₦airaland Forum

atbu1983:
Source:

http://thenationonlineng.net/senators-we-wont-change-our-opinion-of-saraki/
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/09/alleged-false-declaration-of-assets-saraki-docked-released-on-bail/

South South
1 Amori Ighoyota (Delta Central)PDP
2  Peter Nwaoboshi (Delta North)PDP
3 Ben Murray-Bruce (Bayelsa East) PDP
4 Emmanuel Paulker (Bayelsa Central)PDP
5 Ogola Foster (Bayelsa West) PDP
6 Rose Oko (Cross River North) PDP
7  Olaka Nwogu (Rivers South East)PDP
8 Clifford Ordia ( Edo Central)PDP
9 Gershom Henry Bassey (Cross River South) PDP
10 Bassey Albert Akpan (Akwa North East)PDP

South East
1 Theodore Orji (Abia Central) PDP
2 Mao Ohuabunwa (Abia North) PDP
3 Gilbert Nnaji (Enugu East) PDP
4  Sam Egwu (Ebonyi North) PDP
5  Samuel Anyanwu (Imo East) PDP
6 Sunny Ogbuoji (Ebonyi South)PDP
7 Obinna Ogba (Ebonyi Central) PDP

South West
1 Tayo Alasoadura (Ondo Central) APC

North Central
1 Abdulrahman Abubakar (Kogi East) APC
2 Shaaba Lafiagi (Kwara North) PDP
3 Aliyu Sabi Abdullahi (Niger East) APC
4  Mohammed Ohiare (Kogi Central) APC
5 Rafui Ibrahim (Kwara South) APC

North East
1 Isa Hamma Missau (Bauchi Central)APC

North West
1 Kabiru Gaya (Kano Central) APC
2 Aliyu Wamako (Sokoto North)APC
3 Ibrahim Dambaba (Sokoto South).APC
4 Kaura Tijjani (Famfara North)APC

Total
South South 10
South East 7
South West 1
North Central 5
North East 1
North west 4
PDP 18
APC 10


Any form of reduction of corruption either by selective trial,hypocracy, vendetta, witch hunt, politically motivated or personal interest is welcome as long as the person is guilty and judicial process is followed. We should all support any reduction in corruption possible.

Corruption is a greater national problem than any of selective trial,hypocracy, vendetta, witch hunt, politically motivated or personal interest.
Corruption destroy the nation with 170 million people. selective trial,hypocracy, vendetta, witch hunt, politically motivated or personal interest only affect few who are guilty. When you have 100 thieves, it is better to catch 5 thieves even if the remaining 95 go free than allowing the whole 100 thieves to go free.

When people shout about not trying Amaechi , fashola and tinubu as the basis to completely ignore other corrupt people, such call is not for the progress of Nigeria. Such call is not realistic. People making such calls are hypocrit,insincere and lovers of corruption.

" A leader who destroys those who are devoted to him does not inspire devotion". Buhari knows this. That is why he would not go after Amaechi, fashola or tinubu. That is why the bible told us despite all the attrocities of David, God still called David the man after his own heart. Because david is devoted to him. If God can do that, who is ordinary imperfect human being like Buhari to do otherwise. However should amaechi, fashola etc continue in thier old way, then Buhari can jail them. Saraki deserve to be jailed because he wants to continue in the old ways.

You can only forgive a repentant thief or someone who believe in your course. In the bible, two thieves were lucky to be crucified at the same time with Jesus Christ. Only one of them Identify with righteousness of Jesus Christ. It was only that one that Jesus forgave. Is Jesus christ unjust by doing that? Saraki is an unrepentant thief like the second thief who was crucified with Jesus who refuse to change his path from darkness to light.

We must all support Buhari in the fight against corruption. It is for our own good.


#Buhari_Reduce_Corruption_by_all_Means

So you mean buhari should prosecute only his corrupt enemies and must totally abstain from prosecuting his corrupt friends right
And you lots still shamelessly insist this isnt outright witchhunt against percieved enemies.

Note that a biased law that is only meant for 'enemies' is corruption itself.



Furthermore, kindly stop misquoting the Holy Bible if you have nothing reasonable to say. God loved David not because of his sins, but primarily cos he was always quick to seek for true repentance whenever he erred.
{Unlike the lying amaechi & co., who still see nothing wrong in the highhanded corruption they perpetrated when they were in govt. }


You apcshits can commence witchhunting the other 28senators if you like while our economy continues to deteriorate ok? M.u.m.u.

NOBODYY:
Something to consider. This is why we are in big trouble. Can Muslims be Good Americans?
Can a devout Muslim be an American patriot and a loyal citizen? Consider this:
Theologically, no. Because his allegiance is to Allah, the moon god of Arabia.
Scripturally, no. Because his allegiance is to the five pillars of Islam and the Qur’an.
Geographically, no. Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer 5 times a day.
Socially, no. Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.
Politically, no. Because he must submit to the mullah (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of Israel and destruction of America, the great Satan.
Domestically, no, because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him. (Qur’an 4:34). Can you see a court case brewing here?
Religiously, no. Because no other religion is accepted by his Allah except Islam. (Qur’an, 2:256)
Intellectually, no, because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.
Philosophically, no, because Islam, Muhammad, and the Qur’an do not allow freedom of religion and expression.
Spiritually, no, because when we declare “one nation under God,” the Christian’s God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as our heavenly father, nor is he ever called Love in the Qur’an’s 99 excellent names. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist.
Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic. Therefore after much study and deliberation perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. They obviously cannot be both good Muslims and good Americans.
Call it what you wish…it’s still the truth. If you find yourself intellectually in agreement with the above, perhaps you will share this with your friends. The more who understand this, the better it will be for our country. Pass it on. The war is bigger than we know.

To be "All-American”… One must support the Constitution and the principles of our Founding Fathers. There is no room for Sharia Law or supporters of that backwards Islamic system of laws

So on point! Nice one @op.

janefrancisca:
Of course not, it should be 75-25. Yeah, you are his mother but then he is an adult who is starting a family and not a baby.. so to an extent he needs his space. The MIL should have 25 while the DIL should have 75 because she is starting a family with her husband and she needs all the care, love, support and attention she can get from her husband. There can't be 2 captains in a boat unless it will capsize, one has to give way for the other.

Is it really necessary to quantify the love for these two most important women in his life?


I say he loves them EQUALLY, but when it comes to planning and making decisions for his family, his wife must be his best advise partner.

Note that this is not because he loves his mom any less, but this is so because his wife is now him i.e the 2 are now 1; hence you are to consult your 'self'(wife) first before anyone else.

missmary:

Most People are scared of getting married.. Because of their mother in laws but what i don't get is.. Why is there bad blood between most of these set of people?

For God's sake why will A MIL slap her DIL?
Calling her a home breaker?
Why?

Some people secretly wish their husband's mother should die before they get married.. Awful prayer but they are saving their head... Why would mothers feel the wives are taking their sons away?...

Why do MIL like to show supremacy over their DIL?

Why?

Lets hear all opinions on this matter

Its so obvious from your post that you side with the DIL already.

The DILs 'MUST' learn to wholeheartedly respect their MILs as they would their own biological mother.

The MILs 'MUST' also wholeheartedly love their DILs as they would their sons.


With this, I believe there will always be peace in the family; cos I know that (as a dil) if your mom is to slap you now, you will never slap her back. Likewise(as a mil), you will never refer to your own biolgical son/daughter as a 'home breaker' when he offends you.

Xbabangida:
Something happened last week to a nephew of mine who is in his twenties, based in lagos and still in the university. First and foremost ,they have no female in the family except the mother. This nephew of mine is the eldest of three sons and does all the house chores like sweeping ,cleaning and even cooking while the mother does absolutely nothing except watching africa magic while the son is busy in the kitchen cooking what the family will eat.
On this day, the mother complained about this nephew not cooking the meat he was asked to cook well that he didn't add spice and wash the meat well and he told the mother boldly, ''I am not a woman, you can't expect me to cook the food any better''. This caused a heated argument and the mother reported him to his father. His father told him to apologize which he failed to do because he felt he wasn't at fault. Then he asked him to kneel down brought belt from the room and flogged him. This nephew of mine is grown up and an adult and it was so alarming that a parent would stoop so low to flog someone who is old enough to own a family of his own. He even contemplated reporting the matter to the police and file a case of physical assault but he decided to change his mind. Please house what is your take on this and who is to blame. Also to add to the issue,at what age did your parent stop flogging you? because flogging a child in his twenties looks absurd and foolish to me. I have children too and i can boldly say i've never layed a finger on them before.
lalasticlala and mods

Hmmm, nawao.

Well, its not uncommon to find such scenerio in nigeria (i.e where parents still discipline/treat their dependent adult children like kindergaten kids).

Anyways, insofar as the head of the house(i.e the dad) is ok with it, there's absolutely nothing wrong in cooking or doing other chores for one's parents (esp. when that person is still financially dependent on them).

However considering your nephew's age, the parent's mode of punishment is totally unacceptable IMO. There are more matured ways to handle such kind of situation.

All the same, the guy still needs to apologise to his mom for being rude; afterwhich I'd he starts planning how to begin staying apart from his parents for good, even if it means getting a room off-campus or in his school's hostel.

Remember the saying 'familiarity breeds contempt'. Same applies to family relationships too.

HungerBAD:
Love knows no color.

Go where your heart goes.

The most important person is you, and as long as you are happy, that is what matters.

True.

@op, what matters most is the person's character and whether he is truly in love with you.

Toks2008:
Many ladies are always quick to say they can not stand an adulterer as a husband and some will threaten to rain fire and brimstone on a philandering hubby. Yes we know that not all men cheat but in case you discover your hubby cheats on you please what would you do

1.Would you rather leave your marriage, remain single and celibate for life rather than cope with a philanderer as a hubby?

2.Would you rather leave your philandering hubby and start philandering about with other men?

3.Would you keep changing the present man to start all over with another if he cheats on you?

4.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby and also shamelessly philander about in the bid to seek a revenge?

5.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby,live a decent lifestyle and focus on your life and that of your children and just see him as a sex partner?

Please don't answer with "none of the above because if you are in that position,you will certainly be faced with an option.

Are you then insinuating that married women should still remain with their unrepentant cheating husbands? Dont you think the ladies' action of condoning their spouses' immoral ways will send across a bad message to the kids (that it is ok to cheat in marriage)?


Remember life itself is a risk; hence, its not an impossibility for a female divorcee to later find true love and successfully remarry after the divorce.

emmalezy:
[img]http://1.bp..com/-dLMURL17c1s/VgK7Oie8ziI/AAAAAAAGqqM/3OgNiOq3ryY/s1600/Faith-4.jpg[/img]
Faith Sakwe and husband Godswill Edward have welcomed their first child together, a baby girl. Faith gave birth at a US hospital in the early hours of today. The couple got married in April 2014. Congrats to them!
[img]http://1.bp..com/-jwVz6lhAGUc/VgK7SS0obWI/AAAAAAAGqqU/luyTkdN1z1o/s1600/unnamed.jpg[/img]

source
http://www.reportnaija.com/2015/09/ex-president-jonathans-daughter-faith.html

Good news. Congrats to them!

Dekatron:
Okay. So, I was just chilling at home some months ago. My brother told me :- JULIET GAVE BIRTH. I was like :- Its a lie. Juliet?
Who is juliet?


She is my agemate & my crush then. They lived around our house then with their mom. Always clean and strict mum, she was/is a prophet. Hearing that Juliet could get pregnant came as a shock. This girl do tease me 5 years ago, always seducing me (13) that my member would rise and all.



Now, she is a single mom. I was wondering this night that, most single moms, is it by error or by foolishness?


Can you as a guy marry (nt just date) a single mom?

Yes, I can. I don't care if she gave birth. Infact, I will adopt a child. Its the character. Alot of virgins and non single moms are actually vipers.



Ladies, ARE SINGLE MOMS MAINLY FOOLISH OR WERE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF?

PS :- I am not a romance freak, but its my thought that I put here.

It can be as a result of either foo.lishness(a.k.a foo.lish love) or error; and it can also be as a result of both.

However, since the deed has already been done; single moms need more of our encouragement & support than our criticisms & condemnation.

Ola17:
My brother don't be in a hurry to judge the girl. What some of these maids go through in the hands of their Oga/madam will make the 19 century white slave owners look like saints. You can't tell me she decided to pour her madam hot water just like that.

In most cases, the maid hawks, cook, clean house, do the laundry and other unmentionable household chores while madam sits her lazy fat àss gossiping around. Heck in most cases these maids get sexually molested by the Oga and children and at the end what do they get? Constant abuse, being starved of food for minor/excusable mistakes and kicked around.

Please stop assuming what you aint sure of bro.
At 17yrs, that evil maid is not a baby; hence, her action is simply unjustifiable. Just within 24hrs, she has already exhibited her true wicked self. Or is that how she treats anyone that offends her ?

BTW, the opening post states thus:

"Osijale stated that during investigation, THE ACCUSED CONFESSED TO THE CRIME and said that she intentionally boiled the hot water and poured it on her employer’s body to teach her a lesson for unjustifiable reasons."

"THE ACCUSED, who was represented by Barr. Helen Ibeji, however, PLEADED GUILTY TO THE CHARGE IN THE OPEN COURT."

Women are their own enemies!

ismart:
I remember saying having a child for me isn't a guarantee that a woman will remain in my house.

People attacked me without understanding why I made such statement.

Some 4 months ago, my cousin had his first child. My aunt, being the mother in law to be made sure she (daughter in law to be) got the best care. She took care of the daughter in law to be, bathed her grandchild every morning, afternoon and night.

After a month plus, my aunt followed her son to his house and continued with the care for another 1 month plus.

However due to an accident she had in 2012, she had to undergo proper surgery to straighten her leg because after the accident, no surgery was done but just traditional treament which didn't do much as the leg, a few CM above the ankle was bent and you can see the protruding bone.

Being hardworking woman, she did a lot of works with the leg.

I travelled to Lagos and when I returned, I was informed that she was in the hospital. I had to move to her sisters house same day so I can check on her.

On gettting there I saw her on the hospital bed. Few weeks later she was discharged from hospital.

This daughter in law to be was rarely around. When she comes, she would barely spend up to an hour before leaving. She has NEVER washed my aunt's clothes. Through out the 2 months that my aunt was discharged from hospital, the girl NEVER bought anything for my aunt as a mother in law to her. She NEVER stayed to take care of her. Absolutely NOTHING can be accounted for as a gain she contributes to the family system.

My aunt's only daughter died early 2000s and this girl could have easily played that role.

Last time she visited I was told she was around I didn't bother to come out to see her cos I was just to displeased.

While we were away, robber buggled into my aunt's house. This girl came, she couldn't arrange her mother in law's clothes nor sweep the room she occupied when she delivered. The best she could do was brought out her iphone, one my cousin bought, and started taking pictures of the damages and calling my cousin on phone to even magnify and exaggerate what happened.

In that two months I have been the one who would lift my aunt, get her crunches, wash her clothes, follow her to the hospital etc.

Today my aunt finally returned to her home after doctor told her that she can start putting the leg on ground while she walks. She had to call her sister's daughter to come and cook for her. Though I had wanted to do the cooking.


While I was with her in her room. She told me that the daughter in law was feeling pompous. I said to her that I have noticed but wondered why she kept quiet all along. She said she was just taking her time. So I told her what I expected of her daughter in law to be and that this problem had better be nipped in the bud before it's too late. I asked her what if she was quite older than her current age such that she can't move around. We talked more at length and she told me her mind. She also told me that she called the girl and informed her that she has arrived home. The girl didn't even bother to ask about cooking or gave any hint if she would come.

The son is currently out of the country. He bought this girl a car, took her South Africa and Dubai on vacation.

My aunt told me that while I was away at one time, they were making plans for introduction. This girl, though not yet strong cos of child delivery, made a decision to start business. My aunt suggested that wait for you to heal and you know you had this child via CS. She flaired up and I learned earlier she said what right does my aunt have to dictate for her. There was a serious quarel between her and my cousin.

My aunt has resolved that once her son comes back, they will discuss and possibly put a stop to her madness.

I have seen this game played over and over again. A girl brings out her real colours after a child or after marriage. That's why I said to myself, a child isn't a guarantee that a woman will remain in my house but her manners.

This girl in question is completely nothing to write home about...

@O.P, I would say you are right to be displeased with the I-dont-care attitude of your cousin's wife.

However, you seem to be going about it the wrong way tho.
Note that you are not the appropriate person to determine whether or not the lady has to be 'kicked out'; neither would I encourage you to bad-mouth her before your cousin bro.


I'd rather advise that your MIL confronts her about her nonchalant attitude toward's the former's condition.

BTW nowhere in your post have you mentioned that your cousin's spouse is disrespectful, rude, or insultive. Her sole problem seems to be just sheer laziness & probably immaturity as well.
So dont be quick to lose hope on her yet.

bettercreature:
Most married men do it and that doesn't mean they don't love their wife,it's possible and it's working

Same way many married women cheat on their spouses while still claiming true love for the husbands.

Remember just because alot of people act despicably doesnt make such right.

Lasgidy1:
I'm deeply in love with my orente. She means so much to me and I hold her in high esteem. I can't do without hearing from her at least 3 times daily despite my schedule at work on all days but I've come to realize that despite my unfailing love for her, I still cheat on her. Though, once she caught me cheating on her but she won't walk away. I believe she's forced to assume now that cheating is in the DNA of most men.

To the guys here, is it really possible to love your wife or babe so dearly and cheat on her? When you cheat on her, is it still fair to boast of your love for her? Also, why do most men cheat? Is it really true that cheating is in the DNA of men? Should we conclude its as a result of rampant moral decadence? Is there a way to stop it?
Cc: mods please do the needful

And if your lady cheat on you now, you will be quick to say 'these hoes aint loyal' abi?

Advise:
Always do unto others what you will want them to also do unto you bro.

justirich:
A Kenyan politician has advised men to marry more than one wife as one way of combating prostitution. David Gikaria, a Nakuru, Kenya Member of Parliament said that if men married more than one wife then prostitution would end because all single women will get husbands. Speaking on Monday, September 14 at a free medical camp he had organized in his constituency, Gikaria, who has three wives, said that prostitution is on the increase in Kenyan towns because women lack husbands.

"There are so many women in our towns who
don’t have husbands or men in their lives and this
forces them to resort to prostitution and this thing
can be solved if only men agree to marry more
than one wife," he said. "Why should we allow
these women to suffer cold at night when we can
take care of them in our homes." he added. Gikaria
gave his own example saying that he has three
wives and called on men to learn from him. "I think
those people who have money especially MPs are
well off should lead from the front by marrying
many wives," said Gikaria.

http://lindaikeji..com/2015/09/a-politicians-prostitution-solution-men.html?m=1

And who told him that polygamous men do not patronize prosti.tutes as well?

Mbkite:
It's obvious that there are more women than men in Nigeria and this should also reflect on Naija social media. I have observed that we have more men than women on Nairaland. My question is, why?

The last census shows that there are more males than females in nigeria.

..........

"What is however intriguing is the population distribution along gender lines. In 1991, males accounted for 50.04%and females 49.96%of the population (a male/female ratio of 1:001). The distribution in 2006 has males accounting for 51.21%and females, 48.79%(a male/female ratio of 1:050).
This shift in population distribution raises a red flag. Several questions come to mind as to what may be responsible for this gender distribution shift. Could it be cultural, social, biological, economic or man-made? Are more male children being born than are female ones, or are more females dying at a faster rate than are males? Or were there cultural issues that limited the accessibility of females to census enumerators 2006 more than in 1991? Could it be that the ravages of HIV/AIDS is taking a toll on the female population, especially since females have a higher susceptibility to the disease?"

http://nigerianpolity..com.ng/2007/01/nigerian-census-gender-population.html

johnny1980:
Even when the marriage involves incest?

Sleeping with your elder brother's wife seems sordid.

Also, the women in such marriages have no say.

They are seen like properties to be shared by the male members. Is that progressive? That they have reasons makes it reasonable?

Inbreeding is not the exclusive preserve of polyandry bro.
You should understand what I mean if you are of the school of thought that believes Adam & Eve were the first humans on earth.

And till date, alot of muslim communities(particularly in arab regions and northern nigeria) practise marriage between closely related cousins and other distant relatives as well.

Therefore who are we to assume the position of God and judge others if I may ask?


Modified:
And back to the O.P, I'l like us to understand that any adult human(male or female) who voluntarily agreed to become a member of a particular religion should be ready to adher to the doctrines/rules/instructions of the said religion in its entirety.
This is why whenever I hear some of my muslim sisters here in the north complain about how much they dislike polygamy, I usually dont hesitate to remind them that for the fact they chose to be muslims, then they should be ever-ready to conform with the doctrines of the religion. There is no compulsion in religion; therefore lets all learn to chose the religion we are in full agreement with.

That is to say, you cant be a muslim & still adamantly refuse to accept the stance of islam on polygamy. If you are not comfortable with the religion's stance on multiple marriage for men, why dont you then quietly leave the religion & practise the one that best suits your ideas without making unnecessary fuss about it?

Trying to force christianity to accept polygamy or compel islam to reject polygamy is very wrong IMO.

johnny1980:
It doesn't work. The aim is to keep large swats of land as a family due to the scarcity of arable land in the mountains of Northern Indian and Himalayas. When you have 5 boys in a family, dividing lands into small bits when they start a new family does not make too much sense as it would not be large enough to cater for his needs.

It is a means to an end and it is not to enable the women freedom to have multiple husbands like most would want us to believe. Fact is it's almost extinct and rare to even find one community doing such now.

Sure there will always be reasons why certain type of marriage is practised.

This was why I stated that what matters most is not really the kind of marriage agreement entered into, but the ability to achieve & maintain a healthy, happy and successful married life.

I can babysit a child that is at least 2yrs old or more. Thats all!

johnny1980:
What happens if she had multiple sex with both partners in the space of days not even hours?

Let us even assume they did it weekly. how do you count exactly what week the sex that fertilized her in to know exactly who did it giving some women are 2 months pregnant and are even oblivious of the fact?

Polyandry works for those who practise it (e.g the Hindus). Hence, its not for you or I to negatively critique or condemn their practises since they havnt forced it on any of us.

I believe if we were to invite a polyandrist in our midst now, she wont hesitate to also outline the merits of polyandry to us which I suspect will probably include the fact that:

The inability of the men to distinguish/determine whose baby it is that the wife/madam-in-charge( ) is carrying within her helps to unite the family more and promote the collective acceptance of all kids by all the parents without discriminating kid-A from kid-B.

This is contrary to the well-known discriminatory treatment experience by most kids within polygamous marriages; since every wife can clearly identify her own child (unlike polyandry). Hence, the possibility of each wife maltreating the child(ren) of the other wife/wives is ever present.

eherbal:
This piece is not set out to condemn or criticise monogamy. Monogamy is perfect for those who believe in its concept and can genuinely keep to it. I too have been married to one lovely woman for almost 45 years and it has been like a marriage made in heaven. I happen also to be the promoter along with some friends the 35-year-old Family Club of Nigeria which is dedicated to the upliftment and celebration of marriage and family values.

The article is designed to expose the hypocrisy and pain associated with embracing false notions which are really not observed by any culture in the world, and to advise those who erroneously sentence themselves to a life of sadness and emptiness because they were deceived to believe that there is some utopia somewhere called monogamy.

I am very much aware that this article will generate a lot of controversy most especially from those who live holier-than-thou life and have continued to deceive the world that they are upholders of a doctrine that is not supported by true and enlightened interpretation of any religious doctrine.

The white men, I am yet to see any human being whose skin colour is like that of chalk, came and told the unfortunate lands they invaded that the cherished cultures, traditions and religions of such lands were rubbish, and instead indoctrinated them with values which they themselves never believed in or truly practiced. We know of King Henry Vlll, and several major historical figures in ‘Christian’ Europe who had more than one wife in addition of a string of wives who their ‘laws’ forbade them to address as wives but who nonetheless perform all the functions of wife minus name.

God bless President Mitterrand who openly confessed to having two women in his life, with the one in the other house with whom he fathered an 18-year-old daughter at the time he passed on.

I have schooled, worked and lived virtually in all the continents of the world and I make bold to say with all emphasis at my disposal that no culture on planet earth truly practices monogamy. My Greek, Italian, Russian, British, American and other Caucasians routinely visit their other wives [called by other names] with whom they have children. But back in the homes shared with the one carrying the ring, they are monogamists!

If God had wanted humanity to be monogamous, He or She would not have made the pigeon the only monogamous creature.

The cultures that practice polygamy had always known that at any given time, the number of available marriageable women far out number available men plus the fact that an 80-year-old man, if he has money, is still very much in the market whereas a 60-year-old woman may not be that lucky. The biological limitation to a woman’s productive age is also a factor. Why should a woman therefore remain on the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well get married as second or sixth wife to a man who can afford to share life’s responsibilities with her? Why should a woman leave a man with whom she is No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understands?

All the women who should go and marry but are saying they do not want to share their man with another woman in a polygamous setting, are sharing current boyfriends with several other women. Where is the logic?

The argument that children in a polygamous house are always at each other’s throat does not hold water. Many siblings of monogamous families are known to have had worse and irresolvable, irreconcilable squabble, with dirty bitterness over inheritance than children from different mothers.

The agony suffered by both men and women in the hand of unnatural laws and doctrines is too stifling for comfort. In 2002, 502 Reverend mothers were reported to have died while procuring abortion in Rome. Nigerian Tribune wrote an editorial on the unfortunate incident. And stories of Reverend fathers having children and sodomising young men in their care are legion! Why the hypocrisy? Why should the world continue to live the life of Ostrich?

A well known Nigerian journalist hid his other wives from his wife because his religion would not permit of it and his wife, living in monogamy should not hear of it. At his funeral service, other wives surfaced and the woman parading the ring collapsed. It was the grace of God that prevented double interment that day!

The Western world which had not learnt the art of living amicably with more than one partner under the same roof has indulged in multiple serial marriages, divorcing innocent wives under flimsy excuses so that another woman can move in should not be measure of standard for the world. Thank God Hillary Clinton in the US and Mrs Cook in England were very much wiser. They refused to allow some indiscretion on the part of their husbands to ruin their marriages.

There was a well known American actor who passed on about a decade ago and all his 11 ex-wives with their numerous children attended his funeral. To ridicule the lie of their hypocritical existence, all the women were recognised and addressed as wives. As far as records show, the man had 11 wives!

Society must rethink this issue of pretentious monogamy vis-à-vis polygamy so that in the not-too-distant future we do not end up with millions of unmarried women whose life style would be worse than prostitutes’ and millions of children whose fathers would be nowhere to be found.
Source:http://folasophical.com/?p=1965

Though Controversial, Your Take Is Highly Revered.

Well personally, I believe what matters most is not the type of marriage agreement one enters into but one's ability to achieve and maintain a healthy, happy & successful marriage life with his or her spouse(s).


Secondly, one must be truthful & open to the person he/she intends to marry, with regards to the type of marriage he/she wishes to practise.
E.g, a man who fancies polygamy should be open to his intending wife-to-be about his desires and the possibility of him becoming polygamous in future. This is basically to avoid deceit & so that no one will feel cheated at the later end.


Secondly, every responsible individual (whether married or single) should only elect to become a member of organisations/bodies/religious groups e.t.c that he or she entirely agrees with their doctrines, rules & rites.
Meaning, why become a christian when you do not wholly agree with all or some contents of the Bible?
That is to say, if you dislike the Bible's concept of marriage et al, simply join the religion that best suits your ideas and views rather than forcing yourself on a religion that contradicts your conviction about the issues of life.


Fourthly, all categories of marriage (be it monogamy, polygamy, polyandry, gay marriage e.t.c) have their merits and demerits whichever way you wish to look at them. And comparing each to the other will only lead to unending debates and unhealthy arguments.
Hence, my advice is that every individual should practise what he/she feels is right for him/her and stop trying to force his or her beliefs on others who do not share same opinion.


B.T.W, I totally have no problem with the practise of polygamy in anyway.

However, I sincerely do have a problem with the way some people keep asserting that polygamy is here to rescue the numerous single women around from the terrible arms of spinsterhood. These myopic people forget that societies where polygamy is widely practised are usually the societies with the highest rate of divorced women(sent back to spinsterhood ). So you'l realise that the women have not been actually helped; rather, their situation only gets worsened with time.

My2cents.

@op, I suspect the husband of the lady in your story is a yoruba man cos most Yoruba men still have this strong desire for their ancient traditional spousal domination kind of marriage requirements.

And I bet the lady(complainant) was aware of the man's desires even before she got married to him. Hence I'd advise she does only what pleases him as proof of her true love for him. Shikenan!

If she feels like doing so, why not?

She is free as air to express her feelings to anyone she deems fit whether male or female. Thats the beauty of 'FREEDOM' I guess.

blackbishopp:
Hi Nairalanders.
My marraige is a year and four months old with a beautiful baby girl.
My problem started when i visited a church in Ilorin as invited by a family member..... In d process of the service the pastor called me me out. He said he saw a vision that my wife has a marine spirit..... That my baby will die if am not prayerful and dat i will continue to labour in vain. He even said that something happened to her when she was 13yrs old. And that her mum knew about it. Hmmm he concluded that i should invite her to the church on Tuesday preceeding the service. I invited her as directed by the pastor. Not knowing that my wife overheard me when i was narrating the incident with my Sistet who came for a visit. 'I told my Sister because she's d only sister i have'. On getting to the church on that Tuesday, the pastor sais he can't attend to anybody as directed by the spirit. He even said everybody should just pray and go back home without even paying the offering.
On getting home, I can't sleep in the night. I woke her from sleep in the night and narrated everything to her. She became angry and latter revealed to me that she heard it when i was telling my Aunty. That she had visited her pastor too who encouraged her to go with me to that church.
And she said she asked her parent who are pastor in CAC church about it but thay said there is nothing of that nature. The problem is my wife has travelled now for a two weeks workshop in Cotonuo. And I don't really know how to handle the issue at all. Pls kindly advice me on what to do about this issue without disturbing my marriage.

And you believed that your pastor hook, line & sinker why?

debolly:
Hello,
Please my friend needs your help urgently.
She is supposed to be introducing her boyfriend to her parents. But the problem is that her boyfriends culture dictates that his father first “tastes” her to know exactly where his cows are going and if she is valuable and worthy of his son. Her boyfriend is perfectly okay with it because its his culture and he wants to marry her but she has a big problem with it, she can’t run out because she is in
love with this man dearly and sincerely.
WHAT SHOULD SHE DO?

Hmmm

I really want to know the particular tribe that has this sick culture @O.P?

kevinberry:
This was asked and I was eager to read their views in the so called modern world.....

Eddso said[b]“would a feminist even want to marry"[/b]

thetruthteller said[b] “only if she makes me a sandwich"[/b]

Thedanindentity said[b]“if I really wanted to be treated like an animal I'd rather marry a dog fam..at least then I know that I,ma wallet and kids = be happy.[/b]

Jazjaz said[b]“someone who supports equal rights =yes, a 'feminist'=no.[/b]

Incubator said “nope,don't want her to be complaining that we're a patriarchal society everytime I want her to make me a sandwich"

Russellsteapot said[b]“This is becoming a stock answer given the number of
times I've used it, but never mind.
A 'normal' feminist, someone who supports equal
rights, supports herself mentally, emotionally and
financially, gets on with life knowing we already live
in an equal society whilst realising that men and
women are biologically different beings and will
never have identical behaviours, outcomes and
preferences. Someone who lives to modern social
values and gender positions, but does not go on
about them all the time. Yes.
A radical feminist who believes she is oppressed, and
that millions of years of evolution didn't happen, that
equality of outcome should be forced, and the other
deranged nonsense some of them come out with?
No.
Fortunately there are lots of normals and not too
many radicals".[/b]


samt98 said[b]“marriage in the 21st century is silly, marriage to a
feminist is down right stupid".[/b]


Thecitizenact said[b]“never,I'd rather scrape my face off with a cheese grater.
Marrying a feminist would be the ultimate betrayal of
your testicles.this cracked me up

Anyone who believes in a mythological patriarchy is
just like someone who believes in religion. They both
believe in something entirely intangible and form
their entire life view around it.

Plus, most modern day feminists are more like social
conservatives, the amount of banning which they
advocate doesn't even come close to resembling any
notion of 'tolerance' or 'progressivism.' It's
puritanical, plain and simple".[/b]



Smith and wesson said[b]Lol hell no. She would want me to experience what
she is feeling during menustration and child birth.
Make me wear tampons and electrocute my balls.
It's ok because men and women must be equal would
be her answer[/b]


Computermaths97 said[b]The "perfect" way to act at school: Be quiet and do as
the Teacher says. Now tell me, think back to Year 7-
Year 11 and try telling me that 95% of the "good
students" according to the teachers weren't girls...
Why can't the perfect way be how boys act? To
constantly talk and discuss the work, and actually do
questions. COnstantly be active, not just sit there in
quiet and obey. Do loads of presentations, express
our opinions. Little girls would get in loads of trouble
in that world. But no, feminism has forced this type
of education upon us.[/b]



Simplyll[b]Oh yes, nothing wrong with a feminist.
However I can't be friends with someone who is
against feminism, male or female.[/b]


What your say...would you as a guy marry one
www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3491749

Hell no!

ZACHIE:
If Nigeria must finally defeat Book Haram, she must face up to the Lebanese and Syrian communities in Kano and Lagos.
Some of these people feast on violence and thrive on wars to make money. And I'm certain, the Intel used in prolonging the war is being sustained by these elements.
My hunch feeling please.
Shebi if na Yahoo yahoo dem dey look for na Naija dem go find first

I agree with you.
Remember some few years ago, nigerian authorities raided the house of a renowned lebanese in kano state and found lots of dusty heavyduty weapons of war in the house's underground.
And nothing was again heard of the story which is so typical of nigerian security affairs.


Well, I am happy this one didnt successfully make it to nigeria, but I still believe there are some of his partners-in-crime already in our dear country.

pcguru1:
Not really church is full human beings at the end of the day, besides I tend to find church activities boring. Plus am not a meeting person, unless its related to programming or sports. But it might work for op

Hmm, well maybe you try and become friends with some of your clients who are responsible and good.

The candid truth is one needs friends to break the jinx of a lonely/anti-social life.

tpiander:
Take note you are lying.

Lol, haba tpiander?

Take note - You are so wrong.

tpiander:
the one example you saw on nairaland, done by nairalanders, does not mean that is the standard.

take note.

Funny enough, I havnt yet seen such kind of combination-weddings done by any nairalander.

So take note!

I knew that trashy writeup just cant be from her.