What are ur thought about this ?

After reading this thread , I have come to the realization that , Nairaland is filled with men with no brain .

bodybuilder:


You, Are you a girl that a rich guy wants to date.

are you the rich guy? Or you want to start a serials of unnecessary questions? Because no be today we dey this Nairaland

Redpillers chop Nairaland, u all disgust me , no one’s opinion is superior because women can’t date broke men like u all, Nairaland seems like the best place to pour ur frustration, while in real Life , no levels

100%

Happy Monday.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Good people can be good and free, that's a decision they'd have to make themselves. Going on the defense, developing trust issues and nursing worries will not help. In our world, everybody is being used, directly or indirectly. Employees are used by employers, Social media uses the social tendencies of people to gain popularity and on and on. You'd have to decide whether you'd be in mutually beneficial grounds with people or they'd be sucking you dry like a parasite.

No need to overthink. Have standards and boundaries and you're good. If you can't, you'd keep feeling used or betrayed in every relationship.

noted.

Ehismarty:



To me been good don’t pay anymore. They use you and get mad when you don’t let them anymore.

I have been nice and good to people who I later realized never deserved it and whenever i remember i still feel hurt.Though that won’t make me change who I am

that won’t make u change who u are but u are more careful on who u love and give ur attention, and evaluating who u think deserve ur love and attention is very difficult and get u thinking. That’s for me tho. I wish we could just be free

Rubbiish:

You have already conquered your fears & I don't see any challenges here. Some persons are fortunate to naturally fight these fears early enough due to their environment, upbringing or type of family & u seem to fall within that class. We all have trust issues due to past experience, so that is a general human issue. Though introverts tend to go the extra mile when it comes to making sacrifice for friends, this always leave us in a bad state, because humans are naturally wicked & will take advantage of anything good. i have made sacrifices for friends till date, but they are things i can still overlook should the relationship go bad. There is no harm in making friends, but let every sacrifice be mutual, don't go the extra mile, so when u get betrayed, u can easily overlook, feel unhurt & move onto the next one.

the ideology of measuring people’s reactions towards you in order to react suit is not as easy as it seems, that’s what actually brings over thinking . after ur daily activities, when u get home you begin evaluate you day and everyone’s reaction and utterances, so u can follow suit. I wish we can be in a world where good people can be good and free, but life ain’t that way. People like using good people

Rubbiish:

Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

i have always been an introvert but quite accommodating and free with people , never shy, but this changed when people I help betray or take my quite and nice character for granted, my biggest fear is not public speaking I just don’t like doing it often , my biggest fear is being betrayed again, I have serious trust issues and this has contributed to me being more to myself and my overthinking, I don’t want to be used by anyone. I want friends and don’t want friends also, yeah and I’m tougher now.

vickyfrancis1:
You get to really understand people when they stay with you. Different characters. Undergraduate days weren't funny

so true

MrBrownJay1:


- how did you assume that she didnt appreciate your effort?
- so now that they dont appreciate your effort, you wanna become a negative person (like them)?!

in life, dont do things expecting any rewards etc, just do them out of your good heart and basta. dont change the good person that you are just because "some" may not appreciate your gesture. a negative person should never take away your positive shine.

noted but it hurts tho. Like people don’t just want it to seem like you did anything for them. I can’t just be allowing people in my space like that .

princeabdul:
it's a trap, don't do it.

really , please explain further

Why is accommodating people always most time backfires , someone I know , asked that I accommodate her for few days , which I did, I was very receptive and made her as comfortable as possible , she’s gone and it seems like she doesn’t even appreciate my efforts . I don’t think I would ever do this again

What are your views and thoughts

Drella:


Happens to me always.
If it's something I can evade,I'll do that.

that’s why I’m always late , if I want to travel I always see myself leaving the house late , not like I was doing anything serious at home. Lol I love my house and alone time too damn much.

Very scary

Weyti concern Ned for romance ?

Home all day yesterday, thinking of going to get a nice meal but just because I don’t wanna go anywhere I am managing the food in my house lol

Kesterballs:


Yes I feel the same, I'm a student in a polytechnic, grew up in an area where you can't be an introvert, so people right from secondary school calls me a thug even down to my polytechnic.

I find it difficult leaving my comfort zones, I only went clubbing twice and I can say I was outside the club those 2 times taking water.

I like making noise or creating scenes but I hate noise myself. From my nd down to HND I don't visit people, I don't even eat at peoples place. My coursemates tell me to visit them during weekends and I'll agree, but I won't show up.

I've apologised so many times that they don even bother inviting me to functions or anything because they know i won't come

@bolded , I don’t think you are an introvert tho. I see u more like a snub or you just find it difficult leaving ur comfort zone , no offense , asin u like disturbing people but u don’t like being disturbed ? Lol

Lol

dovies:
Hi everyone, I found this thread and I want to talk about something that has been bothering me for a few weeks. I've always known myself to be an introvert but I think its getting worse. Don't misunderstand me, I really enjoy my own company. I can stay indoors for days reading, meditating and doing my own things.

Now, I feel my colleagues think I'm snobbish. Recently, we organised a party for someone leaving our workplace and everyone planned the party, to be sincere, I wanted to go, I even got a new cloth and accessories to match. but on that day I just sent a message to the group, telling them I wont be able to come. The next few days at work was not nice for me as some people were not happy that I canceled. I have also been declining a lot of outings from my supervisor as I just want to be alone after work as talking drains my energy. But i think this may affect my chances if any opportunity arise in my job.

Finally, I've been overthinking a lot. I just want to get everything sorted on my head.

Is any other person feeling like this or I'm on my own?

OVERTHINKING? I think that’s one of an introvert most known identity , we are very quite so we tend to notice everything and read meaning to every thing. I’m trying to stop over thinking, it’s not easy it doesn’t even let me focus. So I understand how u feel. Just work on it, life goes on, make a concious efforts not to stress over things.

Neglecting the outside world would have been a bliss but sadly we need each other to survive on this earth, that’s why I think u need to try to attend relevant events with important persons like ur co workers, they are going to misinterpret everything as pride. They obviously want to make u feel bad for canceling , make an effort to explain to them that u were sick or something, don’t make it seem like you just didn’t want to attend.

Like legit . Lol

Xilsbridalhouse:
It’s funny introverts join WhatsApp groups, like seriously? I am one and I don’t want to be added ed to any group that might stress me. I feel introverts want to be left on their own and reading more than chatting.

I totally agree , WhatsApp groups go with a lot of drama , the ones I’m in , I am looking for how to leave but I just can’t. Introverts in a group, what the hell we talking about ? Pointless

Rightboy:
I am an introvert as well, infact mine is the most severe type, but I am a little bit better, I will simply drop some of my attributes as an introvert and I need reactions to it.
1. As a kid growing up when I was asked to speak in public places sometimes I fall seriously ill, when I get to Uni. I joined campus fellowship and they make me an executive that is what really helped my situation a little.
2. I don't associate, I stick to only few trusted friends, if I go out and talk with people, it drains me of my energy, unless I come back to the house and stay quiet, perhaps reading books and positively thinking of how I will become wealthy. Funny enough my Dad actually prefer me staying indoors, it worsen the whole situation.
3. I hardly talk, especially in the mist of strangers. But with my friends, especially when I am happy, your guess is as good as mine.
4. Almost all the ladies I have had something with in the past as a teen growing up, directly or indirectly they all showed me the green light before I could get them down, I will like a girl but the liver will not be there to talk to her.
5. I think alot, and can become depressed through my own imagination alone,.very terrible.
The list continues, let me stop here for now, if I get some reactions I will add more..funny! But so interesting personality.

same here , and I feel that’s the worst attribute about introverts , we are always on our thoughts ,analyzing everything, that’s why it’s harder for us to want to be around people, because we take note of any thinnest behavior.

Ftheophilous:

Yeah, sure. Anything worthwhile is usually hard at first. Things get interesting and fun when you are finally able to manage them properly.
... trust you are good today.

smile* I sure am .

Ftheophilous:

Quite the contrary dear. Behaving in an adverse way so as to prevent a potential backlash that can lead to emotional turmoil is a good survival instinct. But you aren't solely trying to survive, are you? you are also trying to live your life the best way you can - in a manner that suits and makes you happy. Therefore, rather than trying to change your nice self, try to learn how to better manage being hurt because getting hurt by people is an inevitable element in life.

it’s very hard.

Ftheophilous:

Were you referring to an actual personal experience?

Yeah...for some others, it's like taking a walk in the park (changing personality). But it's tiring. Some lucky ones can blend seemingly well while others are said to be weird and awkward causing them to shy away form the public. The best way around this is to build your forte around your mind.

I’m such an emotional person. I hate offending people. I think the better way to keep that fort is not being too nice , then u don’t feel bad when people act like a jerk

Ftheophilous:

Not necessarily. Just learn to adapt to your environment. But this is somehow tasking of introverts because frequent readjustments and readaptations lead to a sense of loss of ones personality and this can somewhat impose a mental toll on us (my opinion)

I agree , the adapting is crazy , you just go to an environment where everyone is mean, especially in a school environment where they see u make mistake and they don’t want to correct you but you on the other hand when they make errors u correct them. Sneaky snakes. U just have to read on your own. Now I have to change my personality. I hate when I have to do that

Sometimes I think it’s terribly wrong to be nice , infact those inspirational quote, that says treat people better than they treat you are big lies ,being nice to people is the beginning of see finish , being nice to people is the beginning of people taking you for granted. Using and manipulating that niceness. Treat people worst than they treat you .

Womanizer:


There is no substitute to a good dick.

The day someone who knows what he's doing handles you it is then you will realise that masturbation is a complete waste of your time

hmmmmm till then