₦airaland Forum

BoboYekini:
This is the real issue right here. Women will be women but we will still say it.
Why is this never a problem in the basic North where there is always a man for every woman (whether divorcees, widows or whatever)? It is only in the 'sophisticated' South here that you have 7 slay women clamoring to be mistresses of one wealthy man when there are indeed more men than women. They perpetuate this hypergamy well into their middle age(again for the record, after being babymamas/divorced/widowed they still have options) and with the other mouth complain about being stigmatized by young men.

True. They waste time fighting to gain the attention of wealthy men who are unfortunately, few in number; While ignoring the relationship requests of responsible struggling guys (who coincidentally are in the majority) around them.
And that is where the problem lies.

Here in the North, the ladies are less concerned about the financial status of a man, compared to their Southern counterparts. The Son of a driver in my place of work got married to the daughter of a Snr. Lecturer of a foremost University in the NorthWest recently. The couple are both Students of the same Institution (while the groom doubles as a tailor). On the wedding day, the bride's dad gifted the couple a car & other things; and I was told at the time that they would be living in the mud house built by the groom with the support of his friends & family few months to the wedding. You can imagine having the daughter of a well-to-do Intellectual, agreeing to live in a mud house as wife to a struggling guy, the son of a driver. How many ladies in the South, under the same circumstances, can agree to such?
Well, it is a common practice here; & I believe that should be how things are done if we really want to address this 'no husband for the ladies' issue.

Haba Ipobs! This is barbaric!!

There shall be no peace for the wicked. RIP to the deceased.

emefav:
NURTW boss Kokozaria, celebrated his birthday over the weekend, and the women in his life; Actress Awele who he welcomed a baby with recently and his wife Oyinda, had a war of 'shades' on Instagram, while revealing how much they love their man.


Here are posts the women made on social media;

http://www.lailasblog.com/2017/05/babymama-of-nurtw-boss-kokozaria.html

The problems these promiscous Yoruba men are causing ehn; smh.

So what if he is an Uber driver She sounds like she did him a favour.

Nice one.

Terrible news. RIP to the dead.

Toks2008:
Before you all begin to wonder what I'm up to this time I would like to state clearly that Polygamy is a matter of choice and I'm not promoting polygamy
but i want us to have an unbiased and non hypocritical down to earth discussion about this deep and sensitive one man one wife concept.

Everyday we see series of prewedding pics,we see pics of a happily married lady with her husband and lovely children and we see ladies gush over their significant other not forgetting those who will threaten fire and brimstone if their hubby ever imagine the possibility of a second wife but I want these ladies to wait and think for a minute about that young widow who is faced with the challenges of being a single parent...about that innocent divorcee whose husband against all odds threw her out...about that mature unmarried single mum that keeps meeting unserious unmarried single men and about that unmarried lady who is probably in her 40s and have had series of heart break from callous single men....

Yes we know that the aforementioned set of ladies could still marry a never married single guy but except we want to fool each other we all know that in most cases if single guys have the choice to make,they would mostly go for single ladies with no child rather than a young widow with children,a young divorcee with children or a single mum.

The big question is "Who will marry this set of ladies? I know it will be easy for anyone to quickly say shebi there are widowers, male divorcees with children or even single guys who can still marry them but it is easier to say this if you are not in their shoes.

No matter how hard some people go against polygamy,i strongly believe it is the answer to the prayers of some ladies but what can I say in a world where hypocrisy is a norm? a world where a man of 70 celebrates 40years monogamous wedding anniversary with one lady while keeping other children with different mothers outside the same marriage...and a crazy world where even the young married men who sing the "i love my my wife" lyrics will gladly keep side chics... oh I guess it's OK as long as these men are married to one lady...hmmmmm!

In my opinion I believe the one man one woman concept is flawed for many reasons...and it is a good thing Islam is not against it neither is the bible asides the "advice" given in the bible to General overseers to be husband of one wife.

Conclusively I would leave this topic open for discussion but when next you see a widow with children,a lady divorcee with children or a single mum finding solace in the hands of a married man,before you start judging just wait,close your eyes for a minute and put yourself in their position and ask yourself..."should i continue to wait for single men who hardly want to marry me?, should i remain celibate and continue to burn with passion?, should i just throw caution to the wind and allow different men take advantage of my condition by having flings with me?, or should i gladly allow a married man to have me as a wife as long as he has the finance to take care of his polygamous status?

And if you are a married lady reading this...please before you start lashing out at me,wait till you find yourself in such situations.

I don't know if this makes sense but I leave it open for you all to discuss.

Trust me, it totally doesn't make sense. The usual crap from a promiscuous mind!

If not for the majority of our ladies' excessive choosy attitude, there should always be a man for every woman (whether divorcees, widows or whatever).

The 2006 census clearly showed that there are more males than females in Nigeria. So better stop looking for si.lly reasons to justify infidelity by the menfolk.

http://nigeria.opendataforafrica.org/xspplpb/nigeria-census

In 1991, males accounted for 50.04% and females 49.96% of the population (a male/female ratio of 1.001). The distribution in 2006 has males accounting for 51.21% and females,48.79%(a male/female ratio of 1.050).

And while the gradual dwindling of our country's female population as the years go by, is a thing of great concern (partly due to the usual oppression of the female gender in Nigeria & the general preferance to birth male children by Nigerian couples), the chauvinistic OP is here justifying rubbish.

Good. What they did is totally unjustifiable.

May God bless your union @feldido.

Timbuktuo:
The bible doesn't have to reference everything, but it does mention issues that God considers serious or worth mentioning. If polygamy was such a big deal/abomination, it would have been mentioned by name and placed in the book of the law. It is not a sin to be polygamous. Period. If it were, it would have been mentioned in the book of the law. If the bible could include same sex laws, incesst laws, rapper laws, it is safe to say it doesn't mention polygamy because it is a non-issue. If it were a sin, the bible would have mentioned punishing those who practised it.

The bible doesn't admonish all believers to practise monogamy, that is a figment of your imagination. Just because God gives one wife to Adam doesn't mean God wants him to have just one wife. It just means God gave Adam a wife. Period.

You can become one with anybody. Paul mentions people being with prostitutes, and becoming one flesh, doesn't he? Two become one is an infinite phenomenon not a one time thing. You can "be one" with as many people as you like.

You're the one dwelling on the issue of polygamy. Face the tin wey dey inside bible make you dey mind your business. Make other people sef mind their own business.

How am I condemning a Muslim from marrying more than one wife when his religion clearly approves of him having up to four (4) wives?

I had to respond to your post when you wrongly insinuated that polygamy is permitted in the Bible.

If polygamy is indeed permitted by God in the Holy Bible, why then did God himself abhor very important persons of the Society against it?

Oh! Obviously you ain't aware of such I guess?

Well, why not read thus;
1. God did forbade Kings from marrying many wives. See:-

Deuteronomy 17:14-17

"14 When you enter the land the lord your God is giving you and have taken possession of it and settled in it, and you say, “Let us set a king over us like all the nations around us,”
15 be sure to appoint over you a king God chooses. He must be from among your fellow Israelites. Do not place a foreigner over you, one who is not an Israelite.
16 The king, moreover, must not acquire great numbers of horses for himself or make the people return to Egypt to get more of them, for the Lord has told you, “You are not to go back that way again.”
17 HE MUST NOT TAKE MANY WIVES, or his heart will be led astray. He must not accumulate large amounts of silver and gold.

* The above is God's own command against a King (the most important personality in any Kingdom) being polygamous. Take note!!! If polygamy was such a good thing, I see no reason why God would abhor the practice.


2. God also forbade Church elders/Pastors/Bishops from being polygamous. Why would God forbid such if polygamy is indeed a beautiful & pure thing? Read thus:

Ephesians 3:2

"A bishop then must be blameless, the HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;"

* Note that a Pastor is not just the preacher at the Church building; but is a person who spreads the gospel of Christ & win souls for Him, be it through evangelism, or on the pulpit, or even simply by living exemplary Christ-like life.

This means that me and you (if you are a Christian) are not exempted from such calling. Hence, we must shun polygamy as well.


Again, Apostle Paul's sermon on the issue of being joined to a prostitute (or however you chose to place it ) is outrightly a sermon against immorality ; rather than a support for polygamy.

And for the last time, I'm not condemning anybody. God's word is clear & judgment is His to make. Let's strive to do His will always because this world is just a temporary abode. Polygamy is a sign of sheer greed, as well as the lack of self control, contentment, & patience. Simple!

Baby Mama & Baby Dada people

Timbuktuo:
It doesn't make sense to argue using logical fallacies. We are arguing about the use of grammar, not the value or equivalence of elements of the argument. Read up on what an analogy is.

Secondly, I never mentioned building a house for God. Reread my comment.



Out of point.



And just who are you to tell anybody what God is thinking? If it is not in the bible, the best you can do is to practice your extra beliefs in private and not try to impose it on others. That was how Kumuyi said the TV is the devil's box and his followers should destroy it. I'm sure he must have said something to the effect of God being silent about it but intending for it to not be used by His children.

David had a troubled home due to polygamy, but Isaac who was a monogamist was blessed with a deceitful wife and treacherous son. Maybe because Abraham, his father, impregnated and sent away his maid? Hmm. What do you think?

By the way, how do you know polygamy wasn't practiced in the new testament? After all, we weren't told that anybody went to the toilet in the new testament either. Maybe, intestines weren't invented by then?



I agree with God permitting things due to man's hardened heart. Sorry, I won't take your word for the marriage issue, though.

We know God condemned Amnon's raype of his sister because it was already in the Jewish law books that raype was an of fence with stipulated punishments.



Good idea.

I base my points only on what the Holy Bible states (Jewish Law books excluded); & not what the Bible doesn't state.

The only kind of marriage which the Bible makes express inferences to while admonishing believers to adhere is monogamy i.e the marriage of man & wife.
Genesis 2:22

" Then the Lord God made 'a woman' from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man."

Proverbs 5:18

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the 'wife' of your youth"

Ephesians 5:31

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his 'wife' and the 'TWO' will become one flesh.” e.t.c.

So I ask, why dwell on what isn't expressly provided for in the Bible, rather than imbibe those things expressly stated?

RIP to the dead btw.

mohince:
Checkout this cute family of Rahama sadau kannywood actress.... So much resemblance. I bring you the sadausians..... She got cute siblings. Aisha sadau, fatima sadau, zainab sadau, haruna sadau and mom
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIPMGUljuqe/
https://www.instagram.com/p/BP4hHyTBdU0/
https://www.instagram.com/p/BQnDHmFAnNa/

Hmm, kyawawan yan'mata

But intercessory prayers can still be held for the President while he continues with his treatment abroad naa.

Timbuktuo:
So, when the bible referred to man building a house it means God wanted people to have only one house? Wàsére. People building multiple houses was due to what? Constructional polygamy?

So, please, enlighten me why God never condemned David's marriage to gus wives except the method with which he acquired Uriah's wife.

It doesn't make sense to compare the Institution of marriage between two human beings with a 'house'. And although I do not know which particular scripture you are referring to on building a house for God, let us look at the one below on same subject:

1 Chronicles 22:7 (NIV)
David said to Solomon: "My son, I had it in my heart to build 'a house' for the Name of the LORD my God.

The 'house' mentioned above is one, not many. Thus, I wonder why anyone would want to interprete the phrase different from how it is stated.

Same way all verses/scriptures/admonition on marriage as provided in the Holy Bible are referring to couples in the singular.

The truth is Polygamy was a common practice particularly among the Old Testament Patriarchs. But we should never be quick to regard God's silence about same practice as an approval of the practice. The likes of David who were polygamous had a troubled home as a result.

Note that there are certain things God allow, but not because He approves of same e.g divorce. He allowed such because of how hardened man has become.
Also, Amnon raped his half sister and yet, no where was it stated that God condemned him for that. So can we now say that God approves of rape

I won't want to deviate the @OP's topic further though.

Timbuktuo:
Stop lying. The bible does not emphasize on a man having only one wife. Stop lying.

From the Bible, God's destined plan for marriage was between a man & a woman. That is why biblical scriptures on marriage always made reference to 'man & wife (and not wives). Remember, the 'two' (not three or more) shall become one.

Polygamy was introduced by man's lack of patience & greed, that's all.

Buharimustgo:
Y is it that most Yoruba men have this complex issue?

So true bro.

Timileyin008:
you no know how far...men are not fragile like them so they take that advantage to misbehave just pray u dont marry a troublesome woman...you go regret even being a man

I thank God for the woman in my life bro. But still, rather than beat a bad wife like an animal, its by far better to divorce her. Shikenan.
Because one day, she may not survive the said beatings, and that automatically becomes an unfortunate end of the wife beater's good mortal life as well.

(sorry, double post)

titosantana:
Na wa for you ooo

You still have to brought your primitive way of thinking here? Haba.

But seriously, why mostly you southerners and domestic violence ehn?

Timileyin008:
you no know how far...men are not fragile like them so they take that advantage to misbehave just pray u dont marry a troublesome woman...you go regret even being a man

I thank God for the woman in my life bro.
But I still believe its far better to divorce a wife you cannot cope with, than beating her like an animal. Its terrible really.

timilehin007:
ARe u sure u are married? No same man would want to divorce his wife for the sake of his children unless u are planning to raise a wayward children

This your post is so laughable. So you mean he will prefer to damage vital organs in her body or even kill her with beatings for the sake of the children abi

Men do worst things to their wives without the poor women seeking for ways to terminate the erring husbands. So why can't the men be also tolerant of their wives too?

Well, e don be for the lunatic man as the video is now viral.

Hmm
So many mad men in the South; Smh.

Fear South!

ztapi:
easy to say that...some over-zealous supporters are pointing fingers at some people in the govt and ready to forment trouble hence the investigation to get the facts

epistleNow:
This statement right here, is one of the reasons why Nigeria is the way it is, Sentiments

We hardly try to do the needful
We don't investigate
When we do,
We don't do thoroughly.
We say things like; 'would this bring the dead back?

That's why all ills are resident here
But we are not short of shouting false statements.

Doctors, Police, Politicians, Teachers, do things against the ethics of their profession and we waive it, saying, "it's how God wants it"
So no one gets corrected
We lose the opportunity of learning from those mistakes.

Let's think and do right.

The truth is in today's Nigeria, such investigations can easily be distorted or tampered with, as long as money changes hands.

And why is it that the authorities only deem it necessary to carry out such investigations when the elites are involved? I bet you that if the deceased was to be an average Nigerian, no one will care what really killed him. All these are just being done to cover face; shikenan.

Now a lot of things about the true lifestyle of the deceased is gradually being exposed; to the detriment of his bereaved family.

9niceguy:
which name again?
I wonder how Igbos still have gut to put mouth into issues in this country...
after all they claim not to be Nigerians but Biafra.......I tire o

Point of correction, I'm not a 'Igbo'.
Infact, afonjas & Igbos are birds of same feather when it comes to such vices. But that of afonjas is far worse sincerely.

How true is this story? Because personally, I don't believe it.

Some people won't appreciate what they have until they lose it.

Congrats to the couple. Allah raya.

Ladies, marry afonja man at your own peril! Shikenan!!

If its not domestic violence, it will be Infidelity or Immorality. Smh.

I wish him well in his life pursuits.

Why is it that about 90% of domestic violence and evil being committed against women in Nigeria are perpetrated by Afonja men

Similarly, majority of the supporters of domestic violence on nairaland are also afonjas. Smh