₦airaland Forum

oluseyiforjesus:
I don't know y my mind is telling me someone owing him huge amount of money did ds We are wicked in Africa......

Nonsense!

Tekashi89:
I'm kinda skinny I weigh about 60kg 180cm tall so does that show any sign of weakness

nothing wrong with being skinny.

WifeBeater:
➜60kg is quite small for a 25 year old man. But that can change. It's very possible to you to weigh close to 80kg by the end the year. Nevertheless, weakness, in this sense, is a factor of the strength of your character and decisiveness and not physicality.

There is nothing wrong with him weighing 60Kg which is more than many men can boast of. Go check all those Korean actors wey women dey like to google and many of those models on the fashion runway. Make una no dey make people feel like say something wrong with them.

Tekashi89:
➜Hey guys I'm a young guy of 25 and I recently noticed a problem about me, people tend to not listen to me or obey my instructions or listen to my topic of discussion. Note: I always listen to theirs and I always do what they say I.e as per friendship or relationship.
➜So it goes like this whenever I'm with a friend male or female and we're discussing and I bring up a topic they tend to act uninterested either by rolling up their eyes or bringing another topic to cover it. They'll always want to be the one initiating topics. And also whenever they have an event and they invite me over I attend but if I invite them they'll make up one or two excuses.
➜ Also if I have problems and I discuss it with any of them they'll just allow me talk with nothing meaningful as advise and they'll bring up other topics to cover it as if what I'm saying is not important.
➜ I even recently broke up with my girlfriend because she'll like to do things on her own terms not when I want but will want me to do things when she wants. If I talk to her she doesn't listen but will expect me to listen likewise my male friends.
➜ So I had to like distant myself from everybody now and I'm mostly alone whenever I'm not at work.
Note: people do things for me not because I ask or persist or insist but because it came from their mind. But I want people to do things for me because I asked them to So guys any advise on how I can work on it cause I can see the problem is not from them it's from me

1. WOW.... you wish for people to submit to you because you submit to them? Are you sure you are OK? 😏😏😏

2. You are with people whose interests do not align with yours. Stop trying to force yourself on others.

3. You can't force people who are uninterested in you to become interested just because you want it so.

4. Date someone who likes you and has something in common with you, not someone who is clearly not interested in what you are interested in.

5. Stop hanging with the wrong crowd! Wait for and patiently select people who are interested in you just as much as you are interested in them, and the things you like, and they also like. Also, it is OK to be alone for as long as it takes you to find those who are more compatible with you.

EnemyofGod3:
What happens after we die...?

From dust you, your entire body and mind, were made, and to dust you, your entire body and mind, will return.

legacystore:
➜I go lie for you

Eating meat everyday is not bad for your health. Your body requires about 60-80g of protein every day for adults.

legacystore:
➜Really not healthy, you are looking for health issue

Not true at all!

Jamestaiwo:
➜Rapture is not disappearance— What the Bible really says.
Many believe that the rapture will be a sudden disappearance of people from the earth. But what does Scripture really say?
In this powerful teaching, we explore the true meaning of the rapture, debunking myths and revealing biblical clarity about the return of Christ.
👀 Whether you’re curious, confused, or seeking truth — this video is for you!

Na dem scammers-in-the-lords go create the myths and na dem go come back claiming to debunk it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tekashi89:
➜So guys I've been hearing discussions of how patronizing ashawo house or oloshos brings bad luck and set back so guys how true is this what are your takes share your experiences

Lack of self discipline/weak self-control is a mental not a spiritual problem.

onuku:
➜I rest my case. Feeding is less than $1K, compared to someone that spends thousands a month on mortgage, car notes, insurances, property tax, kids sporting activities, utility taxes. The folks that live abroad will understand.

I live abroad, and your case is in no way unique here. Go to Nigerian churches and you will find couples who have hit the very same wall you are having to deal with now and are struggling with whether to continue as they have or adopt a more commonsense partnership instead.

onuku:
I believe every marriage is a partnership, and that’s how it should be.

Please stop lying! A person who submits to another individual IS NOT a partner but a subjugate in the relationship. You and I know this well so please stop lying to yourself at least.

onuku:
➜We both are from Imo state.
➜In this day and age; single income can't sustain an average household anymore.
➜All I am saying is that isn't she supposed to chip in the family expenses aside grocery. Here, 3 of the kids have their breakfast and lunch in their respective schools.
➜ Lastly, I am compelled to inform her parents of what's going on!

I know plenty of couples from that state who are abroad and are traditionally married and I know plenty of Nigerian couples from that same state who are not in traditional marriage arrangements where both the man and woman share in both the financial responsibilities for their households as well as the raising of kids and general household chores. So, please, don't give me the " I am from this or that" talk! Answer truthfully, please! Are you and your marriage married under the traditional model of marriage where you sit as the sole provider, enjoying the benefit of being god/master over your wife, while she is meant to submit wholly, raising the kids, and taking care of all household chores and so on?

2. Regardless of the day and age, the traditional marriage model stipulates that the man serves as the provider in the household while the woman is to submit— live as cook, nanny, house maid, sex partner, baby mama, shopper, etc.,—to him. If you wish for your wife to provide, then the reasonable thing for you to do would be to abandon the traditional idea entirely and renegotiate a partner who better serves both partners more fairly.

3. Well, if, again, your marriage is sealed under the traditional marriage model, the answer to your question would be no. She is not obligated to chip in. You have to understand that if her qualm is that she is meant to be a traditional wife in the arrangement, then she isn't in the wrong at all.

4. Omgosh! How could anyone in this day and age resort to such nonsense? Is she a child whom you should report to her parents? That statement is so disrespectful! 😳😳😳

Look, your wife has a reason, and she alone is the one you ought to be communicating with regarding the happenings in your household. You are abroad, at least learn from others how to communicate with your spouse, who you live with in the same house. Gosh! She is a grown arse woman who has had three kids with you — I am guessing —so, what is the bid deal? 😳😳😳

onuku:
➜The 15 years she didn't work was because of our young family. The oldest is 15 while the youngest is 7. Traditional or partnership has nothing to do with this.
➜ When she graduated from school; the arrangement was for her to work for 6 months and keep everything for herself. After the 6 month period, she will start chipping in.
➜ I even gave her a spreadsheet of our monthly expenses. Please just contribute your humbly advise.

1. If you are both Nigerians, it has a lot to do with it since most Nigerian women submit to their husbands with the expectation that he occupies the role of sole provider in the family.

2. Well, either your wife is not happy with the arrangement—you shoving a spreadsheet of the monthly expenses at her as well — or she is telling the truth when she says she does not have any money.

onuku:
➜I answered your questions to the best of my ability. I'm in my late 40s, and need to start planning for my retirement. By the way, she's a pharmacist, and we are based in abroad. Carrying all the bills alone is a disaster waiting to happen. She's a 'quiet' type and doesn't talk to me because of this.
➜She refused for us to see a counselor / therapist.

Huh? She is a pharmacist whose job requires her to talk all day to customers, but to you, she is a 'quiet' type and doesn't talk to you.

OK, you live abroad, but is your marriage arrangement with your wife a traditional one or a partnership where you both are supposed to share every role to an extent, or maybe equally?

2. Counselor/therapist for what purpose?

lordm:
Marriage can be confusing

Marriage is not confusing. It's lopsided situations, like that where one partner is meant to sacrifice only for the other to benefit, that lead to the confusion that many pretend is to be blamed on marriage.

anytexy:
Was it producing any before?

Help me ask o!

Caaz:
Sorry madam ....

You didn't do anything to me. Just making it clear that women who are caught under the weight of the traditional marriage arrangement should require a renegotiation of their marriage contract in the case that the sole provider is no longer capable of providing for the family under the former arrangement. The marriage agreement is a renegotiable agreement; there is no reason why a woman should willingly take on more roles than she is required to unless she wishes to overburden herself for reasons best known to her.

fabolouz1:
➜The way you write with authority baffles me.history needs to be made compulsory in our curriculum .

But he is right that your churches today have their roots in the Catholic system of churches.

Caaz:
➜my love,stop misleading women, you re in a sane country where things are working perfectly,the govt even offer shelter and free Meals.
➜ Now let us be realistic....this is nigeria, most family are struggling,
➜ i assist my husband,he didnt compared me, i do it just to ease the burden from him, because that's the essence of being married.
➜ This man has carried this(Billing)for 15yrs, it will not be out of place for his wife to assist with some bills,if she contribute the heavens will not fall.

1. So, because things are not working perfectly in Nigeria, we should not require that people proceed rationally in dealings with each other?

2. The realistic Traditional System of marriage in Nigeria insists that the man, in exchange for godhood in marriage over his woman, retain the position of sole provider to his family. It follows that should the man decide to step down from the position of sole provider, then he should rightly give up on some of the benefits he had previously enjoyed.

You may be OK with a life of suffering — carrying your weight and that of another on your head —, but not all women want that sort of suffering for themselves, and they are right to feel that way.

3. Traditionally, this man is supposed to carry that bill for the life of the marriage. Having his wife take on part of his role in the marriage without him giving up at least some of the benefits he enjoyed for over 15 years amounts to his wife losing out in the arrangement. That is unfair! A partnership arrangement should be followed up with a partnership agreement.

Caaz:
➜Please,pray,fast,talk to God on her behalf,look sexy she might change her mind. On a serious note,the way nigeria is going,wives that are working/doing businesses need to supportive their husbands.

Why should they be doing any more than they have already had to do before now? Isn't it your Christian doctrine abi na tradition una dey call am that the man is the provider to his family?

sanerugwei:
➜Shocking you said all the Sees are united under Rome...totally untrue and unfounded, unless of course you don't understand what and where the Sees stand.
➜Starting with James, the brother of Jesus, most of the apostles were killed by Roman empire including Peter and Paul who allegedly died at the hands of the Romans in Rome... Maybe yours is alternate history. Let me helep you smalll...
➜ Peter – Tradition holds that Peter was crucified upside down in Rome during Emperor Nero's persecution (circa 64-68 CE). The earliest reference comes from 1 Clement, a letter from the Roman Church(not Roman Catholic ooo, the true Roman church that Paul wrote to in Book of Romans in your Bible) dated around 90 CE.
➜ Paul – Paul is believed to have been beheaded in Rome under Nero’s rule . [b]Early Christian historian Eusebius (4th century) records this in his Ecclesiastical History

I simply do not see these things the way you would prefer.

2. These claims were all fabricated, as the only apostle whose writings confirm he was actually in Rome was Paul.

3. Are you able to clearly quote this letter from Clement where he said these things? Clement wrote of Peter's death over 30 years after it had occurred?

4. Paul was executed by Nero, and it wasn't until 300 years after the fact that someone wrote of it. The same Paul is suggested to have died in 69 AD, while Nero is recorded to have died in 68 AD. How come? I am afraid I don't buy the seemingly spurious accounts made in your Ecclesiastical History. The holes in the many accounts are just too much to be ignored.

sanerugwei:
➜You are totally mistaken and continue to use the term Catholic church interchangeably with the Roman Catholic Church. They are not the same when you consider the nitty gritty. And no their are very divergent doctrines when move from West to Eastern Orthodoxy, Coptic or Ethopian churches. Most chruches around the Western worlds and most of African minus Egypt and Ethiopian/ Nile axis have very different doctrine. One major division is the nature of the sonship of Christ with the Holy Spirit called Filioque... The Filioque Controversy (Holy Spirit) Roman Catholicism: Teaches that the Holy Spirit proceeds from both the Father and the Son ("Filioque".... Eastern Orthodox, Coptic, Ethiopian: Believe the Holy Spirit proceeds only from the Father, rejecting the Filioque addition.
Those other Orthodoxies are also not merchandising Christianity like the Western part do...so also less flamboyancy...

This thread is about the Roman Catholic church which considers itself the Holy see.

sanerugwei:
➜You are totally mistaken and continue to use the term Catholic church interchangeably with the Roman Catholic Church. They are not the same when you consider the nitty gritty....

You should first try to read and comprehend my response to you before you move forward. The breakaway entities are the Pentecostals who broke from the Roman Catholic Church. I mentioned this in my original comment which you asked me of.

onuku:
➜Spouse works full-time, and sometimes overtime, and suddenly refuses to contribute to monthly bills.
Please advise how to handle this situation.

Is your marriage of the traditional model, or is it instead a partnership where you are both expected to share the bills in addition to taking care of the children and managing everything at home?

sanerugwei:
➜ You are mistaken, Catholic Church and Roman Catholic church are not the same thing. You need to take a cue and study the history of the early church and apostolic track.
➜ Most of the early apostles were killed in Rome or by Rome,
➜ they have nothing to do with the Roman Catholic church which was remodeling of the Roman part of the Pentarchy when they claimed[b] first among equals[/b]. Penta means five episcopal Sees, as they were five main church centers back then, including[b] Jerusalem, Antioch(Antakya, Turkey), Constantinople(Istanbul, Türkiye) , Alexandria(Egypt) and Rome(Italy).[/b] This is why Vatican calls itself the Holy See.
So go and learn your history and thank me later...

😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

2. Stop lying! The Apostles were not killed in Rome, and there is no evidence they were killed by Romans. Also, there is no concrete evidence to suggest that any of them lived beyond the year 70 AD in the land of Judea or the surrounding nations.

3. Your history seems to be off, given that all the sees came to unite under the banner of Rome.

btoks:
➜Why pick a controversy out of countless acts of charity and mission from the church. Bro, be thankful of the good. Mother Teresa has been declared saint anyway, so overall she was good regardless of any controversy you might dig up.

There is no controversy in this at all. It's been confirmed that she was nothing like the Catholic propaganda machine had the world believe, even with 2 popes endorsing her before her death.

Taiwojon:
➜Deeper life don't chase people for your hairstyle or hair cut. Because a church is a combination of saint and sinners And everyone is accepted in the church just as they are. Haven't you seen
➜The Gck with people having different dresses and hairstyle, including gold and jewelry and yet they welcome In fact Pastor also preach to all ➜ Even to the Muslim people and welcoming Muslims brethren to the church through the Gck and change maker international. So please stop posting rubbish about deeper life

. Deeper Life used to do exactly that back in the 80s and 90s.

2. Maybe the new doctrines now allow such, but all of that used to be frowned upon by Kumuyi himself.

3. To this day, my mum, who is a deeper life member, still believes Celestial church members are into witchcraft because that was what Kumuyi used to allude to. Now he seems to have changed his mind about them.

sanerugwei:
➜I see your point, but start by explaining this your signature statement so the suits of Pentecostal pastors can be evaluated against that of the cassocks of the clergy of the church of Rome a.k.a Roman Catholic Church, RCC... which is a breakaway entity from the Universal Catholic or Orthodoxy hence you have Eastern Orthodoxy and Western Orthodoxy way long ago before the coming of the so called new generation or Pentecostal churches.

Breakaway or not, all of these organizations are run using pretty much the same models as those created by the Catholic church, do they not? Their doctrines are pulled from dogma formerly set up by the Catholic church, is that not so? Need I go on?

btoks:
➜Doesn’t just have wealth for wealth sake, it is the largest charitable and missionary organisation in the world, so all geared towards God's work ultimately.

You mean like Mother Teresa was also a charitable and missionary mission?
Mother Teresa Was Kind of a Heartless Bitch

TossTos:
Anybody can re marry at anytime .. why question the man of God .. Do not question the man o

Are widows in Deeper Life allowed to remarry?