them funny emails. If she's away for the weekend, hang out with them and watch DVDs. Ring them "just to say hi". She'll tell you how delighted she is that you all get on. Then she'll dump you and tell the friends they must never speak to you again.

10. On social occasions with people she knows less well, be a bore. I don't mean be quiet: that can be rather sexy at the right time. No, speak up as often and extensively as possible. Tell dull anecdotes, recount stories about people whom nobody has met. Really hold the floor.She will soon realize that you are social death.

11. You must be a tremendous bore when the two of you are alone. The key to this is voicing opinions that everybody holds, but as though your insight is new and special. Find long-winded ways of saying that the Lib Dems have sold out, the weather's always bad on bank holidays or the world's too dependent on technology. Don't just mention these ideas in passing, really spell them out, ideally while she's watching a favourite TV programme or reading a book. This will soon persuade her that she desperately needs you to leave.

12. Take a lot of long, luxuriant baths. There's something weirdly annoying about men who take a lot of long baths. Don't listen to the cricket at the same time, as this is masculine and attractive. Instead, fill the bath with bubbles. Put candles around it. Make satisfied umming noises. Before getting in, use the phrase, "I'm just going for a soak in the tub." After a while, she will tell you that the spark has gone. She'll be sad, sorry and puzzled - she genuinely won't know why. But you and I will know it's the baths. They've got to her subconscious.

13. Always drink too much. Don't stop until you're staggering, slurring and slightly embarrassing yourself. In bed, paw at her incompetently and belch at key moments. Then fall asleep, sweating lager and snoring loudly. She'll dump you in time to get your liver back into shape.

14. Be lame and weedy on all matters related to your diet and health. Go vegan, then insist you won't eat carrots, mushrooms or any kind of salad because you don't like them. Develop a wheat allergy. Groan "I feel faint! I feel bloated!" after every meal. Then try bravely eating a piece of toast, and take to your bed for days with a "bread hangover".


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15. Take a keen interest in her diet. Don't be overtly bossy or critical as it's far more annoying to be subtle. Simply say, "Oh, are you having that?" in a quizzical tone, every time she makes herself a sandwich. When you're in a restaurant, suggest she has the fish. Ask to sample her pudding, then cram most of it onto the spoon and swallow it whole. Remember not to be openly insulting: that could destroy her self-esteem and have her clinging to you for years. Instead, keep it cutesy and infuriating. Thus, she will retain her confidence and shed only you. If you want to speed up the process, refer to her playfully as "Mrs Wobble-Bottom".

16. Actually, any nickname will do. Anything twee and fluffy should kill off the sexual aspect of your relationship and turn you neatly into friends. Friends who slightly despise each other. As for her given name, mispronounce it at all times.

17. Same goes for her wardrobe: you're keen. Beg to go shopping every Saturday. Plead: "Just one more hour!" when she wants to stop for coffee. You're not looking for sexy outfits, quite the opposite. Say things like "This would be marvellous for work" when you see a foul beige skirt suit, then hold it up to her neck and swivel her towards the mirror. Run your fingers lovingly over fabrics, look for matching shoes, and discuss sleeve lengths carefully with the shop assistant. When she dumps you, rather than explain it all in detail, she may just tell her friends that she caught you jerking off over a copy of Attitude. But you're okay with that, right? You're a modern guy.

18. If your fussy diet isn't putting her off quick enough, introduce some physical activity. I don't mean team sports. I mean spinning and aerobics classes where you're the only man there. I mean roller-skating in the park, amongst kids 20 years younger than you, announcing as you skate that you're "strengthening up the trunk". I mean riding an old-fashioned ladies' bicycle, kitted out from head to toe in protective day-glo clothing, wobbling slightly as you ride. You can go to the gym if you want, but only in a Borat-style mankini teamed with socks.

19. Freak her out with your cultural tastes. Get massively into Michael Bublé, put up posters of Dannii Minogue and read Jordan's novels. Then, just as she decides you're a harmless yet lovable slowpoke, get interested in Nick Griffin. Acquire some of the literature. Go to the odd meeting "just to see".

Suddenly, you're the wrong sort of slowpoke: the fast route to singledom. Or, if she seems to like you more for your new sympathies, you can chuck her by text without feeling guilty.

20. OK, last option. Sit her down, tell her kindly and respectfully that she's wonderful but the relationship isn't working for you. Talk it through for as long as she wants

Fresh babe

Am very likely not going to hit my wife, provided she didn't hit me first. But if she starts giving me a lot of trouble she will definitely leave my house as quick as possible.

sosonwa:
Onye obula wuzi actress. Oh chim

Ike gwu

bejeria101:
Is the last cowbender coming to raise the dead?

Lol. Such a heartless man

Ndi ara

I don't even accept holly communion. Imagine sharing a cup with hundreds of strangers.

chriskosherbal:
Shan George sef na there dem for dey see you ...


Who don spoil don spoil


NB: The exact size of a man's joystick is not measured at a flaccid state ( non erect state) but rather the true measurement of both the length and width (circumference ) of a man's joystick is done when it is fully erect .


Some people joystick looks big even at flaccid state and when erect still maintain such length or at most little addition but others looks little at flaccid state but becomes massive during erection . It is the degree of blood inflow into the joystick that determines how large ( both in length & width) the joystick will be and this can only be experienced at an erect state .

Gbam!

Acidosis:
She has decided to break away from the "My Mother is the Best in the Whole World" African syndrome, so you guys should let her be.

"Nigeria has the best Mothers in the world, and the worst set of Mother-in-laws in the world." That's how confused we have become.

This is one of the many problems with non-realists: they tend to manufacture different measuring scales to measure similar/same situation, always using emotion in the place of common sense to evaluate issues.

ooh my your so sound and very rational. The truth is most African women/mothers are actually wicked. They can only love there own children. Just look at the way most of them are treating there house help, daughter in-laws(without any reason), in some cases they even transfer the hatred they have for there daughter in-laws to there innocent grand children. When you look at the bad choices of leaders Nigerians make, you will understand there level of sentiments and hypocrisy when making judgement.

Iseoluwani:

Lol

Cutehector:
Locked you out of home on Wednesday night and you had no where to go?


Sharap and tell the whole world also where you came from at that hour of the night? See slay queen who went to Cubana.

An African mother is an African mother, an icon, you mess up, she messes you up. She didnt spare the rod so that you can have sense in this life and thank goodness it worked. She is not afraid to chastise you! Yes she is proud you didn't toe the path of hoe-ism and she is proud you graduated as a chartered accountant..

Nonsense girls everywhere mchew.

chastising her for one full year? Most ladies would have gone astray if given the same treatment. Her passing her exams, actually vindicates her and shows that, she is actually responsible and hardworking. Stop slut shaming every lady you see, is very irresponsible of you.

lexy2014:
that's family planning which is different from.what she talked about

The guy has no reliable source of income. He shouldn't have gotten married, in the first place. Now if the guy is actually rational, he would have given the same reason this lady gave, if asked why he has not gotten married.

lexy2014:
that's family planning which is different from.what she talked about

The guy has no reliable source of income. He shouldn't have gotten married, in the first place. Now if the guy is actually rational, he would have given the same reason this lady gave, if asked why he has not gotten married.

lexy2014:
first of, she isn't talking about family planning. She's sees children as things that won't enable her do d things she wants 2do.

Well its her life, no one is obliged to have kids. All this Fulani herdsmen wey dey kill people, na very good example of poor or no parenting.

ImaIma1:
If that is the point she was trying to make, she should have said children are big responsibilities. Using "burden" makes it sound negative.

They have the same meaning. Some of them will grow up to become a problem to the society. If you can't give them the best, please save the world another trouble maker. Only well trained children are beneficial to the society and worth celebrating. My cents

Butoneday2:
Akwuna ga ebe akwa nwa na una nka? Do u tink u will flirt 4 ever don't worry wen dose two balls u hang on ur chest goes flat like slippers ur eyes go clear. The beautiful ones are not yet born and ur here talking thrash. U no go find ur sef a better guy dat will Bleep u and give u adam and eve dey dia dey waste ur miserable life.

Will you carter for there needs? how would you feel if your parents are unable to provide your basic needs or simply think there are better things to do than nurse a baby, but still brought you to this world to suffer. Its a crime to birth a child you cannot carter for, in Europe.

emmayayodeji:
See bashing comments!!
This girl is actually saying the bitter truth

Especially in this part of the world where the sole reason for most marriages is to start manufacturing children with no adequate plans and amenities to cater for em

I dey tell you. I know someone with two set of twins, but still jobless. If you can't take care of them, don't bring them into this world

Shedrack777:
My God! Where Have We Gone Wrong For All These to Be Happening? God, Give Us Peace

stop shouting god and prepare to fight

tiwasiaife:
I wailed, fayose cried, bode George screamed, Gani Adams shouted ,
but u were shouting sai buhari gej must go
I saw u standing under the sun for three hours trying to vote pmb. and you trekked from ogbomoso to kastina in solidarity for pmbs victory .
Now u are calling.compatriots to come.
you have never seen anything yet

My brother, let's forgive them and join hands in voting out that evil man. Even Jonathan did not perform well. Obido ta diba mma, odiba gbo. Its for our collective benefit

highqueen:
dear,he can be so jobless..

he quotes people for a living.

Lol. You mean he is the manager of Quoting people group of companies ?

They are celebrating there nemesis. Bunch of fools