₦airaland Forum

OjaP:
Lucas

First, let me tell you that you are one of the very few and lucky F-1 students in America. In case you don't know, there are thousands of people who have fallen out of status right from the first day they came in to America. You have a cashier's job that is putting food on the table and you are complaining? You are able to save $8k within 6 months from your job and you don't count yourself lucky? See, I am not one to sugar coat things for you. I don't know who your friends are but if you have one, they should tell you that you are balling? How many people in America can save up to $2000 in a year? If you have anyone telling you that you are useless in America, please delete that person's contact from your phone and block him or her for life.

That being said, you are not the first and you won't be the last to drop from school - that is not the end of life. You asked for help in writing a reinstatement letter from NL and didn't find help and you decided not to pursue it because of indecision and wrong advices? Who are those advisers? Mind sharing what they advised you to do? It appears to me that you caused this yourself.

For you to be able to compose on Nairaland, I put it to you that you can still think and know what is going on with your life. The issue with you is anxiety and fear of the unknown. Learn to control yourself and take your mind off it. I also see that you have refused to tell us your relationship with your 4 siblings in America, what have they done to help? Are they all tired of you? They all told you to go back to Nigeria? Anyway, here are the options you have presently;

- Do everything within your power to keep your present job

- Go and marry a U.S citizen who you truly love and start a family

- Wait for your pending immigration filings to be approved

Good luck

.
OjaP is it possible for us to communicate offline. I have a lot of pressing questions please.

zeezahbee:
LUCAS,
I am just able to gather my thoughts about your situations. I tried replying your original post but anti spam locked me out.

Anyways, from all indication you have everything going good for you. Is there still something we dont know more than what you told us. You called me about a month ago, crying and i tried to give you all the solution and i later had to tell you to go to nigeria if you think you cant cope. You are a man and this your matter na child play.

From all our conversations, you show yourself to be dependent on people and you have so much put your trust on people and you prefer to live on people's advice. How will someone advice you to be out of status without providing you another means of survival. You knew you are weak at heart and you dont have liver to stay illegal then you could type oridnary letter to get your reinstatement fix.

I hope you can call me if you wish. There is still light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there bro.

Word of advice to others who care to hear: Dont listen to people advice without having your map drawn already because what works for A might not work for Z. If you dont have the mind , dont do it. Some people have been out of status since day 1 and they dont even care. Anerica hustle is not for the weak-hearted.

I will try and call this morning Ma by 7:00am.

OjaP:
Lucas99:

Someone drew my attention to your post. I remember you from the previous parts of this thread. Why are you homeless and tired of life? I think you need to tell us your exact situation in order to be able to advise. From the last time, I remember that;

- You have up to four siblings in America who are U.S citizens

- You have a work authorization card which can let you work

- Have a pending immigrant petition filed on your behalf

So what exactly could be making you think of committing suicide? Why should you be homeless when your siblings are here? Do they all hate you? Why are they all tired of you? What have you done to them? Have you stopped working at your job as a cashier? What has changed in your life to have caused this?

I really don't know your new situation but one thing I will let you know is that you even have it so good and better than many people in America. Many people wish they have siblings who are citizens here, have a pending immigration petition, and have a work permit. Everyone of us is fighting one kind of battle or the other, yet we will never give up.

My simple advise: Tell us what has changed since the last time when things were good and we can work with you or advise based on your peculiar situation.

-OjaP

It all began in January 2016 when I lost my sponsorship and I decided to take my last semester off from school in order to work and save money to pay off my Fall 2015 semester tuition and Spring 2016 semester tuition for my community college. I was owing the school $4000 for Fall 2015 semester tuition and about $2000 for spring 2016. My status was unfortunately terminated in January. From January 2016-June 2016 I was able to save up $8000. My Last post on June when I came around and ask nairalanders to help me draft a reinstatement letter but no one was able to help. Since then due to circumstances beyond my control as a result of my indecision and wrong advices even though I paid off the balance I was owing the school. I was still unable to apply for reinstatement and as a result I was banned from school. From June 2016-December2016 things have gone from bad to worse. All my documents are expired and the cashiering job is all I have left in America. Since I got involved in an accident I have been declared as suicidal and sent to a rehab and I have been placed on antidepressant medication (lexapro and risperidone) those medication have really messed me up. I can no longer think nor understand what is going in my life. I wake up go to work and come back to sleep. Family and Friends are tired of me. They are like you can always buy your ticket and go back to Africa. I can't go back to Africa. I have nothing left there but at same time I don't want to waste my destiny.

slimmy2005:
I've been trying to get in touch with him. He just went off like that. I've emailed several times but no response.

Please Slimmy I lost your number. Please read my post I need help.

Justwise is it ok to post my number. I'm in a serious situation and I need all the help I can get.

Please nairalanders I am completely lost in the united states. I have lost all I have worked for the past four years this year. From January-December am still on one thing. Life has left me behind and I am on the verge of being homeless. I have been regarded as suicidal and have been taking some medication. I don't know if the medication played any role in messing up my thinking ability. I have lost touch with reality that I no longer understand what is going on in my life. Some days I wake up and I don't know what to do. Friend's have abandoned me. Family is almost tired of me. After all I went through with my aunty that I lived with back in Nigeria that sells purewater. I can't disappoint her. Please if anyone can help and assist me in giving me directions in life I will appreciate
Please Msnas, Ojap, Bigfrancis,imperioux, zeezahbee, slimmy, femi,justwise and other gurus in the house. Please help me out am on my knees begging. My life and destiny is at stake. I can't afford to useless my life. This is a cry for help. I have so many questions begging for answers.

A)is it possible to wake in the morning and don't know what to do and the whole day is gone.
B) Can a medication like lexapro affect my brain

Dear Forumites I lost my status and I need help to draft a good reinstatement Letter. I have searched online but can't seemed to find a similar letter that I can use as a guide. Every letter that I have seen so far does not match my situation. Please if any one can help me draft a convincing letter please feel free to contact me at my email udukaprince@gmail.com and phone number 704-713-9964. I have until the end of this week to draft this letter. Any support I can get to write this letter will be greatly appreciated.

@Slimmy,@BigFrancis,@Ojap,@Imperioux,@Zeezahbee,@Msnas,@biikeys and other forumites please help me out

Olarewajub:
@ LUCAS99 Hope you are gradually getting the help you need?


I want to implore all the introverts in the Lounge to proffer their own opinions on this matter.

I am still lost. I still wonder why I find it a bit difficult to express myself in correct English when speaking with somebody and also how to speak loudly.

I still need your number please send it to my mail I really need a mentor I can talk to everyday.

lacasera14:
I can relate with that too, always wanting a perfected convo especially with the ladies

Exactly. Can you believe at 22 years old I struggle to make conversation with ladies because I don't know what to say to get them to laugh and open up to you so you both can connect on a deeper level.

When I see other guys having conversations with ladies and laughing it makes me feel odd and embarrassed that I can't do what other guys do so easily?

When I see people talking I hardly join them because I don't want to say something stupid and be embarrassed.

I know I need to build my social skills but am so confused on where to start cause right now I lack motivation and all I wanna do is sleep all day.

I really need help cause am getting frustrated.

bukiii:
I can understand what is happening to the guy,its not that he can't speak or right correct english.He is always afraid of making mistakes while speaking,he get confused with some words and when he types he consult his dico.Just guessing tho cause all these happens to me.

That's my problem. I am afraid of making mistakes and getting embarrassed. Whenever I speak with my siblings and close friends I can speak correct English but whenever I try to make conversions with maybe co workers or customers all of a suddenly I find it difficult to express myself in correct English. I usually know what to say in my head but whenever I open my mouth to say it , most times I don't say it the right way. Sometimes I become nervous and all of a sudden my minds blanks out and I can't even pronounce words correctly and I end up messing up my sentences.

Olarewajub:
We're actually not boring when around with people we have a mutual relationship with.

Can I be able to talk to you on phone Olarewajub?

I feel like am boring because I don't talk too much. I find it so difficult to relate with people and find a common ground. Even when I see people talking I don't really join the conversation because I don't know what to say. Most times I tend to avoid the conversation because I can't even keep a conversation going. Even when I eventually join the conversation and starts talking I feel like am unable to express myself in correct English. I have spoken to my family members and they are so surprised that I find it difficult to speak correct English.

I am almost 22 years old and It has been over four years since I had a girlfriend. Right now I don't even have a close female friend. I don't even know what to tell a lady or how to be creative when talking with a lady both online and offline.

I have tried reading books and watching television but I always fall asleep when I pick a book to read or try to watch a show. I wonder why I go to sleep so early by 6:00 PM and even when I wake up by 3:00 AM and try to read or maybe do a research online I start feeling sleepy. I know something is wrong with me but I don't know what.

Right now I lack direction and motivation. I have low confidence and low self esteem. I am even thinking of giving up on life. How can I get my life back on track?

how can I possibly increase my vocabulary and speak more fluently? I tried watching some movies but most times I don't understand what is going on until the end and I always find it difficult to recall the exact words used by the actors. Can something be possibly wrong with my memory? Sometimes somebody can tell me their names and within five minutes I have already forgotten their names. Is there a proven way I can expand my memory and be able to think like a grown adult?

What Can I do to improve my basic conversational skills? When I see two coworkers talking and laughing I begin to wonder why I can't get my fellow coworkers to open up to me. Everyone thinks I am stupid because I can't really talk. Everyone I know can speak English correctly why am I finding it difficult to speak correct English?

My Self esteem is so badly damaged and I am so lost where do I start?

After going through all the posts on this thread, I have realized that an introvert

I work in a grocery store as a cashier and I can talk with total strangers comfortably

I don’t think am a shy person since I can start a conversation with anybody male or female that comes through my checkout register, the only problem I have is how do I maintain the conversation for a long time because most times I run out of things to say

I think I’m a bit boring since I don’t participate in small talk and gossips. But the truth is I love to interact with people and make contributions, but I get tongue tied. My manager once complained that I am too quiet. Since then sometimes I leave my register and go to my coworker register to gist and laugh before going back to my register. I really envy my extroverted coworkers. Whenever I see my extroverted coworkers talking for so long I'm always thinking what could they be probably talking about? I also noticed that whenever I participate in small talk and gossips is always difficult for me to keep up because most times I run out of things to say

My coworkers also like me because I always happy and hardly get angry. They say I smile almost every time. But I also wish I can be able to develop a personal relationship with them instead of Hi and hello

Even when i go to church even though I would love to stay back and chat. Most times when the service is over I just greet a few people and leave. I hardly participate in small talk after service since is always difficult for me to keep up because most times I run out of things to say

I do take pictures but I don’t like to upload them on social media. Can you believe that since I created my facebook account I only have one picture on my profile.

I hardly call people just to ask how they are doing except something reasonable happens which makes me to call. My former girlfriend used to complain that I hardly call her but I normally brush it off. But other people have said same thing.

I have also noticed that I maintain a better relationship with girls I see maybe once or twice a week instead of everyday. When I see a girl everyday most times I run out of things to say but if I see her maybe once or twice a week I always have something to say and she will be the one begging me to stop talking.

It has been nearly four years since I had a girlfriend. Back in Secondary School I was always in a relationship. I remember dating three different girls in three different campuses at same time before my game was blown. Immediately after that I asked my senior to be my girlfriend and she said yes. She was older than me as She was in SS3 and I was in SS2. We continued dating until I left the country to further my studies. Somehow we reconnected through facebook and she asked for my picture and even sent her number to my inbox and asked me to call her. I have neither called her or sent my picture to her since then.

My friends tend to believe that I’m not an introvert when it comes to girls. They argue that introverts are shy around girls and generally lack the morale to approach girls. But my case is different. Because I come across girls of different shapes and sizes while working as a cashier is easy for me to start up a conversation with most of them. I usually complement their hair style and sometimes their glasses and gauge their responses. If there is a sexual vibe I normally go for the kill and tell them the look pretty/beautiful and have a nice ass/booty. If possible I ask for their numbers and sometimes they give it to me and sometimes they don’t.

I also don’t have any problem starting a conversation with a girl at the bus stop. I normally start off by asking what is the time and then go from there. My friends tend to believe that as an introvert I should find it difficult to start a conversion.

What I hate most is rejection. Especially after getting a girls numbers and after texting back and forth and you ask her out for lunch together and she says she has a boyfriend and she is sorry for creating a wrong impression. This explains the reason why I don’t want to ask my fellow coworker OR church member out because if she says no it creates awkwardness so you are forced to either quit the job or quit coming to work.

My friends might argue that I go after extremely beautiful girls most of whom they consider above my league maybe that is the reason I get turned down. They argue that I should start from maybe the average girls and then walk my way up. But the truth is that the ones that have shown interest in me either have a baby already or they are just average when it comes to beauty. I have dated very beautiful girls back home so is difficult for me to go after the not so beautiful ones.

Whenever my friends develop blue balls most times they hire an escort or go the club and pick up a girl. But for me I find it difficult to do. I always prefer to have sex with girls that I have an emotional connection with. I don’t really fancy the idea of sex in exchange for money. On two occasions I had the opportunity of sleeping with escorts after agreeing on the price I opted out on the last minute.

QUESTIONS
I really want to change my introvert nature and be able to improve my social interaction. I want to be able to talk to a person, and keep on talking, not just stop talking awkwardly when i have nothing to say. Is there any introvert in the house who has been able to overcome problem of maintaining conversation for long? It will be nice if you share how you were able to overcome this particular problem

I really want to be able to start dating again. I want to be able to develop a huge sense of humor and make people laugh especially when it comes to dealing with ladies. This month will make me 22 years old and am getting worried. Is there any introvert in the house who is currently in a relationship? Where did you meet your soul mate? How did you ask her out? Please remember I have a policy of not asking my coworkers and church members out. At this point I can’t afford to sacrifice my job or church just because of a girl

For Introverts in the house who are already in a relationship did you ask your girlfriend out or did you wait for her to signal some green light? I normally prefer to take the bull by the horn and ask her out instead of waiting till eternity. If she says no I can deal with the rejection since I don’t get to see her everyday
Also when a girl starts asking you what you are doing for the weekend does it mean she is interested in you?

And also I have girls asking me if I have kids and if I am in a relationship what is the best way to answer such questions and does it mean they are also interested in me? Being in a new culture everything seems so new and strange to me and am still trying to get my head around being in a relationship

Also for Introverts in the house who are not in a relationship how do you deal with blue balls. Do you just masturbate just to get rid of the sperm or you do you just hire an escort or go the club and pick up a girl to sleep with without any form of emotional connection.

Please do not quit your multinational oil job and come over to Canada to start fresh. If you are making anywhere from #300,000-#500000 per month as salary in Nigeria then quitting your job to start afresh abroad might become a nightmare. My best advice to you would be to retain your job in Nigeria and maybe visit Canada and then survey the terrain so you can be in a better position to make a more informed decision. Abroad is not as easy as most people make it seem.

My Sister’s Husband is in the same exact position as you. He makes roughly about #300000 per month as salary working with an oil company in Lagos. He recently received a #2 million relocation fee to move to Port Harcourt. But he now wants to abandon his job and come to America to start afresh. I have tried to warn him to stay back in Nigeria that America is not as easy as people make it seem. But he doesn’t want to listen. Hopefully he will come and experience what I am talking about.

One thing for sure is that the Canadian society will offer you a better standard of living compared to Nigeria. Good roads, Stable electricity, Security etc… but all this comfort comes at a cost.
The white man is not silly. The system is designed in such a way that most money you make goes back into the country. Besides if it was so easy to save money most people will work two or three jobs to save up money and leave the country and will only come back to visit. But the big question is how do you save up the money when you have to worry about rent, light bill, cable bill, water bill, auto insurance, tuition etc

When you try to explain to your relatives back home what you are passing through and ask them to hang on that you will send them some money later. They think you have the money but you don’t want to give them. When you see people who have spent 5-10 years living here is not really their fault, sometimes they feel stuck in the system.

However if you decide to quit your job then the most important thing is to have a solid plan even before you decide to come over. Even when you arrive be focused and discipline. Once you lose focus in this country is always difficult to get back on the right track.

CFCman:
I know right. That N55 is like N17,600. In Naija, you wou would have saved N16,000 at the computer village.

That brings me to another point. It's also important to know some basic stuff about fixing toilets and sinks. A certified plumber, in my area, could charge up to $90 for some repair work on those things.

True. I live in an apartment and most repair work is carried out by the management. The usually send someone over to fix it and often times is usually a Mexican. It makes wonder how come Mexicans know all these stuffs. Do they learn about all these things before coming to the United States.

But One thing I like about the Mexicans is that they are always willing to help one another just like the Asians.

SmartMugu:
To me, the system is designed for everyone to keep working and end up spending whatever they make in the US in the same country.

I totally agree with you. Like I said before if you are looking for a better standard of living then America is the best place for you. One thing for sure is that the American society will offer you a better standard of living compared to Nigeria. Good roads, Stable electricity, Security etc… but all this comfort comes at a cost.

The white man is not stupid. The system is designed in such a way that most money you make goes back into the country. Besides if it was so easy to save money most people will work two or three jobs to save up money and leave the country and will only come back to visit. But the big question is how do you save up the money when you have to worry about rent, light bill, cable bill, water bill, auto insurance, tuition etc.

When you try to explain to your relatives back home what you are passing through and ask them to hang on that you will send them some money later. They think you have the money but you don’t want to give them. When you see people who have spent 5-10 years living here is not really their fault, sometimes they feel stuck in the system. I have already spent about four years here and still trying to figure it out

However some people have been able to figure out the system and how to work around it. You see them shipping containers and going back to Nigeria 3-4 times a year. But most of them are not willing to let you know how they initially raised their first capital.

The most important thing is to have a solid plan even before you decide to come over. Even when you arrive be focused and discipline. Once you lose focus in this country is always difficult to get back on the right track.

Hopefully everyone of us will make it in this country.

CFCman:
Okay.

You can imagine the inconvenience of shelling out $50 for a new charger.

I didn't want to spend that much but I had no other choice. That was even the cheapest I could get. At Best Buy it cost about $55 and about $60 at Walmart.

Meanwhile if I was still in Nigeria I could take it to a computer shop and they would probably fix it for no more than #1000. Even If I decide to buy a new one it wouldn't cost me that much.

CFCman:
OP, Welcome to the US. Most of your observations are spot-on, especially the church-going part and work.


-In the US, if your home electronic appliances develop a fault, it's cheaper and more convenient to buy a new one.

-I'm yet to see a cobbler (shoe maker) here. If there is a tear in your shoe or sandal, you simply by a new one.

Did you check Dry cleaning stores? Dry cleaning stores in my state are mostly operated by Asians and Mexicans. Most stores run by Mexicans do offer shoe repair services. So if there is a tear in your shoe you can take it to them and they can fix it.


True. When my dell laptop charger developed a minor fault, I tried looking for a repair shop but I could not find any. I also checked at a pawn shop but they do not sell laptop charger separately. I tried watching some YouTube videos but I still couldn’t fix it. I just gave up and ended up paying almost $50 for a new dell laptop charger.

bigfrancis21:
Yea that's true. I almost forgot that option of transferring sevis fee payment from one sevis id to another. Yea he can definitely try that given that his payment is still valid within 1 year from payment.

@bigfrancis21 please check your mail. I just sent you a PM

In a twist of fate that could yet bring succour to Nigeria and Tanzania, the Chadian Football Federation has rescinded its decision to withdraw from the 2017 Africa Cup of Nations qualifiers if Caf would accept it back.

The Chadians announced this news via their official website on Thursday evening, four days after they threw Group G into disarray with their decision to drop out of qualifying due to financial constraints.

Looking at the financial implications of withdrawing which has attracted a $20,000 fine from Caf, the Chad federation said it thought it wise to remain in the competition rather than spend the money on a fine.

“We will return to qualifying and we regret any logistics problems that this might have caused Caf, our fellow group opponents and our fans,” a statement from the general secretary of the Chadian Football Federation, Amadou Keita Chaibou, read.

“It is our hope that this return will help us avoid more sanctions seeing that our poor country cannot afford to pay $20,000 when we claim not to have money for flights and accommodation.

“We also hope that it would not affect our plans to qualify for the World Cup in 2018 so we have returned like prodigal sons wishing that Caf will accept our plea.”

However, the decision on whether to accept Chad back to the competition would be made by the Caf Competitions Board in the next few hours.

It is good news for Nigeria and Tanzania who had given up on qualifying for Gabon 2017 due to the soar away success of the resurgent Egyptians.

Now, any one of the two sides could still garner enough points to finish in second place and with points high enough to see them through to Afcon 2017 as one of two best second-placed sides.

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/news/renewed-hope-nigeria-tanzania-chad-230000637.html

Leicester City’s Premier League title chase could suffer a major setback today as a newly-created UEFA committee decide whether to deduct points from them.

The Complete Results Alteration Panel was hastily put together to safeguard the investment of big clubs who have spent big but might not get a place in the Champions League – or any subsequent breakaway European Super League.

They meet for the first time today and among their proposals are a minimum points guarantee to all clubs who have spent in excess of £100m on players and a capped points total for smaller clubs.

They have the power to redistribute points with immediate effect which could not only mean Leicester lose points from wins against Chelsea, Manchester City, Liverpool and Tottenham but Chelsea would regain all points lost to smaller clubs and immediately go back into the top four.

Jose Mourinho has cut short his talks with Valencia to return to Stamford Bridge for a third unveiling as Blues boss shortly before midday.

UEFA spokeswomen Gail Cliché said: “The season is a marathon not a sprint and at the end of the day it’s a results business,” while CRAP mouthpiece Blep Satter added: “Football is too important to allow players who were playing in the third tier of various leagues to edge out valuable household names whose presence is crucial for new money-spinning TV deals.”

Source: https://uk.sports.yahoo.com/news/premier-league-exclusive--leicester-to-lose-points-as-jose-mourinho-set-for-shock-chelsea-return-162743274.html

bigfrancis21:
Responded.

@bigfrancis21 please check your mail again.

@bigfrancis21 please check your mail. I just sent you a PM

ttmacoy:
That is not true. Not saying everyone will make it in America, but I know a lot of Nigerians in good jobs living good lives.

I guess it depends on your definition of making it. If you define making it by hitting billions, then Nigeria is a better choice for you though there is a higher probability you will not make it there. For those who are looking to make it the proper old fashioned way of working your way to success as opposed to overnight unexplainable wealth, then many of them make it in America.

It is not easy, it will take hard work, preservation and determination but like for like you have better chances of making it legally in the US than Nigeria.

Also don't forget you are new in the system so it will take time to adapt and get into the system proper, and it is harder when you don't have a support system around you like you did in Nigeria.

There is nothing wrong with going back to Nigeria if you believe that is where you will be happy or achieve your dreams, but stop generalizing and making statements that no one makes it in America to justify your decision. People will make it in America same as Nigeria, and there will be those who will not make in America same as Nigeria.

I quite sure you did not even read my post. I never said no one makes it America. I said that the small number of people that eventually make it is negligible compared to the large number of people who eventually get stuck in the system.

Like I said earlier and I stand to be corrected If you are looking for a better standard of living then America is the best place for you. But if your aim is to “hustle” and “hit it big” then I don’t think here is the best place for you.

My post is not aimed to discouraged anybody from migrating to America but to paint the reality on ground. A lot of people tend to live in denial but regardless If you still desire to come to America you are more than welcome.

_{This will be my last post on this topic. I don't want to appear as if I am derailing this thread. Please let move on and continue with the purpose of thread which is to celebrate visa approvals and encourage other people intending on migrating.}

ttmacoy:
That is not true. Not saying everyone will make it in America, but I know a lot of Nigerians in good jobs living good lives.

I guess it depends on your definition of making it. If you define making it by hitting billions, then Nigeria is a better choice for you though there is a higher probability you will not make it there. For those who are looking to make it the proper old fashioned way of working your way to success as opposed to overnight unexplainable wealth, then many of them make it in America.

It is not easy, it will take hard work, preservation and determination but like for like you have better chances of making it legally in the US than Nigeria.

Also don't forget you are new in the system so it will take time to adapt and get into the system proper, and it is harder when you don't have a support system around you like you did in Nigeria.

There is nothing wrong with going back to Nigeria if you believe that is where you will be happy or achieve your dreams, but stop generalizing and making statements that no one makes it in America to justify your decision. People will make it in America same as Nigeria, and there will be those who will not make in America same as Nigeria.

Did you read my earlier post about my definition of "making it"? this is what I said earlier:

My definition of "Making it" most likely will be different from your definition of make it. Having maybe $5000-$10000 saved up incase of emergence, maybe 2-3 fairly used cars and maybe a home if you can afford one. The reality on ground is that most people live paycheck to paycheck and barely have savings.I might be a lot bit straightforward but that's the truth based on my encounters and observation.

You said is all about "information and strategy". What kind of "information and strategy" are you talking about if I may ask. Can you state the "information and strategy" so that everyone of us can benefit from it.

landuseact:
I respectfully disagree with what you said here. only a very few people make it? that depends on your definition of make it. There are quite a number of Nigerians here who are middle income earners and even few that are high income earners. How is that different from the reality on ground in Nigeria? Like sureboy rightfully said the system was not structured for foreigners to necessarily wait behind after education but we choose to take advantage of that (I will be guilty of this too in some months). It's all about information and strategy, whoever lives 10-20yrs living from paycheck to paycheck here would most likely have lived that same way if he/she was in Naija.

My definition of "Make it" most likely will be different from your definition of make it. Having maybe $5000-$10000 saved up incase of emergence, maybe 2-3 fairly used cars and maybe a home if you can afford one. The reality on ground is that most people live paycheck to paycheck and barely have savings.I might be a lot bit straightforward but that's the truth based on my encounters and observation.

You said is all about "information and strategy". What kind of "information and strategy" are you talking about if I may ask. Can you state the "information and strategy" so that everyone of us can benefit from it.

sureb0y:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! another I regret coming to yankee/there's nothing here/it is easier to make it in Nigeria post. I wonder the Nigeria you're talking about o. For every bad thing you can say about what you're experiencing there in Yankee, I can say 4 things about the madness here in Nigeria. The same Nigeria where stupid people praise the leaders for doing the most basic thing they're supposed to do? You vote someone into office and you start thinking they're gods for doing their jobs? Ambode won't let us hear word because of streetlights in Lagos. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it is a bad thing, my point is the standard here in Nigeria is sooo low that we celebrate stupid things like that. streetlight? really? you'll see people celebrating 48 hours of uninterrupted power supply, new cars for the Police, etc. it's comical.

The same Nigeria where you can't trust the police to protect you? You have your rights violated effortlessly. Nigeria where a man can chase a woman out of his house after 20 years of marriage with nothing just because he's tired of the marriage? the same woman he forced to become a housewife o. The law in Nigeria is a joke. There was a law recently that the policemen should stop checking people's phones on the road. loool... make Naija policeman ask you to bring your phone make you do like mad person, you don ready to follow them go station and sleep for cell be that after you don chop countless slaps. Them fit set you up sef. I don tire sef to dey think of the stupid things wey dey naija. you even complained about weather, looooool call your people for Lagos and ask them how dem survive this easter period. No light, no fuel for gen, the heat sef na die. you come dey there dey complain of weather. when if e dey too hot, you fit on fan or ac anytime or if e dey too cold, you fit wear winter clothes or turn heater on (at a large cost, I know). Ogbeni!!! no make boys vex for you o. you even get funding to study abroad with your family supporting you with money. you come dey here dey complain. lool

"I am coming to Nigeria after my degree and don't ask me why"... okay o, I want to assume there's a 400k-a-month job already waiting for you without interview. It's your decision. Forgive me but in my opinion, most of the things you have complained about are very very basic... things you should overlook!!! Racism? weather? culture shock? food? lmao... Bro, abeg... there's something they call adaptation. They speak English in yankee, it's just your accent, with time... you'll improve and it's gonna get better. There are worse things to complain about Sir, these ones are just disappointing. Drive your 2002 Honda accord, Jam oyinbo man for Lekki wey dey drive G-Wagon make policeman dey there, you go see as Naija policemen go treat you like trash. They'd treat you in your own country like a slave and treat the foreigners like gods. so which racism you dey complain about? Loneliness? you are complaining about loneliness? loooool... smh.

Young boys in their 20's driving expensive cars and leaving you to wonder how they're doing it is called sleeping on a bicycle. it is everywhere. "Even when you probe them for more answers they are unwilling to let you know what they actually do for a living". so they should tell you because you're an FBI agent? lol... shine your eyes bro. You don't even know what they're doing but you're convinced it's something shady. na wa o. If them tell u now, you go say u no fit do am, you go cast them say e.g. Bolaji wey dey Texas, na him mama mate him dey marry and na because of money him marry the woman.

hopefully in 5-7 years time I must have saved up a lot and head back to Nigeria to start a business and start a new life. lmao... Bro, This statement is even contradictory, 1. for you to believe you MUST HAVE saved a lot in 7 years, it means you're expecting to make money in 7 years, and this in turn means bad as e bad, you still think it is possible to make a lot of money in Yankee despite as u dey complain. so make una no dey come up with these kind arguments like say na die. 2. you want to come and establish a business in Naija with your life savings? omo... bros, is this Nigeria you're talking about the same one in west Africa? I don't know you o, but this idea of "start a business in Nigeria", you better think am well. It comes with no guarantees.

Only a fool thinks the American dream is to enter Yankee and magically become a millionaire and start sending money down to your home country (I'm not calling you a fool o, don't get me wrong. I mean anyone who's expecting paradise as the American dream is on a long thing). A sensible person sees the dream as an opportunity to have a better life, a better standard of living. That's what it is, an opportunity. It comes with no guarantees. Don't put yourself under pressure to succeed at so so and so age, don't use the success of others as a yardstick to judge urs and condemn yourself. Do your own and learn how to make yourself happy without these materialistic things. Some people will watch Davido videos and how he spends money and be sad for weeks, asking God why they can't enjoy similar things.

Give yourself time, a lot of it. Learn to adapt and overlook many things. Don't lose the ginger after just a few obstacles. There are ups and downs everywhere. Roll with people who have been successful with the american dream and learn from them. Unless it's in the extreme form abeg make we hear word about this racism nonsense. I can call you a monkey, you would laugh. if white man call u monkey, you go vex say na racism. Bros if you get like 9 inches down there, enter gym... get six packs, powerful arms, better chest. drink agbo wella make you get better spinal cord. see as girls go dey chase you up and down. Overlook the negatives and focus on the positives. In this life, you make your own luck.

In summary and conclusion: No be everybody go make am for yankee, and no be everybody go make am for Naija. People can complain and complain over very basic things. some will complain over taxes like the electricity, roads, etc were provided by the greek gods. No be money dem use construct and maintain those things? Keep your expectations low so you won't get disappointed. The world isn't perfect. There's hardship everywhere, don't lose the ginger. Enjoy your life while you have it. Instead of complaining, ask people as e dey go and don't sleep on a bicycle.

Easier said than done. Hopefully when you arrive you will understand how the system is structured. From my observation only a very few people make it. Many more end up with just maybe a greencard and a United states passport to boast of after spending 10 years to 20 years abroad and only live paycheck to paycheck and are even ashamed to go back home.

12inches1:
Hi everyone. I used to be a member of this thread this time last year. So I'm right here in the U.S. Living the American dream *rolls eyes* I quit my job to study MS in Civil engineering. Trust me school, here is way better than Nigeria. Also way tougher. At least the course I'm doing. Everything is so advanced and computerised. I have a research assistantship that fully funds me. And my people at home still try. So money is not a problem. However, the challenges here are a lot. Weather, different food (I still have running tummy frequently from food here), culture shock, language (Yes language. Nobody seems to hear what you say and you have to repeat yourself over and over again til its gets tiring), Racism ( Yes, I said it!), loneliness and too many other things to mention. I'm still hanging there though.lol. The change was very rapid trust me. If you have not been outside Nigeria before it would be very tough. It even may be tougher if you didnt grow up in an urban area in Nigeria. Sometimes I think it's all just not worth it. I also believe America is not what it used to be. Many people are finding that out very very slowly. Getting a well paying jobs even for the American themselves is challenging. You also give up a lot to be here. You don't see your family for long. And when they dont hear from you, they think you're snubbing them. But it's actually the time difference. Well I wish you all luck. But if you eventually make it through admission and eventually VISA. I have just one statement for you.

PREPARE FOR BATTLE.
After months and months of thinking about it. I would return to Nigeria after my degree. Crazy right? Don't ask me why? But I believe I'm better off in Nigeria thank you. Cheers and goodluck.

I totally agree with you. I used to believe that the “American Dream” was true but having been here for almost four years am beginning to realize that the so called “American Dream” is simply a mere fallacy projected by western media.

One thing for sure is that the American society will offer you a better standard of living compared to Nigeria. Good roads, Stable electricity, Security etc… but all this comfort comes at a cost. Using myself as an example after being paid every two weeks and when you are done paying all your bills you hardly have enough savings left in your bank account. I stand to be corrected but I believe one stands a better chance of “hitting it big” in Nigeria than in America.

I have also seen maybe a few Nigerians who are living a comfortable lifestyle here in the United States. I have met a doctor who lives in a nice gated community and owns about four different cars. The other people I have met mostly young guys in their 20’s are either into one or multiple shady businesses because their income does not justify their exorbitant lifestyle. I am yet to wrap my head around how they are able to own about three different cars including a range rover while working a minimum wage job. Even when you probe them for more answers they are unwilling to let you know what they actually do for a living.

I also noticed that most Africans not just Nigerians are unwilling to help one another. I think we need to learn from the Indians, Asians and Mexicans when it comes to helping and cooperating with one another.

If you are looking for a better standard of living then America is the best place for you. But if your aim is to “hustle” and “hit it big” then I don’t think here is the best place for you.

I know a lot of people will ask what are my still doing in America since is no longer easy out here.

For me I gave up a lot to be here and I already know I can’t go back to Nigeria empty handed and start fresh. Giving up easily is not my forte. My mum is already dead and my dad has married a new wife. Came here when I was 18 and I will be 22 this year so I believe age is still on my side. I have already mapped out a plan and hopefully in 5-7 years time I must have saved up a lot and head back to Nigeria to start a business and start a new life.

If you have a "nice professional job" back in Nigeria and you are thinking of quitting your job to start a new life in America please have a rethink. Remember is not always greener on the other side.

Sanchase:
95 percent of pple here are looking for the opportunity to take advantage of the other from people offering higher rates than the BDC in Nigeria, people looking how to facilitate yahoo funds to people looking for how to swindle your cash through the paypal payment reversal.

Nigerians will never change yet they want change !

You are very correct. Although there are genuine people on this thread but most people here are looking for a way to hack into your account and steal your funds. Just last week someone hacked into my skrill account through a proxy server and stole my funds. I have contacted skrill and they have promised to replenish my stolen funds.

Everyone needs to very careful to avoid being scammed. Just last week someone said they have $1m of inflow available for sale. I wonder what kind of legitimate business that gives such money even doctors in the united states don't have that kind of money readily available in their bank account. Even if you have $1m of inflow why can't you deal with BDC's who buy in large quantity.

Right here in the United States you see young boys mostly Nigerians driving two to three expensive cars all paid off you begin to wonder where they get all the money from. These are the same set of people who work minimum wage job during the day and engage in yahoo yahoo at night.

Everyone needs to very careful. The economy is already tough for people. No need to make it even more difficult for your fellow country men by scamming them.

warriboy21:
senior brosses..@imperious,bigfranscis n odas...pls wer can i get cheap textbook apart from amazon..i want something very cheap or bettr still the ebook version.
thanks

If your class require an access code inorder to submit your homework and quizzes you can buy an access code online and with your access code you will have access to an e-textbook free of charge which you can print. However if you prefer a hardcopy of your textbook what you can do is to rent used textbooks from sites like chegg.com, barnesandnoble.com, bookrenter.com & campusbookrentals.com. You will need the ISBN number of the textbook you wish to rent.

Mayflowa:
Yeah. It's a mechanical engineering graduate class. I feel so lost in class. No lecture note to start with! And the textbooks are creeping expensive like 50K naira for one book. UK has standard library for bookstore not here!

Am so angry

Most science classes require textbooks that cost about $200-$300 per textbook including access code.
When I took my first physics class I remember buying my textbook about $300 from amazon.
if your class require an access code inorder to submit your homework and quizzes you can buy an access code online and with your access code you will have access to an e- textbook free of charge which you can print. However if you prefer a hardcopy of your textbook what you can do is to rent used textbooks from sites like amazon.com, chegg.com, barnesandnoble.com, bookrenter.com & campusbookrentals.com. You will need the ISBN number of the textbook you which to rent.