₦airaland Forum

@ Mama-Gee;

Freiburger:
Why do u always criticise other people thought, ideal and feelings does that makes u perfect? What 're u up to?

oyb:
offtopic - these ridiculous shenanigans will not change the fact that u are nls dumbest poster - all volume and no substance

untainted:
I pity the man who is unfortunate to pick u as wife
You will nag him to an early grave.
I bet your sado-masochistic inclinations force u to court these verbal brawls for u to come.
What a waste; Phew!

calyx:
this thread aint dumb. . .last i checked, nobody forces nobody to make a comment

I'm glad that others made these comments. I was beginning to think I was only one who noticed how unbelievably dense this girl is.


@ Topic; For you not to trust someone means that that person has done countless things to betray you. And for me, when trust is gone, I'll dig a pit for that love or whatever it is and let it die there, cos I'm done.

mystics:
ZeeDee, your such a BIG IDIOT. My prayer is that we dont stumble upon IDIOTS lyk you.
How can you say such a general statement away from the topic. Am sure you are very ugly with a bad atitude you can not attract a decent man except of course an idiot so you can say that. God know if i want to choose a wife your IDIOTIC TYPE will not come near my list.

Haba! Take it easy . . . you don't have to take what she said so much to heart.

violent:
Exactly why i will have a sniper in position. . . any hand tht goes up will be forced down with bullets

And hey, i enjoy attending ex's wedding, u need to see the guilty conscience on her face when she knows that you know that her husband does not know but you know that she isn't going to be a virgin that wedding night, and of all the 1000 guest present, you are one of the lucky bastards who know what she offers beneath the white gown and "innocent virgin look"

kokoye:
Very childish.

My thoughts exactly. So you want to be there, not because you want to wish her well, but because you want to remind her that you disvirgined her.
But then that's why girls should be honest with their future husbands.

It depends on how much you can take.

One thing you have to ask your self is, " How bad is bad? "
When will you decide that enough is enough?

In every relationship, there is something called the balance of power. Learning to manipulate it is the key. If you have been burnt before, then you need to set some ground rules and try your hardest to trust that person again. If you can do this, then things just might work.

I hope you are not like me, cos if you are, when trust is gone, it's gone forever. And you'd have to be superhuman to gain it back.

Wow . That's a deep question and one I've asked myself many times.

Whitney Houston sang  " If somebody loves you. . .  won't they always love you . . . "
But that was before she met Bobby Brown.
Wasn't it?

I think if you really loved someone, no matter how much pain the person caused you, you'd always be grateful that they came into your life, and you'd never really regret meeting them.   You might regret the circumstances that took place, and the things that happened that drove you two apart, but you know that if you had to do the same thing over again, you'd still want to meet that person cos he/ she made your life a little better just for the fact that they were there.

Or maybe I'm just being sentimental.  

With the space of distance and time, the fire of  being in love will cool to a deeper, steadier emotion which lasts for a longer time, and it comes with accepting that person, loving them for their flaws and appreciating their virtues. And that steadier emotion is what is actually love.

This is a complex question because it actually brings a lot of others with it, such as knowing what types of people you can love,  knowing when to make it work and when to let go , and figuring out whether you will choose between love and respect.

I hope I helped anyway.

Hey people ,

                    I want to ask about something that a preacher taught in my church last week. He said that that loss of virginity before marriage has negative consequences on the destiny of whoever does it.  I was also told that it is a spiritual transaction and that some good aspects may be taken out of your life and other evil things may be deposited in it.

Also, we were told that God favours the prayers of virgins more than that of those who have engaged in premarital intimacy. This sounds extremely strange, even to me, but either way, I would like to know the opinion of nairalanders on this.  Is this true or false ?  And could you please give reasons for whatever your opinions are? The topic just bothered me because it partly says that God's love is conditional and something about the things he said doesn't sound right.

Anyway, all views are appreciated. Thanks.

Sagamite:
OK, student days are long behind me.  

Awa naa tin dagba.  

So you're now an elder abi. . . ? Chai . . . see what internet has done to me oooooo . . .

Sagamite:
Me, I am a bit slow with chics o.

What made you think I was undergrad in the first place?

Lol . . . part of being a student i guess . . . u just automatically assume that everyone else is. Especially if you don't know them from Adam.

Sagamite:
Me ke?  I no get game o.

I suffer from Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD), so that type thing no they happen for my life. 

And thanks for thinking I am a Uni undergrad. 

U no get game abi? Liar!!!!!
IF you are not a uni undergrad, what are you then?

Sagamite:
Na war when some of these guys are going 2 months without o. At that point dem dey hold WMD (Weapon of Mass Destruction). Just pray say no be you dem woo o.  

I assume you are one of those guys . . .   . It cant be me sha. I've learnt my lesson. No more chewing - gum boys . . . a .k. a Uni undergraduates.

Sagamite:
Thanks for clarifying.

At least I can say I never roll with guys at that level of thinking (boasting or lying). My guys are very open about when they are successful and when the girl plainly says no. There is no shame there between us. They say it as it is and "No" that is most likely the outcome anyway.

What we do is that we sit down, conduct a detailed step by step analysis of why he was unsuccessful. Brainstorm on likely mistakes, develop a root cause analysis map, exchange ideas on previous success in similar types of scenarios, we throw out individual advice, consult some female friends to review and validate points and he goes out to practice what he has learnt armed with new tactics.  

Chai . . . you really broke it down like you were going in for the kill . . . " Armed with new tactics ". Na war ?

~Sauron~:
U don't wanna miss those hugs on Sunday evenings.

Especially for new comers . . .   " Welcome in the name of the Lord!!!!! "

Sagamite:
Just to clarify, if you are in your man's house late at night (and sleeping over) and your best female friend calls you or a discussion leads to you having to reveal you slept over, you would lie to your friend that you are at home? That you have never slept at his?

Since you and Ibkaye are exceptions (I can understand hers as she is 18 years or less, so there is a higher chance she can still be a "V", you look in your 20s, your's is possible but more rare), I know for sure girls discuss such easily amongst themselves, and they would bi.tch if another girl is receiving (gist) and not giving. That girl would be isolated and excluded after sometime. It is even a talent competition amongst them to show how many [quality and eligible] guys make a move on them and which one was romantic and made them melt. Maybe you and Ibkaye just overplay the religious veil even with your best friends.

I just turned 19.
If i was sleeping over in my boyfriends house, yeah of course i would tell her just in case there was an emergency or something and she needed to get hold of me.

But there are two things involved here . Telling your friends that you are sleeping over, and then there is actively boasting to your friends of the guys you have or haven't slept with. The latter is what I am strongly against. Also, some guys take it too far. They say that they've slept with a girl even though they haven't.

And among my friends, everyone knows that they are allowed to keep some things private. Your sexual or non sexual life is your business.  But then I'm quite a secretive person so if someone started asking me too many questions, i would just blank them after a while.

Pittbaby:
cast jewels to swine and then complain about the treatment

EXACTLY. . . can you blame them? No! You gave them the chance in the first place.

na2day?:
u dont wanna know my reply

Whatever.

na2day?:
your gay friends still dont count as women 

And you know that they are gay because. . . ? U ' ve met them right?  

Sagamite:
Are you both honestly telling me you do not discuss with your closest mates the guys you have been with?  

And you are both women? Not men, not hermaphrodites, not transexuals?  

I take it, you do not even tell these friends when you are sleeping over or intend to sleep over at the guy's place?

Fuuuck me! I have never met girls like the 2 of you in my life and I have met a lot of girls.

I don't discuss such things in my life with my friends . . . I would hate for anyone to discuss me in public and so I try not to do it to others. There are some things you shouldn't discuss with even your closest friends .
I can discuss boys on a surface level of course, but anything beyond that is just . . . no.

[quote][/quote]

whitelexi:
But u fail to point out that "how good a guy is in bed" is actually a top gossip point for you girls. . .  and we know it!

Erm . . . not really . . . my girls don't talk about it . . . ( or maybe they do when I'm not there )

As distasteful as the topic sounds, it's actually quite true. Girls from broken homes look for love everywhere but within. Same with guys from broken homes as well . . .  they are just walking time bombs

@ Pweety4me ; A Shark is a fish . .  but a fish is not always a shark.

Are you saying she did that before you MARRIED her or before you MET her?

Its so many things . . .

It's insecurity
It's immaturity
It's pure wickedness

I personally hate and despise any guy who would do that but we have to admit that we girls do put ourselves in such situations. On the other hand, though, this is why we need to look for the men and not the boys. BOYS will always do something like this to gain a reputation. A boy might like you but he fears what his friends will say more that he fears you, so that will always take over in the end.

Liars. . .
Liars. . .
Liars. . .
Liars. . .
Liars. . .
Liars. . .

I'm sure you get my drift.

@ Topic;

I have one question to ask of you. How do you know she wasn't a virgin>? I have heard of some situations where some girls are born without hymens. She might be one of those rare types.

Did she admit to lying or did she insist that she was  a virgin when you confronted her?

If she admitted that she was lying, then feel free to take any action you like  against her. But remember that all this wouldnt affect you half as badly as it is if you didnt place such an emphasis on it. Also remember that [/b]HE WHO COMES TO EQUITY MUST COME WITH CLEAN HANDS[b].

I read some previous posters comments and they said that you had claimed to have impregnated some other girl before. If so, then how can you be a virgin? Please look into those claims and verify how true they are.

@ Topic; I dont WANT to remember 2009.

@ Na2day ; I can see that you have no case. You just want to pick an argument with someone. If you have nothing to say, then stay away from the thread because you're being really unreasonable right now. If I had actually said that ALL my friends were in bad relationships, then quote me but you have refused to do so. Obviously because I said no such thing and you know that. But instead you've chosen to insult me instead of stating your point even after I took the pains to try to explain my statement to you.


@ Tru Mantra ;  Ok, then,  what should I say that would pacify your wounded soul?  But i never knew Karma and Nemesis had off- duty hours . . .   hmmmm. . .

So where or when did I say so, then?
And besides, stop trying to derail the topic. My question is written clearly in my post so stop trying to put words in my mouth and pick arguments that dont exist.

Hehe, I liked the Pessimist, and the Suspicious, lol.!!!!

Lol, too funny!!!

Tru Mantra:
Luvbooks,

Emi, clown

Now you're gonna get nemesis a.k.a karma on your tail. Ha! 

The whole what goes around comes around thing is certainly true. Still , it's kinda complex.
Say I'm nasty to a stranger does that equal enough karma credits for my chick to treat me badly in the future or is that only enough for another stranger to be nasty to me?
And say I'm really horrid to my current babe, does that gain me enough nemesis numbers to ensure that the next girl i date is gonna put me through hell?

Again, do my good deeds cancel out my negative ones and so should I be keeping a spreadsheet of my deeds to ensure that each time I start to get a negative balance I get to doing good deeds to balance the total?

Luvbooks, you called me a clown, so you better say something nice to me to balance your karma credit ok.

Waiting! 

Lol,  ok, you're a clown, but you're a NICE clown. Hehe . . . 

But yeah, thats another thing. We do bad things to people but how bad is bad? Does that fact that it might not have been intentional matter?  And how is the karma balance measured?

But as regards strangers, I would like to believe that if you do something nasty to a stranger, sometime in the future, a stranger might treat you nastily as well. However,  someone once told me that if you play with a serious guy ( as in, break his heart, cheat on him, and so on ) that it comes back to you. And vice- versa if a guy does it to a girl who really likes him.
But sometimes the things one does to others doesnt really come back to them. Sometimes it happens to one's children. And thats when it hurts the most , because you as a parent knows that your child does not deserve to feel such pain. This doesnt happen all the time though.

@ Tru Mantra ;
     I think you're a clown. . .  kmt . . .   

na2day?:
so technically, it means all your friends all lack common sense to hook up with the wrong dudes (which by the way tells me what to think of u, remember, show me your friends and i will tell u who u are) or just like a poster pointed out, they must have done sumtin bad to sum1 when they were little and karma or whatever else u ppl believe in is catching up to them, right? 

First of all, I never said ALL my friends are in bad relationships. I have no idea where you got that idea from. If you ASSUMED so, then it was of your own doing and not because of anything I said. I am referring to those who are in bad relationships because they are the ones I am concerned about. Those who are in good relationships are happy and I have no cause to question them.

So I assume you are saying that you have never heard/ been in  a relationshop where the other person seemed to feel the same way about you as you felt for them , until you discovered that the person had an Achilles' heel you really couldnt deal with.
You dont even know these girls and you dont know the people they are going out with, so you cant automatically assume that they are the wrong guys. So don't you think you're putting the cart before the horse?
Like I said before, I'm not speaking for all of them. I honestly dont know why you are taking my comments the wrong way. This was what was said ;

rocnaija:
Hmmm, so just out of curiosity, do you think it's also fair to say maybe your friends in question had also done a few bad things in their past and them meeting 'the-boyfriend-that-beat-them' is also just karma?

There are so many ways to spin it if you look at the bigger picture, wouldn't you say?

And this was how I replied.

luvbooks:
@ Rocnaija;
      I do get your point, and I'm not trying to speak for all of them, but the cases which interest me the most are those who had never been in any previous  relationships but ended up being treated badly . I just put it down to ignorance because they had been too sheltered by their families. But that's not an excuse for the ways those boys made fools out of them.
     As for those who got beaten up, I honestly cant say because I dont know all of their relationship history. The sad part is that one of my friends who got currently beaten up by her boyfriend is the one who had the perfect relationship. It wasn't a matter of pretence, they just seemed like a perfect couple, because they spent almost all their waking hours together. The only time you ever see her is in class.   And even till now, the boy is still begging. But she's scared because this isn't the first time.

Someone asked if they did something in the past which would warrant the way they were being treated. And as you can see, I mentioned that the cases which interested me were those who were nice, kind, loving and all of that, but the boy still had to mess up in one way or the other.  I'm not a hypocrite and I told those who had erred where they went wrong. But for some girls I just didnt have anything to say because they really tried. In fact the only thing I could reprimand them for was trying too hard. Thats the point I'm trying to make.
Please don't jump to conclusions next time, ok? Thanks.

@ H202 ; Ok, maybe you didnt get my point. I'm saying that sometimes a person can make you so angry that you really feel like slapping their front teeth out of their heads. I have felt this type of anger before so I understand. And obviously I am not going to go dishing out slaps as you said, I'm the type of person who like giving people the benefit of the doubt so I wouldn't do that to just anyone.
But like you said, I'm talking about the exceptions that the other poster mentioned. Spreading tales, cheating, getting girls pregnant with no intention of taking responsibility.

kulyie:
lmao!!!! i wish i cud see d faces of dose dat wrote sum ridiculous stuffs but i want 2 direct d question back 2 d person dat asked d question.why is it normal dat a guy can hit a gal on her backside n everyone will make d guy dat hit her feel important n d gal silly or why is it dat a guy can sleep with a gal n tell everyone dat cares 2 listen how loose d gal,how can a guy get a gal pregnant widout even havin any means to takia of himself takless of the unborn child n d moda n has no plans to marry her.i can go on n on.so d slapin issue is just so minute compared 2 wot guys do 2 galz

I think this poster actually has a point. First of all, it's not PERMITTED as the question implies. In fact, it is very wrong. But there are also some other things that boys do to girls that are not PERMITTED. But guess what? It still happens. If you slept with a girl and then told the world about it, or that she was loose, do you not think that you deserve a slap? And if you did any of the above things mentioned, wouldn't you deserve one as well? But we all have to make a conscious effort not to do anyone any wrong that would warrant a slap. And not to dish one out either for no reason.