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THREAD CLOSED

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking! that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as all men will). Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her,“I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20! ..on one condition.

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words. The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and
meaningfully said¦ “CLEAN MY HOUSE".






The Guy fell into coma twice

jeezybuck: THREAD CLOSED

Yes SIR

odizzy: no daz not possible, dopejami is a GAY

WHat Dopejemi, come and defend yourself ooo

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese." "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever." She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?" The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says....

Liver alone. Cheese mine.






Both the Golden Retriever and lab died instantly

@ Vicky, bye bye

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ help me ask Dani oooo

choi

ab1x: Thanks but 2 my mates in ur fam

Really?

dopeJemi: awwww! I'm blushin abouh d cool part, dahz if u were actually referrin 2 meƠ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡. I had a reason 4 arguin dou, I saw dis patience's blunder sumwhere b4 larride posted it, wen I saw it d first tym, I waznt dah convinced it waz a complete blunder, so I wanted full proof dah it waz a blunder, in order 4 me 2 archieve dah, I had 2 oppose it here on larride's thread finkin I waz gonna get wah I actually nided which waz d proof dah it waz a blunder 2 clear mah mind, buh no I didn't, I got insults instead, so dah waz wah made me mad oh my dear spicy

***sitting in a corner watching both of you trying to play love on my thread***********


I'm watching

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You start immediately.

NO
Do you believe me?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Mugolo, sorry oooooo

This is great. the beggar own don done be that.

jeezybuck: Nice, but why do people die or faint at the end of jokes ? Larride is that how you faint everyday ?

Na so we see ham ooo, but all the same thanks to everyone.

^^^^^^Abi now

CLIQBOY: *falls inside pit latrine*

mormoni: Lol.... Ur ending is always killin me


More grease to ur elbows bro

Thanks

[quote author=~vicky~]yeah your wish bro [/quote]No wahala, go join NJPC or whatever you call them, I'm sure you and booqee will make a great team.

Yes
Do you think i'm lying?

[quote author=~vicky~]nice one but why you recycle this now [/quote]Recycle from where?

bunmioguns: am nt even claiming to be d original owner cos it had been posted here before me...https://www.nairaland.com/455969/dying-igbo-businessman...bt jst wanna let dani understands dt he has no right to hide my post all because i said his joke is stale....

Don't mind Dani jare but seriously, i think we should be able to express ourselves anyhow we want here, no one is a kid here, the mods are just taking things far too much, this is a public forum for God's sake. let's just enjoy it.

****OCCUPYDANI*********

[quote author=~vicky~] >: Larride beht why?[/quote]Just sharing the life experience of Mugolo

[quote author=~vicky~]^ eya didnt realized that it would piss you off but you see what is good for the goose is better for the gander (you know what am driving @)take heart ok..i will never praise because all this dry things you called jokes are stolen, copy and paste call me names if you like, it does not add bunks to my account and for your IQ am not a projan!! gerrit? thanks and stay cool [/quote]So you are no longer a member of Projan? i comment my reserve.

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement, a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.



The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes, He walked Out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,

''Where are your testicles?''


The old Chief calmly replied, '' Iraq !!''



The medical doctor died instantly

^^^^^^^^^ Don't mind her jare

bunmioguns: even though i tread thru d path of Dani....i fear no ban, for Projaners are wit me........

Always together.

bunmioguns:

Bunmi, wetin u wan cause now? Dani go ban u ooooooo

mormoni: *walks straight to d next thread


Very dry

More grease to ur elbows

Thanks boss

[quote author=~vicky~] dry collection [/quote]Beht why Vicky?

bunmioguns: I dey answer you oo my guy

I comment my reserve.

A very foolish poor man (Mugolo) received a gift of 100 naira from his mother. And so he said to himself 'i will be very rich with dis money, i will marry a wife,buy a car with many escorts, build a house with lots of visitors'
so he went to buy a newspaper and with it, he went into a restaurant, crossed his legs, held out the newspaper and ordered a meal. 'And he said dis is my wife serving me' after eating, he could not pay so the owner called police. They came with their big van and arrested him and he said 'this is my car wit many escorts.' The policemen took him to prison with other inmates then he smiled to himself and said' finally dis is my house with many visitors'

If you don't find this funny, kindly go to the next thread. Thanks