₦airaland Forum

yetseyi:
I have always said nairalanders are never realistic


What kind of grudge did they have against her parents that even at her dads death they still couldn't forgive and at least call to commiserate with her mum.

Even if they have been quarelling at least not to the point of the death of the dad now.

What kind of family is that.

Who among us here will be happy that his/her in-laws refuse to call his/her mum to at least greet her about the death of his/her dad simply because the dead person and his wife didn't call them at some point when they almost had an accident when coming back from their sons wedding.


Do they hold grudges against a dead man or am I the only one reading that part of the story?

Op needs to be concerned, she should be worried, what kind of value system does that family have.


The elder brother even came and saw the bereaved woman and didn't even greet her, if not for anything at least for the death of her husband.

What if the wives family also decides to hold a grudge against the hubby that if he had driven him home and not at the bustop he may not have died at that time.

What kind of people behave like this, there's something wrong somewhere, even if there is a bigger issue, you dont quarell with people even in death or their time of mourning - at least where I come from.

I feel its quite immature to behave this way.

You should be concerned about that family really concerned and pray too.

What you typed above might win the argument, but do you think it can bring peace? Peace is what the OP is looking for.

Twinkleme:
Hello everyone, i had to create a new profile to write this story in order to get your mature and genuine advise on this issue which will be appreciated. I will try to answer your questions while also making the narration short.

Husband- I'm married to a nice and pleasant man who up to two years ago was my friend and anchor but today he's a different person in many ways but this story is not about him.

Me-I'm an average person who tries to live life the best way I can. My MAJOR flaws according to my husband is that I like things being done right as much as possible. For examples,; if we have plan to do anything-savings, paying school fees, keeping secrets, etc. I expect us to live up to our word on such matters except we both agree to change things. My husband feels I am difficult and impossible because I won't condone wrong doing and i like things being done appropriately.(i understand mistakes but not persistent wrong doing).

My family-we are generally independent and so for example since I got married, my people has not requested any form of monetary assistance from my husband and they don't visit much except they come to assist or see my mum who stays with us to care for our child...

My husband's family-he is the youngest of the family. They are all older and in their up bringing older onse are ALWAYS right no matter what.

Issue-since I got married and put to bed twice, my husband's family has NEVER called my parents (before or after the wedding) to acknowledge this or thank them. When I was wondering what the issue is "my husband said his parents almost had an accident when they travelled back home after our wedding and that my parents did not call them (none of us me or my family members was aware of this until about two years ago). Right now, unfortunately, I lost my Dad who came to see us and the grandchild I just had...My husband dropped him at a bus stop he's suppose to take a bus home from-he died in an accident on his way home. Now, my in-laws have still not called mum and my husband expect me to have a good relationship with his family or else he will be worse than he is. It is so bad that his elder brother came to the house and did not greet my mum, this is not the first time and my husband said he spoken with him about it.


Please advise how you will handle this situation as a man or woman.

Also, is marriage about becoming a slave to one's husband's family?
How do you have a good relationship with a family who does not acknowledge your family?

By the way, my husband suggested burying my Dad in a vault (leaving his body for the cemetery people to do whatever they like after the burial)because he felt we had a week to bury my father and this caused a major issue with my brothers who felt hurt by his statement in view of how my Dad died. Since then, he said my brothers has been direspecting him-one of them has never even been to my house since I got married.

Forgive the typos.

Seun and co please move this to front page.

I'm cc chaircover and co

I perceive a beef going on between the two in laws caused simply by who kicks the ball into play first. Over time, it appears that lots of pride have set in.
Since it bothers you this much and having known your in laws grouse from your husband, try and work on your family to apologise to your in laws to heal the relationship. I suggest this because your people not calling to show concern about their journey back home appears to be at the bottom of the issue.

wildchild1:
Freeze will definitely get a Job with another radio station with bigger pay, he's a Radio big... only Olisa and IK are bigger than him in their industry

No competitor hires the other's dump. That is why it is more honorable to resign. His own case will be compounded by the story behind the sack.

eminikansoso:
Both of you are wrong.
Basketmouth have forgotten that during his jokes, he too might have stepped on other peoples' toes without knowing.

One joke no one should crack is about someone's wife. It is very irresponsible and offensive. Have you heard Basketmouth making such jokes?

Toks2008:
Ogbeni sit your ass down and get this straight.

I am a holy spirit filled,heaven bound believer in Christ and I have led many people to Christ not by preaching heresy but the truth from the bible so sit your ass down and learn right now.

Our body is the temple of God so smoking and "drunkenness" is a sin cos they destroy your body.

Nicotine and alcohol are substances that damage your organs.

Self servicing is a different ball game but the mistake you keep making is mixing up addiction with the subject matter.

Is eating food a sin? hell no but gluttony is a sin and its even in the bible.Any act whether good or bad if done in excess can be detrimental to us so stop mixing things up.

People like you make it difficult for people to make heaven by enslaving yourself in man made philosophy'.People like you go about condemning trouser wearing, weaveons and so on making people to see salvation as bondage.

Please read this thread of mine to have your inner mind open.

https://www.nairaland.com/2579060/8-false-teachings-churches-biblical

I have been a believer since 1987 and I know my stands.

Watching porn is fornication,self servicing while watching porn is fornication but when you are so filled with sexual passion and you are not married you are free to ease off with your imagination if you can but if you have the grace to control yourself good for you.

But if your heart condemns you if you do it then stop it..PERIOD

What you look at and your thoughts(Mth 5:28) thereafter is what provokes the impulse for masturbation. Hear this "Put on the Lord Jesus and and make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the LUST thereof" Romams 13:14.

Brotherly advise:
Stop propagating and defending these heresies on this forum because so many impressionable minds might be reading. Ask yourself if this your message, though very convenient, was inspired by the Spirit of God or the flesh. Masturbation can be conquered with more Godly thoughts. Most people were there before.

Finally, remember this:
But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in and [a]acknowledge and cleave to Me to stumble and sin [that is, who entices him or hinders him in right conduct or thought], it would be better ([b]more expedient and profitable or advantageous) for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be sunk in the depth of the sea.
Mth 18:6(Amp)

Happy Sunday!

ireneony:
It's better to study bsc/first degree in uk than masters.
Op you doing your masters is not the problem. The only barrier you have is u don't have work experience. If had work in Nigeria before leaving nigeria, my brother, would've been looking for you.

Very untrue. Countless number of people have left their comfortable jobs and sojourned abroad for Masters degree only to come back and start lobbying for the same class of job they left without success. If you dare leave Naija for any reason to fritter away your hard earned savings on oversea Msc, just ensure the system will absorb you there after your studies or you face a bleaker chances on return.

Aufbauh:
This man is pathetically shameless and empty. In a civilized clime he should be going through retribution and penance.

If the above stated achievements of GEJ by Reno Omokri is the only bragging rights of the Jonathan administration in the era of oil boom then the past military government should be applauded.

Please list the bragging rights of Buhari so far after all the pre-election noise. APC is a modern day scam. We know better now.

An observation:
I am still waiting for Sani's rebuttal of of Sanusi's sucker punch. Both are immediate past successive governors of our economic powerhouse, CBN and they agreed to a large extent that the APC's government needed a reappraisal of their methods of government. Sani obviously cannot rebuke the Emir without political consequences that is why he is trying shine with Soludo. Feudalism is slavery and slaves are always cowards.

ItsMeAboki:
Such comments are no longer surprising since your Christian values are continuously being revised and watered down for the sake of modernity: fornication and having children out of wedlock are no longer abominations; homosexuality tolerated and even condoned by the Christian Church which admits openly gay priests.
So why wouldn't you make such snide remarks when it is acceptable for your women to attend service dressed like these and even a half naked girl could go up and meet your pope.

Well, it may be all good for you Christians to degrade your values;however, Muslims would continue to remain steadfast and proud of theirs; they shall not allow themselves to be drawn down the ongoing spiral of decadence - no matter the name calling and provocation.

You might be right. In Christianity, there is no compulsion in moral issues. Mortals do not enforce moral standards and mete out punishment to perceived defaulters. It is between them and God who is the ultimate Judge.
This is in contrast to the forced piety Islamic system impose on their largely unwilling adherents enslaved with threats of death which readily turns them to commiting unthinkable evil in closets or outside the watch of their equally sinful watchers. This is why you will barely identify then in the SS and SE except the impoverished ones. BTW, if you are looking for chronic homosexuals, just take a trip to Saudi Arabia. Even the Royal family is deep in it.

yommen:
I as a Yoruba, am seriously hurt that ibos are still being forced to be Nigerians. It's my utmost desire that they have their wish. The development in the west here is not oil money but Cocoa money from our great fathers. We Yorubas had our structures, culture, arts, music and trade and etc systems in place before the white man came to force us into a marriage of force.

I read that the ibos were refining crude oil. They had it, we didn't have crude oil. Would we have refined what we didn't have? Of course we had palm kernel and other plants! And we were processing what we had. Some 'omo o ri ru e ri' should not come here and speak baldadash. We are peace-loving people and live with other people peacefully.

Moreover, we never ever had anything to prove to anybody. It is however in their process of trying to prove what is not that many of them involve themselves indrug trafficking business that makes them to end up in death rows in other countries.

Crime is inter-tribal. It is personal attitude. Quit hating.

[quote author=alawaiss post=48719191]The student who insulted the prophet was attack and killed by his fellow colleagues not Mob. The other 7persons were killed when they tried 2 boggle a house set on fire by d angry citizens over his attept 2 set him free.
America ( chiristians} are killing muslims in many countries eg; Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria etc whilst the Israelis( jews) are killing Muslims in palastine. Does dat means chiristianity is a religion of massacre?
For peace 2 rain, we must tolerate one another nd respect our differences includin religion affiliation. B4 condemning Muslim 4dja reactions, y dnt u condemn instigators of violence who make unacceptable speeches? [America.

Extreme foolishness. America is a secular state that accommodates all races and religions. Can you compare the the level of freedom in America to that of Saudi et al?

jegz25:
why can't he respect other poeple's religion?...is he d only christian in d north?

What did the guy do that constituted disrespect for Islam? Please enlighten us since you have already sat in judgment over him. You hate Christians and slaughter them at will and turn around to blame them. How many times have you heard that a christian killed a muslim over blasphemy?

muteeu:
you consider the bombing and slaughtering of the innocent, defenceless people-worshippers, the aged, women, children, buyers and sellers in malls etc- jihaad, you aren't different from non Muslims in their famed misconception of the term.
The best jihaad is the jihaad against your whims. "And for they who fear the standing before their Lord and deny their souls their selfish desire, verily Paradise is their abode" - Qur'aan, chapter NIGHT.
Yes, qitaal (war) is the biggest jihaad but do you forget that the Prophet, alaihiSSalaam gained more reverts to Islaam after the hudaibiyyah peace treaty than through jihaad? Do you not remember that self defence triggered qitaal?
Yes, the Prophet Muhammad, sallaLlaahu alaihi wa aalihee wa sallam, said "whosoever dies without fighting or intending to fight dies a hypocrite." Have you forgotten the context of this statement? Do you also fall in the category of the ignoramuses who mistake this statement for a call to butchery and bloodthirst? Pity!
There were three sahaabah who came to Prophet Muhammad, sallaLlaahu alaihi wa aalihee wa sallam, and embraced Islaam. They thereafter lodged in another companion's house. When a war broke out, one of them was picked and he was martyred. During another, the second was picked and he too was martyred. The third never fought. He died on his bed, 'peacefully'.
Their host, in his dream saw the trio in jannah. The shocker he got was that the last to die who didn't fight any war led them in paradise. The second to be martyred was second while the first to get martyred was the last on the queue. Their host narrated this to the Prophet, alaihiSSalaam.
The Prophet Muhammad, sallaLlaahu alaihi wa aalihee wa sallam, responded thus: "Are you surprised? There is none more honorable than the believer who lives long glorifying and magnifying Allaah's name."
So the one who would have fought if war was necessitated but didn't, as his leader never called him, lived long engaging in other forms of worship, emerged the most favored by Allaah!
The young man arrested while attempting to go join ISIS caused his mother a big problem. The poor woman has been in coma since hearing of his involvement in terrorism. Perhaps he forgot that Allaah's pleasure lies in parents' pleasure? Perhaps he forgot that he sinned against Allaah by attempting to embark on an expedition without their consent? His father too is in shock right now. So much about seeking Allaah's pleasure through jihaad.
Aboo Bakr assiddeeq, the first khaleefah (caliph) after the Prophet, alaihiSSalaam, gave jihaad rulings thus:
1) Don't kill women
2) Don't kill children
3) Don't kill Priests, Rabbis, Hermits etc
4) Don't cut down economic trees
5) Don't kill domestic animals
6) Don't attack places of worship
I ask you, brothers and sisters, which of these rules have ISIS, BH and their likes not broken?
Do these rules not point to qitaal as being strictly a war against an army?
Also, who is the Muslim leader here who has sent our fighters to Sooriyyah on qitaal errand? Do you fight without a leader? Can you say sincerely that we have a leader other than the Sultaan of Sokoto? Why have you decided to pretend he doesn't exist?
I believe you disapprove of the manner of his emergence. But did the Prophet, alaihiSSalaam, not admonish us to accept and obey our leader even if we believe he isn't qualified?
If you believe the ISIS leader is the leader of the entire Ummah, how did he emerge? Is this how the sahaabah chose a leader for the Muslim Ummah?
This perceived jihaad is a mistake too costly to dabble into. Save your lives and do better things with same. Stay here and fight the most needful jihaad; against ignorance, voodoo, hate etc. Learn and propagate Islaam patiently and sincerely . Excerpts from yesterday's discussion on "Contemporary 'jihaad' in Borno, Somalia, ISIS etc. Should Nigerians troop there to assist their 'Islamist' fighters?

Oga please stop wasting the space typing irrelevancies. People that need this enlightenment are obviously not here; they cannot read. So go to Zamfara and mount this enlightenment, that is if they believe you are truly a Muslim.

muteeu:
many of u still embattle in hatred lol

Wrong! When anyone kills in the defence or in the name of his religion, that religion should go on trial. Islam is usually on trial for killings because of this.

hagmond1:
Did I hear you say pity,don't let me remind you how some 3 million monkeys were starved to death.

Coward. How is the starvation of the the 3 million monkeys related to the escaping of the NADECO cowards in the face of Abacha?

hagmond1:
This guy is a matured ret@rd.
the guy in question named his dog after his neighbour's father in a predominant Hausa quarters in Ogun state,how did president buhari get into this,if the Hausas bounce on the buffoon for his suicidal act,y'all will scream to high heavens,telling the world how Hausa are killing you since their brother is now the president.
Reno would only remember how Aisha called fayose a dog but not how fayose said many unprintable things,including wishing death on buhari before and after the elections on national dailies,reno is also blind to the fact that Jonathan called Yoruba elders touts,but angry that Soyinka called Patience an hippo,the same Soyinka that protested and supported the emergence of the otuoke dunce.

See the manner you have contaminated this beautiful piece by Reno with so much tribal venoms. This guy simply addressed the misplaced actions of NPF of giving serious attention to non-issues while failing to address serious ones, and you have succeeded in mentioning the three ethnic groups in your very short post. Be healed!

lafuria1:
It's like the anger isnt about the crime the hausa man committed but why he did it in an igbo land I guess. I'm. Thinking what if it was an igbo man that committed the crime, will the youths start killing igbos.

Obviously the crime isn't the problem, it's the hausa man.
Why go kill innocent hausas, the perpetrator was killed which is good, why extend it beyond that.

Deterrence.

Spicycat:
My question is How do people know that the guy is really Hausa by tribe, is it because he speaks the language which off cause a lot of people understand and speak because they were born in the northern part of the country. Or maybe because he wears dresses like Hausa which off cause is worn by all irrespective of the tribe or religion of the person.

They must have asked Google.

maclatunji:
Biko, Abia, Ebonyi, Large parts of Anambra, remove Enugu city from Enugu and what you have is a very poor region.

Pure delusion. Mr Man Leave your small hamlet and broaden your view. Will not argue further with you.

maclatunji:
And the Southeast remains among the most impoverished regions with able men trooping out of it every day.

Boasting does not fit you at all. Noisy braggart

Which south east is impoverished. Perish that thought and leave your small enclave and tour around the east and get your mind blown. Which other SW state can match SE in development? The usual chorus: Lagos ; where all Yoruba's are from which incidentally is a no-mans-land.

Dragonking:
Why did ipob go and beg nigerdeltans in NDA and mend to tell Buhari to release their director? Why couldn't they fight for his release themselves? Let's start from there.

Please ignore this nuisance. When you should speak up against the Hausa/Fulani serial molestation on your own land, you guys will go under. Ipob has left no one in doubt that they can take care of themselves any day/time.

bantudra:
ofcourse its faulty...we all know that...thats why we become automaticaly,law abiding people in western-nations and disobey laws easily in nigeria...

we all know its faulty....

sorry,,,we can not release this guy....he behaves like a demon........how many biafrans is he ready to sacrifice to get his way??....is this the only way??...

caught in a hotel-room with a prostitute??,,while your wife was pregnant??...what??....

whaaaaaaaaaaaaattt...

does he even have biafra in his head the ol time sef??.... ...what??..

Eh, even if he was caught caught with a mermaid in a hotel, leave am. That's one of the reasons we love him resoundingly. But Saint, are you without sin? Judge not!

bantudra:
ofcourse its faulty...we all know that...thats why we become automaticaly,law abiding people in western-nations and disobey laws easily in nigeria...

we all know its faulty....

sorry,,,we can not release this guy....he behaves like a demon........how many biafrans is he ready to sacrifice to get his way??....is this the only way??...

caught in a hotel-room with a prostitute??,,while your wife was pregnant??...what??....

whaaaaaaaaaaaaattt...

does he even have biafra in his head the ol time sef??.... ...what??..

Eh, even if he was caught caught with a mermaid in a hotel, leave am. That's one of the reasons we love him resoundingly. Saint, are you without sin? Judge not!

cyberdurable:
As Usual our Religion of Piss have taken over... He is a Convert

It was the condition he had to meet before he was permitted to marry the daughter of one Tunisian prince that supervised the crash of his career. I heard they divorced but not before the seeds were planted.

omonla555:
He is doing it for his fatherland, so Eto, Drogba and others have done same even C. Ronaldo for Portugal.

It is no news.



What is the fuse about what I wrote here? I don't owe anyone apology for this comment. Nigeria made Mikel and he is giving back to the country. Other stars have done same to their fatherland. Some people just hate Nigeria for a futile agitation for a country that may never be. We have no other country than Nigeria and I want to let you guys know that, there is no amount of hatred or curse you place upon Nigeria that you will not be a partaker. What have I said to warrant some guys saying rubbish or bad belly?
Mikel has not done enough and will still do more.

http://www.flexygist.com/2016/08/12/footballer-asisat-oshoala-donates-football-kits-to-former-grassroots-team-and-schools-in-lagos/

Kindly elucidate on how Nigeria made Mikel.

bbbabes:
This is worth sharing:

According to this Facebook user. https://www.facebook.com/samsetsintl/posts/620680304757068 , It could have been only God's intervention that saved this littel baby from the collapse of about 500Kg of cement that could have crushed him to deeath instantly. The baby was supposed to be sleeping on the mat behind him, but in a miraculous way, he was moved from their some few minutes before the incident.

Read what he wrote:

Something great took place at my wife's cement shop on Saturday evening. lt was only God who could have done such a miracle no other! Her sales girl's baby was laying down sleeping on a math that is close to where d cements are parked, soddenly the baby started crying, d mother carried her trying to make her go back to sleep.

As soon as she slept n d mother wanted to lay her down on d math d baby opened her eyes n started crying again. Then within few minutes the mother lifted her, 9 BAGS of cement fell on the mat where d baby was supposed to be laying on!

CAN U IMAGINE WAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED IF D BABY WAS STILL LAYING ON DAT MATH SLEEPING!! IT IS ONLY GOD COULD DO SUCH MIRACLE.

Pls my people, praise HIM ooo, the Almighty God with my Family oooo!!!!!

http://www.blackberrybabes.com/2016/08/this-baby-was-miraculously-saved-from.html

PS 91 vs 11 comes to mind.
¶¶¶This kind God ooooo, I never see your type oooooo, This kind God oooo, blessed be thy holy name¶¶¶.
You are indeed great and your ways are beyond our comprehension. Thank you daddy!

wizzakosh:
which of the portharcourt, the one wey I dey or na 4 rwanda. You lied. Here in port, they never thought of biafra for once.

Sharrap there and stop spreading falsehood. Igweocha was shut down months ago during the last demonstration. From Elene junction, to Artillery to Rumuola to Lagos bus stop.

dynamite11:
I have discussed with my wife, I have told her I'm not comfortable with her mom been around and to burst your bubble she is the one person my wife respects the most and anything she says is final, I have been having this problem for months I rented out my former place on the mainland and bought a house in Lekki it's pretty far from where she stays because she have to drive for about 3 hours before getting here, I have relocated twice this year. I can't buy anymore house this year I have to invest the little I have left

Then man up and tell her. If she dares come uninvited again, do something very embarrassing including locking her out. The truth is that your MIL sees herself as the head of your home and the ealier you wrestle your family from her grip the better. As for your wife, do not bother about her. If you draw the battle line, she will choose you over her mum. She might not be comfortable with her mum's behaviour but having gotten used to her domineering lifestyle might be afraid to call her to order but silently wishing you will. Please define the boundaries of your home and defend it.

Emu4life:
Dz ar d kind of things d whitemen want and datz why dey ar against ISLAM..am sure most of d xtian folks here will hail dz foolish/barbaric act...THANK GOD AM A MUSLIM... AND we gonna keep fighting dz and repel EVEN IF ITS WIT OUR LAST BREATH.

Sin does not know religion. You will be surprised the set of people that patronize the guy more considering the brief freedom Rio Olympics offers.

onnenka:
Vanguard learnt on Sunday, that the leader of the militant gang known as Duba Furejo, AKA, General Duba, a native of Arogbo in Ese-Odo Local Government Area of Ondo State, was arrested 5: pm on Saturday, by operatives of the IRT led by CSP Abba Kyari, at Iyana-School area of Iba, while trying to flee to his home town in Ondo State.
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/08/we-got-n12m-as-ransom-before-releasing-oniba-of-ibaland-suspected-kidnappers/

@matrixme
You refuse to eat your dinner here o. I am serving it afresh for breakfast.

Hedonistically:
This is just a disgusting and deceitful point of view. You don't want a man to ask you who sent you a message and what your relationship with the sender is? You prefer a man that would be deaf and dumb while you Bleep around town? So you are expecting trust to be freely given to you instead of doing your best to earn it? Why are you desperate to protect your so-called 'privacy' if your hands are clean? As the saying goes, a clear conscience fears no accusation!

I have learnt to be very very wary of you girls that are fanatical about being trusted. Anyone who makes noise about unearned and undeserved trust is not someone to be trusted.

Good luck with such rubbish. Only very foolish men would play into the hands of you vipers.

Knockout!.To advocate for privacy in marriage and still expect trust is a no-brainer. As is trust grows on trees.