₦airaland Forum

Fed civil service commissiong, under the ministry Of foreign affairs, has short listed for interview. Guy, can any one tell me the craterias used for this list. Because alots of my friends dnt make the list. The question is, could this be base on merit? Your opinion are highly welcome. Thks!

donguutti: "Why Do Pretty Women Cant Stay With A Single Guy"
could someone please translate this into pidgin English for me , i cant seem to understand this version

donutt or wetin u cal ur name self, dd u attend adult educatn? Go bak 2 skul my guy

@cindyrella i mean 3 pretttttttty gals, v. Pretty indeed like beyonce, lol! bt average pretty gals are countless. Cos they want me!

cindyrella: @op

how many cheating pretty girls have you met? :-/

i've dated 3 diffrent pretty gals, bt dey r 2 proud to admit me as 1 & only guy 4 dem. I'm also nt bad appearance-wise, so i dnt gv a damm, cos i can as well get hook up wit other preety gals

HARDDON: Sure tin T. Buh do step up a lil B. Work out and spread d gospel

cantv u jst shot d trap

pls i m directing this thread to all d pretty women in d house 2 let us know y they cant stay wit a single guy. thk u!

Information reaching that the commandant military cantoment jaji is to be relief his post as the commandant jaji barrack, in respect to the deadly attack that rock a church inside jaji barrack last week. Pls, anyone with more update to this report, should pls share. Thks

RexioKlasik: U gat a lot of growin up 2 do@poster

yep! D sky na my infinity. 3 gbosa 4u! ***!!!

bin gbagbo: zakari and abubakari, all of them na "kari"

so in a competition, which one go carry last

use your brain

cum, wetin de wori dis dust-bin gbagbo dude nah? U wanna cari last? b my guess mtcheeeew!

Cabsso: Hey pals, am among d candidate dat wrote d Nigerian police academy exam. Is dia any body wit useful info on d result cos we‘v nt seen d result or heard any tin abt it uptil nw.

idiot! Na ur type de wnt 4 police? No go do ur agbero job stand 4 dr waste ur idiot time. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeew! Nonsense.

Cabsso: At poster u dull die!

big fool ur 2nd name na boda odè. 2nd bin gbagbo. Mtcheeeeeeew nonsense!

bin gbagbo: HMMMMMMMMMMM

I stopped this taxi and hopped in at the back.There was this bearded man sitting next to me looking disturbed.I was feeling heavy, then i heard the man next to me say, "please, you r sitting on my luggage!"He said this three times and almost cried the last time.i couldnt believe why he was talking with so much pain until i realised i was sitting on his swollen groin.He was suffering hernia, and it was soooooooooo big it covered the entire back seat!!!

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

An elderly man, probably in his late 50's stole money from a police officer's back-pocket.Buntu, a young boy only 12 years saw the man and almost screamed "thief!" but the man begged him to keep quiet else he would be lynched. The little agreed to keep quiet on the condition that, he was going to give the man 20 hot slaps to which the man agreed. . .
3 minutes on and buntu had already given the man 15 slaps and was just about to give the 16th slap when a woman passing by stopped and yelled "hey buntu!, dont you have manners? this man is old enough to even be your father and you are here slapping him, come on st. . ." she no land when the man replied "woman, na your cheek buntu the slap? why dont you mind your yeye business. . .mtcheew, buntu where did we get to? " "oga 15. ."
"oya, carry on!!!

SPLIFF

I was seated under the Okro tree in my Papa's house reminiscing how i stole church money from the offering bowl under the guise of giving my own offering.I felt ashamed of myself, so resolved to go to my pastor, (Father paul) to confess my sins.
in 5 minutes, i was at the mission house.The mission house was very unusUally quiet and with an unusual repugnant odour on the compound.I smelled a dog, a rat, so i tip-toed to the main hall, which had the door ajar.I entered the hall, and unbelievably, saw Father Paul with a spliff(GANJA) smoking and listening to Peter Tosh's "legalise it". grin
The moment he saw me, he knelt down before me and begged me never to disclose it to any one
Father Paul wept and wept and begged me.So , i took the Spliff from him, and smoked it! It was my first time wink, so the moment i burnt the first roll, i left the mission house and got home.When i got home, I saw some unusual creatures in my Papa's house.Two midgets, a masquerade and a small rat.All os a fudden grin grin, One of the midgets started asking me unnecessary questions, so i gave it a sound beating, feeling soooo high! Then, the second midget came, then i slapped him left right and center, kicked him and beat him well well. I was feeling sooo irie until i saw that masquerade coming with some three black goats.The goats had no horns and did not bleat too.Before i realised, the three goat had locked me up, i wonder how they did it. . .
i woke up next morning in Police custody.There i realised, those two midgets i was seeing were my mum and dad, the masquerade, my grandfaada and those black goats, police officers.Ever since, i dont smoke Egbo again!!!


OGA BISMARK. . .

Oga Bismark was caught on top of his househelp by Mariam his wife.
"Bismark you are a disgrace!, a big one, so na because of this dirty stinking househelp you no go work today?" Miriam screamed!
Oga bismark replied " shut up dia , you witch!, abi you dont know say even dirty water fit quench fire??'












miriam saw her period!!


HAUSA NO DEY CARRY LAST

An IBOman, a YORUBAman and a HAUZAman are all going to be executed by a firing squad. The IBOman is taken out and told to face the wall so he does but just as they're going to shoot him, he shouts "Earthquake!" and the firing squad runs away. Then they bring out the YORUBAMANman and he faces the wall but just as they are going to shoot he shouts "Tidal Wave!" and the firing squad again runs away. The HAUZAman is brought out and they tell him to face the wall and just as the firing squad is about to shoot, the HAUZAman shouts, "Fire!"



( just fun, no tribalism intended please!)

nonsense copy & past. Idiot boy wetin u call ur name? Dustbin muka-gbagbo mtcheeeeeew!

bin gbagbo: you are a fooool

na ur papa b d biggest mumu 4 d whole nl. Idoit! Nonsense

a carpenter man get angry wit my frd because d guy ask am say 'hw market' dis carpenter depend more on coffin makg. He shout 2 my guy ' una no wnt make we chop abi?, make una die so dat we can make coffin 4u nah?, y una no wnt die now, abeg make una die. Dnt wori a go design a nice pillor insde 4u & a.c' i jst de laugh aaaaaaah!

For those who dont mind working in the core north, forward your updated resume/ c.v to careers@ssuniversity.edu.ng b4 mid night 30-11-12 wishing u all da bst!

@Lagusta dnt stp lafin, u can do beta Lol!!! D tori neva stil finish sha!

A man got d biggest bitten of his life for failing to adhere to instructions from a military. This dude happen to be a potential nigeria army recruit. He find his way to d barrack luking for help from an army, by d time he got 2 barrack gate, he was seriously humiliated by d officer at d gate, he was asked to open d bag he was carrying, but out of annoyance, he angryly drop d bag right infront of d officer, this cause evry one around 2 panic includin d army. Immidiatly, evryone maintain some distance from d scene. Here come a loud voice from distance 'disclose d content of ur bag b4 d count of three'x3...

Pls i dnt know if any dude on naira land have witness a secret code attached to any mail coming from jobbaman to your inbox, by the time you click on that link sent to, you have created a direct access link to e-mail. The jobbman admin can access your inbox direct via that link any time. This has been happening to me quite a long time before a finally find solution. Pls dont click on any active link sent you by this people, they are scammer. They notify an unexiting job vacancies. Pls if u have any experience, u can share. Thank u 4 ur time!

Pls this a kind warning to all unemployed graduate who submit their c.v to any where they notice vacancy. Pls endeavor to make a clear enquiries b4 u honor any call for interview, because some scammers have took d advantage of this job business to perpetrate different kind of criminal activities. A of somebody who honor a call for interview and later become a kidnap hostage was recorded yesterday. The ring were demanding for a ransom of N10million from his parent. So be careful. God we see us through

NEGOSIATIONS
Bh spokeman: i wnt 2 size fire!
Govt Jtf: ok call al ur remaing bh boy 2 assemble @nationat assmbly
bh spkoman: hmmm! Enh u wnt reveng by bomb bah?
Govt jtf: no, i wnt c evry bh boy faces 1by1
bh spokeman: i go send abu qaqa nw.***

Boko harm has receivd a big blow frm d jtf! Lol!

Bh are hv receivd a big-blow @kano,bauchi, yobe. Nw de wnt 2 retaliate. More greese 2 ur elbw: jtf bravo!

Wat ever humilatn 9ja folks get around d globe, our leadr cost it. 2 many q&a unanswer. Y coruptn ctn indefinatly? Y inpunity gain upper hand in d our senate n rep?, y terrorsm get suport 4fm so cal govt?, y unemploymt ovaweming graduate? Y religion, ethnic prblm gain ground?, y? Y?... No answer. No wondr common malawi humiliantin 9ja

Dondbuzor: Malawi?
Is that a name of a dog?

bros! Park well. Nigeria put ur house in other b4 cameroun capture nig. Ova bakasi isue

@cindy, my applictn 4u! U can page me @olaa3116@gmail.com. my pleasure!

Fastg has bn proven gud 2 d health even by non-muslms. Muslm around d world need nt wori much abt dis, cos der r more dan surprsg tin has hapning in islam. ALLAHU WAk baru!

maclatunji: Any self-respecting bookshop should have the translated copy of the Qur'an. You must learn to separate ignorance of some Muslims from Islam just as some of us do separate the ignorance of some Christians from Christianity. A great problem we have is that a lot of people find it very convenient to lump the ignorance of some Muslims with Islam.

brother!...jazah ka kumu lah aiyran. Shukran broda

Idowuogbo: Guy, u sabi d happenings die!

korrect! Ur head de there. I de fill ur swag

Idowuogbo: Really?

Na Papa ajasco me saw o!

even 2pac cum rap while biggie de run d corus!

...'Who kill dele giwa? Na baba if put gida na ur own..'

I don warn u since, empty-hen just de try 2 scam us 4 dis country. Fake promo, win hundia x wit N100 subscpt dat never end. Pls guz let us al halla nooo... 2 ds cheatin frm ds scam network.

Riga folks shud watch dr back! BH hv found shelter @ rigasa. More of evil doers exposure.