₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Uhm babe. Waste of time.

He's not the one to be objective.

Obviously he believes in a situation where there is threat to life, one can divorce. Duuhhhhh. This is basically what I've been saying. But in order for him to feel good about himself and make others seem like they are the bad folks, he had to twist it and claim I'm advocating divorce for flimsy reasons.
That's not the kind of person you want to debate with.

For me it's not worth it.
I don't know what some posters always feel like they have to argue or say something about your opinion only for them to try change your own goal post for you when they are caught being insincere.

You're impossible, aren't you!

I'm anti-divorce and you are pro-divorce who believes it can be wielded for issues which can be solved and resolved with other pliable options.

Go ahead and lebel me as subjective , it's been your stock-in-trade on here.

Nice looks by the way.

shaybebaby:
Despite all you have written, I have the benefit of ALL perspectives being experience from relationship, to marriage to parenthood and back again.
Morality has no place in this discourse, rather reason.

I reiterate, LIFE happens, without stating all the things that go wrong in everyone's life, it is part of living and no one is exempt.

You cannot assert how it affects peeps, you have no knowledge or control of that. However how well anyone survives life is how adaptable they are, to the good and the bad.
How they change perspectives in order to come out stronger..no different to evolution really.

shaybebaby:
What do you mean by destinies by the way? That people must tow a path preordained and whatever lies along it must be endured?

Anyone that keeps wondering what more they could have done obviously is not thinking the right way. What could have been done differently might be a more apt question. But seeing as we cannot answer that question for errant partners, we take our own answers and apply to the next relationship, perhaps picking a more suitable mate due to the lessons of the past.

cococandy:
Oh. I just saw this before replying your last post. So there are some situations where you believe marriage can be dissolved?
why going on like you're saying something different?

I'd hate to have wasted all this time debating with someone who's saying the same thing with me.

So which is it, do you or don't you believe that sometimes some situations require the marriage dissolved. Or was that a typo up there.

@the emboldened, so what have you been arguing about then?



In as much as you think of me as new to this part, I've been here very long to know you're pro-divorce.

And I disagree with you that a beating husband has earned the penalty of a divorce anymore than a slovenly, abusive wive has.


Your "extreme cases" are in most instances, going by your precedents, minor domestic scuffles.

You are wont to often advocate divorce as a quicksilver approach to most marital malee.

Divorce is only for the instance of actual intention to take life or a direct threat to it.

Every other brawl should be settled with the option of divorce far off the table.

cococandy:
Fair point.

But like I said, divorce is an extreme solution required in extreme circumstances.
So in my opinion there are situations requiring separation while there are some requiring outright divorce.

There's no amount of idealism that changes the fact that sometimes one is better off divorced from a horrible partner. Some people have died because they preferred to bargain with the devil.
Human beings can be wicked. If anyone unwittingly finds themselves married to such a person, the only solution is a divorce.

And there is true moving on. Albeit never easy but always better than being limbo of prolonged separation.

Now that is all I've to say on the matter. The topic is overflogged. Seems you're new to these parts

shaybebaby:
Only if time hasn't been taken to reflect on the lessons of that failed union. It is possible to do such and apply the lessons in the next relationship.

shaybebaby:
Marriage is no different to a relationship, it's still two people in it managing their interactions albeit within a formal contract.

shaybebaby:
When that contract is broken, the only difference is that walking away has legal ramifications in addition to the emotional ones that comes with all relationship breakdowns.

When marriage breaks down, destinies are altered and sometimes the rift in the psyche never bridges with time. There's that nagging guilt, you could have done more, even when it isn't your fault. Ladies have this feeling more

shaybebaby:
My marriage didn't fail because of the usual reasons i.e abuse, infidelity or even absence of love. Relationships are more complex than that.
It failed because I believed I was the one fighting to keep it whilst the ex refused to acknowledge or even address our issues..burying his head in the sand so to speak.
The power was in his hands if only he acknowledged the problem, he didn't. I had two choices, accept the status quo or walk away. I chose the latter.

A year on, I mourn the death of our union but I am happier. I have found love again and so has he. Life happens but ultimately, the power lies in our hands to make what we want of it.
Marriage, separation, divorce..it is up to us to shape as we want.

cococandy:
Because divorce is an extreme solution. So news flash: (for those who have difficulties with understanding) nobody should be recommending it because one person lost their job or bla bla bla inconsequential reasons.

It is the solution in such 'extreme' cases like 'I painted' above.

And what is the difference between separation and divorce except that both parties are still holding each other from moving on even though they clearly can't and don't want to live together?

5minsmadness:
Indeed a lot has happened. Bachelors have gotten married and women have given birth

A dead person told me that time is a very valuable resource. Decided to listen to his advice. Nairaland uses other people's time to make money and it's owner doesn't share

Am I speaking in parables?

I have been reading your poetry on the low-key for a while now, I must say u have a way with words. I suspect that's how 1steva was conquered . Will definitely vote!
Happy Sunday!

You've said so much in just one short post!

And it's a fact, that's why I use NL as a pavement for my indulgences

Thanks a lot man, I appreciate you.

EfemenaXY:
Would you in the same vein advocate for a separation if the tables were turned? Or is it one rule for her and a different rule for him?

cococandy:
Well that's your opinion sir
But in mine, being divorced is better than having a husband who belongs to everyone or has a side job as a panel beater who uses the wife to practice.

cococandy:
is it even an offense? Except the fellow is deliberately refusing to try.

Just that some ladies have their priorities messed up. They'd rather stick with a disrespectful wife-beating and cheating azz husband who 'provides' than an honestly loving one who's not so buoyant.

See the friend that has a 'perfect' husband
SMH. Sitting there collecting STDs, beatings and mouth lashing. When she is the one who should be looking for a way out of her toxic marriage.

5minsmadness:
Wait forst...
Where my wedding card

You've been AWOL or MIA for long, bro.

A lot has happened.

But thank God you're back, hopefully for good this time.

Check my signature for poetry and vote

forgiveness:
Is lagos more expensive than Abuja?

HaneefahRN:
And what made you think I like rap?

I don't

5minsmadness:
Le.zz, come and encourage your gf.
Meanwhile, very sexy dp @firstev.a

Lolz, I've been doing that, bro. As witty as she is, she loves short stories more.

And I do send her all my hand written threads for her perusal before posting

Nice narrative and a true depiction of the character of most married women.


And that has been the bane of some marriages.

The needless penchant for petty competition and out-shinning their neighbours' wives.

A man who finds a wife that's true to reality has found a treasure here on earth.

I'm a killer and a lover;
I come with a gun and a rose

firstEVA:
I am too lazy to read lengthy write ups.

Wish I could take your first position, babe.

How are you doing? The story is amazing, Funny enough, I knew the plot just after reading 1/3 of the story.

Women are always having the need to paint their marriages as enviable to their friends.

Living the lie is an easy take for most women.

b]
I'm a killer and a lover;
I come with a gun and a rose [/b]

misspicy:
its high time people start paying money to open a thread





cc seun

HaneefahRN:
Dagrin Barrack O grin, I could remember the social night we held just for his tribute then. Your fans miss you. Was never much of a fan though.

HaneefahRN:
Lolz

HaneefahRN:
What the boy was trying to do is bad but I still pity him

Reminds me of an experience I had when I went to greet my sis in school, we slept off without closing the window, we woke up to a guy trying to get in after cutting the thin sheet covering the window. I was still asking jamb question asking who he was before we ran outside screaming notifying our neighbours, they came to check and the guy was still hiding at the back of the window probably waiting till they left. Thank God they combed everywhere, he was lucky to escape sha. I only saw he had a black glove on, later noticed he managed to take my purse that was on the cupboard near the window. After then I look at any guy I see in that area with suspicion.

MRNipples:
Le.zzlie abi na le.zz, what u wrote up there is some funny shiit i swear, mostly on the part where u lied i have lordsamurai 1 to ten and samurai 1 to 10 monikers, lol believe me i am a big loss to ur camp, i am an alpha and i have a pack in romance,celebrity and family session that will make or rather made tohpahz won last year but anyways ur camp is quarter to collapse, its only a matter of time, just watch out and see. numerous alternates, past of e-bully, e-wars, scandals, blackmail,betrayal, a thief nominee etc. i will advice u all to step down b4 d tourny start proper becaus the hit ur camp is about to receive will be terrifying than 9/11.

Your inability to put your opinions and assertions in proper English has marred your chances of getting e- correspondence from me.

I'm sure who ever you campaign for will do well to note your not-so-enviable uniqueness

It's beer time and you will do well to deny me the stench of your misperception and aphasia

People with brain lesions don't bother me.

MRNipples:
SEE all this alternate monikers that the forking knight group is using to nominate her will be cut off, a look at all ur posts shows that u are a memba of knight group hence about 99% of ur posts are conversations with their members. mr man or woman, nobody is a child here, i hope dygeasy cut this cheating off when the tourny start proper.

[b]Relax man,you're coming off as too tensed!!!

The KNIGHTS aren't responsible for your delusions of persecution or your misplaced assessment of your worth!!!

If you keep seeing every handle as the KNIGHTS, I'm going to suspect you took the wrong pills for your severe visual hallucinations or perceptual disturbances!!!

Mimzy never claimed the story was hers! She admitted it right from the go it was a shared story from an offline group.


Now the lady's got some uncommon writing and creative abilities that seem to unsettle you. Other threads of hers can easily prove she's intelligent, constructive and has a knack for sound literary prosody!

I have created so many threads myself, both personally penned and those I curled offline, and, sometimes I got carried away by my need to share the story with my online readership I forget to add a link!!!


Now, the frequency with which she creates thread ruffles the rails of your sanity , no doubt, but then , can I ask you to cease screaming/typing as someone who's on the verge of a seizure ?


.....and I did read where you claimed to have withdrawn your support.

The KNIGHTS have done solicitation and appeal for support from respectable and well-meaning romanlanders, but not from you. Not even your dozens of alternates..

Saintsamurai
MrNipples
Lordsumarai
Softappless1/10
Lordsumarai 1/10 etc

Not all these monikers which have become catchphrases for nuisances, petty banter, unintelligent comments and desperate püssy-poaching qualified you for our support.


Gaymurai, we'll never need you for support!!!

You're a social cum internet plague!!!![/b]

joseph1832:
Okay le.zz, you win. Do have a dickful night ahead. Lol.

Mindfulness:
I am lost here, which friend?

Mindfulness:
LOL