Pretyangel25: Iyammi!!! *singing etit ifuoh eka eno enye edi ami*

Idiok etok ayen

following

RIP to the dead
My condolence to the survivers and relatives
God punish una to the active n covert perpatrators

Rice is used for almost all celebrations....not only christmas.

WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and
a note explaining that you think he could stand to
lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write
him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away
for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your
plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with
exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens
when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a
bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait
until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the
roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas,"
and "Go away Santa."
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that
Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick
up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes
down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the
strippers arrive.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it.
As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him
that he shouldn't have missed that last payment,
and take off.
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk
out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. "
Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and
a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note
that says, "For Santa."

Dirty Johnny climbs onto Santa’s
lap at the department store. Santa
says, "I’ll bet I know what you want
for Christmas." And with his index
finger he taps the boy on the nose
with every letter he spells, "T-O-Y-
S."
The little boy answers, "No, I have
enough toys."
Santa tries again, tapping Johnny’s
nose with every letter, "C-A-N-D-
Y."
Again, Johnny says, "No, I have all
kinds of candy."
"Well, what would you like for
Christmas?" Santa asks.
Johnny replies, tapping Santa on the
nose, "P-U-S-S-Y. And don’t tell
me you don’t have any because I
can smell it on your finger!"

Santa went down the Chimney and
started putting presents under the
tree.
He went to leave and noticed the
most beautiful red headed women
laying there in her naughty nighties,
She said santa do you wanna stay
and play,
He said HO HO HO Gotta go Gotta
Go gotta deliver presents to the kids
Ho HO.
So he went to leave again and She
said once more,
"Santa dont you want to stay and
play" as she took off her nighties
and was layin there in a sexxy g-
string,
He said Ho Ho HO gotta go gotta go
gotta deliver presents to the kids
dont you know ho ho,
So he went to leave one last time
and the women said again,
"Santa stay and play" and when he
turned around she was laying there
completely naked,
The most beautiful thing in the world
spread eagle,
He said hey hey hey gotta stay
gotta stay, cant go up the chimney
with my pecker this way!

keep it coming

Q: What do you call an elf who
sings?
A: a wrapper!

Q: Why is Christmas just like
your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat
guy with the suit gets all the
credit.

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all
the naughty girls live.

Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any
kids?
A: He only comes once a year.

Q: Whats the difference between
the Christmas alphabet and the
ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has
Noel.

Q: What do you call people who
are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: Why the Christmas tree can’t
stand up?

A: It doesn’t have legs.
What do you call an obnoxious
reindeer?
RUDEolph.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper
depressed?
A: Because he had low elf
esteem.

What do you call a can wearing
a Christmas hat?
A Merry Can (American)

Q: What's the difference
between snowmen and
snowladies?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What nationality is Santa
Claus?
A: North Polish.

What do you call a kid who
doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

Q: How does a Jew celebrate
Christmas?
A: He installs a parking meter on
the roof.

Q: What do you call Santa's
helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses

The 4 stages of life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus

2. You don’t believe in Santa
Claus


3. You dress up as Santa Claus

4. You look like Santa Claus

Remember, Christmas isn't
about how big the tree is, or
what's under it. It's about who's
around it

I never believed in Santa Claus
because I knew no white dude
would come into my
neighborhood after dark.

For Christmas I want Santa’s list
of naughty girls.

There is a special place in hell
for people that play Christmas
music before Thanksgiving.

Is anyone else waiting until
December 22nd to Christmas
shop? Just in case the Mayans
were right?

Last year, I asked Santa for the
sexiest person ever for
Christmas. I woke up in a box.

The awkward moment when
Santa Claus has the same
wrapping paper as your parents.

A song told me to Deck the
Halls...so I did. Mr.and Mrs. Hall
are not very happy.

Dear Santa, I was framed.

This holiday season, in lieu of
gifts, I've decided to give
everyone my opinion.

I try to be unusually kind and
compassionate to those around
me during the Holidays, because
I never know who will end up
being my Secret Santa.

Good list, since FFK is there i see no reason why GEJ is missing.Especially on nairaland he has been at the end of many insults from myopic cyber critics

op, where the of the pix of the blah spot?

This picx looks funny. Its obvious words like endangered, conservation and the likes dnt exist in that part of the world

The shyte just hit d standing fan

mayorall:


They are just like the niger-delta militants, they have different camps and commanders and a superior commander.

They are noting like d Niger Delta Militants

Its noting strange..... the young testosterone filled guy had probably been oogling ur behind all the while he was at ur house. Since he cud not phuck, finger, or lick ur punnany, the closest tin was to get a feel of u from sniffing ur undies. I wont be suprised if he had peeped tru ur keyhole while u were having ur bath.
*i was once young also*

Punnies are all d same....... but boobies!
*faints at the thought*

God bless the land of my birth!

Ikpa ekpu chopping uwem to the fullest!

With dat kinda weather!!!!

Laff wan kill me die!

iterator25: See what a Nigerian girl used her brain to sculpt ..

SMH

I ll bet a million dat this is how dat guy started also

Foork me!!!

Dats etighi dance, not kukere.
unek ukan nnyin ke do.

U can say dat again

MTN Losses Almost Half Of
Its Subscribbers To Mobile
Number Portability Scheme
According to the Director of
Public Affairs of the Nigerian
Communications Commission
(NCC), Mr Tony Ojobo, almost
half of MTN subscribers
switched to other networks
during the recently introduced
Mobile Number Portability
(MNP) scheme.
According to figures released by
Mr Ojobo, MTN topped the losers
table among an overall number
of subscribers that switched
service providers in the telecoms
market with 49%; followed by
Globacom with 23%,Airtel with
17%; while Etisalat came last on
the losers’ table with 11%.
Which means Etisalat emerged
top in the number porting
scheme among the telecoms
company

Leader Of Boko Haram Faction In Official
Talks With The Nigerian Gov't Claims
Responsibility For Deadly Kano Bombings,
Says Abubakar Shekau Still Alive
By SaharaReporters
A leader of the Boko haram faction that
has been in negotiations with the Nigerian
government appointed "Amnesty
Committee " headed by a government
minister yesterday declared that his team
carried out the deadly Kano bombings that
killed over 40 people in the Sabo-Gari area
of the Kano.
The new leader, Mohammed Marwana
released an audio message obtained by
Saharareporters. Mr. Marwana's assertions
in the audio yesterday added a new twist
to the controversy surrounding the
authenticity of the faction of the islamist
militant group in talks with the federal
government and recent claims that the old
leader of the groups was deposedafter he
was shot.
Speaking in Hausa language, Marwana said
the Kano bombingswas carried out to
prove that he is the authentic leader of the
sect because people continue to doubthim
and his group of negotiators.
“I personally instructed the attack in Kano
to prove to the world that,I am the real
leader of Boko Haram because there have
been retrogressive forces on the issue of
dialogue, who kept doubting my leadership
in the sect. I told them ahead that there
will be attack, and it has happened. It is
awarning, and we need to say again that
we carried out the attacks in Kano”, he
said.
The man who claimed to have been
appointed leader of the sect debunked
speculations that the globally known leader
of the sect, Imam Abubakar Shekau is
dead. Marwana stated that Shekau is alive
and that nothing has happened to him
except that he lost leadership of the sect.
Speaking further in the audio message, he
stated, “Shekau is alive contrary to
speculations, except that he lost leadership
of the sect. I will not tell you where he is,
but he is alive, and we talked with him not
up to three hours ago, except if he died
whileI am talking.”
There has been controversy regarding
authenticity of Marwana as a member of
the sect and its leadership, as he was
recently dismissed by Imam Shekau in a
Youtube video after he claimed that the
sect had agreed to cease-fire with Nigerian
government.
Other credible sources in the know about
Boko Haram activitiesin Borno and Yobe
States expressed doubts over
Marwana'sclaim to leadership of the sect.
In separate interiews, our sources
described Marwana as a stage-managed
Boko Haram figure created by government
officials to siphon off millions of dollars
designated for ending.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=619313641423119&id=280867261934427&refid=7&_ft_=qid.5908737369966760564%3Amf_story_key.-5678607466525415979

Cant wait for 'yawning' to come into fashion!