₦airaland Forum

jaxxy:
✓ So what matters abroad? The sub zero weather automatically turns everybody to a LovePeddler?
✓ These are just excuses for people with character flaws and who refuse to work on themselves.

Stop lying! In the same abroad with subzero temperatures there are equally many asexual individuals who live and enjoy life there. Let's stop these need to color everyone abroad with our own private problems.

2. I have never met anyone here --- except for may e a bunch of still delusional/religious Africans--- going around thinking to find partners primarily with good manners and self control. People here look for way more than such superficial nonsense. Most of those out seeking partners typically look for personalities that complement theirs and someone they can live with. Good manners and self control in a partner are considered a plus where it is available, not a requirement. .

IfyAwazie:
Abeg, make una do quick travel out fast make we wey remain see food chop

No one has been keeping you from seeing food chop up until naw.🤔

KingEarnest:
✓ All these Japa Crew you people are funny .
So if you travel out and start earning in dollars or the higest currency in the world, do you think you will spend in naira or that same currency? Is that not the same as staying in Nigeria?
✓ Y'all think there are jobs waiting for you over there that will pay you $5000 per month, Lol .

1. No it isn't the same as staying in Nigeria.🤔

2. Yes, there are! Since his leaving would depend on whether he gets a job elsewhere or not then it is safe to conclude that he can would be able to leave if and when there is a job waiting for him on the other side.

jaxxy:
I hate to admit it but the op is right especially in the UK and not just Nigerian girls but all except for girl with good manners and self control.

Good manners and self control? Now I know for sure you are spitting tales... Good manners and self control means absolutely nothing abroad.. Stop telling people this useless lie!

criuze:
➜How will I be kidding , the other part is there are some live-in house keepers/helps , basically cooks that's ends up into wives, withstanding that most don't end up as wife, but can give support when needed most
Lass lass a man should have a sunset plan and on a more serious note, I believe this scenario totally unAfrican, no black skinned people abandoned their aged parents. It is not a norm here

A woman as sunset plan is how many of the "abandoned" husbands in the village ended up that way. Prescribing the very same that failed them as a solution means you are disconnected from the reality of things. A better sunset plan in any case is a guaranteed pension that would take care of their needs until the end in which case such men, even if alone, would live more comfortably.

Kingsempires:
hmmm!!! Na WA ooo!!!

Do you question my experience?

rinzaugustine:
➜ tithes , offerings and sponsoring group of people to Shiloh every year

What did he do for a living? What company did he own or work for that he could afford so much, etc.?

rinzaugustine:
One of my cousins was a big financier at Enugu and even sponsored many trips to shiloh with his own money after many years but when it was his turn to become a pastor of that branch, he was bypassed and a Yoruba man without experience was brought from Ibadan to take that position. My mumu cousin said it was the will of God because nothing blinds many Igbo people like religion. I never saw it as anything before but tinubu is now opening our eyes to learn how this tribalism works

What factory or business was this financier operating at the time?

criuze:
➜How will I know bro, Maybe to give a try, sometimes some how in my village aged people do marry younger women, even younger or at the same age with their first daughters especially if the have pre marriage child , and it sometimes works, Humans will keep giving tries
➜In extreme cases that shouldn't be ruled out, at least for final resort, an averagely advance woman or a daughter-like wife, in most cases stay humble especially if their said man flicker embers of hope to her and her pre or post marriage children. She might eventually grow wings though , but the said man would have met the before the wings emerge completely

1. You mean you have never been back to your village to see how the many men who do such typically end up in the end?

2. In most cases? Are you kidding? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

enm:
➜Believe it or not; if you like engage with your brain from now till thy kingdom come, if things one to go south instead of north there is nothing you can do about it that why i still stand by that pray and pray that think work out well for good for all involved.
➜Not where in my post did i applause or encourage the activities of irresponsible men or fathers.
➜Now we hear from the wife side her reasons but can you beat your chest that's what the wife said actually happen. Am not saying she is lying but what she thought might be actually far from the truth.
➜There are a lot of men out there in the trenches working hard to make sure their family do not lack but the wife will be lamenting and telling it to the children how their father is irresponsible, giving them peanuts and spending time out there with their girlfriend when they are suppose to be at home meanwhile the said husband/father is doing overtime at work or running doing some side job ( if he does shift work). With that mindset or scenario i just painted above what do you think will happen when he gets old, even if the man have try to correct countless times.
➜Just because one is in a relationship does not mean the world should revolved around one but that doesn't mean one should suffer because of it.
➜My earlier post was based on the fact that i saw a lot of comment categorizing all men found in such position as husband and father who failed in their duty and i want to point out that it shouldn't be so. A lot of them don't deserve the neglect they are getting in their old age but life happened.
➜And am still saying pray that we don't find ourselves in such situation. Nobody wish for bad ending both men and women but note this people change either for good or for bad if you like treat and carry them like your heaven.

1. When it comes to family, what you described RARELY ever happens. That is why the vast majority of people out there who commit themselves to their kids and relationships, don't ever end up regretting it. And no, prayer does not solve a marriage. I know your scammers-in-the-lords have made you lot believe that bogus lie but the truth of this world is that it does no such thing.

2. The OP described what the woman and her kids said was an irresponsible father.

3. You aren't saying she is lying but you are here indicating she is? What the f-k is up with you people? 😂😂😂😂

4. If all you as a man can offer your family is money, then you should never ever consider getting married. Tales of men suffering in trenches while neglecting the emotional and physical needs of their families plenty for out there. Raising a family requires presence both physical and emotional. If you are not able to offer that—physical and emotional presence— in addition to financial support, you should not even bother having kids or a family of your own for that matter. 🤔

5. Don't have a family at all if you are convinced that all you have to offer is nothing but your suffering. 🙄

6. Bunkum! No one categorized all men, rather they categorized the men described by OP are mostly men who failed as fathers. 🤔

7. Stop praying! If you want to be loved by your father, act accordingly; your choices will lead you to the end you most deserve, no matter how much you pray and fast. 🤔

Bea1234:
➜Sorry, I don't that you're not a sir. 🙏 How do I get offered a job sir. I dropped out in 2023 cos of lack of funds..
➜The book is fiction story and the other is women book in self-help niche.

1. Find job postings online and apply for as many jobs as you find that fit your qualifications. If you are accepted, then you have a chance. That is it!

2. So the books are secrets? Ok naw!

durentboi:
don't worry i will use sniper

Inside of your house?

durentboi:
Pls advise

If you truly wish to commit suicide then why not go off with a bang like the man who denoted his car in front of Trump tower? He made certain to kill himself alone but the world will not soon forget it.

Myrepublic:
➜Now the mothers you all now claimed to be gods, do they do more than the fathers? If your father was chasing after young girls,mine wasn't like that. So I speak from my experience, during my upbringing.
➜My papa no dey use my mama play,and na them gather train me. And I dey respect them same way. What I give my mom,is same I give to my that. Sometimes I even join I together,and they both appreciate it.
➜I understand that some of you came from "one kind" family sha.
➜I pray you don't go the route ya dad followed,of follow girls at young age,even when wife and kids dey hux. Say amen

1. I never said mothers are gods so where do you get that nonsense assertion from? The ones to judge in pretty much all of those cases are the children and if the children judge their mothers more useful to them than their fathers, who are you to decide otherwise?

2. Good for you but what does that have to do with the dynamics between someone else and their papa?

3. Some? LOL... Family dynamics is most times very simple! What you invest almost always determines what you get out of it — that is almost always the case, except in very small circumstances.

4. Prayers are useless in this case. Either you choose to go the way of your dad or you don't. Or better still you strive to be much better than your dad ever could have been... I prefer the latter.

Bea1234:
- It's alright sir. I know Nigerians are not trustworthy but you can trust me.. am very honest and hardworking.. help me if you wish pls.. I don't need your money.. Just help me to come over pls.. I can borrow flight ticket money from family members.. we are suffering in Nigeria pls.. pls sir kobojunkie 🙏🙏
➜one book is fiction and the other is nonfiction. Though, I'm on the verge of writing another one now.. but I just want to get these ones published before I start.. Hello me in any way you want pls .. you can help me pay for book cover design pls or you can buy my domain name pls 🙏🙏

I am not a sir... my moniker is merely Kobojunkie and as I said, I don't have embassy connections. The best way to Japa is to get offered a job at whatever destination you choose for yourself. So, get to work.

2. Still no information regarding the supposed books you wrote?

collarfreak:
➜Please, Nairalanders, I need your advice so urgently. There is a lady I met close to a year ago in a church, and one thing led to another; we were both in love, and I am ready to marry her as my wife. She introduced me to her parent and vice versa. Her parent accepted me, but after a while, the mother came back and said that she went to pray in her church, and the pastor told her that I am a man with multiple wives and not one. She was so disturbed about this, and she summoned me, and I told her it can never happen that with God at the centre of the marriage, it will not happen.
Now we want to tie the knot early this year, but the mom is still adamant and trying to buy the lady to her side due to the prophecy her pastor told her. The lady stood her ground, but her mom still would not listen that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Please be aware that the lady parents are also separated, but they communicate. Please, what is your advice for me?

What advice do you need in this case? You have a potential mother-in-law whose husband probably abandoned her to marry another wife and is paranoid that you would do the same to her daughter. She has the backing of her particular scammer-in-the-lord who is waiting to see if you could bribe him/her to influence the mother-in-law. And then you have your potential bribe who needs to decide her own life despite her mother's conviction. So what do you need us to tell you?

Just so you know, your marriages have absolutely nothing to do with God of Israel or Jesus Christ of Israel so these statements and mentions of the name God are all meaningless religious rattlings. Stop using the mention of God to confuse yourself in making your decision whether or not to marry the girl in question. Her mother raising God against you all is merely hiding her fears behind it all. And the pastor is there to take advantage. You raising the name God in your case are merely pretending as well.

tuoyoojo:
➜The issue of brain washing to me is cheap excuse to me. I am not trying to say it doesn't exist but this so called brain washing can only be successful with the unintentional collaboration of the man. What do I mean
Many men have the belief that being a father is just about providing money for the house and thats all. This is just a part of the responsibility.
A father must also be present and visible in the life of his children, someone who is there for their emotional needs and be a Co nurturing parent and not leaving it alone for the mother. Someone who is firm and loving. As humans emotional connection leaves a more last impression than physical provision. This is not to imply that physical provision is not important but it is only part and not the only package
➜As parents we start "writing" exams as we bring up our kids. They score us on physical and emotional provisions. Many father score low on physical provision and even worse on the emotional and nurturing part. The report card is how they treat us when we are older. This is not to say all kids would turn out well even with good home training and nurturing but it goes a long way to hav children who would make our old age more fulfilling.

Thank you! How can a man who is busy chasing around other women in his youth claim he was present, visible, and emotionally available at the same time for his children? It is impossi-cant.

2. Indeed!

Bea1234:
➜Bro but if you help me make I come over there e no go bad oo.. at least I'll work and pay you back.. I'm really hardworking and industrious
➜I wrote 2 books from ending October to early January.. na money dey limit my abilities.. help me if you wish pls

1. I am sorry but I don't have embassy connections.

2. Out of curiosity, what books did you write? What topic?

Bea1234:
Nothing like inflation anywhere or all those shvts.. travel out now o...As far as they're paying in dollars and pounds or any other currency that is higher than naira and not African country.. just go there immediately
See me wey write 2 books finish since dey struggle to raise money for book cover.. travel out now.. My grandfather travel to UK in the 70's abi 80's but I no know wetin carry am come back to this shîthole..
Travel out now.. we still have 3 more years of shege to endure in this regime from hell. TRAVEL OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!! DOLLAR IS AT AN ALL-TIME HIGH!!

Dollar has not even moved more than a few micrometers since this new administration came into office in Nigeria. So, any Nigerian deceiving themselves trying to blame the country's woes on the dollars definitely needs to remain in Nigeria abeg! That shege needs to reset brains like that so that Nigerians will think twice before allowing this kain calamity befall them ever again.

enm:
➜To some of you who are commenting the man did this and that and deserve what he get, well all i can say is pray you don't find yourself in such situation at your old age. This goes beyond cooking, cleaning or washing of clothes though some men are very very poor in this area.
➜Before you lambast me, please consider this first.
⇢What if the man during his active and youthful days was a very caring and loving husband and father?
⇢What if the man during his active and youthful days went all the way including doing some shady or under the table deals to make sure his family have the best of the best provision he could provide
⇢What if the man during his active and youthful days did not involve himself with concubine or extra marital affair
⇢What if the man never try to offend or hurt his wife during his active and youthful days ( although unintentional hurtful actions may arise from time to time lead to the woman or man feeling hurt )
➜ I just want you guys to know that not every neglected old man you see out there deserve what they are getting in their old age. Some of them didn't even enjoyed their marriage and home in their active and youthful days but that didn't stop them from doing what was expected of them as husband and father.

1. Stop with the foolish praying and start engaging your brain is what you need to do!

2. Did you read the OP at all? According to his wife and kids, he was an unavailable uncaring husband and father in his youth. If you live with other people and they consider you unavailable and uncaring and you don't agree, then it is up to you to do all there is to change that perception they have of you. You don't ignore it all and then expect all to be well when it comes time for you to benefit from them. Relationship involves people engaging each other and making necessary changes whenever necessary.

3. If you believe that in a relationship the world should revolve around you and your perception of things— whether you think you enjoyed or suffered—, then you have right there failed in that relationship and are bound to suffer it in time.

zed7:
This "writer" is always writing nonsense.

I have to agree with you there. The writeup is indeed trash!

Biggeststar01:
➜I just needed the gist. I don’t believe any such things exist. Way to ruin it.

If only Nigerians were able to keep records, you would get a lot of that kind of gist from reading PrimePeople's magazine articles from back in the 90s. Those were better gist until crazy people started pouring the bulk of their most irrational delusions into it all.

Myrepublic:
➜Men will shoulder wife and kids all their lives. At old age,some children go say Mama over Papa. And if their mother is a wicked woman,she go brain wash them to hate their dad. Na Wetin dey result to this most times.. Even though some useless fathers dey too o. Meanwhile as a man,as you dey shoulder family responsibilities,also plan for your old age. Because your wife and kids might not be there for you at old age.. Try dey learn from some persons experience too. Very important..

Shoulder wife and kids by treating them like burdens forced on him while he chases after other women in his youth? Did you bother to read and properly digest the story told by the OP aside from his less reasonable conclusion?

Marriage and raising of kids —having a family— is like setting up and building a company. The more passionate you are about and towards its success, the more reward you are likely to receive in the end from the company. The less committed you are to the success of the company, the more likely the company is never gonna be of benefit to you now and in the future.

criuze:
Life can still happen to someone at any age. What if the man look for an averagely advanced woman and marry at least for assistance , since by the look of things the wife has informally divorced him

And what guarantee does this man have that this supposedly averagely advanced woman, aware that his former wife abandoned him, would take care of him or provide him assistance?

HelenaWills:
➜I know you're daft and NL's residential clown. Please do well to avoid me on this forum. Thanks.

Blame the children of the man neglected while he was chasing after other women in his youth. Are you folks for real? 😩😩😩😩

Bookhub:
This is what happens when men marry too early the children are all grown and left ,I rather be 70 and my children 20 and below so they will be there with me in my old age while I plan transfer of my acquired wealth to them as I leave.

You marry late, have children in their 20s when you are already in your 70s who you will probably not be able to provide much for, and then turn around and expect them to cater to your needs in old age? Why is critical reasoning an abomination for many of you, abeg?

HelenaWills:
I don't get it. If a woman can cook at old age, what stops a man from doing same? Kitchen chores aren't gender specific. I would be more concerned about companionship at old age rather than these baseless and sentimental opinions on who should cook or be cooked for. Women don't deserve rest? Blame the children for not providing helps for their aged parents. Rubbish.

Blame the children of the man neglected while he was chasing after other women in his youth. Are you folks for real? 😩😩😩😩

BABANGBALI:
➜ About two years ago, my uncle asked me to talk to his wife about returning home. During our conversation, I was shocked by her response. She bluntly said, “Your uncle should go and carry the women he used to carry when he was younger.” It became clear that her decision to stay away was intentional. She knows her husband is now old, weak, and unable to pursue other women or manage much on his own, as he relies solely on his pension and the small support sent by their children.
When I pressed further, she revealed her perspective: she claimed my uncle used to threaten her with the idea of taking a second wife and had maltreated her during their younger years. I couldn’t help but ask if this was some form of revenge. Her words left me wondering if some women patiently wait until old age to settle scores, knowing that their husbands are now vulnerable.
This story reflects a broader reality: old age often seems to favor women more than men. Many men, who once held control in their prime, find themselves at the mercy of their wives and children when they grow older. This dynamic is worsened when men fail to secure a solid foundation for their later years.
My advice to men is this: Plan for your old age. Build a support system independent of anyone, whether it’s financial stability, meaningful relationships, or a reliable community. Avoid relying solely on your wife or children, as situations can change. A secure and well-thought-out plan for your later years can ensure that no one—neither a spouse nor your children—will take you for granted when you are most vulnerable.

Just imagine the irrational conclusion made by the OP. When will Nigerians start reasoning critically for Pete's sake?

oziegbep:
➜Greetings All, Please I need serious advice. I am currently dating a lady that I truly love. She is caring, enduring, financially stable etc. The truth is that this lady really loves me. But she's a single mum and its like an extra baggage to me. Am single and planning to get married to this lady, but the single mum status gives me sleepless nights. I have asked her several times about the baby daddy, but she keeps telling me the dude abandoned her and the baby long ago and that she doesn't know he's whereabout. Please I need advice on how I can cope. Because I truly love this lady alot

You need advice for what exactly? You would rather base your choice more on what people say rather than what your heart wants for you to have.

Better yet, I would advise that you leave that lady so she can go find herself a man who would love her without caring what others say or whether she is a single mother or not. Life is too short for anyone to be in a relationship that they are truly not committed to.

panafrican:
His conviction was widely condemned by international rights groups and sparked a debate about freedom of speech in Nigeria. His detention also sent shockwaves across Nigeria's small atheist and humanist communities, and his release has come as a relief to many, but there are still concerns.
"It's thanks and no thanks," said Leo Igwe, the founder of the Humanist Association of Nigeria.
"Thanks, that he's out, thanks that he's a free man. But no thanks, because there is a dent on him as if he committed a crime. For us at the Humanist Association, he committed no crime."
As for Bala, he is keen to catch up on lost time – including getting to know his young son who was just six weeks old when he was imprisoned. But he said he had no regrets.
"My activism, my posting on social media, I always knew the worst would happen, When I made the decision to come out, I knew I could be killed. I knew the dangers, and I still decided to do it."

Freedom of speech and freedom of religion... Now that he is in the UK, he can freely post without worries.

Science ke? There is no science rather behind the Law — its many statutes and commandments. Rather, the Law is a rule book and the people are meant to submit themselves obediently. That is all YHWH required of the people of Israel. Jesus Christ of Israel revealed this in His Gospel where He explained to the Pharisees, regarding the Laws about what to eat, that it is not what you eat that makes you unclean — defiles you or makes you sinful — but rather the wicked things — disobedience of God's Law — stored up in once heart that causes that.

HolinesstodLord:
1. Your question shows you don’t understand spiritual things. Science(the knowledge of humans) taught you all you know and science is not even up to class with the knowledge of Angels. God is one and when you meet him, you will understand our brains know nothing.
2. Holiness is the way of God. If you follow his ways and keep his precepts, you are deemed holy. Jesus is holy. Repent of your sins and be converted.

as expected, nothing but the usual religious gibberish. What the vast majority of you religious individuals fail to realize is that the God of Israel and His Son, Jesus Christ of Israel, are quite logical in their definition of the relationship that exists between them and humans. They each draw up and have contracts/Laws with which the relationship between them and their followers are guided. But you religious folks instead worship a different entity who according to you all requires you abandon your ability to critically reason and logically process your existence and experiences. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

2. See! Religious gobbledegook as expected! 🙄