₦airaland Forum

@ Bluespice : It's all good! After all, this is a forum. One has to learn to take criticism, good or bad.

TheSeeker:
Jesus? He's too embarrassed at the manner which this world has turned into. Please don't let's turn this into a religious closet

Only Jesus? I wonder what God thinks of us. Don't you think the world has turned into the advanced, hi-tech version of Sodom and Gomorrah?

bluespice:
i was actually talking to luvbooks,
she seemed a bit earnest to to pin the sexist tag on NL alone

No I wasnt!
Ok, truth is, I've read and seen so many sexist threads on NL, where the woman is always to blame for one thing or the other. And in this case no one seemed to remember who actually killed the guy.
So maybe I did get a bit carried away. Lol.

TheSeeker:
What are you interjecting? It's not how long it's been but the motive behind such cold and stupefied attack -- how in devil's name could anyone have done that and claim they love some wacko? I still say girls from their 13 - 20 are brainless and imbecilic to be in any relationship, casual or serious. They are all so immature and can't distinct their feelings. They don't know when to stop and when to press on , they don't know right from wrong either. They are likened to the Biblical sucklings.

Take it easy on them. The young shall grow. But let's not forget that men within that age group have their own skoin- skoin as well. Ever heard of gang rape? It's horrible.

tamme:


. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?)
2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it.
3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. I.e all those ruff, rugged and raw “tell it as it is” girls, NOT WERKING.
4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky “soul” sisters… FORGET IT).
5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects)
6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband, YOU GO JONZ!!
7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beers. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCHOHOL.
8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails).
9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional families … keep it to yourselves).
10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and chocolate/natural eye shadows)
11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi, ogbono and all variations of rice. Home Economics is in order
12. Thou shall not be a “posh sturvs”. Sushi or lasagne…uh , really?
13. Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply DISGUSTING.
14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy.
15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO)
16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN ABORMINATION)
17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging with his friends.
18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy
19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or sexual imagination prior to meeting him. Let him “teach” you.
20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r’n’b or hip hop (common is pushing it). All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE).
21. Thou shall NOT an independent woman. (all those “I can pay my own bills” bullshit… Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one!
22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all).
23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to Kent, Leicester, Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE).
24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial. Personalities…BEWARE.
25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE FULLY.
26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin, Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans – Abortion belt always puts the icing on the cake. To complete the look, don’t be seen without your thick framed rectangular glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS).
27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be separated
28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always
29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING).
30. Thou shall not think about breaking this next commandment. The ULTIMATE, IF NOT YOU ARE FINISHED.It Will be an OYO STATE (on you own) FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. LADIES PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO THE BEDROOM WITH ANY WRAPPER, NIGHT SHIRT, WHITE TOP GEL OR SHELLY ON YOUR FACE. If you must Do all the above, LADIES, BURN THOSE GOLD AND BLACK HAIR NETS. Girls, we are all guilty of owning a hair net or 2. And we know that all the commandments before suggests that you must be a babe on P constantly. You have to FIND A WAY TO WORK AROUND THIS HAIR NET ISSUES. Statistics dictates that one in two marriages FAIL due to this.

The writer violated one of his/her own rules. Commandment 15. This write up is sarcastic in itself. But I get their point.
Thank God for his mercies. What if Men were allowed to write their Commandments regarding women and the way they should behave? E no go reach 30, no way. The least number must be 100.

TheSeeker:
You can imagine how exasperating it is. Lure a current boyfriend to be dealt with by an ex just so you can get the relationship going again. Let's say they weren't caught, what guarantee does she have that it'll get anywhere further? What assurance does she have that a boyfriend who could get mean to that point won't plan with his friends to gang rape her?

Exactly. I have to wonder why she didn't think of that. The things people do in the name of love!

FL Gators:
I just realize, no one is blaming or hating the ex-boyfriend, even if he was the one that stabbed her boyfriend.

Nairaland is so sexist, you know.

Nairaland reeks of sexism and generalization. Even the title of this topic is sexist in itself. "And she is a Female". It sounds like the first poster was saying ;

" Everybody come and see what another woman has done o!"
 
All Nairalanders rush to the scene ,

"See,  this is exactly why I said women CANNOT be trusted!"
" Very stupid girl! But then all women are like that. "
"This is exactly what my ex- girlfriend tried to do to me. Thank God I escaped sha! "
" God was on your side, my brother. If not, "
"Chai! I dont even want to imagine where I would be by now. But the next woman I meet is going to see PEPPER! I will so deal with her."
"Please , ehrm, when you are through, can I have my share of National chin-chin , ? Bwahahahahaha!!!"
"Yes oh! My good friend, How can I forget you?"

*** Having conveniently forgotten that it was a group of Men / Boys who killed the innocent lad. ***

DISCLAIMER ;This fictional conversation is a figment of the authors imagination. All similarites to anyone you may be acquainted with, dead or alive, are purely conincidental.  

It is true that an act done in ignorance can sometimes have worse results than one done with total knowledge. From what I read of her case, she was extremely foolish. Her actions from beginning to end don't make any sense. Would'nt it have been easier for her to dump the guy? But let's not forget that while she was an accessory to murder, she DID NOT commit the murder. I am sure that while she was walking away, she probably felt some concern for the state he was left in but chose to look the other way because not doing so would have meant losing her ex- boyfriend completely.
But those boys are really vicious , i have to say.

Smooth Criminal. Sometimes i just watch the video for the hell of it.

But he did well. In music i mean. Imagine winning 13 Grammy Awards in your lifetime. Only you??!

Sista; R u online? Av been on Yahoo since, just chilling 4 u oh!!!

@ Ndipe ; Thank you ooooo!!! My sister!!! Just what I was trying to say.

@ Poster; The only remedy I could suggest for this issue is ; TIME. Your brother, should not be so hasty to jump into another marriage so soon after losing his mother. The saying goes, "Marry in haste, repent at leisure". If he was willing to court the first wife for six years, then he should be prepared to wait twice that amount of time to marry an opportunist like the second woman. He needs to get over the pain of losing his mother, firstly, then he has to work out his feelings for his wife and ex- girlfriend in the meantime. But he shouldn't take any decisions now, for the simple reason that he will regret them later.

No need to rant, and I hope I didn't sound offensive in my earlier post. I'm just pointing out that you shouldn't say, "Jesus wasn't comfortable with him again", the fact of the matter is that Jesus , being the Son Of God, would have known how God himself chooses to forgive. God forgives and forgets and doesnt feel "uncomfortable" around us sinners because he knows we are mere humans. God knows our nature and this is why he chose to forgive AND forget - PERMANENTLY.
U mentioned Peter, if He was truly uncomfortable with Peter, he would never have made him the "Rock upon which I will build my church." Peter realized that he had made a mistake and repented. And Jesus forgave him wholeheartedly, and also promoted him, among other things.
Also, the story of the Prodigal Son can't be out of context , because i was trying to use it to show how God sees each and every one of us as his children. Yes, we are adopted children, but children nonetheless. The point of the story is to show the manner of how Jesus forgives us and how he treats us after we have fallen and run back to him crying. He puts us back in our former position and helps us begin again but he is never "uncomfortable " with us.

@ The Blessed ;
             
                       The Bible never said that Jesus was not comfortable with him and did not welcome him into the fold again. This couldn't have happened since Judas killed himself after Jesus's death. In other words, Jesus and Judas never set eyes on each other again in the physical realm. Besides, if Jesus was uncomfortable  with Judas, and never welcomed him back into the fold, that would be a great contradiction of the story of the Prodigal Son, wouldn't it?

@ Poster ; you mentioned that they had known each other for 6 years before coming together. That means that whatever disagreement they had must have been severe. If you are able to court each other for 6 years, then you should at least know how to come to a compromise when it comes to arguments. Something out of the ordinary must have been said or done to make the wife pack out.  Any info on what that was?

@ Na2day; ok, Will try to do better next tiime, hehehe

No it's not. I've been a victim of it and i would definitely say no. There's nothing worse than being a back up plan. Please tell her to stop!!!

@ na2day; LOL!!!!!

@ Biina ;

- Did you read the part where I said I didn't know that he even liked the girl at all. Until I found out from some other peeps that he liked her. And when I asked him, he said he didn't like her anymore. And it's not like I only asked him once. So what more was i supposed to do? Please tell me.

- He told me to keep it a secret. And I agreed. That, I agree, made me naive. I don't have a problem with that because you can't have a first relationship and not make a mistake SOMEWHERE.

- I did move on. Thanks for noticing.

- So you're telling me that if an ex - comes back, saying he made a mistake, and that he's sorry for everything which happened, you would turn the person away without thinking about it. I think I did the best thing that could have been done in the circumstances. People do say that when you don't know what to do, do NOTHING.  I gave myself time to think about it. I wanted him back, yes. Why did I want him back? Because love, lust, like, attraction does'nt die away that easily. Like I said before, you dont get over 3 months in 3 weeks. And unfortunately for me I really liked this guy.

- Yes he did mess up again. Like you said, " True to type" . He definitely was.

- Here is where I asked my friends what had been happening with them ( the boy and the other girl ) that made him decide to run back to me. And I found out what happened. And saw that he was texting her again. Then I called it quits.

- See ? This is exactly why I said you can't have read my earlier posts. No matter how social you are, there are some things you may not know. Also, is it a crime to like someone? If it is then we are all guilty of something which isnt even a sin. And I question my decisions because i realize that I don't know everything and i cannot know everything at this stage in my life. Unlike you.

- Yes, and dumping a guy is a sign that a girl is willing to waste her life on him. Obviously there was a time I was willing to do so before, but not now. Like I said, I'd made my decision before posting this here. If I had said "What should I do?" Then some insults would have been in order. But not when I'd already made up my mind. You can't castigate someone for taking the right decision and then say "obviously you're willing to waste your life with him ". You'd just be contradicting yourself.

@ Biina ;
And I simply told you that maybe reading a post is better than bashing a person for no good reason. Especially since you can't reccommend ANYTHING I should have done before deeming me fit for the borderline stupidity ward. You are also free to post what ever you like. But please watch it.

I never claimed to be the smartest person in the world. Should'nt that award go to you? Afterall your knowledge is all- encompassing.

Biina started this. So there's nothing to argue about.

@ Biina; Obviously you didnt read my posts very well. I said " I told him that I needed time to think about everything that had happened. And that we couldn't call ourselves an item yet. " In other words, I hadn't taken him back yet. If I had pushed him away immediately, people like you would have said  "Oh, but you never know, he might have changed ", and if I had wecomed him back immediately, you would have said " You should have thought about it first " . What I did was do a little research ( which was when I found that he prolly only dumped her only beacuse she wasn't being warm enough) .

Or was I foolish in wanting him back? Obviously you dont get over 3 months in 3 weeks, do you?

And I am NOT stupid. You are. I knew I had made the right choice, otherwise I would have waited for you to insult me before doing what I knew I had to do. You really need to work on your thinking skills. I didn't post this here to be insulted. Because that is the LAST thing I need.

gloriuss:
'luvbooks i think ur being rather irrational when it comes to urself and ur feelings. HE should be the one feeling guilty and these guilt ridden thots shuld be running thru HIS head, honestly. But i do understand that in a 1st relationship/propa bf, no matter how brief it is, there's always that sort of attachment. Like having a 1st love almost. I mean whats done is done. Either u were hasty in dismissing him or not, there shouldnt be any shoulda, woulda,coulda's, no regrets. Altho i know its all easier said than done!


@manoy, im getting INCREASINGLY UNCOMFORTABLE with ur last statement.

I love that song!!! Celine Dion, isn't it? "Coulda Woulda Shoulda",
I could get over him and no problem . But there is still the issue of my "friends " not telling me when all this started. Especially the other girl, the one he likes. I like keeping am open mind about things, but I always thought that when things like this happen to a friend of yours, you tell them. However, since she was prolly only looking out for herself, I guess that explains it.
Also, my so- called best friend knew all this was happening but was more interested in keeping the other girl's secrets than being a TRUE friend. Not only could she not tell me what was happening, but she could also help the other girl with writing out the texts to send to him.

Really? Then what word would you choose?

@ Gloriuss ; I posted another topic called "Am I being too irrational? "  because I wasnt getting any replies. You should check it out. It's kind of like ; Part 2 of this story. Thanks so much for replying.

@ Iamdnegro;

Thanks. It's just very hard cause i have to deal with betrayal on not one side, not two, but three sides.  And I thought they were my friends. Nyways, it's all good!!!

iamdnegro:
Thats not always tru. All the nigg@s i kno are crazy. They dnt wanna wife these sisters they just wanna straf em.

Aint no good negros in ma neck of the woods.

Too bad!

Wow.

You're very optimistic I must say.  Any more encouraging comments would be welcome.   

Hi Sista, I realize this is extremely off- topic,  and I'm sorry, but could I have your email address? I really need some advice from you. Thanks.

Thanks everyone, your comments were very helpful and funny, lol.
@ Sistawoman ; could I have your email address please? I'd like to talk , and you seem very wise about stuff like this.

Hello everyone  !!! I posted a topic on this link https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-272384.32.html about four weeks ago. 
I think you should read the link before commenting because there's a lot if background history.


Any way, for the benefit of those who have read the story before, I'll continue the story from where it all started again.

On Saturday morning, about 12.00 am or thereabouts, my ex- boyfriend came to my house begging me to forgive him. He went on his knees and apologized for everything that had happened, told me he had broken up with the other girl, and eveything. I was very happy to see him again, but I told him that I was still thinking about it, and that we couldnt really call ourselves an item yet.
So we were ok, until today. I went to my friends house , and we were watching a film when she got a text. When she got it, she was like, "Why is this guy texting me now? " And I asked to see the text. When she did, I saw it was the boy's number. When I saw it, I sort of flipped. Because that day, i'd heard that he broke up with her because he thought she was'nt making any effort to show him that she actually cared about him, but she could'nt really be bothered. She liked him , but she just wasnt used to him yet. I think.

Any way, considering all that has happened, I felt really hurt, because I was thinking about taking him back, and then he's texting her again. Because the way I see it, he cheated on me , in a manner of speaking, the last time he was texting her. And I could practically see eveything happening all over again. If he really likes me, and really wants to be serious with me, then WHY is he talking to her? I really don't want to go through everything again abd take the chance of it being even worse this time, so ,  I just told him not to bother and that I didn't think it was going to work.

Was I too hasty? Yes, no, I don't know. But I really need your advice. Thanks.

[color=#990000][/color]


IS ANYONE GOING TO HELP ME?

[color=#770077][/color]

I NEED ADVICE - THIS IS AN UPDATE;!




Ok,  I was determined to start the healing process, so I did my exams and tried to move on. But now, He called me yesterday night, but I did'nt pick up, so he came to my house last night and said he was expecting a package in the morning ( he normally used to send his mail to my house cos if he sent it to his home, his friends would sign for it and he'd never see it again.) So I let him in, and suddenly he was on his knees, asking me to take him back. I could'nt believe my ears or eyes! I thought it was a joke, but he said he was serious and that he was sorry for everything. Initially, I said no, but he said he had made up his mind about things . Then I told him that I had heard that he was already going out with the other girl. He said he wasn't and that that was all over.
So I 'm really, really confused now. Not just because of him, but because I also heard that my best friend played to the other girl's advantage while those texts were being sent, and that she wrote some of them herself. I try to be open -minded about stuff, but this really puts me in a difficult situation., cos I don't know who is lying to me.

PS. And he lied about the package. He wasn't expecting anything (he told me the next day).

Now I begin to understand the truth of the saying ' Ignorance Is Bliss',
Methinks we were all better off without this riddle with no solution!!!

But on the other hand, about sex, I actually did read a story about a woman who tried some some kinky stuff in the bedroom , but , amazingly, her husband shouted at her, called her a prostitute, and sent her packing. The poor woman was too ashamed to admit what she had done wrong to her aged mother. Eventually, after a month, he came back for her. But she never tried anything like that again. And later he complained of her being frigid.