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Killz3's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Killz3's Profile › Killz3's Posts

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Jokes Etc › Re: Men Vs Women Gender Jokes. . . by Killz3(m): 10:14pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]Name the Leg

A student needed an extra small diversified course to fill the requirements of his graduation. He picked a course on Zoology.

Then came a test time. The professor handed out a sheet of paper with only four pairs of legs drawn. He then asked the class to name the four wild birds from their legs.

The student kept staring and staring at legs and was getting no where. His agitation and anger grew to a boiling point. Ultimately, he got up rushed to the teacher in the front and smashed the test on the teacher's desk.

"How can you give stupid test like this?" angry He blasted at teacher.

The annoyed teacher looked up and said: "You boy, you have flunked the test. What's your name?"

The angry student pulled up his pants to the knee baring his legs and yelled:

"Look here at my legs, and tell me what is my name." angry
[/color]
Jokes Etc › Re: Men Vs Women Gender Jokes. . . by Killz3(m): 9:56pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]Bad Hearing grin grin

A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?"


The doctor replies, "Try this test to find out for sure. When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you."

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, "What's for dinner, honey?"

He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again.

Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Again, no answer.

Finally he stands directly behind her and says, "Honey, what's for supper?"

She replies, "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf idi[i]o[/i]t. angry
[/color]
Jokes Etc › Re: Men Vs Women Gender Jokes. . . by Killz3(m): 9:43pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]Never before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred kept under their bed. The box had been there for the past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded his privacy.


One day, while cleaning, she decided to take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything he was hiding since she could have looked at it any other time but hadn't. In the box she found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. This seemed very strange so she went to Fred and asked, 'Why are there 3 eggs in a box under our bed?'

He replied, 'Well, every time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box.'

Sue was surprised and hurt that he had been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact that they had been married for over 20 years and he had only been unfaithful 3 times.

'But where did the 10 thousand dollars come from?' she asked.



'Every time I got a dozen eggs, I sold it.'
[/color]
Jokes Etc › Re: Men Vs Women Gender Jokes. . . by Killz3(m): 9:22pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]A month overdue grin grin grin grin

Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:

"I have great news, I 'm a month overdue. I think we are going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from BSES (Bombay Suburban Electricity Supply) because the electricity bill has not been paid.

Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma ?

Yes, speaking

BSES guy: "You! re a month overdue, you know!"

How do YOU know? stammers the young woman. huh

Well, ma'am, its in our files! says the BSES guy .

What are you saying? Its in your files , HOW?

Yes, We have a system of finding out who's overdue

GOD !!!!!!, this is too much.

Madam, I am sorry, I am following orders, I have to inform you, that you are overdue

I know that let me talk to my husband about this tonight, he will speak to your company tomorrow

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he mad as a bull, rushes to BSES
office the next day morning.

Whats going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours? angry the husband shouts.

Just calm down, says the lady at the reception at BSES, its nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.

PAY you? and if I refuse? undecided

Well, in that case, sir, we have no option but to cut yours off.

And what would my wife do then? the husband asks.

I dont know. I guess, she would have to use a candle!!! undecided
[/color]
Nairaland General › Re: Bridal Shower For Our Girl, Slimyem (There's An After Party - Bach Eve Party) by Killz3(m): 8:48pm On Jan 31, 2012
Tobailoveu:
i dnt want any trouble. rhe groom is not my toba. congrats gal
[color=#000030]Who be dis one again o? You smoke mess? huh[/color]
Jokes Etc › Re: Funny Meme by Killz3(m): 8:41pm On Jan 31, 2012
laf i no fit laf

smile i no fit smile

even i cry water no comot!

[size=14pt]i bleep sef precipitate no gree comot
[/size]
dull
[color=#000030]DIES![/color] grin grin grin grin
Nairaland General › Re: Bridal Shower For Our Girl, Slimyem (There's An After Party - Bach Eve Party) by Killz3(m): 8:21pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]So toba is finally getting married. . . cheesy ope o[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 5:56pm On Jan 31, 2012
freecocoa:
^^come don't let me remember you,I'm warning you.
[color=#000030]The best answer for unrepentant idiotic bastards is what? Ignore them! They'll never come up with something new. . . Just subscribe to their stupidity and let them entertain! #E kwu si gom! cool[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 5:49pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]**Subscribing** cool[/color]
Romance › Re: How To Manage My Three Girlfriends On Valentine's Day by Killz3(m): 5:45pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]What are you doing with three girlfriends? Now you want to leave town because of girls, so what is your gain?[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 5:27pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]The fools are gathering as expected! . . . **Subscribing to their idiocy as usual** Let's see if they come up with something new from their dead brains. . . Fcck faces! cheesy cheesy[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 4:42pm On Jan 31, 2012
Dude don't go all personal on me abeg,why are you trying to make this about you and what people claim you to be?I'm just trying to tell you that you at times it pays to be realistic and argue objectively,the way you go about it makes it sound like your point is the only reasonable one that's where I have a problem,if you decide to stay by your wife's sick bed and never work in your life,that would be your problem and not mine.

All I'm saying is understand other people's position especially when they are being realistic,abeg in the real world and a scenario like the one here,many men would go sign that contract and come back to their wives,it doesn't make then less of a real man and yes if I'm ill and my husband gets a call,as long as he is not the doctor treating me and has made all necessary arrangement to ensure that all goes well,all he has to do is tell me he loves me,I'll be well for him and he'll be right back,then he's free to go sign that contract and bring back the dough to mama,it doesn't mean money is more important than me or money means everything to me,knowing he loves me and is working hard to keep me comfortable by going to sign that deal is okay,his absence for a couple of minutes or hours at the hospital changes nada.
[color=#000030]^^^
Good for you then! I still have my values. . . Keep yours!
[/color]
Jokes Etc › Re: Men Vs Women Gender Jokes. . . by Killz3(m): 3:48pm On Jan 31, 2012
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 3:39pm On Jan 31, 2012
freecocoa:
Seriously killz as intelligent as you might be,you need to realize that you can't always be right,I'm not talking about the wedding scenario here now but the c-section,though I didn't read everything you and OP is arguing about but how can you say that the wise thing to do is stay with your wife at the time of operation than go sign a contract worth 20 mill which would probably not take upto an hour?

For crying out loud what will you be doing in the hospital while your wife is in the theatre under anesthesia?she wouldn't even know you are there and you'd forgo that amount of money for what reason exactly?
[
[color=#000030]Where did i claim i'm always right? I dont know how you guys bring up trumped up claims about me, especially if i dont agree with the topic! If your husband will leave you and go sign a contract, fine and good for both of you! I wont do that, and that's me! Money doesnt mean everything to me. Will you also blame me for money meaning everything to you and your husband?. . . I guess not![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 3:34pm On Jan 31, 2012
Must you always recycle your layman's English? Why do i keep having this urge to give your Neonatal hypothyroidism infected face, suffering from acute albinism trait, a dirty back hand slap?

Over time, your posts keep reechoing one thing,which is; You are so so dumb and thrives on false pretense. People like you keep portraying the present generation of Nigerian men as an intellectually backward people, whose reawakening bogus puritanism is as grotesque and as ludicrously absurd as its pretentious eremitic insensitivity.

You are not only pathetic, you are way, way out of tune with modern realities, and for that, you need to be deported to your ancestral root, Mogadishu.

BTW, take that pix of yourself off, your complexion, sorry, your colour look so much like 'Banga Soup'. Heediot!
[color=#000030]Typical reply of an Idi[i]o[/i]t!

You have seen that your threads topic and post doesnt make sense, you cant defend the rubbish you posted, then your defense is to face Killz, like all idi[i]o[/i]ts on this forum do!
Killz is an albino, killz pix, killz complexion, killz colour! You are a what? A FOOL! What has my color and picture have to do with what we are discussing? Erectile dysfunctional dimwitted motherfuccker! Have you run out of points? You now want to discuss Killz color and his picture, and no longer 20 million Naira, and how you can shoot your mother for 20 million Naira? Besides, what are you doing stalking my profile, and my profile pic? Can you see why you are a fool?
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Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 3:26pm On Jan 31, 2012
killz-If the call doesn't come in of course life goes on,the man is unable to discharge his wife and runs around friends and relatives trying to raise a bit of money.

   My Father is a doctor,This happens all the time.
[color=#000030]Good, now we are getting somewhere! You rightly said that if the 20million Naira call doesnt come, life goes on! So, we can both agree that with or without an extra 20 million, life goes on. Therefore, if i decide to fcck the contract, life goes on!

How many men has died as a result of running around trying to raise a bit of money? In the end, dont they discharge their wives? In the end, everything turns out well, no?
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Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:55pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]^^
Non Taken!
[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:49pm On Jan 31, 2012
DaShyGuy:
And for reading and posting on a WTF thread of the day, makes you the biggest loser in all of these.

Someone need to tear off your right hand and beat you to death with it.
Somali guy, did you miss your flight? Can't you see for every post you make, one of your brain cells malfunctions? Soon you'll be a m.oron if you continue in this low rate of comprehension.
[color=#000030]You are a  noncomprehending discombobulated nincompoop! You saw a bloody unfathomable joke, and decided to post it without giving careful thoughts and considerations about it! So in your absolute selfishness and stupidity, you stand your wedding, your bride to be, your parents, your inlaws, your friends, guests that came from far and wide, everyone that has ever meant anything to you in your life, down for 20 million Naira, with the common poor man poverty stricken misconception, that they should understand, because 20 million Naira is involved? You are a what? A FOOL! I'm sure also, that if your house is on fire with your wife and kids inside, and someone calls you for a 100 million Naira contract, you'll leave your wife and children inside the burning building, head to abuja and sign the contract abi? Afterall, your unused brand new shiny brain will tell you that you can always re marry, abi? Dumb phock![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:42pm On Jan 31, 2012
larikky:
@killz

  1.Your presence doesn't mean your wife and baby will be safe_you will really be doing nothing in that ward.

  2.Should the grown up man refuse to wheel his wife into the ward just cos he doesn't have money?---He would wheel his wife into the theater and hope on dumb luck to pay the bills except in your opinion he should let her and the baby die OR he would travel and go get the contract.
[color=#000030]Whether they'll be safe or not will come later! Being there is more important. So i am there and a call comes in for a 20 million contract, and you expect me to leave? Because?. . .

2. If your wife is going to have a C- Section, a good doctor would have informed you prior to that time, and you'll have made necessary arrangements. Stop thinking that it's the 20 million that will save you! You are a man, you should have a plan B! In real life, You dont wait for an action to begin before you plan towards it! What if that call doesnt come in? Would you have known?

I hate these unfathomable scenarios!
[/color]
Romance › Re: American Babes Will Trip For Me Wen I Enter Yankee by Killz3(m): 2:25pm On Jan 31, 2012
Van snickers:
@ op
Guy, must you post another persons pic, where I come fromwhich is Nigeria impersonation is a Crime.
Next time, post your own Pic.
https://a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/118/bef2458fef299d4a79d4a6137d2f5bd7/l.jpg

P.S. I found who stole your Visa.
https://a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/75/7ab99456202b5ae95ea0753297a37117/l.jpg
[color=#000030]Lefu na thief na[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:20pm On Jan 31, 2012
Nj girl:
@skillz what if he cant afford to pay 4 d c-section and d twenty million naira is his only hope. My only problem wt d posters response to jaybees question is the way he answered it like missing his wifes surgery aint a big decision.
He cant make ends meet, if any complication arises from d c-section he would sure need d twenty mill.
D only scenario where he wld be putting 20 ml abov his wifes lyf is if armed robbers attack them and are lyk 'ur wifes lyf or ur money' and he goes 'shoot my wife leave my money'.
[color=#000030]Now what was his plan before the C-Section came up? Are you honestly asking me to believe that a grown arsed man, would wheel his wife into an operating theater hoping on dumb luck to provide him money so he can make ends meet? Where tha hell does that happen, except in Nollywood?[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:16pm On Jan 31, 2012
La Parisienne:
I've read this dumb joke over a million times, it's like a broken record.


@OP
Congrats , your thread is wtf thread of the day!!!
[color=#000030]I dont know why people have a hard time to differentiate realistic scenarios, from trumped up inconceivable 4WD bullshit! Nollywood wont even come up with such ballistic reasoning! It's absolute absurdity![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:13pm On Jan 31, 2012
larikky:
Of course killz,you ld abandon the contract and be with 'the one you love' all through the C-section and even dance around when it is successful then later realize that you neither have the money to pay for her discharge nor for the medication that should follow,talk less of the food she needs to regain her strength.

   But none of these actually matters cos u are with the one you love right?!grow up.
[color=#000030]Hellloooo! If my abandoning the fccking contract means that her and my baby are safe, then by all means fcck the contract! Damn! I've witnessed this particular scenario in real life, and 25million was at stake! There are more beautiful things to life than money, and what money could bring![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:10pm On Jan 31, 2012
DaShyGuy:
You need to be stripped of your position as a moderator. There's a 'Maurice Iwu' syndrome flowing in your veins.

Whoever said the contractor was poor in the first place? Besides,must one be rich to win a contract? The wife of a colleague of mine in the office, made a bid to paint the building of a govt. owned establishment in Abuja. She won the bid and was awarded the contract for N5m. Just to paint a one-storey building. She wasn't rich. Damn, u a moderator? I totally and finally give up.
[color=#000030]You are a fool! Because he is a mod, he should think with his arse just like you are doing? Slap yourself for thinking like a new born baby goat![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 2:07pm On Jan 31, 2012
jay bee:
C-section is not necessarily always an emergency admission method
Could be elective admission method meaning they planned to have the baby that way.
Anyone planning to have a baby via C-section ain't poor even if 20M is big money to them.

If I'm able to get a contract worth 20 mill then surely their is nothing stopping me from getting another one if the first offer doesn't go as planned.
People should never limit themselves or attach every occurrence in their life to a one chance luck. Make your own luck. Hard work that got you the first offer will always get you another one.

People get married with the hope of doing it ones as it's usually the best day in their lives hence the reason why they go all out. Leaving/abandoning that because of money should never be a way to go.


[size=15pt]So many if's and buts and in real life a poor man in naij wouldn't necessarily get a 20M contract offer so the scenario is somewhat whack as sexkills has been hammering all along.[/size]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 1:28pm On Jan 31, 2012
freecocoa:
Err mm excuse me,I never said money is everything so I don't get where "sorry if you don't see life that way" is coming from. I'm just saying you make 20 million sound like 20 naira note everyone carries about,besides I don't even see where someone's life comes into the pix here,is the wife to be dying? I thought its about canceling or postponing a wedding for a contract,so what the hell are you on about here?
[color=#000030]Like i said earlier, When it comes to choosing over the one i Love, even 100 million becomes common! But on level grounds, 20 million is not common! When it comes to life and death decisions, i know where my loyalty lies. . . And that's with the one i love. . .[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 1:22pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]Everyone should get me straight! The OP's wedding scenario is bullshit! I'm not even commenting based on that! i'm commenting based on when Jaybee asked him "What if your wife was having your first child via C-section and the contract offer scenario was on the table? would you still go for money over common sense?" He answered MONEY! And that is why i'm commenting! As for the wedding scenario, count me out of such inconceivable bullshit![/color]
Romance › Re: Can Anyone Help? Difference Between Love & Emotion by Killz3(m): 1:01pm On Jan 31, 2012
[color=#000030]Love is feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a friend, for a parent or child, warm fondness or liking for another, that strong or passionate affection for a person of the opposite sex that constitutes the emotional incentive to marrying the person! It's an emotion like fear, anger etc. . .[/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 12:55pm On Jan 31, 2012
GBAM
[size=14pt]No one has answered the question of what happens if the contract is signed and you aren't able to enjoy the money because you are six feet under.[/size]
[color=#000030]Bro, that's because in DREAMLAND, nobody dies! The scenario and responses is typical of what we call "Sweet Dreams!" grin grin

And also, people think life is a one way street! They never consider the other angle to matters! Money Money Money!
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Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 12:47pm On Jan 31, 2012
freecocoa:
Killz I don't care what the argument is but quit calling 20 million "common" cos its not,many people here including you and I have never seen 20 mill cash before.
[color=#000030]When it comes to choosing over the one i Love, 100 million becomes common! Have you not heard when someone says "I'll pay ANYTHING, just save her life" Money is not everything. . . Sorry if you dont see life that way![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 12:42pm On Jan 31, 2012
larikky:
@~Killz~
    You obviously dont live in the real world or you would know that many people live in dire poverty and have no choice but to either marry in poverty or remain single all their life.
[color=#000030]I live in the real world where "Commonsense" holds sway! I'm yet to see anyone that died as a result of using commonsense![/color]
Romance › Re: How Do U Handle An Issue As Complex As This? by Killz3(m): 12:38pm On Jan 31, 2012
[quote author=lady s. link=topic=859269.msg10088265#msg10088265 date=1328009575]i am surprise at  what pple post, who say they cant ask you to sign a document on weekends, some bankers goes to work on weekends. There was a girl that wrote NNPC APTITUDE TEST on her wedding day. This is a test that over 5million appilicants, so she is not certain of getting the job but she forfiet her wedding for it. This is a contract worth 20m, o boy i will go and sign it sharp sharp. afterall he is a poor guy so i except pple like him to attend the wedding meaning they will also be late because the will rush down to there bizes b4 coming. Just get the next available flight, can the pple and let they know today is ur day, so they need to make it fast. let ur bestman rush down to a business center and book a flight. Lagos to Abuja is Jus 45mins.[/quote][color=#000030]Bullshit! Things dont work this way except in DREAM LAND! Now, the lady you gave her example, did she travel to abuja, or was it in her state of residence? Shiny brain! I did not see where you wrote about lagos traffic and how to weave it!. . . Scenario is inconceivable, and a bloody waste of time![/color]

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