litigator:



You are probably an INFJ

dovies:
Hi everyone, I found this thread and I want to talk about something that has been bothering me for a few weeks. I've always known myself to be an introvert but I think its getting worse. Don't misunderstand me, I really enjoy my own company. I can stay indoors for days reading, meditating and doing my own things.

Now, I feel my colleagues think I'm snobbish. Recently, we organised a party for someone leaving our workplace and everyone planned the party, to be sincere, I wanted to go, I even got a new cloth and accessories to match. but on that day I just sent a message to the group, telling them I wont be able to come. The next few days at work was not nice for me as some people were not happy that I canceled. I have also been declining a lot of outings from my supervisor as I just want to be alone after work as talking drains my energy. But i think this may affect my chances if any opportunity arise in my job.

Finally, I've been overthinking a lot. I just want to get everything sorted on my head.

Is any other person feeling like this or I'm on my own?

Kesterballs:


Yes I feel the same, I'm a student in a polytechnic, grew up in an area where you can't be an introvert, so people right from secondary school calls me a thug even down to my polytechnic.

I find it difficult leaving my comfort zones, I only went clubbing twice and I can say I was outside the club those 2 times taking water.

[b]I like making noise or creating scenes but I hate noise myself. [/b]From my nd down to HND I don't visit people, I don't even eat at peoples place. My coursemates tell me to visit them during weekends and I'll agree, but I won't show up.

I've apologised so many times that they don even bother inviting me to functions or anything because they know i won't come

Kesterballs:


Yes I feel the same, I'm a student in a polytechnic, grew up in an area where you can't be an introvert, so people right from secondary school calls me a thug even down to my polytechnic.

I find it difficult leaving my comfort zones, I only went clubbing twice and I can say I was outside the club those 2 times taking water.

I like making noise or creating scenes but I hate noise myself. From my nd down to HND I don't visit people, I don't even eat at peoples place. My coursemates tell me to visit them during weekends and I'll agree, but I won't show up.

I've apologised so many times that they don even bother inviting me to functions or anything because they know i won't come

Liliantalks:
Home all day yesterday, thinking of going to get a nice meal but just because I don’t wanna go anywhere I am managing the food in my house lol

Ex0rcist:
I didn't start out as an introvert in my high-school days, but I begin to create a shell after so many embarrassing and heart breaking moments. I'm an introvert now, the problem is just that my very close friends complain that once I'm away from home I shut everything, I don't call, text or even WhatsApp. I don't really like this myself I just can't seem to help it.

CsRockefeller:
Anchored a program about "Building Relationships" in my church today. As an introvert, I was a little bit nervous but immediately I took that mic, I owned the stage and there was no stopping me.

Leisureworld:
I'm also an introvert. How I became a business person overnight I don't even know. My home is my comfort zone and my happy zone.

Expresswriter:
I need a female friend in Port Harcourt.

No sex.

Not for dating.

Purely for friendship.

If you're a lover of intellectual discussions, then I'd love to talk with you.

Must be born again.

Mail me let's start from here: bobmanuelhamilton@gmail.com

SweetOnugbo:
Being an introvert is lonely and boring sometimes
I don't even have a single close friend.

Liliantalks:
Very scary

Drella:


Happens to me always.
If it's something I can evade,I'll do that.

LUCAS99:


Can I be able to talk to you on phone Olarewajub?

I feel like am boring because I don't talk too much. I find it so difficult to relate with people and find a common ground. Even when I see people talking I don't really join the conversation because I don't know what to say. Most times I tend to avoid the conversation because I can't even keep a conversation going. Even when I eventually join the conversation and starts talking I feel like am unable to express myself in correct English. I have spoken to my family members and they are so surprised that I find it difficult to speak correct English.

I am almost 22 years old and It has been over four years since I had a girlfriend. Right now I don't even have a close female friend. I don't even know what to tell a lady or how to be creative when talking with a lady both online and offline.

I have tried reading books and watching television but I always fall asleep when I pick a book to read or try to watch a show. I wonder why I go to sleep so early by 6:00 PM and even when I wake up by 3:00 AM and try to read or maybe do a research online I start feeling sleepy. I know something is wrong with me but I don't know what.

Right now I lack direction and motivation. I have low confidence and low self esteem. I am even thinking of giving up on life. How can I get my life back on track?

how can I possibly increase my vocabulary and speak more fluently? I tried watching some movies but most times I don't understand what is going on until the end and I always find it difficult to recall the exact words used by the actors. Can something be possibly wrong with my memory? Sometimes somebody can tell me their names and within five minutes I have already forgotten their names. Is there a proven way I can expand my memory and be able to think like a grown adult?

What Can I do to improve my basic conversational skills? When I see two coworkers talking and laughing I begin to wonder why I can't get my fellow coworkers to open up to me. Everyone thinks I am stupid because I can't really talk. Everyone I know can speak English correctly why am I finding it difficult to speak correct English?

My Self esteem is so badly damaged and I am so lost where do I start?

LUCAS99:


Can I be able to talk to you on phone Olarewajub?

I feel like am boring because I don't talk too much. I find it so difficult to relate with people and find a common ground. Even when I see people talking I don't really join the conversation because I don't know what to say. Most times I tend to avoid the conversation because I can't even keep a conversation going. Even when I eventually join the conversation and starts talking I feel like am unable to express myself in correct English. I have spoken to my family members and they are so surprised that I find it difficult to speak correct English.

I am almost 22 years old and It has been over four years since I had a girlfriend. Right now I don't even have a close female friend. I don't even know what to tell a lady or how to be creative when talking with a lady both online and offline.

I have tried reading books and watching television but I always fall asleep when I pick a book to read or try to watch a show. I wonder why I go to sleep so early by 6:00 PM and even when I wake up by 3:00 AM and try to read or maybe do a research online I start feeling sleepy. I know something is wrong with me but I don't know what.

Right now I lack direction and motivation. I have low confidence and low self esteem. I am even thinking of giving up on life. How can I get my life back on track?

how can I possibly increase my vocabulary and speak more fluently? I tried watching some movies but most times I don't understand what is going on until the end and I always find it difficult to recall the exact words used by the actors. Can something be possibly wrong with my memory? Sometimes somebody can tell me their names and within five minutes I have already forgotten their names. Is there a proven way I can expand my memory and be able to think like a grown adult?

What Can I do to improve my basic conversational skills? When I see two coworkers talking and laughing I begin to wonder why I can't get my fellow coworkers to open up to me. Everyone thinks I am stupid because I can't really talk. Everyone I know can speak English correctly why am I finding it difficult to speak correct English?

My Self esteem is so badly damaged and I am so lost where do I start?

kolinton007:

What caused those embarrassing and heart breaking moments?

SweetOnugbo:
Being an introvert is lonely and boring sometimes
I don't even have a single close friend.

Ex0rcist:
sorry its coming late (exams). Mostly due to body shaming and friends taking advantage of my gentleness to exploit and use me. And almost every close person, from friends to relatives, even mum labelling me a fool. And I always try to prove them wrong, it got to a point I stopped trying and decided its better to shut my mouth rather than being called a fool. I also stopped having close pals, I stopped talking to old ones so I don't get to display or show the foolish part of me to them as we get closer. It was really hard for me, I suffered this emotional abuse for almost 7 years before I left for higher institution. I barely go home, it was during lock down that I got the chance to bind with my mom very well after I told her I don't want any of her abusive language as I'm no more a teen.

Rubbiish:

Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

Jobia:
I quite agree with you, especially with the bolded. I've been mustering courage to face some of my social fears recently and it's not been easy because the irrational fears gets crippling at times. But I can promise it gets rewarding over time. I'm becoming comfortable feeling uncomfortable, or shy, or with "messing up".

Highlight for me so far is dancing in public, something I wouldn't dare do before

SweetOnugbo:
Being an introvert is lonely and boring sometimes
I don't even have a single close friend.

Rubbiish:

Introverts tend to read meanings to everything & they always take every irrelevant things to heart. I bet u still refresh on what your friends do tell u, but believe me to them it could just be mere raillery, but u will keep killing yourself over it because of your inherent quest for perfection. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, but only if there is a balance! If there is no balance, being an introvert is bad! For a lady it is manageable, but for a man, it is bad! Because by nature being a man u are already a leader, people will expect u to lead your family, so if u can't speak for yourself, how do u lead your family? The greatest undoing of an introvert is fear of mistake & the quest for perfection!!!! This is what differentiate an introvert from extrovert. A mistake an extrovert will make & laugh over it, but once an introvert make that same mistake, he is going to wet his pillow all through the night. The introvert tend to think too much! How do u create that balance as an introvert? Do what u fear most, make the mistake & learn from it! Don't ever think u can create a balance by reading theories online, u must practice it in the real world. So It is advisable for all introverts to join a group at some point in their life mostly before they reach the age of 25, this is a must! It is the most effective panacea to cure your public fear! It can be a group in your church
or whatever, don't just join the group, be active, be among the executive, that will compel u to interact with people on daily basis, when that public fear leaves u as an introvert, u will feel it. U may think u are living the best of life until that public fear leaves u & u will regret how u have been living as human! U will know when to interact with people & there is nobody u can't approach on earth, so long that person is human. Why I am stating all these is because as an introvert, if u don't create that balance, u are going to live a very unfulfilling life, a life where those that are not even up to your status will be living more happier than u, depression will be one of your closest pal & fear will always be around u. u will always be fearful of people, creating non existing problems with your thoughts & imaginations & this will seriously affect the way u view life. But when the balance is there, u will always remain an introvert because it is your nature & part of u, but u will be a fulfilled & confident one. People will respect u more than an extrovert, because they know u are quiet, but firm!

Liliantalks:
i have always been an introvert but quite accommodating and free with people , never shy, but this changed when people I help betray or take my quite and nice character for granted, my biggest fear is not public speaking I just don’t like doing it often , my biggest fear is being betrayed again, I have serious trust issues and this has contributed to me being more to myself and my overthinking, I don’t want to be used by anyone. I want friends and don’t want friends also, yeah and I’m tougher now.

Rubbiish:

You have already conquered your fears & I don't see any challenges here. Some persons are fortunate to naturally fight these fears early enough due to their environment, upbringing or type of family & u seem to fall within that class. We all have trust issues due to past experience, so that is a general human issue. Though introverts tend to go the extra mile when it comes to making sacrifice for friends, this always leave us in a bad state, because humans are naturally wicked & will take advantage of anything good. i have made sacrifices for friends till date, but they are things i can still overlook should the relationship go bad. There is no harm in making friends, but let every sacrifice be mutual, don't go the extra mile, so when u get betrayed, u can easily overlook, feel unhurt & move onto the next one.