₦airaland Forum

Lemme try to upload the pictures again, it does not upload in my first post

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I went to Sango Ota, Ogun state today to get some stuffs when the rain started, I was at the MTN office when it started and I knew it wouldn't be easy to get back home, because when I am coming to Sango I shook my head at what I saw, so I thought to myself: If the road was this bad when it hasn't rained, how will it look like after the downpour? Well, it wasn't a pleasant sight at all, I have to be hoping like a frog to avoid the water, but as I was moving towards Ijoko road, what i saw was a 'river'. I had no choice, I had to pull off my trainers and waded through the water. All vehicles were almost at a standstill, then I thought: Government dey this Ogun State so? Or don't they see Sango on their map? Shaking my head for this country.

The man was sentenced for 6 charges, 3 of 5 years each and the other 3 for 10 years each as well making it 45 years altogether but to be ran CONCURRENTLY, that means he will use 10 years in jail for all six charges. You also have to note that in the prison system 8 months = 1 year, that means the 10 years equals 80 months that is 6 years and 8 months. I think that is still a pretty fair judgement for theft and impersonation

Person go go office in the morning sign, enter office, sign the document wey dey on top im table and others wey dem bring com, e go comot for office in the evening reach home com talk say im don tire. If you tire, wetin you want make person wey dey load Dangote cement talk? Those are truly the laboures and not those potbellied men and fat women!

See dem barca fans: 'trash makes front page these days', 'dry joke', 'e no funny' etc, if say barca manage win now, na una noise go plenty pass o, i love the thread jare! @OP: Ori e pe n ti e! 7:0!..., but bayern sef wicked o!

Nothing wey we no go see im fake for naija!

If all these projects are being carried out by SURE-P, which one dem dey do without subsidy money? Abi because we remove subsidy now, e don mean say FG no go dey use their own money for project implementation again na to just put all the load on funds from subsidy removal?

210 billion US dollars!? haba! Really then, if Maryam Abacha said that she can never be poor like Dangote, She is right, very right! because since all these years Dangote' assets has just managed to reach $16.1 billion, no compare that to Abacha's loot hich is like a season film we are yet to see the end since 1999. Bee ke gbogbo 'mo fe d'ogun mo fe dogbon, mo fe wo mosaaji aso oba ti n ko'na yanran yanran' seb'aye yii na lo mo?
It all ends here can He now spend it in the grave now?

Nothing is impossible! K'Olorun so wa ju 2045 lo!

[quote author=gbogboti]The same JAMB that FG has cancelled or which one? Or which one?
Abeg help me ask them o, e be like say the news never reach the Woman hear sef. Dem wan confuse person with all this info sef: dem cancel NECO, cancel UTME, JAMB registration number neccesary, person wey neva get am b4 nko how dey wan take get am Naija?!

I always knew from the onset that somrthing like this will happen... Nollywood! Na wa o!

But let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Culled from www.rense.com

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so... It's time to shut UP!

If you think English is easy, try reading the following sentences with the right intonations and stress patterns(Consult your dictionary for further help)
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear...
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend
Is it easy or not?

dhamiedan: OH MY GOD, dis is stupidity in d highest order..............................aw can some1 use an amount dat can better d lives of so many ppl to buy jst a T-shirt? na wa oooooooooooooooooo

Ever heard of the word 'ostentatious'? That is the word and not stupidity... it can only be stupid if the man's entire asset is #15m but for a billionaire? Its just a show off!

Something like that has happened to me before,my tuition was sent to me but I've not withdrawn it, but the day I decided to withdraw it, I learnt that #29,000 has been withdrawn from my account WTF! I rushed to the bank and they told me the transaction happened via ATM at Marina, Lagos and there was nothing they could do about it... meanwhile Marina office is the head office of the bank so, it's possible that its the handwork of one of their staff because, I was schooling in Osun state and its been long since I left Lagos... well I left everything to God and stopped using UBA

Nice write-up, I really want to get something doing as well, even with the financial crisis I'm currently facing, I know I could just start from somewhere... no matter how little.

Oh boy! no be small thing o! You don chop 'assaulted' meat so tey you wan march the 'flauwar'... Those pictures are damn hilarious! Ki lo de!?

Rex123: I understand how you feel... I have gone thru similar experience and it wasn't funny at all. One sunday evening, I decided to take a stroll, as I was walking down the street of my neighbourhood one mad man approached me, held my shirt and accused me of sleeping with his wife. He beat and spat at me. It was the intervention of some area boys that saved me. Now me and mad man no dey jam for road o.

It's not funny at all... but believe me, you guys got me laughing my ar.se out! Especially the OP who stopped listening to a radio station because of Okara, LOL! The phobia for mental people hasa actually became a mental problem for you really.

So APC don become two now abi? Many things dey happen for obodo Nigeria o!

Akpa ife: I will advise u 2 leave d school n study elsewhere

You donot have any idea of how these people are interconnected, even if you get to another school, their members there has a way of detecting that you are an ex-cultist and you will be re-invited to the frat again unless you are not schooling anywhere in Nigeria again. Maybe na to just beg the new number one say liver don fail you na him make you run comot for your previous school and you wan do again maybe im go just fit hear you...

Soso990240: And why should dis mk d front page? Dis is fake..d poster jst wan 2 start up anoda tribal ward..go find work.

What is the problem of you igbos? How will this start tribal war now? So the thread should not make frontpage because igbo is not included. SMH na wa for you o!

K4: hmmmm op wetin concern u 4 yvonne n nadi mata? ameebo. or how is it naija related? or this no be nairaland again? crap. and d mod who knack am 4 fp sef im head no dey house.

Funny how 'who wore it better' threads make frontpage these days

ItsModella: LMFAOO!!! anybody who swallows that pastor's story hook, line and sinker is a complete möron. I mean, how can a pastor even portray armed robbers in some sort of positive light all in the name of tithes? mschew!!

Do they think we are all learners?

No mind dem, they have turned churches to business centre and those stories are marketing stategies to get money from those who believed their BS!

Dem no get house ni? Ki l'on wa lo se ninu igbo?

When I saw this topic, i thot it happened in the west not knowing that it is in our very own naija... iyawo olele! on your own (OYO)lo wa o!

majorgr: its calld Chrisbrownic and Rhihannitic kind of love.

Exactly! suffering and smiling... o d'igba to ba pa e k'o to mo b'o se n lo

Afam4eva: At least those inter-state buses are better. Have you entered a danfo in Lagos before? I don't know how people can enter a bus that's supposed to be in the trash. These buses are accidents that have already happened.

LWKMD!! Those are buses I call apology buses, cos when you board them your cloth might get torn, or your white got stained and the conductor will be like: "alaye e ma binu jare!" (bros no vex abeg!) in his weed infected voice LMAO!!

Most institutions where women are heads will always feel the impact of not having a male leader. The NYSC issue is a case study and these female principals beating students this much because of hijab is disheartening! I'm not a muslim but the last time i checked, there is a freedom of religion in this country nah haba! Ee de je k'Onikaluku s'esin to ba wuu!

ogugua88: [size=13pt]^^ Kai.

Some things should just come naturally. If you love your wife or girlfriend and see that she's struggling with some things or even a baby in her arms, won't you offer to help? Most times, you don't even have time to offer. You just take what you can from her so that she's not struggling anymore, and often times, that's a handbag.[/size]

feminine A: My husband carries it well with style and dignity!!he loves the way people stare at him. And the fact that he's carrying my bag does not reduce him as a man or. My husband so----.

ogugua88: [size=13pt]^^ Kai.

Some things should just come naturally. If you love your wife or girlfriend and see that she's struggling with some things or even a baby in her arms, won't you offer to help? Most times, you don't even have time to offer. You just take what you can from her so that she's not struggling anymore, and often times, that's a handbag.[/size]

I know that's what ladies will like, your man carrying your handbag? I will look like a fool doing that honestly! N'igba ti won o f'ori mi gba paaro! If she's carrying a baby, I prefer to carry the baby than to carry her handbag at least i go no say na my pikin i carry.

Even that 'freeze' that talks with a lisp?

They dare not say anything against the supposed 'men of God'