₦airaland Forum

internetpirate:
Assuming it is your personal slang for your friends etc, do you think it's particularly intelligent/wise to use it in a public forum? Since you are so good in English and deliberately choose words at random! Part of English writing is the address to "audience" and one chooses words that are most appropriate to the audience. What you use for informal narratives is not the same with what you use for formal narratives!

Now, don't take this personal, but I just feel it's time to speak up on this growing trend on Nairaland! Someone writes atrocious English, and when corrected, the bandwagon descends on the critic, often suggesting that he/she should draw meaning from the mumbo-jumbo, instead of correcting the anomaly and setting a standard for intelligent discourse!

Why I am gravely worried by this trend is because I see it as a reflection of our Nigerian society where mediocrity, poor controls and lack of excellence are rife! We spend time chanting change, yet the change we truly need is a "mindset change"!!! Can we start aiming for the sky in all our endeavours?!!!
Can we start criticising our general performance through structured reviews so that lessons-learnt can reflect in improved performance

Cousin brother doesn't seem like a major faux pas (no matter how you try to burnish it!), but it is part of the canker worms that are eating at our national marrow!! My apologies my "cousin sister"!!

pls Abegi that's the problem with you Nigerians, always treating the English language like it's a gold mine. Try travel out bro and see the world and how they regard their own language more than English.

kestolove95:
She knw insult gej or southerners o...she's. Getting to meet d people one on one....no b like dat barren woman for dia

Guy, like seriously, you need to see TB Joshua or any of his wise men for deliverance. Cos the kind and number of curses metted to you in this house is not something to take lightly.
When people hurl curses on you like this, especially when you did something wrong, God runs away from you and the Devil takes over. It might not be barrenness, it could be worse things.
I have a freind whose wife had 5 miscarriages, he had to go back and beg for forgiveness from his girlfriend he denied responsibility of her pregnancy many years ago, cos she cursed him when he denied it. I'm serious, see a pastor for deliverance and don't put yourself in a situation where people will hurl curses on you again.

10 THINGS YOU WILL REALISE ONCE YOU DECIDE TO SETTLE
DOWN

1). #500 na money

2). Swags, looks and Americana accents don't pay bills. No more need to pretend you have money when you don't. You Have To Have It !!!

3). Love is not all and only thing to consider in choosing a wife, contrary to what we thought.

4). In life, what matters is WHO KNOWS YOU and not, WHOM YOU KNOW.

5). Nothing compares to saving good money in the bank.

6). A lady's beauty is in her brains.

7). Relax!... Having Sex would finally be a 'job' that you ll one day be running away from.

8 ) Girls are plenty but wives are scarce.

9). Acting to impress a girlfriend is as useless as the 'ueue' in 'Queue'.

10). That you need God like never before
Please married guys add yours as advice to those intending to join the fold.

tola9ja:
CHAI THIS JONATHAN TENURE IS THE WORST TENURE EVER IN NIGERIAN'S HISTORY

.
Your brain dey craze o!

Guys, simply ask for the babe, account number and pay sumtin into the account, nothing is too small, she go begin worry your life. Remember everybody, loves and need money.

Best way to tame a womaniser is to take his pictures to babalawo and jazz him.

Ask him to use sasun oil, its a desensitizer, just follow the mode of operation on the leaflet, he will beg to cum.
It is sold in most chemists

jackpot:
so, Mike actually wanted to get into my pants the other day?

U sure say u dey wear pant?

I honestly wonder why people stress themselves over religion? All life ends one way wether born again or Muslim and that is six feet deep. What happens after that is none of your concern, cos no one has ever come back to tell us how far....

how can a man claim he can stop corruption when he cant show the certificate he claims he has?
This thing is making his supporters doubt him,seriously.
Who will now believe other things he has been saying?
Na wa o!
If person no get waec, university go bounce you ,even if you carry first for jamb, but person dey contest presidential elections, without waec lool!

It is good for nigerian languages to die, because language is the main cause of our problems as a nation.
True it is a heritage from our fathers, but it only butreses our differences as anation and tends to divide us and make us see each other as different from us.
It was the cause of the civil war,cos if Ironsi had been overthrown by another Ibo man their would have been no war,but being overthrown by the hausas, the Ibos saw them as different from themselves.
Lets copy the Americans, they are from all corners of the earth with different languages, but chose to speak only 1 language ,which is English.
Thats why Americans unit more than other countries in the world.

Ha ha Chelsea go c today.

nijanigga:
can u cover your dirty as.s ? arik air. sorry i dont live in nigeria.i left it for u and ur master gej

So na una dey disgrace Naija, by washing plates abroad or na old woman yansh you dey wash? God bless ur hustle, lol

IGBOSON1:
The way these evil parents found the equally evil forest where the bokos hide.....why can't the secret services and police use intelligence gathered to find such places on their own and rout the vermin?

Like the Haramist will still be there waiting for the police to come and get them? E dey like say u never commit crime before o! Lol

Maybe her Pastor told her on Sunday that her miracle was on the way!

But the truth be told,APC una FUUUUUUUUUCK this guy up!!!
Chai! How him want take drink water keep cup now? All his supporters in Rivers state will be sneaking out the back door.
Even him wife go hide for toilet laf am! Looooooool

Guy, better buy, cos it is cheaper, extra costs will come while moulding that u didn't anticipate, like lots of broken blocks, labour wahala, transport of materials to site, but moulders deliver to site without charging extra! Just try sha.

Oklander:
Nawa, God knows the horror those kidnapped are going through right now yet we have a daft individual as our c in c who doesn't care but focus only on how to hang on to power forever, with Incompetence. While we have his accursed brainless followers who f00lishly believe and would say that a part of the country is doing this to themselves to make an already clueless guy looks clueless!

I careless about ya feelings.

MrOlai:
Some ladies today commit all sorts of immoralities without d fear of God. These include:

1. Sex Before Marriage
Any sex outside marriage without parents' consent is a sin. This is fornication/adultery.

2. Serial Fornication with Different Men
Some ladies would have sex with up to 10 different men before getting married to d real husband who could be innocent! In fact, some ladies have lost count of d no of men that commit fornication/adultery with them!

3. Multiple Sex Partners
Some ladies have 3, 4, 5, 6 or more multiple sex partners servicing them!

4. Abortion
Many ladies commit abortion. Some do it serially. Unfortunately 4 some of them, they end up crying for the fruit of the womb when they get married.

5. Adultery
Some married women commit adultery. They give their vagina to other men to use. Their breasts which belong to their husbands and children, they give to other men to suck!

I thought we are in the 21st century. Guy or Gal whoever u are ,u have some catching up to do, in this age of facebook and twitter u still dey talk about fornication and adultery? Plzzzzzz

Are u a christian, moslem or Pagan?
If you are a chritian, any good pastor can connect you, dont worry, with Gods help u can learn to love her.

tspun:
i don't think maids are part of the home, A home with a loving and loyal husband
and wife is the supreme setting in which
children can be reared in love and
righteousness and in which the spiritual
and physical needs of children can be
met.

You go gree sweep groun and wash toilet?

Hello fellow Nairalanders, I want to give a gift of 1 million naira to someone special to me.
I just dont want the person to waste the money, so I want your advise on the kind of buisness one can start with one million naira today in Nigeria.
Lots of thanks for your wise contributions.

I wonder when nigerians will learn to be civilized! how can u kill a snake that did nothing to you!.
we are supposed to protect our environment and conserve the plants and animals and prevent them from extinction.
We cant do that by killing anything that comes our way.
Kruger park in South Africa generates a lot of jobs and revenue for the people ,simply because they decided to conserve the plant and animals in the reserve and not kill,kill,kill!

New castle coach Alan Pardew promises to slap Mourinho if he over celebrates!

Buy brand new car its better!

"d tin fit small jare, have a lot of short friends wit big bulala hehehe"
How u take see A LOT of short freinds bulala?

Every northern man na mallam
Every Yoruba man na "shakara", them no fit fight.
Every trader na ibo
Every fair chic na ibo
Every Yoruba person dirty
Every house girl na akwa ibom
Every begger na hausa
Every polititian don hammer
Every day NEPA must seize light
Every area boy from Warri
Every Lagosian must understand Yoruba
Every Niger delta man na millitant
Every Ibo man like money.
Every Landlord wicked
Every ashewo from Edo state
Every Akwa Ibom girl sabi ....
Every person wey die, na somebody kill am
Every person wey get monney must "BLESS"
Every person wey buy car must "WASH" am
Every wedding is free for all to attend
Every short man wicked
Every mother in law wicked
Every man dey cheat on him wife/girlfreind
Every police man dey take bribe.
I try, Please add some more that I missed.

y do artistes wear dark glasses in the night?

Nigerians are very wise! There is no point spending money on the investigation in this poverty stricken country.
Instead use the money to take care of the relatives left behind.
Example: all investigations into deaths of OJ Simpsons wife, Micheal Jackson, Tupac, Biggie...... how did they end?

I am highly dissapointed in you guys!!!. At this stage and age we still have people CONDEMING other peoples religion!
Tell me what is the difference between you guys and BOKO HARAM that has been condeming CHRISTIANITY!
Abeg make una grow up! Maturity is in the brain and not how old you are.
If you dont want to join ,them force you?
Na wa o!