₦airaland Forum

Ardar:
This problem seems to be affecting most middle aged men who spent their youth drinking massive loads of beer.

You see married men in clubs or in any celebratory occasion drinking Budweiser, hero, life, 33, palm wine etc to stupor.

Most of them can't even bend down and touch their toes, some of them have not seen their di.cks in ages while some don't satisfy their wives the way they used to.

This excessive consumption of beer is not only unhealthy but also makes men unattractive to their spouses.


I will definitely not find it funny if my future husband ends up getting pregnant after a few years of marriage, it's so unattractive and might push me to cheat.

swear to God that if the pot bellied guy give you N2m , you will not fvck him??

oya I am waiting for you to swear!!!

A man returned from work at night and heads straight to the bedroom to make love to his wife.
When done, he went straight to the kitchen to fetch himself a bottle of cold drink, only to find his wife there looking for something in the fridge. He asked his wife how she quickly made it to the kitchen, when they've just finished making love.
His wife screamed: "Aahh! That was my sister in the bedroom, she was so tired when she arrived, so I let her sleep in our room".
Alarmed, she ran to her sister and asked her why she didn't say anything, when her husband was making love to her.
Sister replied: "you know say, me and your husband no dey talk.
HAPPY WEEKEND.
Be careful this Weekend.

BURNABOY: wetin man go do?

bad things always happen when the Satan smiles!!

eh ya sorry ehn
another busola dakolo in the making

he who fight and run lives to fight another day,
no retreat no surrender is not for Nigerian soldier versus book haram guys ooh!!

shebi you want to fight abii!!
remember these people also died for Nigeria, some were killed, murdered, assassinated, or not even recognised,
ken saro wiwa dele giwa, mko abiola, bola Ige, muritala Muhammed, colonel Ibrahim taiwo, to mention but a few
while the smart dudes chill, relax and watch their obituaries in the news and newspapers

a word is enough for the smart!!

Nigerians! what else can you expect from them?
bad news everyday,

A woman was taken
by 5 men,
who according to
hospital and police report was raped by a
gang before
being dumped at a
bus
station!
Though she was unable
to remember
the events of the previous evening,
tests conducted
revealed that she had
been raped repeatedly.
There was a
trace of
*Rohypnol* in her blood.
*Rohypnol*,
is presently being
used as a rape drug.
It is actually
a small sterilization
pill which is now being
used by
rapists to drug their
targets at
parties.
The drug makes the
mind of the
target (would be victim)
go blank
so that she does not remember
anything that transpired and worse still,
the drug sterilizes the victim so that
she doesn't conceive
from the rape
and the rapist need not worry about
having his identity
revealed
later by a paternity
test.
The real bad news is
that the drug's
side effects
ARE NOT TEMPORARY,
they are
PERMANENT.
Any female that
takes it
WILL NEVER BE ABLE
TO CONCEIVE.
The drug is
administered by
dropping it into the
target's drink.
The girl wouldn't
remember a thing the
next morning,
nothing at all that had
taken place the
night before
will she remember.
Rohypnol, dissolves
rapidly and
easily in drinks, leaving
no taste and
no change in color
which makes it
impossible to detect.
These weasels can
get this drug
from anyone who is in
the vet school or
any medical university.
It's that easy and
Rohypnol is about to
break out big
on campuses everywhere.
Believe it or not,
there are
even sites on the
internet telling
people
how to use it.
Girls,
please be careful when you're out,
especially in a party,
don't leave your
drink unattended.
(Buy your own drinks, ensure bottles
or cans received are unopened or sealed;
don't even taste
someone else's drink).
For guys -
Please inform all your female family members, relatives and friends.
Remember you also
have sisters or
might one day have
a daughter(s).
Important News are
meant to be
passed!!

OYA MAKE WE CHUK MOUTH
Uncle, that your bastard friend you referred me to for a job asked me to sleep with him, if I must get the job. complained Vivian.
You are rather the biggest
fool, lazy idiot, her uncle
replied.You expect me to clap for you and go fight my friend for asking you for just a short time on your waist in return for 350k monthly salary job, a car for ur official upkeep? How many jobs has your hopeless, useless lazy boyfriend given you even after sleeping with you over a thousand times and over the years? replied uncle Alex.
A test case of morality and reality.
Who do you support in this case?
Uncle Alex or Vivian?
if na you who you go support?

after killing our people finish in SA , They will still say that they are our friends
After he devil has collected your first son, he will now give you a chicken to be rearing
Fair enough isn't it?

God will not destroy the world until the people that lived till the end of days will get fed up of the evils perpetrated by evil and wicked men till they will pray to God to end this sinful world!!

just two reasons why Nigeria is still underdeveloped 1. Corruption 2. Women!!
You want to argue, argue with your keyboard!!

Why do women say no to poor guys and go with only the rich ones?
Marriage is a no no for poor or broke guys nowadays
The only language that modern day woman speaks is money
I was fvcking a prostitute one day and she was like, you are paying too much for you to go just only one round only and I was like should I die on top of you?
Women nowadays are now smarter than most guys, they dump all the broke guys that toasts them, marry the rich man and cheat on the rich man again after marriage with the gateman or driver because they know that the richman cannot fvck more than one round!!
Facevalue will blame what is happening now in our society on men, but the smarter sex is the women, they take what they need from the society and leave the rest in shambles, with their if you will die go and die lackadaisical attitude!!
Most guys are only trying to live up to the high tastes and standards of their wives and girlfriends!!!
Gucci, Fendi, Ferrari, etc are their shopping lists that you as a guy must buy for them
Meanwhile if you check their account balances, they have more money than you the guy self!!
Just like the woman who used microfinance bank to save the name of one of her poor guys and central bank for her sugar daddy!

OK then why do women say no to poor guys and go with only the rich ones?
Marriage is a no no for poor or broke guys nowadays
The only language that modern day woman speaks is money
I was fvcking a prostitute one day and she was like, you are paying too much for you to go just only one round only and I was like should I die on top of you?
Women nowadays are now smarter than most guys, they dump all the broke guys that toasts them, marry the rich man and cheat on the rich man again after marriage with the gateman or driver because they know that the richman cannot fvck more than one round!!
Facevalue will blame what's happening now in our society on men, but the smarter sex is the women, they take what they need from the society and leave the rest in shambles, with their if you will die go and die lackadaisical attitude!!
Most guys are only trying to live up to the high tastes and standards of their wives and girlfriends!!!
Gucci, Fendi, Ferrari, etc are their shopping lists that you as a guy must buy for them
Meanwhile if you check their account balances, they have more money than you the guy self!!
Just like the woman who used microfinance bank to save the name of one of her poor guys and central bank for her sugar daddy!

oya start blaming buhari now,shebi buhari is your governor, senator, commissioner, house of rep, councillor, local government chairman!!! And buhari is collecting all the revenue allocations and constituency allowances of your zone!!!

just mention one money ritual film or skull mining film or evil spirit film that kanayo o kanayo is not there!!

they have been inspecting that road before I was born

emmysolo2001:
jesus why would someone with his normal senses write this.what is flap flap flap and klap klap klap.jesus

may be the op wasn't the one that wrote it, may be he just recycled it!!!

God please let my own life too make sense with millions in my account this year ooo!!!

consistency is doing something repeatedly over time!!
Glory be to God, the op keeps trending on this section time over time. #Godbless!

you want to beef, cut a slice and enjoy!!!

the op posted his shit without name calling and insulting any nomenclature, learn to comment on public opinion without dragging out abusive languages!!!

#peace

you dey vex?

enter aso rock bus, when you reach there hit your head on it!!!

It is really getting interesting to know that most men don't know that their sexual weaknesses or strength isn't totally an exclusive information to their girlfriends or wives alone.
Majority of women do always have that one person they believe are their confidant who they can comfortably share their worries or whatever experiences with.
So guys, don't just get mocked without you knowing, when ladies decide to talk about bedroom activities. Be the man you are supposed to be. You should be on the good book when they discuss your sexual ability.
Ladies over to you in the comment section. How do you talk about your guys behind their backs?

Writing or blogging is just like boxing, you need to learn, rhythm, timing, when to post and when to keep quiet, when to stay mute and when to trend like WiFi, when to reply every motherfvcking goddamn comment, when to throw jabs and punches, when to knockout, when to guide yourself from blows etc
Happy Sunday Nairaland!!!

Talent: amateurs call it genius while masters call it practise,
God's given is not the same with copy cat,

the op know his game very well and he know how to play, so the question is are you ready to play?

They all know what they have done to my moniker, that is what is continuing to taunt them, the more they hate, the more my moniker keeps hitting the hammer on the head on this section of Nairaland,

I just dey laugh, the railway that has already passed, you are now waving at it!!!

PUSSY IS DIFFERENT
I hear some ladies say pussy is pussy, No pussy is different, listen...
We have 3 types of pussy.
1. Tap pussy
2. Borehole
3. River pussy
Tap pussy is very tight and can only be found in a Chubby lady......
Borehole community pussy is very deep and it is also called bottomless pit.....that can only be found in a slim lady.
River pussy, is the deepest and widest of all, such can be found in a slim skinny tall lady.....and you can easily get drown.
Looks of pussy.
1. Some have baby face look
2. Some have angry face looks
3. Some look like burnt sacrifice
4. Some look like Forbidden city
7 Colors of pussy
1. Black
2. Yellow
3. Pink
4. Brown
5. Red
6. Orange
7. Arsh
Types of pussy flavor
1. Banana flavor
2. Strawberry
3. Onions
Sounds of pussy
1. Papapapapa
2. Klap klap klap
3. Flap flap flap
Conditions of pussy
1. Wet pussy
2. Dry pussy
3. Slippery
Pussy taste
1. Some taste like cheese cake
2. Some taste like soya mince
3. Some taste like maggi noodles
The good and Bad smell of pussy
1. Fish smell
2. Gutter smell
3. Palm wine
Good day
Abi you want more lectures Ni?

there is no light where I stay, but for security reasons I won't mention the name, but since almost a month, me and my room mate usually charge our phones at generator charging points that usually collect N20 from us per phone, right now I am using two power banks, if I use bone dead, I will go and charge it before the second one too dies, the local government chairman just brought a new transformer to our area, they have connected wires to it but they have not finished the installations, so when talking about light issue in Nigeria, it is not a joking matter at all

earlier today, I went to charge at the generator charing point and the guy was just repairing his generator, he said it has fault, i was like SEE TROUBLE!!!

before I came here I have never used power banks in my life, but when I see that I will be extinct like a dinosaur online, I was forced to buy TWO!!!

We are not paying for light in Nigeria, we are paying for darkness!!

wasiu alabi pasuma once pleaded with computer geeks . then he was why was he pleading with them then he replied, they can wear cap for your picture where you weren't wearing a cap initially

do you fear God? Fear media guys too!!! they are like a double edged sword, they can save you or kill you!!!

I own a company, none of my staff knew me as the owner except the Manager and the Secretary.
I don't visit, I told both of them not to disclose my identity to the other staff.
One day, I visited the company and I saw my Ex, I asked the Manager and he said she is one of their staff.
I instructed the Manager to promote her to personel officer, which he did.
A month later, I went there as a job applicant, as she saw me with my application and CV, she rejected me outright, she remembered all the past, and told me never in this company would I get employment.
I came the following day to beg her, she refused and called the security men to throw
me out, then I left.
On Monday, I went to the company in my real identity and I entered her office with the Manager who introduced me to her, she knelt down crying and begging that all the family depends on her for survival.
If you were in My Position, What Would You Do?

when the devil wears cross on her neck, then something is fishy!!!