₦airaland Forum

mama-gee:
In which you are already certified as one.
Useless ode.

Lol, out of everyone who made a comment on this topic, you were the only one who didn't understand what I explained so clearly. You asked what it was about and I asked you to read it. And you STILL asked what it was about. I mean, come on. You should have figured out that YOU are the ode by now.

@ Tru Mantra ; Whenever you're ready, ! I'll appreciate it very much.

@ Mama- Gee ;
Read it, think about it for five minutes. If it still doesn't come to you, then go to bed and sleep on it. And if you've done that and the next morning you STILL don't understand, then feel free to write yourself off as an idiot.

mama-gee:
What is this about again?

Read my first post.

@ Candylips ; Soup as in? Why do you say that?

@ Rocnaija;
I do get your point, and I'm not trying to speak for all of them, but the cases which interest me the most are those who had never been in any previous relationships but ended up being treated badly . I just put it down to ignorance because they had been too sheltered by their families. But that's not an excuse for the ways those boys made fools out of them.
As for those who got beaten up, I honestly cant say because I dont know all of their relationship history. The sad part is that one of my friends who got currently beaten up by her boyfriend is the one who had the perfect relationship. It wasn't a matter of pretence, they just seemed like a perfect couple, because they spent almost all their waking hours together. The only time you ever see her is in class. And even till now, the boy is still begging. But she's scared because this isn't the first time.

Hey people. . .

I have realized that people sometimes come to me to ask for advice concerning relationships and other life issues as well. Not that I'm an expert on those type of things. I have made my own fair share of mistakes. But in my uni, I have seen and heard about a lot of things. Guys beating their girlfriends, cheating on them, and all sorts of other things. . . and even though my Uni is in the UK, there are so many Nigerians here that nothing can be kept a secret.
So one day I thought of all my friends who are/ have been in bad relationships, and it seemed so sad to me that these guys are just playing the field. Some of them were really good girls who were just not experienced enough and the boy involved just messed them up entirely. Some others just dont want to let go of the guy even though he has treated them badly.
All I can do is think of the saying, " What goes up must come down/ what goes around must come around". But does this really happen? People do a lot of wicked things to others and walk away scot- free. And they get ready for their next target. Why must the wicked ones get away with  the things they do? And does karma really happen or is it just a myth?

And can anyone give instances if they have heard of such a thing happening?

I ask this because when these girls come to tell me, I actually do feel their pain. I give them the advice I think they need but I know it won't change anything. So PLEASE, answers and no insults,  I realize that no one really knows the answer to this question but any thoughts would be appreciated.

rebelious:
EXACTLY BUT MR MUGSHOT IS QUITE FUNNY I MUST CONFESS, HE REMINDS ME OF THE BOYS THAT USED TO GET BEAT UP BY GIRLS IN SEC SCHOOL, THE WRITE DOWN THE NAME OF THE GIRL IN RED INK AND BURN IT UP EXPECTING TO HEAR THAT THE GIRL DIED THE NEXT DAY.

Now this was quite funny I must confess. . .Lmao. . . . It just took me back to those days in secondary school when every rumour was true. . . hehe.

Bottom line, both men and women cheat on their partners.
Does that make it right?  NO.
We need to stop making excuses and think for ourselves, not think what society tells us to think.
Society tells you, "Oh, Men have higher sex drives, so thats a good excuse." or "Oh, African men are polygamous by nature let's all turn a blind eye to it"
All of which are arrant BULLSHIT.
Women and men, are emotionally, physically, psychologically DIFFERENT.
But we have one thing in common.
It's called a BRAIN.
So next time you choose to cheat, on someone you are married to, you can rationalize it whichever way you want to you can say, "Oh, he/she isn't doing this, and and they aren't doing that" , but think about it in one way and one way only , ok. "Is what I am about to do right or wrong? " If you can honestly say that its right to cheat on your partner, then go ahead.
But like someone said, if it has absolutely reached the point where you cannot stand your partner any longer and you cant deal with their sloppy habits, then for God's sake , just tell them that you absolutely cannot take it anymore and you want a divorce because you dont want to have to cheat on them while you are still legally married. That's actually a good way of knowing how much your spouse cares about you, because if they do, they will ask for reasons,  try to convince you to stay with them and will most likely agree to your demands.  Someone who DOESNT care, however, will actually be relieved that you took the first step and probably not stand in the way of you leaving them. Whichever way, you get what you want at the end.

How or why was religion a barrier? And why SHOULD it be a barrier?

190:
@chelsea

ABEG Nor mind all these yeye black assed girls (_{with special regards to madam italy})telling u
that your GF is a loser
wot do they know

its not like they are even sucessful in their relationships where they are~

if u investigate wella~
u wont be suprised that these same girls have @ one time been cheated upon
or failed where ever they are~

ure GIRL knows what she wants
and shes protective~
every caring woman would
she wouldnt do such if she dosent care~
she knows how desperate these days girls are
and since all eyes are on U
she Just has to be careful~
value her and love her~
most relationships like 70% arent like this
u shud be happy ure in one like this~
so just keep loving her and minimize the way u carry carry~

She's not protective, she's paranoid.

@ Topic;

I could see the signs.
He didnt love me.

The End.

Thanks for the write up, I've heard about soul ties before, but this explained a lot. So this means that repenting isn't enough, but if the soul tie is not broken, then u may just end up going back to the person over and over again?

Most insensitive is definitely this guy called Biina.
I hope i never come across him again, in this lifetime or the next.
And I don't get what you guys mean about Michelin and Sweetpie. I've read some of their posts and they came across as perfectly rational people.

There is NO nice way to say NO. The sooner you accept that fact, the better for your wallet.

Seun:
Do war movies make men dumber in war? Do erotic videos make men dumber in bed?

Case closed.

Please is there anywhere one can watch it on the internet?

@ Topic;

Leave first, and then slim down.

Darola:
Well mine opinion is that there are three things that cause pre-marital sex: lust, greed and impatience.
Now as for impatience, God never said never have sex. One is just to wait till marriage. But most can't.
Greed: Most people can't stand the thought of sleeping with only one person throughout their lives. They want to have a go at girls of all shapes and sizes.
Lust: Most people don't see people for who they are. They see them for what they have on a physical basis.

Now these three reasons are all sin, individually and collectively. Consequently most people console themselves with the fact that other people also aren't virgins. If everyone in the world is committing suicide, it doesn't mean one should follow.

As for finding a virgin, i think one should just trust God! You should pray for whomever you are going to marry, because God gave everyone of us freewill and so it's your prayer that could keep him or her in the right sight of God.

My advice for both the men and ladies: if you are a virgin, stay that way. If you are not, get back to God and nip it in the bud a.s.a.p!

Am just saying,

@ Darola;
                The anointing shall never depart from your head or become contaminated. Finally. . . !!! Someone with wisdom has SPOKEN!!!

@ Topic;

Some guys are so hardened to the extent that whether a girl respects herself or not doesn't make any difference. Like someone said, boys lie to get street credit. They lie and say I've slept with so- and - so, when they actually haven't. And unfortunately people do believe these lies without bothering to know the truth. Don't get me wrong, there are some girls who are actually sluts but its not fair to treat the good girls like that and place them in the same category.

Come on, !!!! I just liked them,  besides I posted it as an experiment,

@ Davidylan. I'm 18 !!!!!! NOT 15. I'm a late bloomer anyway. . .  most of my mates were dating by 13.

ebila:
And loss of virginity is what?Waywardness?Slutty?Trashy?Listen y'all,no one is saying it ain't good to keep oneself till marriage,but d essence of dis post is to make girls realise dat it is not all that.The fact dat u r a virgin doesn't mean u'll get married to a man dat'll not cheat.The fact dat u get married a virgin does not mean d girl dat got married without her virginity won't get a husband or will get a bad husband.

@NL ladies,
Rather than focus on being a virgin till marriage alone,i'd strongly advice y'all to concentrate also on other aspects of your life,like your personality.And don't ever get it wrong,virginity ain't dignity,it is simply self control.Dignity actually comes with your personality.

This made my day. Thank you for saying that. Maybe some people will finally begin to see sense. Nobody is criticizing virgins, but the fact is that while virginity is EXTREMELY good, CHARACTER matters a lot more.

ndcide:
lost virginity shows bad character in the first place.

Not necessarily. This comment showed a very shallow understanding of the matter. So if ur statement is true, what happens to girls who were raped? Or those who were simply ignorant and immature? Or those who made an honest but stupid mistake? It doesnt mean that their character is bad.

, That's messed up.

The thing about being abused is that it gets into the mind. You find yourself thinking, "Well, I probably deserved it" , and it usually happens to women with low self- esteem. Those are the women who become victims while the victimizers are the men, and guess what? They also have low self- esteem. So it's a vicious cycle that never ends.
It reminds me of a classmate of mine, she is a girl whom most boys would die for. She's smart, pretty, a fantastic figure, but she's currently going out with a guy who not only beats her, but cheats on her as well. He beat her to the extent that he once had to take her to the local NHS here in the UK. They are'nt even engaged or married, just boy / girl friend.

A rather off- point example is when my classmates would complain of their seniors bullying them, but since they were too weak to deal with the seniors, they would vow to take it out on the innocent juniors who were to come. A classic example of the saying " The fathers have eaten sour grapes and now the children's teeth are on edge" .

A solution to the problem would be found if , and only if women stopped taking so much trash from guys. When he hits you, forget about what your family and friends will say, and RUN!!!! ( If you can hit him back, plesase do so) They are not wearing the shoes so they don't know where it pinches.

@ Topic;
Men lie more. Imagine going out with a guy and he tells his friends that you had slept with him when you hadnt.
If it hadnt happened to me, I would have said girls lie more. Men lie because they want to be accepted and to gain the approval of their friends. When discussing this with another male friend, he said that he had done the same thing as well. At that point I started wondering what type of people I hung out with. Needless to say, I changed my circle of friends afterwards.

deco2come:
How would you feel when you go to bed with your penis still standing like a walk stick used by forefathers while beside you lies a girl that can calm down the tension?


From the moment I met her to this very day, she is still the princess I am proud of. The only problem now is unsatisfied sex. Anytime I made love to her, she will give up after the first round. She always complain that she is already satisfy and can't go for the second round. Sometimes I feel so angry because the tension is still burning in me.

On one condition she said that she can't continue, my desire was so strong that I had to hold her down and take her from behind. At the end, I felt sorry for my acts. I apologize to her but she said that I don't have to apologize but to blame her incompetence and was crying.

Now she always ask me if I love her. I am tired of that question. I have tried to let her know that there is nothing wrong but she always has some fear within her that I might go for another girl to quench my hunger. She always feel sorry anytime I lie on my stomach trying to calm down my erect penis.

Now I am fighting two cases, calming down my tension and trying to erase that fear of dumping within her.

WTF?!!!! You mean you raped her, /?/? Anally

justwise:
I think u are being selfish here, u made her feel the way she is feeling now, u have complained so much that she is feeling like a failure or incompetent in bed.
U probably having s.x with her not making love with her, u go ontop and start pounding like no 2moro without caring about how she want it and get her involved, all she does is to lay there praying that u finish soon and leave her alone.

If u stop thinking with your willy and take your time and pay attention to the senstive part of her body, she will feel more loved,she will be more than ready to return the fav by the time u want to start pounding.

Stop treating her as your s.x toy and more of an active partner.

whitelexi:
Thats a harsh assumption
You should ask if thats what he's doing and not assume and scold

Harsh but valid assumption. Justwise really nailed it on the head.

OBVIOUS:
No one talks bout the other side. Why do men continue to stay with women who cheat on them ?

No one talks about it because it doesnt happen. Men dont stay with women who arent faithful. Majority of Nigerian men in general are repulsed by the idea of being with a woman who cheats. That's why a man cheating on a woman is so unfair because the truth is, if it was her cheating on him, he would dump her without a second thought.

german007:
I think you can learn to love someone and also learn to "fall in love with the person".

Im saying this from personal experience.

What's the difference between loving someone and being "in love" with someone?

You forgot number 5, which is ; All these do not apply if he isn't serious about you / if he just wants to play games.

Will Smith is a clown. I would really like to believe that he's joking.

Just in case he isn't, though, all i have to say is, AT LEAST HE WAS HONEST !!!!

Granted, that is not an excuse for the kind of lifestyle he chooses to engage in, but I'm a huge sucker for outright honesty. I still cant get over the fact that he actually TOLD HER, ! So many men have affairs after getting married but none of the cowards have been able to say so out loud and instead leave it for the wife to deal with in private. Simply because they know they will be crucified.

Any ways, I will not have an , open marriage. And I know my future husband will never even suggest it because he will be a man of integrity. He will be jealous for my sake and I for his. That's what marriage should be.

saworoide:
My worst boss is somebody I will never even pray for my enemy to encounter. Ironically, his name is Mr. Bestmann (chei, I hope he's not a nairalander). He has been frustrated from his previous jobs and because he's not exactly good, his frustration continued on his new job in my organisation. He never gives anybody good grades or promotion recommendation.

When I had enough of his bullshit, I locked him up in the office on a Friday and bared my mind to him telling him how everybody he had worked with has no good thing to say about him. I told him if i did not get promoted at the end of that year, I will resign and look for another job. That seemed to touch his conscience, he recommended me for promotion that year but started his saddist behaviour thereafter.

I have been transferred outside his department but the people currently working with him are also lamenting. I guess everybody will experience something like this in their career. But the question is now that I'm also a boss, what do my subordinates think about me? And you too!!!

LMAO. . . !!!! This was too funny,  He was probably scared shitless.

Beaf:
^Add to those lovely quotations, "Strike the hammer while iron is hot".
Bobo can't start learning to toast at 50, with bald head and big bellie (that is a crime).

@madlady
How do you keep society healthy when some are refusing to freely procreate.
Even Solomon in Vicboya's bible had 1000 wives and 1000 concubines. . . And he was holy! I would loff to be holy like Solomon

@pc_guru
Enh hen! See de wicked graph wen you dey draw for de guy. Your graph means that he is in danger of hooking a woman so skilled in the "arts", that most will ascribe the resulting offspring to the full blooded exertions the gardener, rather any inexperienced futile flappings from you know who.

I no talk anytin!

LMAO, this guy is kiling me ohhh, abeg pls don't misquote the Bible, Solomon had 1000 women, 700 wives and 300 concubines. And nobody said he was holy, !!!! I will be shocked if I find him in heaven,
Hehehe, @ "Inexperienced futile flappings",