₦airaland Forum

Glimpsetv:
➜A woman shared a video showing how she used her young son as her makeup model, and it has stirred mixed reactions online. After the makeover, the boy looked completely different — he no longer appeared like a boy but rather like a girl. While some viewers were amazed by the impressive transformation, others didn’t find it funny at all.
Do you think she did anything wrong, or are people just overreacting? Watch the video and share your thoughts in the comments.

🤣🤣🤣She does have great makeup skills.

How in the world did the boy "appear like a boy" in the first picture when there are so many girls who have the same look at that age? Mama should teach her son makeup application skills(if the boy is interested) so he can at least have this one skill to boast of.

ReacherSaidNoth:
This is silly reasoning. Men falling or not falling for the antics of bad women does not make the action of those women free from judgement. This is like saying victims of robbery are foolish and the robbers themselves have done no evil.

She is a bad woman for doing what many men do to women and have, on the most part, been able to get away with, without judgment?

APOPTOSIS:
Women are smarter when it comes to lifetime choices. Even the poorest and least Educated girl will go for the best man. It's innate. They make everything transactional.
However, men are the prize yet they fail to use it

. Women do not make everything transactional. They are not responsible for the transactional nature of things and romantic relationships. Rather, society as designed by men is transactional, forcing women to needing to adopt the transactional model to survive.

parags:
✓ I was referring to yoruba culture ma

You were? .
Look...it is about time you all buried that "My culture is better than yours" flag because not a single culture in that entire country respects children and women. 🥱🥱🥱

Yoruba culture is just as deplorable as igbo and Hausa culture when it comes to respecting of women's and children's rights. 🥱🥱🥱

parags:
✓ Is this about yoruba culture or igbo culture ? Your submission is not submitting .

Igbo culture, of course! 🥱🥱🥱

frank317:
✓ if to people are in a relationship there is an agreement thats why they are together... when men start treating you ladies like u are saying you will be crying all over the place. a man and a woman come togther, tell themselves they are in love, and start doing nice things to each other to show their love, and the girl goes about sleeping with other persons and u are justifying it and blaming the man... what kind of thinking is this?

I don't know what you intended for me to do with this rant of yours.

Again, the giving of gifts and doing of favors DOES NOT grant you access to a person's life. If a commitment is what you desire, then enter into a contractual relationship that clearly defines said commitment.

brain54:
✓ Gaining access to another adult through gifts ...
Or what I term emotional bribery or blackmail is different from building a partner or helping them grow by paying their school fees for example. I don't see anything wrong in helping someone you are in a relationship grow to be better in whatever way.
✓ And let's try and be practical here do you go about signing a contratual agreement with everyone you decide to be in a relationship with?
✓They is nothing wrong in trusting someone that gives you their words to be committed to a relationship.
✓ Blame the defaulter for being dishonest rather!

There is nothing wrong with giving of gifts or helping to build someone. However, there is everything wrong is assuming that this giving of gifts should grant one access to the lives of those who receive these gifts/help.

2. Yes! Making a commitment to someone either to be a boyfriend or husband is a contractual agreement

3. There is everything wrong with it since the trust you can have has to be as defined by the terms and conditions of the contract you have with said person and not your whims. So, long as you are in a relationship with a human being, your safety and protection should remain primarily your own responsibility. It is never OK to throw caution to the wind.

4. How can a person be said to be in default when there is no clear evidence of him/her defaulting?

brain54:
Whats foolish about trusting someone and having an agreement with them...?

It's foolish for an adult to think he/she should gain access to the life of another adult through the giving of gifts and not through the signing of a solid contract that grants some clearly defined access. Without a defined contract, your so-called trust is built on air

Almunjid:
➜Take your time before replying—read and fully understand the conversation first. It seems you’ve lost track of our discussion. Everything I’ve written has been directly related to our topic. Let me remind you: our conversation began with polygamous marriages and the “baby mama” phenomenon. You clearly stated that polygamy hasn’t addressed any substantial problems in society, just as baby mama culture has not. I then offered a comparative analysis of both issues and concluded that, although polygamy has its disadvantages, it is far better than the baby mama trend. We’re dealing with two serious problems now, and if caution isn’t taken, the baby mama phenomenon will destroy the institution of marriage and create societal issues that polygamy could not cause in a thousand years.
I’ve known you for years as a critic on Nairaland, especially on topics concerning women. I understand that a rough childhood might have shaped some of your opinions or behaviors, but criticism alone is not a solution. You can’t keep offering negative commentary on issues you may not fully understand; instead, why not study them in depth and offer constructive solutions? I agree that polygamy cannot resolve all the societal problems caused by the baby mama trend and other Western influences, and vice versa—the baby mama lifestyle isn’t a solution to the issues arising from polygamy and related cultural practices. Instead of focusing on criticism, let’s work towards proposing solutions that can address one or both of these problems. That’s a more productive place to start. What do you think?

This epistle here is riddled with so many assumptions that are meaningless to this topic.

Fejoku:
➜To answer a question properly, one has to understand it clearly. The report says the percentage of children living with both parents. Both parents in this case means the same father and mother. It doesn't include a mix home of one divorcee or two divorcees. It is strictly a normal nuclear family setting. Going by this, some almajiris still tick the box because although, they maybe far away from their homes and are treated as homeless boys, it isn't really so for all of them. Some do visit their parents homes mostly polygamous but nonetheless, their own homes with both parents.
➜ Another twist is that the high divorce rate in the NW is compensated for by government sponsored marriage that pushes those divorced women into another marriage and give the new children the opportunity to stay with both parents. This helps to reduce the instances of single parenthood that is now the new norm in most liberal countries and cultures.
➜ Finally, that some kids don't live with their parents from the same home doesn't affect the stats if their siblings remain with the parents in their home. Therefore, the main focus here is based in single parenthood and high divorce rate without remarrying.
➜ Any culture where women seek so much independence through divorce and incidents of high teenage pregnancies will perform poorly in this category.

The high divorce rates recorded in the Northern states, coupled with the death rate(death tolls due to terrorism included) make this reasoning of yours severely lacking.

2. Forcing about 1000 - 4000 women a year into marriages—against their will— each year cannot be said to adequately compensate for or erase the over 10 thousand women(including those formerly married to divorcees or widowers) who find themselves out of marriage each year. I have always known that the tradition has been an attempt to hide baby mamas in the North, but it still falls short each year in doing so. So, no, this does not explain away the errors in the numbers reported in the OP.

Also, if you visit your earlier comment, you will find that children forced into these sorts of unions cannot be counted as living with same father, same mother. So, are you attempting to throw that out at this point?

3. This assertion of yours makes no sense. If 2 children are rendered homeless by their parents, what does it matter to them and their existence that a sibling of theirs has yet to be rendered homeless by the same parents? No sense at all!

4. Culture is a delusion that only makes sense when the society that holds to it is said to be thriving. Northern Nigeria has not been thriving for a long time. This clearly means the northern cultures have produced little to no benefit for the people in the north for the longest. So, let's stop trying to wave the now-useless "Our culture is better than others" flag and focus instead on the topic.

Almunjid:
➜Lol, nice one. I can't copy this without contradicting myself. Honestly, both polygamy and the “baby mama” phenomenon are viewed as problems by many. Polygamy—an aspect of our culture that women may find difficult to accept—and baby mama culture, which is influenced by Western lifestyles, both have their drawbacks. However, if we are being truly honest, polygamy, despite its challenges, is still preferable to the baby mama trend.
In polygamous marriages, especially within Islam, a man is obligated to treat all his wives equally, providing for their food, clothing, shelter, and other needs. Anyone unable to maintain this fairness is not permitted to marry more than one wife. Through this equality in Islamic polygamy, every child receives adequate time, attention, care, and support from their father, which helps prevent the psychological harm often associated with single parenting.
In contrast, the baby mama lifestyle is fundamentally unfair to the child involved. The father tends to focus his resources, attention, and emotional support on his wife and her children, while neglecting the child from another relationship. Sending money (child support) cannot substitute for active parenting. Visiting occasionally is not proper upbringing. Baby mama culture benefits one party—the wife or current girlfriend—while causing hardship to the baby mama and her child. The mother is left to juggle both roles, inevitably falling short, just as the saying goes: “Jack of all trades, master of none.” One hand alone cannot accomplish what requires two.
When Islam was introduced, Arabs practiced polygamy with numerous wives—sometimes more than ten—and many children. Islam established a limit (four wives), setting clear guidelines for equal treatment and sharing of resources, which can be difficult even with just four wives. A man must divide his time and resources equally, ensuring that all wives are treated fairly, with no favoritism.
I understand you are not an advocate of polygamy, but if we are honest, in choosing the lesser evil, polygamy is a better option. It does have disadvantages, but it is not as harmful as the baby mama lifestyle, which is rapidly undermining our society. If things continue this way, women may soon be searching in vain for polygamous marriages, as the institution of marriage itself teeters on the brink of extinction—mainly due to the baby mama trend and similar Western influences. Despite being practiced for thousands of years in Africa, polygamy did not destroy our society or families as rapidly as these new lifestyles are doing.

This epistle here is riddled with so many assumptions that are meaningless to this topic.

As I already stated, Babymama-ism is a symptom of problems within society, and polygamy has never served as a solution to any of the identified problems in society to date. Yes, polygamy serves the selfish desires of men, but it does not provide or guarantee a safe environment for the nurturing of children in much the same way that babymama-ism does not.

Almunjid:
➜Baby Mama does not, or should I say, has not solved any tangible problems in society, particularly where it applies to children (the subject of this thread), even up in the South. \
➜So, again, I ask, what does it matter that polygamy may not be acceptable in the South, but that does not mean what is obtainable in the South is any more wholesome or healthier.

Babymama-ism is a symptom of a problem in the society, not a solution. However, earlier, you had suggested polygamy as some sort of solution to a problem in society, when in reality it had not been shown to, in fact, solve any tangible problem in any society to date.

2. Again, it matters primarily because you suggested polygamy as though a solution to a tangible problem in society when, to date, it has never presented itself as a reasonable solution to any problem; Northern Nigeria is in no way or shape better than Southern Nigeria because of the prevalence of polygamy up there, so why mention it at all?

Almunjid:
➜Polygamy may not be acceptable in the South, but that does not mean what is obtainable in the South is any more wholesome or healthier.

Polygamy does not, or should I say, has not solved any tangible problems in society, particularly where it applies to children(the subject of this thread), even up in the North. So, again, I ask, what does it matter that single motherhood may not be acceptable in the North, but that does not mean what is obtainable in the North is any more wholesome or healthier.

Almunjid:
➜While baby mama is more acceptable in the South.. it's not down North....

It may not be acceptable in the North, but that does not mean what is obtainable in the North is any more wholesome or healthier.

MarkNsukkaBread:
➜I don't know where you studied your own law but what I know is that when a tenant repeatedly defaults on rent it can be taken as a vitiating element which automatically terminates the tenancy agreement.
Stop giving false hope to habitual rent defaulters!

This usually depends on the contract signed at the time of the lease by the tenant. For example, if it is not specified in the lease document that defaulting on rent serves as a mitigating reason for termination, it becomes hard for a landlord to prove in court that it should be considered so.

These clauses are typically not assumed but clearly specified for them to take effect. So, yes, OP is sort of right that your landlord has no right to destroy your property unless you, the tenant, specifically agree to such treatment should you default on your rent.

stuffs2002:
➜You talk about the spec in someone else's eye while ignoring the log in your eyes.
➜ Area boys full under bridge right under your nose but you will only see Almajiris from other r

. This discussion is literally about the inaccuracy of claims made in the OP, and not about the specs in anyone's eyes, including mine.

2. Area boys in much of southern Nigeria — east and west—are mostly runaway children, orphans, and abandoned children. How does any of that compare to the Almajiri system? As you are attempting to draw a parallel between the two groups, are you insinuating that you admit that Almajiris are mostly also runaways, orphans, and abandoned children as well?

parags:
Personally I think toxic feminism and social media made things worse for SW women . Culturally the women are empowered . Western agenda made them seek more power thus becoming unbearable . A LOT of yoruba men are not marrying yoruba girls. I know because most of my friends are not married to yoruba women. They would rather marry igbo or northern girls because they have more cultural ideals that favour marriages . Even the igbo women and other trips love yoruba men because our culture respects women alot

A culture that literally denies a woman the right to inherit both her father's and her marital communal wealth is one that respects women? What a joke!

Chachalogo:
> Same way the parents of those almajeris had their reasons for sending them for almajeranchi.
> Same way you returned home during holidays, those almajeris do visit home at set times. And their parents too do visit.
> Same way you finally returned home after your O'level, those almajeris do return home, except for those whose will choose to stay back and start up something for themselves. I knew an almajeri in my area back in the days in Kano. He didn't return home. He began the of business firewood untill he became very established. He later married a neighbour of ours.
> Lastly, I'm not trying hard to ignore the real issue. I have my reservation against the almajeri system and that is the fact that the parents ain't doing their utmost in fending for their children. I condemn their actions.

1. There is nothing same about the reasons why the Almajiri parents and my parents, you know why?
➜False! I was 11 and old enough to give my consent to being sent off to a boarding school; a 2-6-year-old child does not know enough about what boarding school is to give the same sort of consent that I did. A 2-6-year-old does not have enough in their brains to fully consent to having the bulk of the responsibility for their livelihood placed solely on their backs, something the Almajiri system forces on these young ones. A 2-6-year-old does not have the know-how to realize and understand how utterly traumatizing this world really is; that even their very parents can be responsible for the bulk of the trauma and misery that is their life, something that is 99% the case with children thrown into the Almajiri system.
➜Recall that I mentioned that my feeding, my housing, my developmental/healthcare needs, my pocket money, everything was 100% funded by my parents. Something Almajiris cannot speak of.
In essence, what I am trying to get you to see here is that there was really no final return since I never ceased, at any point during that entire training period, to be the full-time responsibility of my parents. My parents were involved in all regular aspects of my life and training throughout those years. This is something that is missing from the lives of the Almajiris.
➜ I returned home every holiday, and many times I was sick from school. Again, I spent at least 4 months of each year at home— in a year, I returned home at least 8 times. My parents visited me at school approximately 4 times out of each school year, and during special programs with provisions and money. I was in constant communication with them— via letters and phone — throughout my time away, so they were actively involved in my life throughout that time that my completion of my education at that particular academy was not really a final returning home, but merely a transition from one home to another.

There is no reasonable way in the world you can compare the regular boarding school treatment a non-Almajiri child gets with the Almajiri system of things.

2. Again, having reservations does not exclude you from making realistic comparisons at all points, something you continue to avoid doing even after my pointing out severally times that you are still not doing that.

Chachalogo:
➜I cannot deny the salient point you raised in your 2nd paragraph. It is very obvious that the almajeris are not well fed, and it has become a major reason why they are easily recruited to flag off crisis.

The issue with feeding has always been there. I grew up in the 70s/80s, and the Almajiris in Kano, Lagos, and also in Kwara back then were also mostly underfed. They were always a pitiful sight to behold when out and about. And that question has always been, why do these parents think or accept that it is OK for them not to take full responsibility for their children?

You will never find the children of rich Northerners undergoing the same traumatic experiences, yet it is normalized behavior among Northern muslims to have the children of the poor endure such a humiliating existence from an early age in some attempt to strip them of desires and dreams bigger than that which they were born into. It seems more like a system designed to mentally subdue these children from as early as age 2.

Chachalogo:
➜Sir, you can actually make your point without insults or throwing jibes and tantrums I believe.
Now let's go by your logic: Can you tell us why parents send their children to boarding schools far away from home when they can easily enroll them in schools very close to the house?
➜ Are you suggesting that parents who subscribe to the boarding school system are foolish?

There are different reasons why parents choose to do this. I was sent to a boarding school at age 11 myself, because I wanted to have the experience. My parents sent me there while maintaining full responsibility for me and my developmental education, feeding, housing, etc. And my being at the boarding school during the school term was a temporary arrangement — approximately 8 months out of each year(in the absence of sickness-related breaks.

2. Sending children to boarding schools is not the issue here. Stop trying so hard to ignore the real issue, which is the presence of parents in the lives of children, no matter where they are.

Chachalogo:
➜The almajeris are not responsible for their education par say. Their parents enrolled them. Got them an iron boxes with clothes. They have roofs over their heads.
➜ I forgot to add, the Mallams do serve them food just that they are not always satisfied with the portions coming from the Mallams, so they had to beg.

By education, I was in no way referring to the formal/religious education they get from the mallam at the Almajiri school.

2. Your post, and the reality of things out there, is all too obvious that these children are left to fend for themselves the vast majority of their days. Serving them occasionally means that cannot satisfy them means absolutely nothing in this.

Chachalogo:
➜You didn't understand me sir. I never said their parents pushed them away in order to avoid parental responsibilities. Rather, they were sent to go learn of their religious beliefs and doctrines.
➜ Please kindly answer this question: Is it right to conclude that a child has no parents or is a product of a broken home simply because he/she is sent far away from home to go learn?

1. Wrong! That is literally what parents do when they offshore responsibility for training, raising, and feeding their own children onto others whom they believe are more capable than themselves in one way or the other. As long as the parents are not actively involved in the raising and feeding of their children, they literally push the children off— a form of abandonment — on others to do the job for them.

2. It is right to conclude that a child is a product of a broken home/abandonment if you cannot prove that the parents of said child are actively and regularly responsible for the growth, development, and feeding of that child at any point in that child's development. For example, if a parent sends a child to a boarding school, which they regularly pay for, remains in communication with the child, and maintains full responsibility for fending for that child throughout the period, then we say that the child is not abandoned by the parent. However, if a parent literally offloads all of their duties and responsibilities onto the child — the child is regularly responsible for his feeding, his development, and care — then that child is an abandoned child, even if he knows where his parents and relatives live.

Many children abandoned on the streets of Nigeria know where their relatives and maybe even parents live. But that does not change the fact that they are abandoned.

Chachalogo:
I will answer your questions sir.
1. Yes they have parents at home.
If you noticed, the Yoruba tribe also do send their children on this same religious study. They send their children to go learn under a teacher known as Alfa. Not all children who are learning under an Alfa are from the host community. Some of them are from other towns, cities or states just like the Almajeris. The only difference is that the Alfas unlike the Mallams do not subscribe to street begging. Street begging has nothing to do with the religion in question. Street begging is a thing of choice.
2. Those children are not abandoned on the street. They're all camped in the homes of their respective Mallams. When I was in Kano, the Mallams do take roll call and this explains why an almajeri will avoid anything that will make him miss either the morning or evening recitation. Missing any or both will attract severe punishment. They go out to beg for food after the morning recitation and must return before the afternoon recitation. It is after the afternoon recitation that they're permitted to go out again to beg for food. They must return home before bed time. And lastly, yes their parents or family do visit them at the homes of their Mallams.

1. We could assume that the stats provided in the OP somewhat reflect this alfa system— a non-prevalent system in South Western Nigeria, by the way —, but surely the report on the Northern states DOES NOT reflect the prevalent— 10s of millions are currently on the streets both in Northern and Southern Nigeria — Almajiri subscription in the North.

2. Children literally responsible for their own education, developmental needs, and feeding are abandoned children.

Fear of losing the one shelter available to them is palpable from your submission. Imagine having to live as a young person with such evident fears. If you have ever been homeless as an adult, you would understand why the anxiety of losing the comfort of shelter is reason enough why many homeless people plan their lives around their shelter.

MrGerald:
➜It's not about single mother here but failed marriage, there's difference

Failed marriage? What is that? The official divorce rate in the North is above 50%. So, what has failed marriage to do with any of this?

NB. I am not attempting to make a case for those ranting against single mothers, since the major reason why those children do not equally have their fathers in the picture has a lot to do with the single fathers in those cases not feeling it is their duty to stay with their children at least. Yes, even after a divorce or parting, a father can legally obtain shared custody of his children if he so chooses.

Chachalogo:
➜Sir, the argument here is whether they're from existing homes or not. And by existing home I mean father and mother staying married together. I'm not in support of parents who not fending for their children's needs whom they sent on Almajeranchi.

The report instead claims that this is about children living with their parents.

Almajiris, according to you, are not children living with their parents but children whose parents offshored their responsibilities as parents to beggar-pimps as part of a system that literally has them abandoned to fend for themselves. That is not a system of children living with parents. Their having a father and mother somewhere DOES NOT negate the fact that these are, in fact, abandoned children we are talking of here, children who literally live like they have no mother or father in the picture.

GHoJes:
➜....How many years of their existence do they spend with their parents other than the less than 5yrs from birth before they are tossed into a world where they fend for themselves from childhood. Be fooling yourself there.

This here is the part that makes this system seriously depraved. They have fathers and mothers and a home, yet they spend much of their childhood roaming the streets, being used by one begging-love-vendor or another to milk unsuspecting citizens. And yet the statistic there reports them as children who live with both fathers and mothers, and not as children abandoned on the streets?

The bullsheet of the statistical claim is out of this world.

Chachalogo:
➜Sir, that they are Almajeris doesn't erase the fact they are from existing homes. They very much have their parents, except in some cases where a parent or both parents have passed on.
➜They only went on a study and will return home when they're done. They do visit home and their parents do visit them at set times.

So, these homeless children in northern states have parents at home who allow them to live homeless for extended periods?

2. Do parents visit children abandoned on the streets in many of the Northern states? We don't seem to be talking here of the same thing.

Chachalogo:
➜Sir yes. Almajeris live with their parents/family. Almajeranchi is synonymous with boarding school system where parents send their children to go learn far away from home, and then return during holidays. Almajeris do go home at set times to visit their families. I know this because I grew up in Kano and I had many of them as playmates.

So, the boarding schools pi_mp these children out every day while the parents of these kids get to be relieved of the responsibility of caring for them during that period? How is this any better than the children literally being orphaned?

Niwdog:
➜those almajiris go back to their parents after begging

Their parents are literally their begging-pimps? That explains a lot!

BlackViper:
🇳🇬CHILDREN LIVING WITH BOTH PARENTS — BY ZONE
% of Children:
North West — 80.3%
North East — 75.4%
North Central — 71.3%
South East — 62.2%
South South — 58.2%
South West — 58.2%
#Statisense
(NDHS 2025)

Where do the 10s of millions of Almajiris come from then? Are you telling us that all those kids live daily with their parents?

Jozilinn:
➜The said person must have told her boss who decided that she should go home while he might call her back,guess what it was all lies. At 2 weeks at work she was stealing his money,and his goods she even started begging him before he told her to go home. She's really a nuisance to me my sister who behaves like what I don't know has refused to send her back. As far as I'm concerned I won't say anything till they'll come and pick my sister up to the police station.
➜ She was the one that signed as her guarantor for the job, now she has gotten another job. She said my neighbour who got her the job will bear the consequences 🤣🤣. Please whose room is she staying? Now she's working in another sales work.
➜ She saw her period yesterday and was telling someone it has come over the phone,I have work this week till December outside.
I guess it's because I stay at home most times I get to see the real her, very uncouth and senseless girl who's always telling lies she can never say the truth. My sister would bear the consequences of her action alone.

Why was she not immediately bundled away to the police station from her workplace, though? Why would her oga let her go home when jail is where she ought to have been taken straight?

2. Why should they bear the consequences when the girl is an adult?

3. How old is this person?

brain54:
✓ To the end of getting them lost in the wilderness...

This means?