₦airaland Forum

Lagos Lagos!!!


their is a garage very close to my street, very early in the morning like this, I used to always hear them shouting Eko, Eko, Eko, Lagos! Lagos! very early like 5am,


well as for me, I don't even remember the last time that I have been in Lagos!!!

with no apology to anyone, most Nigerian women that I have met, most and I mean most, like eight out of ten, don't know how to cook!!! most good cooks that I know are men!


they can only paint their faces, fix hair, fix nails, cook indomie, boil hot water, ask you to take them to fast food restaurants, that's all!!! ask them to cook ordinary rice for you, you go here ween!!!!!

Neymar may not be able to land all the punches, but when it comes to diving in the box eighteen, he is a professional in that one!!!

Nigeria: My beloved country, where everybody, including you, me and even the pregnant ones are all devils!!!

small devil, red devil, baby devil, big devil, yahoo devil, olosho devil, politician devil, tramadol and codeine devil, an so on!!!

GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!!!

; D

hahn:
This devil no dey die?

did you killed it in the first place
; D

; D
you dey chop everything, meat, fish, rice coke, bobo viju milk lacacera, malt, fanta, sprite, indomie, spaghetti, amala, pounded yam, semo all at once and and you don't want to shiit! are you a learner?

I entered public transport with some very fat women one day, and the driver was shouting "shift" "shift"

in my mind I was like: where do you want me to shift to now for God's sake!

By failing to plan, you plan to fail, God will not do for man what man should do for himself!
you stand in front of railway, then you re praying to God that you don't want to die, are you mad??

when the devil himself meets some people in Nigeria, he will salute and prostrate for them , before asking them, what they will eat or drink, if the devil is bad, they are worst!!!

they will start abusing him(PMB) now, wailers, oya now, where you dey? kick and start!!!

shebi her pvssy is for public use, make I use am small before the gateman and driver will come do there own, abi guys i do bad thing?

; D

MiztaBobiGentle:
If only you can stop smoking weed, you will realize how much of your brain you have lost. You better stop on time now that your brain can still allow you hold a phone and type on it even if you can only type something meaningless.

OK I smoke weed, no problem, shebi I smoked it inside my lungs!!!

why you dey use panadol for my headache !! ( lol!!!) I am laughing in China right now, please do you have Nigerian or Nairaland weed? so that I can smoke it!!!

as for the thread's topic, what I posted is my (and mine)/opinion, every one is entitled to their own opinion!!(think about atheists who say there us no God, that's their own opinion!)
public opinion, is abitch, learn to fvck it, bitch it, cum on it, and chillax!! (I don't beef nobody) my posts are all LUGGAGES AT OWNERS RISK!!!!

FELLOW NAIRALANDERS HAPPY SALLAH, ( MY REALM RIGHT NOW)

please guys this smiling emoji, please if I want to type it, please how will I type it, I have uses : and ) but it wasn't the one, because this guy wants to kill me with laughter right now!
@ Martinez39 please share how you usually, type that laughing emoji here on nairaland, you used it the last time you mentioned, (am anticipating your reply)

NAIRALANDERS WHERE IS MY SALLAH MEAT !!!! (LAUGHS!!!!!)

the day that you ( the guy) die, they (the women) they will come with a postér inscribed on it with (rest in peace) and (rot in hell) happily in their minds and they will go to the taxi driver that is giving it to them!!!

shebi you(the guy) wanted to die; help us (they will be saying in their minds) help us to greet Baba God when you reach heaven!!!!

maga don pay!! shout halleluyah!!! oh oh oh!!! mugu don pay shout halleluyah!!! eh eh eh!!! Kelly handsome!

the person that they (women)wanted to ignite is using using petrol to rub his body!!!! well done guy!!! a litre is N145!!!! lol!!!

don't worry yourself, they will start blaming Buhari now!!!

WOMEN AND ORGASM
Our last lectures was on orgasm and so today we are going to continue with tips for a woman to reach orgasm, best sex position for orgasm and health benefits of orgasm to women
TIPS FOR WOMEN FOR THEM TO EXPERIENCE ORGASM
We learnt that orgasm is the most sweetest thing a woman can experience in this wide world and that it takes place just within some seconds during sexual intercourse and only 2 out of 5 women experience it. Below are some tips for women to follow so they can get to the point of orgasm
- Free your mind, body and soul before going to bed, tune your spirit to sex, put your mind on it even before husband comes to bed
- take more of DATES AND VITAMIN B, it makes you to become honey
- Discover yourself first, know the parts of your body that moves you and turns you on and tell husband to touch them perfectly well
- Husband should do more pre-intimacy, suck breast, vagina and finger you
- Tell hubby to tickle your nipple, clitoris, neck , belly and earlobes, he can start by using his tongue to gentle massage your clitoris and breast before penetration.
- He should also suck your nipple while thrusting in and out of you, also licking your neck and earlobes at intervals
- Try riding him yourself while he touches your breast, this will stimulate the hormones responsible for orgasm
- When he is thrusting in and out of you, the easiest way for you to reach orgasm is for you to let your clitoris touches those areas around his dicks, press hard and just be turning your waist, and within 2mins you will cum
- Let your hubby not come out immediately he releases, in most women the sensation always comes again immediately the man releases, just hold his waist tight and concentrate, you will cum another time again.
- The sensation and sweetness of the man and the woman coming at thesame time is the best feelings ever, I call that SUPER SEX.
BEST SEX POSITION FOR ORGASM
If you're among those ladies, who doesn't experience orgasm oya gather here and come and try this style tonight you can thank me later
After riding him for some minutes, come down let him climb you now, wrap your legs around his waist, and your arms around his neck. With this position he will go deeper inside you, and you can start rocking your hips back and forth so he would hit your center of gravity. You can tell him to hold your hips and lift you up and down, so his dick can be touching everywhere of your vagina,and your clitoris pressing his dicks area, kai, Ewoooooo you will found yourself moaning loudly, screaming, all you need to be saying to boast his performance is
"Baby Bite my neck and screw me harder baby!
"Squeeze my boobs harder and kiss me"
"I know you like my pussy…. Now screw me like you love it"
Help him by spreading those legs wide open so he can hit you harder, the sweetness is coming
''baby i can die for you''
''baby i will love you forever''
''i cannot do without you my love''
Those words will just be coming out of your mouth without you knowing,and when you feel like you are cumimg, there should be no interruption, just keep hitting hard, any interruption will affect the sensation, concentrate and enjoy, you will find yourself holding his waist tight, pressing it tight to your center of gravity, until the sweetness is over, thats orgasm for you
abegg clap for me ooohhh because i know the sweetness was too much
After that you will look at him as the best gift God has given you, you will want to hold him and give him some sexy looks right inside his eyes and heart to heart discussion with him------- your love for him will increase immensely
HEALTH BENEFITS OF ORGASM TO WOMEN
- Orgasm is very good for the health of women, it makes you look young both inside and outside, reduce risks of heart attack
- It releases you of stress and makes you sleep well and deeply
- It releases hormones to the brain which reduces tension
- It makes your mind merry
- It helps to circulate your blood faster
-It eases your high BP
- It reduces anger and bitterness and create stronger bond between you and your spouse
WOMEM, LET ME TELL YOU A SECRET;
Do you know men always look younger than their wives because they must reach orgasm during sex before ejaculating?
So lets challenge them by trying to also look younger, do all your possible best to reach at the point of orgasm during sex and mantain your youthful look, hahahaha
REMINDER
For those ones who haven't, you can support this good work in any little way that you can and God wud bless you richly.
WhatsApp chat or call me:

I hope they don't say that it is Buhari that caused this one too!!!

guy it is very bad to disclose your dreams to the public, especially coming online to post it for everybody to see on social media!!! don't do that again!!!

as for the eating stuff, you said you are a Muslim right?
recite Suratul Ikhlas x3 , suratul kafirun x3 , suratul nas x3 and ayatul kurisiyu every time that you want to sleep and it will stop!!!

NOTE DON'T TELL YOUR DREAMS TO ANYBODY AGAIN OOO!!! (luggage at owners risk)

a word is enough for the wise!!!!

well there is no problem, with you hating someone, even Almighty God has haters,

but let's think like this, you hated the guy, (PMB) , Yet he won in 2015, you still continued to hate the guy, he still won in 2019, well keep hating him, may be you are not hating him, may be you are making him more popular and more stronger!!!

if you watch porn very well, you might have noticed that many women like guys with big dick, but they issue is not with the woman getting fvcked, its with the guy carrying the heavy load in his pants, most guys usually go for drugs to increase their penis or even surgery but let me ask you one question how will you feel after spending millions on penis surgery , enlarged the thing, slept with her and she still tells you its not big enough

yes women are like that!!! and if you watch porn very well, and have studied the vagina, you will have noticed that it is very very elastic, ( meaning it expands and contracts), take a road side prostitute as an example, aboki with long one come, he enters, chinedu with short and thick comes he enters, tunde with big strong and reliable comes he also enters!!! does the prostitute complains?? no because her pvsssy is rubber, its elastic,

most women know this truth, though pvssy size changes abit after giving birth, but research has shown that it can still regain it size back,
so my advice for smart guys is that don't kill yourself because of small dick,
I read one day on Nairaland that a guy said his wife s virgin pvssy is very tight for him to enter(penetrate), come and see how plenty people dey advice him, some even said he should bring his wife , that they will help him to break the clitoris!!! I was just laughing!!!!!
what they( women ) need during sex is not the size of the dick, it is intimacy, arousal and pleasure, OK what about lesbians that use their tongue to svck each other, some of them even prefer licking than dicking!!!!

I read a book (dream achievers, I have forgot the author but just Google it), it said that even if he gets 999 No's , he won't stop till he gets that single yes.

well your determination also matters!!! but for me I have been heart broken, lied to , even my latest one, I mean the girl that I toasted last, abused and rained curses on me when I called her, if you were there when I was calling her, you will even ask me "My guy wetin you do for this babe?" you steal her pant??

but don't get freaked by all those things!!! like some guys have earlier said, don't waste your time around girls, they are the (wee men) , we are the men, life started with man, but it just continued with them, we started life, (from Adam), so if you get my contrast, don't throw your gold to the swine, because she will trample on it, pigs don't know the value of gold,
so like dream achievers said, just improve on yourself and move on!! the only constant thing in life is change!!!, life is a teacher, the more we live the more we learn!
even if all I toast all the babes in a town and they all said no, (before before I might get pained and bitter) but right now, my heart is rock solid pure hardened gold, before she will melt it, she go cry weeeen!!!
so guy take a chill pill, relax and enjoy life, because it is only once!!
(just joking) may be that babe that your. heart is broken about right now, is receiving it from one of her boyfriends or sugar daddies as we speak!!!

I rest my pen!!!
Nairaland whatssup?

well our society needs more morality and honesty, but if those two things are all what you have as a guy, my guy you are dead meat!!! they ( modern day Nigerian girls) will have slaughtered you before your meat sharing day!!!

Eh you said I am filled with hatred,

well its because nobody or lemme say these whoores got no love left in their hearts!!!

you keep blacklisting ruga like it is a program from he pit of hell!!!
ask or search about obudu cattle ranch in cross river state, and you will know more!!! though FG ought to educate people more on this issue, but let's not throw the baby out with the water, in advanced countries, their cattle don't roam about like our own and they produce more milk than our own!!!!

borno state where boko haram is killing people, had more voters in the 2019 elections than Lagos where there was no fighting!!!

shebi you want revolution abii??

ehnn revolute inside prison now!!!!

eediot!!!!

WHY SOME MEN PREFER PROSTITUTE
1. A prostitute does not expect you to remember her birthday, not to talk of buying her gifts. You don’t also have to take care of her responsibilities like buying her body cream, paying for her hair do, buying her airtime, paying for her rent etc. Yet you still enjoy maximum sex for a little fee which cannot be compared to the expenses we spend on our so-
called clean Gf's. A friend of mine said his girlfriend won’t let him touch her or even talk to her because he didn't give her a
particular amount of money she requested. If this young man must give her that money before he would touch her then what is the difference between her and the prostitute out there?
2. You don’t need to remember the safe period of prostitutes
because non of them would come back telling you they are pregnant. But funny thing is the so called side chicks and normal gals will shock u with messages of I missed my period, I'm pregnant..
3. Prostitutes won’t compel you to get married to them as the last
thing on their mind is marriage.
4. Believe it or not, prostitutes are more disease free than the so-called clean G'fs, side chicks of ours. This is becos every man thinks her job is risky so there is need to protect himself with a condom and at the end 100 men may sleep with her
but with a condom but with the so-called decent clean and homely
G'fs,Side Chicks. it is the other way around you thinks she is decent so he doesn't need a condom, tomorrow Thabo will think the same and do it with her again without using a condom and
Steve will also think she is decent and safe so he too goes without a condom and at the end she has 100 men who have slept with her without condom yet she still parades herself as the homely, decent, clean, chick and the cycle continues. What a shame!
5. A prostitute does not expect you to satisfy them, they would do anything to satisfy you and make you come back for them again unlike the clean homely gals, G'fs, Side chicks, who expect you to take them to cloud nine while they only lie on their backs and spread their legs like frozen chicken...
MY OPINION...
80% of women are prostitute. It only depends if they are WILD prostitutes or DOMESTIC prostitutes. The wild ones are the
ones that stands in the hotels,bars,lodges,streets for commercial sex trade while the domestic ones are the so-called girlfriends we keep at home with the false impression that we have a decent clean gal all to ourselves, but unfortunately when we are away they sneak out to have sex with other guys and sugar Daddies, now tell me how are they different from the
roadside prostitute.?? My brothers, I see, it is the same thing. So whether you admit it or not if your GF sleeps around with Random guys she meets occasionally then you have a domestic prostitute in your house. So don’t judge other men who sleep with the wild prostitutes in hotels because you are in their shoes too...Now Ladies just think about it before you can Bite off my Head. I'm done....

fvck the whoore and marry the virgin!!

just two worded advice guy!! Move on!!!!

thanks man you are dope!!!

why are you using panadol for another person's headache

orubebe 's husband!!!

When all a woman has is beauty but she has no brains, the pvssy suffers it the most!!!
She hates you as a guy, but she wants your money! Am I an idiot? , you hate me and you publicly declare it that you hate me and you still expect me to just give you money like that free of charge without fvcking the goddamit out of your life?
I will even use Viagra of possible or shift your womb before I cum!!! Stupid Slut!!
Most women look down on men as disgusting and no future ambition person.
But when they see him starting to change clothes, new shoes, or even a brand new car, they start to give him fake smiles and false green lights, all in the expectation from them of him to spend some dough for them!!!
Who does not know that the ablution of cat is just to steal and eat meat from the stew pot?
All that they want is your pocket or wallet!!, they don't love you!!
Once they have collected what they wanted, they take to their heels and flee!!!
Branch breaks and the bird flies!!
They are off to the next client with big pockets
You see them all around their pvssy is for the highest bidder
Bunch of hoes!!!! and farm tools!!!!

You are thinking that they will love back in return?
(laughs)
Sit down there!!!
Like Tuface Idibia sang featuring Peruzzi in Amaka disappoint me: "I don wait sotay I come dey loose weight ooh!!"
You will wait from now till eternity!!

You want to beef?
Get a knife and take a slice!!!
Barbecues are good diets!!!

Nairaland Good evening!!!!

PEPPER: pound it, cook it, squeeze it, grind it, smoke it, do every goddamn thing to it, IT WILL STILL BE PEPPER!!!!!