Good people can be good and free, that's a decision they'd have to make themselves. Going on the defense, developing trust issues and nursing worries will not help. In our world, everybody is being used, directly or indirectly. Employees are used by employers, Social media uses the social tendencies of people to gain popularity and on and on. You'd have to decide whether you'd be in mutually beneficial grounds with people or they'd be sucking you dry like a parasite.

No need to overthink. Have standards and boundaries and you're good. If you can't, you'd keep feeling used or betrayed in every relationship.

Liliantalks:
the ideology of measuring people’s reactions towards you in order to react suit is not as easy as it seems, that’s what actually brings over thinking . after ur daily activities, when u get home you begin evaluate you day and everyone’s reaction and utterances, so u can follow suit. I wish we can be in a world where good people can be good and free, but life ain’t that way. People like using good people

Liliantalks:
the ideology of measuring people’s reactions towards you in order to react suit is not as easy as it seems, that’s what actually brings over thinking . after ur daily activities, when u get home you begin evaluate you day and everyone’s reaction and utterances, so u can follow suit. I wish we can be in a world where good people can be good and free, but life ain’t that way. People like using good people

To me been good don’t pay anymore. They use you and get mad when you don’t let them anymore.

I have been nice and good to people who I later realized never deserved it and whenever i remember i still feel hurt.Though that won’t make me change who I am

Ehismarty:



To me been good don’t pay anymore. They use you and get mad when you don’t let them anymore.

I have been nice and good to people who I later realized never deserved it and whenever i remember i still feel hurt.Though that won’t make me change who I am

that won’t make u change who u are but u are more careful on who u love and give ur attention, and evaluating who u think deserve ur love and attention is very difficult and get u thinking. That’s for me tho. I wish we could just be free

nwaezeemmanuel:
Good people can be good and free, that's a decision they'd have to make themselves. Going on the defense, developing trust issues and nursing worries will not help. In our world, everybody is being used, directly or indirectly. Employees are used by employers, Social media uses the social tendencies of people to gain popularity and on and on. You'd have to decide whether you'd be in mutually beneficial grounds with people or they'd be sucking you dry like a parasite.

No need to overthink. Have standards and boundaries and you're good. If you can't, you'd keep feeling used or betrayed in every relationship.

noted.

Hello everyone, I'm new here. Not on nairaland. But this lounge.

Has anyone lost a close friend, because you were clueless about how and where to hang out. You want to go out but it's hard, now you lost the one person you feel understood it's a daily struggle to be out there?
Let's discuss.
Happy Sunday all..

Rubbiish:

Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

Thanks a lot for this. I'll work on the things mentioned and see how I can improve my situation so as not to live an unfulfilled life like you mentioned. Gracias amigo.

I like staying indoors
I don't make friends easily
I don't go out to party or places where people are much
People think am pride , snubber ,
People don't seems to understand me
Being quiet to some people is like you are passing through alot
They don't want to understand the fact that it my nature I was born like this and there is nothing you can do about it

I use to have a lot of crush but to scared to talk even till date my kind of introvert is worst

Rubbiish:

Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

Nice write-up
But stating that is bad for a man to be introverted is very wrong. You can't possibly change that. So nothing bad in it. Asides that every other thing u mentioned there is okay

Roman7:



Nice write-up
But stating that is bad for a man to be introverted is very wrong. You can't possibly change that. So nothing bad in it. Asides that every other thing u mentioned there is okay

@bold true u can't change your nature as an introvert, but u can work on it to be a better introvert & I believe that is why we have this thread, to harness that weakness in us as introverts to strength. Those who have been able to work on & improve their personality always end up becoming better.

Rubbiish:

@bold true u can't change your nature as an introvert, but u can work on it to be a better introvert & I believe that is why we have this thread, to harness that weakness in us as introverts to strength. Those who have been able to work on & improve their personality always end up becoming better.

That's what you should have said, but saying it's bad to be introverted as a man.....would get many thinking there is something wrong with them.

Roman7:



That's what you should have said, but saying it's bad to be introverted as a man.....would get many thinking there is something wrong with them.

There are different types of introvert, those type that are unable to look a human in the face when talking or approach the opposite sex, these types i consider extreme & it is bad for a man! Such personality needs to be worked on, that is my point.

Rubbiish:

There are different types of introvert, those type that are unable to look a human in the face when talking or approach the opposite sex, these types i consider extreme & it is bad for a man! Such personality needs to be worked on, that is my point.

That's shyness you're talking about and there are also shy extroverts. Both of them need to work on it irrespective of their personalities.

Roman7:



That's shyness you're talking about and there are also shy extroverts. Both of them need to work on it irrespective of their personalities.

Oga u are misconstruing my post please!
Didn't u read all the whole issues introverts have shared on this thread?? U want to compare an introvert with extrovert? Shyness is a natural trait for introverts but not an extrovert! Check the person I quoted & see the issues he shared. I am not here to drag knowledge superiority with anyone, if u are finding it difficult to understand my post, kindly ignore please! I clearly stated every thing in my first post, that is why it is lengthy.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad!

The bold above is quoted from my first post, I never said being an introvert is bad for man, I myself I am an introvert, but there should be a balance! Meaning u should work on your personality to be a better one! If your introversion is extreme, it is bad! Na wetin I be talk be this, but here u are misconstruing my post countless times! If u don't understand kindly ignore please!

I love wat am seeing here

'''''

This world we can’t be the same in character

Ehismarty:



To me been good don’t pay anymore. They use you and get mad when you don’t let them anymore.

I have been nice and good to people who I later realized never deserved it and whenever i remember i still feel hurt.Though that won’t make me change who I am

Being pays. Before, Now and Forever.
You just have be more discerning about who you are being with.

Happy Monday.

I love this group. I've learnt something and I'm still learning. I'm a comrade in this league (not the extreme one though but with a touch of extreme ) anyways. Nice concept guys

Nice post @ Rubbish..I enjoy every bit of ur post. Am also an introvert and I don't even know which class I belong to. Through I relate with people to an extent but with opposite sex especially just ladies is still an issue God is helping me to address. One thing I have noticed is that everyone in my family except my sister are like this. Everyone is just the quiet type. Physically am one thing but on phone am another person.

dollyj1996:
Nice post @ Rubbish..I enjoy every bit of ur post. Am also an introvert and I don't even know which class I belong to. Through I relate with people to an extent but with opposite sex especially just ladies is still an issue God is helping me to address. One thing I have noticed is that everyone in my family except my sister are like this. Everyone is just the quiet type. Physically am one thing but on phone am another person.

The bold already bespeaks your level of introversion. But age is also a factor. If u are above 25 & unable to relate with the opposite sex, to me that is a huge problem u need to address. How do u address it? Relate with girls. Same things u discuss with your male friends is what u discuss with them, from politics to economy etc. I am glad u made mention of having a sister, how do u relate with her? That is the same way u should relate with every girl out there. Every girl out there is a sister from another mother. There is no special way in relating with the opposite sex, it is just the exact same way u relate with your guys, nothing different! This is why I always encourage us to join a group, where we will get to meet both sex, it will go a long way in improving our social life. You maybe appointed to head a team with a mix of both sex in your organization tomorrow, so u don't start acting awkward. It is important we address these things on time.

100%

GreyBlood:
I could remember joining a group in the church den just to improve on ma social skills. Oboy! E no easy o na me be d youngest person wey dey d group, others na mostly older women.

Every saturday na so so church we dey sweep; infact we dey sweep the whole compound join.I no knw wetin carry me go join them o. The worst be say those women no dey feel am . I no knw weda na Sweepers Club I go join. At a time my waist come begin pain me. Any time wey I remember say we get meeting I go begin lose weight cos I knw say e go end with "pls come with ur brooms on saturday". Na God saved me that time b4 I come run leave them.

I can't stop laughing after reading this!
In a bid to improving your social skills u ended up improving your sweeping skills lol

Liliantalks:
100%

True

I don't know about others, but being an introvert is the biggest gift nature has given me.

My life is peaceful; no drama or burning desire to feel attached or depend on any one, either physically or emotionally. I tried in the past to get deep in friendship with some few, I ended up regretting I did. Though I'm a very likeable person and easy for people to make friends with, but when I notice you about to cross that line, I ghost you. Only my immediate family have that privilege.


I protect my space, and it has been key to my happiness.

Rubbiish:

Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! [[b]b]If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! [/[/b]b]For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

I disagree

clothingonline:
This world we can’t be the same in character

Life is negative and positive, everyone can't be the same.. I agree

DanielAlhassan:
I like staying indoors
I don't make friends easily
I don't go out to party or places where people are much
People think am pride , snubber ,
People don't seems to understand me
Being quiet to some people is like you are passing through alot
They don't want to understand the fact that it my nature I was born like this and there is nothing you can do about it

I use to have a lot of crush but to scared to talk even till date my kind of introvert is worst

Hmmm

Different strokes for different folks