₦airaland Forum

Geezeem:
I am all for Bella walking away.

Nobody should paint her a victim, she is an adult

she told us she doesn't like stress, is the ship not stressing her?

It's been only 3 weeks.. make she walk

Toby walked away from Ceecee after much longer time

So what's the big deal?

I even want this ship to end

It's not doing Sheggz any good

It's why I said she'll walk away, not yet though. As a matter of fact, they'll still break up and get together again. Right now, she's trying to link Sheggz her lover to the Sheggz that insulted her, trying to question her own judgment of the situation.

Amya:
I'd earlier said i was going to expatiate more on the narcissistic traits i see in Sheggs and maybe educate someone too in the process. Who knows, i might even save a life today.

Narcissists have a particular image they want to project. They would do anything to be seen in the light they want to be seen in. They want to be seen as the perfect person, the perfect spouse, the perfect parent etc. The fabric of their very own existence is created by others view of them. They're empty inside and need a lot of external validation, adulation and attention. If anything gets in the way of the perfect picture they want to project, then the blame goes to anybody but them. They would throw anyone under the bus, start the most ridiculous smear campaign, do any and everything to ensure their white remain unstained. It's not them, it's you. lol.

Narcissists have three Phase they're universally known with. The Love-bombing Phase, The Devaluation Phase and Finally, the Discard Phase. The Phases are sometimes one off, or go around in vicious cycles.

In the Love-bombing Phase, It just feels too good to be true. The target is loaded with over the top amount of affection. flattery, praise, very early in the relationship in other to win over the target. But most important of all, even the above listed is that they say exactly what their target wants to hear.

Sheggs came into the house and set his sights on Bella. I would think that she made the perfect target for him because her stoic personality made her a challenge and narcissists love a good challenge. I remember him saying she didn't look at him twice when he came in and that's why he set his sights on her.
The supply narcissist get from cracking the hardest rock is quite exhilarating. Sheggs went further to love-bomb Bella. He keyed into her deepest desires and brought them forth with his words. In the first few days of their meeting, he's already talking marriage, kids and the beautiful perfect life they'd have together. He talked about how perfect they are together and how everyone envies their love. Slowly Bella's stoic self begins to break and she fell yakata. We see it in the way she gazes into his eyes, the lingering touches and the blooming intimacy.

Now that he knows he has her in the palm of his hands, her moves for phase 1 round 2 ALIENATION. Narcissist will never be successful in being narcissists if they're unable to completely alienate their prey. He's not so comfortable with her creating deep bonds with others, He doesn't want her to dance with the guys etc. As a Narcissists succeeds with the alienating their prey, they proceed further.

They invalidate your feeling. I've seen this play out with Sheggs and Bella. When she tells him about something he did that she did not like, he blames her for feeling that way or causing it. Narcissist are self consumed individuals. Their needs come first. They like to have power and control over you and make you subservient to their needs. It's always all about them. Your emotions and priorities are something they don't care about. They will make you feel less then any chance they get. They will say you're naïve and that there's something wrong with you. They would keep trying to push and shape you into what they think their perfect mate should be like. You dare not be yourself. They keep on pushing your boundaries and if you keep adjusting just because you hate wahala and love peace, thinking they'll leave you alone. For wia! They'll never stop pushing and pushing and pushing. They slowly chip away at your self esteem and sense of self, till you lose yourself.

Unfortunately, there a lot of people who have found themselves in that vicious narcissistic cycle and can't get away. They begin to truly believe they're the ones with the actual problem because they've been gaslit to the moon. They keep thinking maybe if they do more or become better their spouse will change, but no, they simple don't change. The Narcissist will call it a day when they no longer have a need for you and brutally kick you to the curb.



Two months and two weeks is a short time to witness the full scale of a narcissistic abuse in the BBN house ,but as we've been seeing with Sheggs some of this character flaws as i wrote above still peeks through. For Bella's sake, i hope she somehow does not get sucked into a life of pain with this guy, if not, last night's tears is only the beginning of her woes.


Run Bella, Run!

Sorry for quoting the whole thing but I need everyone to see it again because this is ara adugbo matter.


Good thing is, if Bella's personality is as strong as I presume, the relationship will end. The extent of the damage caused before the relationship ends is what I'm unsure of.

Once again, thank you!

Eeghe:
Please read snippets on the thread …that’s exactly the short exchange that happened and to which we we were reacting

But for some more context- she asked him to either accept her for who she is while she works on herself (her words ) to go easy with the insults on him, or to stop talking to her if he can’t accept her…
…Deji chose the latter and she acted like she did not hear that… and continued stuff like keeping her feet under his body (for warmth- he told her stop and to get socks, she has red socks on now), acting sexy and all and it was not good

He told her she fights everybody, including Dotun her person, she narrowed the fights down to 3 people, and from which one has apologized to her.
He told her “if you fight so much with people maybe you are the problem”.

The guy also, on her prompt, told her the person he may be attracted to is Chichi, her face fell and it looked as if she. would borrow sense, but after some milli-seconds, she plunged on

I think she bought the “troublesome tag” he labeled her with, cos she is now telling Ally her interpersonal history

She also tried to see if he was jealous he saw her gisting with Bryann, apparently they had a talking session at the party, it turned out he wasn’t/isn’t jealous
He also wasn’t jealous of Cyph
I hated the bored and contempt- filled way he was talking to her, but she brought it upon herself full time

Hey Godu! Deji oooo, Doyin, make Deji of all people dey wash you like this. Omo!

scondy:
Look at what doyin is saying....Kunle wants to be friends with people he thinks are big outside...

Allysyn y r u upset he is not forthcoming and just saying he wants to be ur friend...

Babe needs a mirror?

Beorn:
Most people that do this shipping of a thing are one of the most idiotîc humans on earth. They'd blame anybody & anything while choosing to live in delusion. Bunch of psychos.

I do usually ship, baby.

Someone on the group is blaming Doyin. I dey dieeeeeeeeee

Can't even go into Shella's WhatsApp group because dem fit kick me out today if I start. O'chim!

Demnan:
First was alienating her.

First was lovebombing her.

Princess treatment, kwakwakwakwa.

scondy:
See phyna don dey speak English twist mouth....what love cannot do does not exist ....

scondy:
Guys like these will offend u...make u cry..loose ur mind then switch and start apologising....only to repeat same thing again and again

Some won't even apologise, Scondy, they won't! Choiiii! My Bella oooo.

Beorn:
Sheggz is saying he's disappointed that Bella said in the front of Chichi that whatever they had is over and that tomorrow she won't be talking with him. That it's disrespectful and he'd never said such to her especially in front of the HMs.

That he's not trying to brag but there are many beautiful girls in both houses who wants but he chose to be with Bella and be faithful to her when he can be with other ladies, so why would Bella say such to him.


Chiomzy tries to tell him that it's just lover's tiff and it shouldn't have escalated but now everyone knows they are quarreling. Sheggz said Bella can be stubborn but he's never to talk to her that way.

I said it!

Beorn:
Sheggz seems like a kind of man that downplays something serious and uses laughter and lots of vocabs to gloss over it. Why can't he address the issue? If he addresses it and apologize, Bella would be placated. His refusal to address it is the main problem.

That's manipulation.

Beorn:
Sheggz!! My man. For the first time, you said something that I liked. Maybe you're not totally useless after all. Big ups.

What did he say? Comman give me the full story, my love.

Beorn:
Yep. It's obvious.


Anyway they've made up. Shella shippers, Geezeem, KIDDRICAsHAWK, make una resume shipping.

I no dey oooo

dyydxx:
Sheggs can't talk exactly why he got angry and started insulting bella. Village people dey work overtime on his matter

He insulted her? Why? Please.

Threebear:
Female winner in the mud.

Hermes for the win jare .

Oshokhai69:
[b]This Doyin with her H factor[/b]go just wake up and wear make up and wig 247. Which kain low self esteem be this? Last last na this kain girls dey smell pass

Shurrup

Geezeem:
Shame kwa?

If shamelessness was a person, it would be Doyin

The only reason her ass isn't all over the internet by now is cos Cyph was in a different house and has left... and no one else would lay with her.

Doyin is water...any space and contain will do... she just want to flow

Geezeem:
I remember that year when BamTeddy fans were dragging us, team Mina for sex happening btw Nina and Miracle

Everyday... all day, they were dragging us like tiger gen, till biggy came through for us and showed us BamTeddy digging it out in the toilet.... everywhere burst that day

Toilet A

garfield1:
Laycon too

Eeghe:
My least liked female is Bella
My least liked male is Shegzlla

nazablossom:
Bella, don't spoil Biggie's blender o

She's big Bella, she's allowed to spoil it.

MasterSteps:



Chi Chi is coming on, quite strongly


Abeg free my Doyin, She's an emotional person, I support the pursuit of whatever and whoever will bring her peace.

Now that Deji is after her life, shey you dey happy?

There's nothing wrong with being emotional or expressing your emotions, it only becomes bad when you're tactless with it.

OROSUNBOLB:
Haters,especially ladies out there,tell me you don't wish your boyfriend or been husband treats you just the same way Sheggz is treating Bella ? Omo,leave story,these two are in love jare ! They're quite sexy together !

Ehn?

Geminita1:
Aunty rest.

Fine face is what makes a woman beautiful else Allyson would be beautiful too.

If you have a good body, you are just 'hot' or 'a fetish'. Beauty is in the eyes, the eyes are on the face. Bella is beautiful. Admit it and move on.

Wahalurrrrrr for everybody

scondy:
As in...u get the picture....she wants to ship so badly with a "it" guy....she doesn't even apply caution at all

Yuppp. It's probably the only reason she didn't move to the Chizzy guy.

Be like iku oko lo koko ku in her former life. A o kuku ni resu.

Giel:
Lmao
Wahala

Beze992:
See how they're romanticizing her obvious weakness of not staying in one place and making it look like a strength. Someone that is a hustler......... Mtshew. This agenda will never agend.

New housemate will come on Sunday, she go profess love again. Na here we go dey.

MamBi:
You are a troublemaker

She dragged them through the mud.

homesteady:
More on this -

Sheggz said when they come out, offers for a reality show for him and Bella will come, but he will reject it because he doesn’t want his life to be out in public again.
Bella asked why they should reject it when they will be paying them.

Nothing kills me more than his delusional arse.

MizzD:
Team Hermes, welcome me o , I have seen the light

Team, Dotun bye bye o

majamajic:
I swear , as if Bella is queen elizabeth . As if he never see that kind of woman all your life , telling Eloswags that he will beat him up if he challenge Bella again . Imagine !

That's my mannnnn! Shege boboooo