₦airaland Forum

josielewa:
if you don't want emotional attachment or love means you must be stone hearted..i know what am saying...right now, after being in different relationships and offered help, backstabber, i stopped loving, no emotions..you know that u don't give a Bleep attitude...i stopped loving and having emotional attachments..infact, i became more logical in all my dealings, if you like be dying , i don't care, we all gon die one day..

Note: just stop giving a Bleep about people, and you will find peace, love itself is a big burden..Christ loved us all...he carried a big burden by getting burnt( died for our sins), yet look at we humans, we still worse off..
pls,

I wish it was that easy.

SeunTheOwner:
No you can't just live your life. We are created to have feelings, to love, to care, to pity, have empathy and so on.

You can't stop emotional attachments but you can control how you attached yourself to people.

it’s very hard, I swear

Karleb:
CC: ifinger

Fret no more, help is coming.

If I can get a good man with money that gives good head. I will be the happiest person on earth o

Karleb:
Why are people beefing the OP?

Baba, I get your back. Ride on!

And don't stop giving. Giving has a way of making people relax and lose guard around you, because not everyday you meet a giver.

I need a giver in my life I swear

Bouz:
Who broke your heart this time

that is not the bone of contention, is not like you know him or something.

lilvicky68:
By always remembering that it will end in tears..

funny enough when that small glimpse of hope overhaul that thought , u are going to face worse. I just want to be happy, is the too much to ask ??

Sonnobax15:

As long as your heart keep supplying blood to other parts of your body...You should know that what you're seeking for is nearly impossible....

why naw!! I want to cut my heart and throw in the bin , can’t I just live my life

Please I need advice on this, help me

flokii:
I disagree with this.. the money and prestige some of these so called men without degrees have, some PhD holders don't have.
I think the degree she is talking about here is level of education and refinement which the person can get through part-time and distance learning programmes.

the guy is not a millionaire, just a normal guy

Crossroad1:
how will she tell her friends her man has no degree! Really?
But it won't matter if he is an obi Cubana, dangote or otedola right?

those names u mentioned can’t marry someone like her, she won’t accept

shege45:
so a woman with an Msc should not marry a man with a Bsc? una funny

I said no degree, not bsc

adexpa:
I understand that anybody can become anything without degree but it is tough in our part of the world to be relevant without college education. I wouldn't advice you to go into it because you will see your type later in the nearest future and that will lead to adultery and ended up with divorce. There are many things attach to love, love is a product of many things; education, Information, coordination, and physical outlook.

this is the biggest fear .

VeeVeeMyLuv:
Lillian things have changed o...

There are many careers that does not require u to acquire a university degree to pursue.

The president is not degree holder but rose to the rank of a general and 2/3 time/term president.

very encouraging

falcon01:
No she shouldn't marry she needs someone with PHD or a Prof!

not far from the truth

yuping:
Na degree go feed una?

degree no go feed us, but I feel it can mess things up , funny enough it’s not even about his ego but the lady , how’s she going to tell her friends her man has no degree. Just a sec school result , tho the guy is very intelligent but those things do matter

Franzinni:
Do not marry a man educationally below you ... as a woman, it will always ...ALWAYS end bad !

A man's Identy is strongly tied with his ego. And a woman's identity is strongly tied to attention ...

The fact that the man is below her will automatically take some of the attention e.g. ojuaye. Off from her and then resentment creeps in mostly unsuspecting.

The next thing you as a woman will be using it as a tool to shame him and it will hit his ego the wrong way next thi've you both can't stand each other .. Next thing your ex is sliding in your dm and you can't wait to see em.

Marriage la mort! Se fini!

hmmmmm

w1n5t0n:
Another Chinamanda disciple. By no degree, I'm sure you mean illiterate
Men don't care about your degrees or career. It doesn't increase your femininity. It doesn't make you more sexy or attractive.

that’s not what I asked

What are ur thought about this ?

After reading this thread , I have come to the realization that , Nairaland is filled with men with no brain .

bodybuilder:
You, Are you a girl that a rich guy wants to date.

are you the rich guy? Or you want to start a serials of unnecessary questions? Because no be today we dey this Nairaland

Redpillers chop Nairaland, u all disgust me , no one’s opinion is superior because women can’t date broke men like u all, Nairaland seems like the best place to pour ur frustration, while in real Life , no levels

100%

Happy Monday.

nwaezeemmanuel:
Good people can be good and free, that's a decision they'd have to make themselves. Going on the defense, developing trust issues and nursing worries will not help. In our world, everybody is being used, directly or indirectly. Employees are used by employers, Social media uses the social tendencies of people to gain popularity and on and on. You'd have to decide whether you'd be in mutually beneficial grounds with people or they'd be sucking you dry like a parasite.

No need to overthink. Have standards and boundaries and you're good. If you can't, you'd keep feeling used or betrayed in every relationship.

noted.

Ehismarty:
To me been good don’t pay anymore. They use you and get mad when you don’t let them anymore.

I have been nice and good to people who I later realized never deserved it and whenever i remember i still feel hurt.Though that won’t make me change who I am

that won’t make u change who u are but u are more careful on who u love and give ur attention, and evaluating who u think deserve ur love and attention is very difficult and get u thinking. That’s for me tho. I wish we could just be free

Rubbiish:
You have already conquered your fears & I don't see any challenges here. Some persons are fortunate to naturally fight these fears early enough due to their environment, upbringing or type of family & u seem to fall within that class. We all have trust issues due to past experience, so that is a general human issue. Though introverts tend to go the extra mile when it comes to making sacrifice for friends, this always leave us in a bad state, because humans are naturally wicked & will take advantage of anything good. i have made sacrifices for friends till date, but they are things i can still overlook should the relationship go bad. There is no harm in making friends, but let every sacrifice be mutual, don't go the extra mile, so when u get betrayed, u can easily overlook, feel unhurt & move onto the next one.

the ideology of measuring people’s reactions towards you in order to react suit is not as easy as it seems, that’s what actually brings over thinking . after ur daily activities, when u get home you begin evaluate you day and everyone’s reaction and utterances, so u can follow suit. I wish we can be in a world where good people can be good and free, but life ain’t that way. People like using good people

Rubbiish:
Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

i have always been an introvert but quite accommodating and free with people , never shy, but this changed when people I help betray or take my quite and nice character for granted, my biggest fear is not public speaking I just don’t like doing it often , my biggest fear is being betrayed again, I have serious trust issues and this has contributed to me being more to myself and my overthinking, I don’t want to be used by anyone. I want friends and don’t want friends also, yeah and I’m tougher now.

vickyfrancis1:
You get to really understand people when they stay with you. Different characters. Undergraduate days weren't funny

so true

MrBrownJay1:
- how did you assume that she didnt appreciate your effort?
- so now that they dont appreciate your effort, you wanna become a negative person (like them)?!

in life, dont do things expecting any rewards etc, just do them out of your good heart and basta. dont change the good person that you are just because "some" may not appreciate your gesture. a negative person should never take away your positive shine.

noted but it hurts tho. Like people don’t just want it to seem like you did anything for them. I can’t just be allowing people in my space like that .

princeabdul:
it's a trap, don't do it.

really , please explain further

Why is accommodating people always most time backfires , someone I know , asked that I accommodate her for few days , which I did, I was very receptive and made her as comfortable as possible , she’s gone and it seems like she doesn’t even appreciate my efforts . I don’t think I would ever do this again

What are your views and thoughts

Drella:
Happens to me always.
If it's something I can evade,I'll do that.

that’s why I’m always late , if I want to travel I always see myself leaving the house late , not like I was doing anything serious at home. Lol I love my house and alone time too damn much.