₦airaland Forum

insabarnur:
For me , I think it's two. Maturity and understanding.

Not for a Nigerian woman in a Nigerian marriage. She most likely has to live a stewpid existence in order that her Nigerian husband can beat his chest about his marriage.

ngmoses17:
■ Maturity makes people think you're stupid.

Stop lying! Being mature has nothing to do with being stewpid. It is the other things that the man didn't say that constitute the stewpid in Nigerian marriage. For example, that very same man may have a wife who has had to stewpidly condone his adultery, abuse, and probably even neglect in order to remain married to him for 34 years. that is what is an example of the stewpid that is Nigerian marriage for Nigerian women. There is absolutely nothing mature about that kind of stewpid.

kinkydude:
When in marriage, it's not me, me ,me but we, we, we all the time, you'll suceed.

So, na we, we ... commit adultery, abuse, etc?

Jackson619007:
Indeed, fact! It may be argued that adopting a childlike mindset is conducive to fostering a prolonged marital union. That helps a lot believe me.

Childlike? Do you speak in terms of the woman in the Nigerian marriage or what?

Helper1000:
your own don finish

Look who's talking!

Helper1000:
you are sick.. when has having full control of your home become miserable? Weak guys everywhere

You mean a woman living stewpid in marriage has always been the norm?

Jeon:
But those aren't stupidity. it's maturity.

Not when you are in a Nigerian marriage which is what the man is talking about. For instance, many Nigerian women in Nigerian marriages have had to stupidly condone adultery, abuse, etc. all so they can continue to wear that Mrs. title in their Nigerian marriages. Even this man boasting here may have had to subject his own wife to many of the same in all of those 34 years, things he would not openly speak of on video of course.

Helper1000:
men are meant to be the head.. I must be able to control and love any girl I would Marry

And she is meant to live a stewpid existence in marriage, right?

xynerise:
If you want to be too smart all the time then you are not ready for marriage

Marriage requires smartness; the Nigerian marriage however requires a level of stewpid that defies commonsense to both sustain and maintain it.

Bunkbars:
■ The experience alone dating a woman, is enough reason to tell you. What marriage is all about.

Anyone telling you, you don't need money to sustain a relationship, it is a blatant lie, you will be shocked, how she will leave.

Even while she earn her own money, you will have to give her, money, assist her with life, and solve most of her problems.

Relationship is a responsibility of nuturing, caring and providing for your fellow female human, in exchange for companionship and procreation.

Ensure you use your head. If you have give, when you don't have tell her No, if she wants to leave, let her leave.

He is not talking of relationship in general but a Nigerian marriage.

ednut1:
Understanding not stupidity

Wrong! Literally stewpidity is what is required to endure and sustain a Nigerian marriage.

able20:
■ Olofo broke ass nigga...... Just because your marriage crashed doesn't mean that other people are not happily married for 55 years

The Nigerian marriage model is what the man is referring to. He has a point.

Helper1000:
Marry a girl you can control

And she live the most stewpid existence abi?.

mbahdi:
U mean to last long in marriage we must all be stupid?

The Nigerian woman in a Nigerian marriage in particular needs be.

NwekeUG:
It Takes Some Level Of Stupidity To Remain Married - Nigerian Man Married For 38 Years (Video)

He has a point, particularly where the Nigerian model of marriages is concerned, especially for the women.

Ladygee12:
■ Small pickin obviously , u think everyone on nairaland is single or as young as u are , topics are being posted to hear different opinions but children like u always think it's a personal experience, it's not compulsory u comment , they say drink water and mind ur business ...

wetin this one dey talk abeg!

omobolarinwa1:
■ Kobo another angle u take dey see ham Ooo the wife self na virgin wen dem married her yrs back?no be this end time we all dey...abeg dey play oooo no be we men wey de be diz Lmao

Why do most of you talk like towobos a lot of the times? What has virgin to do with anything? The man tell you say his wife had to be a virgin or him self be virgin before him meet am?

This is 2023! Make una no dey sound like people devoid of sense. Abeg go chatter sense by the truckload. Even chatgpt could even lend some of you some.

PastorFire4Fire:
■ You have no sense. You take your own cross and carry it. She has married the man na, if you cannot manage him the way he is, why not leave the marriage. Why the begging?

I no blame you at all. Na the status quo for Nigeria I blame.

Juliearth:
■ Maybe you are right. As a matter of fact, I can't even marry someone who is not as well read as I am. He has to be equally or more read than I am.... at least a PhD.
However, you lack understanding! Language was clearly not a barrier for op. Clearly, he knew all these and chose her. And my advise was based on this premise.

🙄 Which OP are you pretending to speak on behalf of now?

Ladygee12:
As humans we are not 💯 perfect but how do u make a choice of a life partner who is well to do but can't speak good English and is not ready to get an education because he sees it as a waste of time
How about a lady who is a wife material and has all the qualities you want but is not educated and doesn't speak good English but has refused to get educated and seees it as a waste of time due to her business which brings a lot of cash
Can you cope ?

The OP who posed questions rather than present a case for self?

descarado:
I will date and marry such. Yep. No big deal.
Na English I go chop or cuddle in the night.

Well, unlike you, I can't because good communication ranks high for me in a relationship and English might as well be my first language so no fooling myself abeg.

BlackMan6969:
It is.
But, what happens when it's on open space?

Even in open space she still keeps her rights.

Juliearth:
No!

So what was all that epistle for?

vastolord4:
■ You are empty without God or a god.. believe it or not.. a phone is worthless without an OS

Look, God put His breath into each and every Irving thing He created so it is erroneous to even pretend that there exists living beings that are empty. Now, as for God's Law, He gave those only to His Israel so it is also erroneous to lie to people that God is what they need when God did not make Himself available to all by way of His Covenant. Please no more of the digression abeg!

Funkybabee:
■ His living in righteousness is not ypur business Mr know all, having this makes Holy ghost to take over, you don't have right or power to order or correct man. Face your life

What Holy Ghost? Use your brain? How can that which is Holy abide inside of that which is unholy? No be juju be that reasoning wey you get there?

Op asked a question and I answered. If you want people to face their lives start by facing your own..

vastolord4:
■ You have what every god wants.. there's always an exchange in this life!.. you may deem yourself unrighteous, but you god might not let you go cos he sees beyond what our small mind sees.. if you let go of your god, another one possesses you! Simple

What you just said makes no sense at all as concern the God I know.

descarado:
■ Why not. Good English a criteria? Guy, that's inferiority complex.
I have happened to meet colleagues that are so bad in English and yet they are employed in an English soil and heading departments.
Some have such thick traditional accents, you then realise Nigerians are actually English people. And guess ŵhat,the English don't care. What they care about is what's inside and what you can give.
Psquare as far as I know score zero in English language. Some women will proudly leave their first class husband in English language to follow them.

All this na tory. Yes, it is a valid criteria for some and there is absolutely nothing inferior about it. As commonsense is communication is key to the health of a relationship and oral communication plays a big role in that for many of us.

So the question is simple. Would you consider dating someone who does not speak fluent English?

Funkybabee:
Do you have Christ?
Are you born again?
Have you done water baptism?
Have you done Holy ghost baptism with the evidence of speaking in tongue?
If yes, try to be waking up around midnight to do praying in tongue only, maybe ten minutes only then speak what you want for your Angel to do it . Come back and come and give me review But if those questions are no, kindly find yes to them. And do what I said up there

These religious rituals will only serve to distance you from God.

Yes, you have to be born-again--- born of water and born of spirit--- but that is only the beginning in the journey towards God. Who says that if you do not them live your life in continuous submission and obedience to Him even after that --- again not to be confused with religious rituals -- you can't experience Holiness, and ultimately Righteousness which approves you for all the promises of God.

LINSAR:
They'll get it when they're a little grown.

Look around you at the numerous who struggle with those same basic skills even as adults. Some of you don't bother reasoning things out at all..

Juliearth:
■ As much as western education is key, we must not underplay the fact the informal education is sufficient. If your woman can sustain a business.
, that shows that she is not a dullard. The only problem I see here is communication. I think you should focus on helping her attain fluency in English. That could take a while, but it is totally attainable. Get her a tutor, advise her television engagement to programes aired in English and a change of environment would also help.

Would you yourself be willing to date a man who can't speak English?

aQUINandmore:
why won't I have kids due to insecurity when I'm sensible enough to take measures to keep my kids off harm's way?

If sending a 7 year old kids on errands is the only way you think they can acquire social intelligence why are you wasting your money on school fees for them?

Your kids aren't usually taught social intelligence skills in school. Those are typically developed from having numerous regular interactions in less managed settings. Also, your kids are rarely exposed to emotional intelligence skills in school so you should also look into getting that for them too. You can't buy those for market

spanzed:
Lol, legal profession has some elements of occultism in it if you observe wella

You are kidding, right?

LINSAR:
■ Who is talking about insecurity?
When with kids in Nigeria, you still have to tell them to leave the road for incoming vehicles. Imagine when you're not with them. I see children recklessly crossing the roads, walking on the road for motorists.

Look around.. isn't that the same exact thing the kids see adults doing in that same Nigeria? Bring the same kids to a developed nation and you will find them less likely to do the sand. Kids learn from their environment and so it is sensible in order to build social intelligence all while training them about the right and wrong ways to do things..