₦airaland Forum

careytommy:
sorry wetin?
this is proof that two wrongs dont make a right
btw, when i hear all these 'our girls are spoilt' stories, i'm not perturbed as i know it has to do, more or less, with upbringing

These are reasons u rather shd be, since it is not their making or a path they willing and joyous toed but some other person influence and mandate.

u see in the story right from when she was a little kid the madam  solicits her out to bring customers for her tailor shop. what does that make her-the little girl ?

^^^ no chance in hell. There is absolutely no way she is going to attend to such from him. how i wish anyway.

But if he doesn't pay for it and she ends up making the payment herself wud that not give her reasons for subordination?

And When she comes back from d holiday how wud he handle her, Since more than likely she wud come back with fire n brimstone?

I spoke to some guy who thinks he shd rather tell her his money is tied in a new business he is setting up with a friend that in as much as he wud hav loved to pay for her holiday he cudnt.

So she goes on the holiday thinking her husband wud soon hammer n possibly cud get her showing luv to her husband, then gradually the man wud then delegate some of the domestic chores over to the wife with excuses of business meeting and international business forum.

What do u think?

Sorry to bother u guys again but one question I haven't really gotten good answer on is:
should he pay for the holiday ?
the wife is really putting so much pressure on the guy and some of that pressure is getting to me in the way of persistent calls from the man.

I couldn't  answer him outright becos I know he is broke. He is planing on selling his laptop n ps3 to fund part of the 800 pounds holiday, then probably get the rest from his work bonus that wud b paid at the end of the month. Or source it from pawn shops.

He thinks If he doesn't pay for the holiday, it wud look so strange because he has never refused her anything, And un-manly. he is also scared of what her reaction cud be. 

IMO, i think this is  a good opportunity to let her know he is bankrupt, what do u think ?  But the problem is, if she mks a move for divorce thereafter my man wud be messed.

The house is in their names though he has being the person making the mortage payments ,he singularly can't sell it.

And if it gets to divorce she wud get the house plus the man wud still b expected to pay child support for the 3 kids of which cud rake upto 60 % of his salary.
She cud easily claim benefits from the government.

She knows these , I bet that what gives her so much confidence in taunting him.

Fredick Forsyth once asked: "why is it that around the world chinese, Indians/pakistanis and Lebanese dominates every country's SMB - small n medium scale business except in Nigeria, Nigeria being the 2 biggest Market in sub-sahara Africa with lots of potentials to best the number one ?"

Ans: IGBOs

chines4:
The guy is not in control of his life not to talk of his family. Let him take control of his life first

Chines4, pls how could he go about it- taking control of his life ? That's why he is on this forum.

SA lady, Mehn it won't be an easy full-time job being your partner ooh. Sorry, but Mehn the way u see issues seems to b so Femdom- chauvinistic, if not sadistic .

Can I ask u a question, do u think men shd be made to suffer, impact excruciating pain on them whenever he merely annoys his woman?

Do u also think men shd absolutely respect their wives to the point of slavery ?

^^^ sincerely, an average Igbo man is not tribalist. I can't imagine an Igbo man preferring to sell to his brother when a non-Igbo is available. Why?

Igbos has got this mentality that Yorubas n Hausa are more laid back in pursue of money, now who wudnt want his Market neighbours to be laid-back folks? People who wudnt open their shop till 9.00 am, close at 4 pm.
Why wud he want an Igbo that wud compete with him?

U see it doesn't mk sense.

The only reason more Igbos could hav gotten more the shops wud hv been that they were willing to pay far more for the shop.

ak47mann:
nawaoo

Sorry man but the exclamation is it a reflection of Ur nocturnal activities in that vicinity? As in , u dey stroll reach those area at times?
If yes, abeg go do test ooh

Ekt-bear u re damn smart, Luv the way u reason man. Agbaba u are spot-on as well.

olas2u:
How much does imo have as internally generated revenue?dont ask for too much,its a civil service state, Dont expect any magic,he cannot use his money

civil servant state with the highest number of high end hotels and resorts after abuja and lagos ?

forget that talk of poverty, imo is in NDDC with royalties from crude sale. wetin enugu get yet the governor is making giant strides.

Rhino.5dm:
Jungle don mature all the cowards don hide. . .It really sux to be igbo for real.

hi dude, abeg never u make a statement/sentence with coward/cowardice and Igbo in it.

zstranger:
^^^

You also failed to add that they make up 90% of lagos population and own 85% of Lagos real estates. What about their exploits in Isreal? Isnt it worth mentioning?

I heard they own 50% of the properties in Gaza and 60 % of real estates in Baghdad. Igbos are doing great things I tell ya.

stop spewing shiit igbo aren't 90% of Lagos only a mere 43% , dont own 85% of any property but a marginal 45% of real estate ( excluding native/ indigenous traditional housing) , Israel ? Gaza ? and Baghdad ? i dont know that one but one might believe that there wud b a sizable indigenous igbo in Israel- those that didnt migrate to Africa.

^^^ who doesn't ?

i pray she doesnt go on avenge mission, re-distributing to innocent folks.

lol, fantasize about genny ? when kobojunkie is there

jokes aside, things are still happening in that country. feel so sorry for these victims, man.

Thirty-five-year old Patience (not her real name) was a trader at Uselu Market, Benin City, Edo State, before it caught fire last December. With a huge debt of almost N1 million, she ran away to Ilorin, the Kwara State capital, in an attempt to escape from her creditor ‑ only to end up in Honeymoon Hotel, where she makes between N2,000 and N5000 daily from commercial sex.

Sitting dejectedly, she was weeping profusely over a recent diagnosis of HIV/AIDS at the Ilorin Civil Servants Clinic. Patience agreed to talk to NEXT only after much persuasion. She described her life as a programme outside God’s purpose.

“Wetin come be my own? Plenty people wey I meet never get dat kind thing. I just dey here some time come get AIDS,” she said in pidgin English.

Patience’s friend, whom she identified as a Camerounian, had told her that the place (Ilorin) was the best for the business, as few people would ever suspect what was going on.

Just like the young woman from Benin, many other girls have left their homes to sojourn in Ilorin and ride the night for fun. Some of them are university students who have dropped out and are afraid to reveal their plight to their parents, thereby ending up in the trade due to peer influence.

The hots pots

Ariya and Alaafia Hotels on Coca-Cola Road are amongst so many other rendezvous in the state capital, where the rich and influential troop to pick them up, and then to some of the biggest and well patronised hotels. According to Patience, the girls in the business have associations and always contribute money to bribe the police and government officials, so that they would not be disturbed. Their rates start from N3000, depending on the look of the customer or time of the night.


Mide Yusuf and Matar Peter who had allegedly absconded from their Lagos parents on the pretext that they were students of Kwara State Polytechnic told NEXT that they each made an average of N30,000 monthly, a greater portion of which goes into beautification as well as wardrobe and accessories.

On her first night encounter with NEXT, Ms Yusuf said, “If you can pay four thousand (naira), I will manage it, and you will first buy me Indomie before we go.” When she was assured of a bottle of drink with the noodles if she would be willing to just discuss her life, Ms Yusuf, who also solicits for customers on Facebook, said “I don’t know why you want to know all these things, but, first I want you to know that I am just a visitor here. I don’t always come here. I am here today because I will have to pay my caretaker tomorrow. Though I am an indigene of Ilorin, but I grew up in Iyana-Ipaja, Lagos. My mum is no more with my dad and she already has four children for another man.

“My brother, a soldier at the barracks, brought me and my elder brother here. But my brother left for Lagos when he finished learning tailoring. Just some months ago, our elder brother was taken to Maiduguri and I am just here and need to survive. At least I am not a virgin, so life goes on,” she said.

At her rented apartment at Tanke area of Ilorin, Ms Yusuf introduced her friend, Ms Peter, who had also took off from her home in Lagos. Warning her friend to desist from “speaking to strangers” about her life, Ms Peter, however, reluctantly volunteered, also in pidgin English, “Me I go go back to Lagos now. I just dey here to make small money to get house.”

No more cheating

According to Ms Peter, her mother spent most her time in Coutonu, Benin Republic, and left her behind to learn the trade of selling cloths while living with her trainer, whom she said had already turned her and the other girls into instruments of making money from men, working as sex slaves.


“If you are in my shoes, you no go run? I just think say, instead of sleeping with men to bring business for my oga, then let me do it to make money [/b]for myself and later go and start my own business. [b]Imagine, the day I leave Lagos, she sent us to Cotonou to bring cloths and whenever we go, instead of giving us money to clear at the border, she go expect say make we do anyhow with Customs, you know now. So, I just took the money for bus wey she give us and run come here,” said Ms Peter.


On the Tuesday following the national assembly election, a Toyota bus belonging to Kwara State University was sighted at a night bar that operates within the premises of the state ministry of tourism. The old man driving the bus had come to pick about 20 girls, who filled the bus, chattering about what they had already made on short-time sex services.


“It is either the man brought them from school and has come back for them or he is engaged in the usual arrangement of girls for government visitors,” said a suya (barbecue) seller in the vicinity.


The Government Reservation Area (GRA) section of the city where the girls hang out for business has been nicknamed Contractor. Now highly popular, the tag is from the buzz of the motorcycle riders and hotel attendants who always come around to “arrange” girls for business. Also in the area are to be found many guest houses, hotels and inns where “short time service” could be rendered at a rate ranging from N1000 to N2000.

Speaking to NEXT, Tom Akpor, a taxi driver plying the Contractor route, said: “Most of the girls are just students, though some of them are not in school. If you maintain that it is student that you want, I know them very well,” he said.


Challenging Mr Akpor on how he would feel if he found his sister among the night queens, he retorted: “I know wetin she dey do where she dey?” The father of two who revealed that his wife did not know that he was there, said that he was only helping the girls and not doing anything wrong.


However, unlike most of her colleagues, Patience’s few months into the business got her into trouble, as she now has to battle a much-dreaded health condition - HIV/AIDS. According to her, she had met men who took her to an hotel, induced and gang-violated her, only for her to be woken up in the middle of the day by the hotel staff.

http://234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5698348-146/story.csp

hahahahaha lol, bluetooth u be real mumu. see ur head. u highlighted the eastern peddlers but left out [size=16pt]ogun state [/size]one, how unbiased.

i bet he didnt mean to. what a shame.    btw why is it always on sundays that tribalists flood nairaland ?

It was surprise galore on Thursday at the Ogun State Police Command Headquarters, Eleweran, Abeokuta, when a 15-year-old boy, ******(not disclosing his name he is a minor) confessed that he cut off the head of the immediate younger brother of his father, Odunewu Ojo and sold it for N8,000.

The suspect confessed that he was forced to commit the crime due to financial constraints. “It was a week to the just concluded Ileya festival [/b]and I needed money to [b]buy clothes and to entertain my friends. So when my friend brought the ‘business’, I quickly accepted it to raise money for the festival.”

Abeg is that how much human head cost nowadays? #8000. a bag of rice!

how on earth do u upload a video on this site

She did not have the so-called ‘normal’ childhood. Her teenage life was truncated. She became pregnant at 17. Much was not expected from the little girl who did not follow the ‘golden rule’ of right upbringing (from secondary school, university and to career), however, against all odds, Genevieve Nnaji has broken, recreated and became the rule for many and is now a success story.


On May 3, 2011, the Nollywood star clocked 32. She marked her birthday in far away London, full of smiles and in company of hip pop star D’Banj, friends and fans. Yes, Genny has many reasons to smile. Out of the lot that passed through Nollywood she has risen to become one of the very few iconic movie figures in Africa. Cable News Network (CNN) even dubbed her Julia Roberts of Africa.


In an interview she granted Treasure Magazine, Genevieve shared the story of her life. The Mbaise, Imo State-born actress didn’t grow up in the East. She is what you call the typical Lagos girl. Speaking on her childhood, she said: “I grew up in Lagos basically; my family is here in Lagos. I went to Methodist Girls High School, Yaba, Lagos. My mum is a teacher and my dad is a retired banker. Okay, I’m from a family of 10, eight kids, mummy and daddy. I left school in 97, went to UNILAG to do Creative Arts (part time); it was difficult keeping up because of doing movies, so I decided to drop and continue with the movie until I’m ready.”


That is not all, she grew up with strong Catholic background, a church she claimed impacted conscience into her, and it was that conscience the made her take a stand against abortion when she became pregnant as a teenager. Speaking on her child and pregnancy, she said: “Yes, I have a child. I was pretty young though. What happened? What I learnt was that no matter how much I try to control myself and be preserved and everything, sh*t still happens to me. So, I think what is meant to be will be.

You can only try to avoid it or prolong it, but it will be. The truth is, if it hadn’t happened I won’t be here now, because it had a way of shifting my life. So, it is like falling to one side and trying to make the best out of it. I probably would not be here. It happened and the best I did was not to dwell on it. It affected me in a way, but I didn’t dwell on it. I just felt it was not about the downfall, but how to pick up yourself that makes you a strong person, and not everybody would understand. And there is this thing I keep telling myself; life is once. So, life starts and ends with you. You live once, try to make the best of it. Don’t let people discourage you, people are going to talk, they are going to judge, but truth is, people who talk the most are those who do the worse. If you are not important, people won’t talk about you. Be yourself, be happy.”


The pregnancy was seven months gone before Genny’s Catholic mum discovered it. Genny said, “She couldn’t believe it, ‘how can she be pregnant when she was very careful’.” A test confirmed it, her parents were disappointed but stood their ground against abortion. “I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t even know till I was about four months. It was there, but I was still in shock. I didn’t believe it. The only time I actually believed it was when I saw it in a scan. Seven months! And I saw it’s in there and I said, “Okay, it’s true!” I was like, “Oh, it’s like some disease, ” I think I was pretty much hard on myself then than my parents or people. I was harder on myself, really. My parents reacted the way any parent would react – disappointed. I didn’t know. My mother discovered it for me. I didn’t know anything really. She discovered it for me and it was too late, we couldn’t do anything and we’re Catholics and I’m glad I didn’t do anything funny really.”

Speaking further, she said: “Getting rid of the pregnancy was an alternative then, but it was too late, because not until I was four months before we discovered it and so it was not what we could do, and my dad was like, ‘it’s a child for Christ’s sake. God knows why he wants to bring that child into life”. We are Catholics and it’s just that conscience, you do wrong once and doing another would not make the first right. So, you either correct your mistake by doing the right thing. If I was pregnant, and then have an abortion, it would have been like murder after fornication! So, that was basically wrong.


“I’m sure everywoman knows the feeling of pregnancy, but for the young girl – it is difficult for me to say now, because I have grown much older – but I know at that time it was, let me see, Anyway, I’d just wake up every morning hoping to wake up from a dream, but you know it doesn’t happen so. It’s more like giving me hope that ‘no, it wasn’t, ’ I was like looking forward to sleeping and waking up, then it wasn’t getting any better anyway.”

Were her parents at fault? No, Genny took responsibility, “Mine had nothing to do with it, it was a different case entirely, which I wouldn’t want to go into. My parents did their jobs and I did my own job of listening and everything. My parents were fantastic. I got the best of home training. It’s none of my parents’ fault. I was close to mum and Dad and they told me everything I needed to know, okay. But what happened had to happen, somehow. So, I didn’t think it had to do with my parents, although some people could suffer from not getting enough education from their parents, but I think my mum did her part as a mother. Yes, she did.”


On the lesson life taught her, she said: “Like I said before, I have learnt that life is the way you live it. It is not about theory, no lecturer can tell you what life is. Life is what you make of it. Life is what you want it to be, basically. For somebody like me, if I say I want this now and I work towards it, nothing is going to keep me away from that, I’m going to get it. Even if it means me drawing up my account, I want that, and I’m happy. I always think of today and not tomorrow. It is not like, ‘Oh, my children in the future, ’ whatever I do right now, I believe I’ll dig into it. Yes, I will try to be considerate later, but life is too short, you go now and whatever you’ve achieved other people will enjoy it.


“I think it is doing what you love doing, that’s what life is basically all about. Be happy; whatever you do let it be worth doing well. Don’t do things because other people expect you to do it. Please yourself, but don’t be selfish about it. You know it’s not like when you enjoy killing; that’s not what I mean. Whatever your direction, if your father wants you to be a doctor and you want to be a musician, follow your dreams! At the end of the day, if you have a gift for it, (go for it).”


All in all, Genny has come of age and done well for herself. She is a role model, not just to teeming aspiring actresses but to those who had a truncated/pause in the journey of their dreams, but are trying to pick up the pieces. And as icing on the cake, the beautiful actress is on the verge of inking a document that would see her pair with a Hollywood star in a multi-million naira movie. Happy birthday to Africa’s queen of the tube!


http://www.sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/showpiece/2011/may/08/showpiece-08-05-2011-001.htm

sexibabes:
Get another younger babe on the side man cuz no man is worth dying for

are u male or female?

so he shd get another younger babe, right? why wud a younger babe accept to go with him when he is broke , no longer considered young, and still in a marriage?

@ sexy ifyalways, person dey fear divorce for Naija? They re in England.
The MIL, does she hv to live with them to get involved? Phone no dey again? She doesn't anyway, just comes visiting.

And what can his mother, aunty do? Once d noise too much I believe the wife wudnt hesitate to divorce his arse. Then he wud fall back to square one and start all over again. At 49!, bad credit, debt. That's d only biggy in this issue. But sincerely if I was him . . . Mehn. . .I don't know Infact.  It's dicey.

I also think another problem is that the man Is too churchous , If he cud starts thinking more of what he can do for himself and not leaving everything to God, then at least he cud get his fingers off his arse and start demanding attention, n care.

On the finances :
He thinks if he tells the wife the state of his account she wud disrespect him the more n even might break up with him knowing he has nothing- he is scare of the divorce because more than likely she wud get their house n that wud leave him wit nothing. He also has bad credit rating which wud mk it difficult for him to get even a rent, phone or anything.

Sex
She has made him lose so much confidence in himsef that he wud find it difficult going clubbing. And he finds it irritating voicing such propaganda.
I told him to masturbate before her so she knows wat she is doing to u. He simply said he can't do it.

Checking her phone:
He said he prefers to think that she is making out with other men that confirming it cos he doesn't think he can take it.

Holiday:
He doesn't want her to know he doesn't have money n can't afford the holiday. But he also cant afford to be anything part of the holiday cos it will b that he is paying for her to go sleep with other men. It breaks his heart even thinking about it.

What next can one say?

On the become more assertive:
She wud complain that he is becoming controlling. Her friends wud start making noise that he is acting like a cave man and very African.
Early in their marriage she complain a lot about the controlling issue, he promised not be like that again so he shdnt want to stir any bee hive and possibly bring a crash of their flimsily hanging marriage.

On the culinary activities:
The man told me a very annoying tale, he said it never so to b that way ooh, that suddenly he noticed his wife's used lunch plate left unwashed in the sink when he comes home at night. He cools washes it while probably hosting with d wife who might b preparing dinner. Then she graduated into expecting him to wash up their both supper dishes. After sometime she stopped washing the pots herself. Currently when he comes back from home he finds the last night used pots, the dishes, her breakfast dishes, lunch plates and garri turner, and her supper plate - that's the day she managed to cook supper.

He said it has now become his duty such that she even now wakes him up from sleep- when he doses off after his supper, and reminds him not to forget to wash the dishes before he hoes to bed ooh!.

He said he hates it, he finds it very belittling when he try's not to do the dishes she wud complain and complain that he is not helping AT ALL at home, that he shdnt forget she is taking care of the kids. The next minute the MIL is on the phone cajoling him to assist his wife nah, does he not know it tiring looking after kids. ( what kind of tiredness cud that b abeg?)

Hello people, I thank u immensely for the time u all have taken to drop a comment on this issue.
I acted on ur advise(s) and explained to the man that if he wants his wife back he wud need to change. Change his way. I explained to him these points as u advised.

1) He wud need to start being more manly. Being more assertive with the wife. Mking a point and sticking to it.

2) he needs to cut down on the plate washing and culinary activities. If he comes home and there is no food he shd either walk out, go buy kebab or fish n chip, walk back to his home and theatrically munch it while shaking his head and murmuring. Or soak garri n drink it before her.

(3) he has to sort his finances out. Shd involve the wife , let her know the state of things n get her to pay some of the bills n debt even.


(4) on the sex issue, I advised him to start going clubbing n parties to get the wife n bit jealous, when he comes back from such he shd coyly hint of young 25s hitting on him, White girls asking him if he is really as big as they say. Even he shd tell her that a few of them invite him home but he proudly showed his ring to them. And talked abt how beautiful n sexy his wife is.


(5)more on the sex, as someone advised, when ever they re to engage in sex, he shd stop going down on her, he shd ensure he is in top, when he cums he shd simply get up, walk into d bathroom, wash himsef then go to the sitting room and put on the news. While she is forlorn in the bedroom. (women hate it when men do that, but wud generate more passion from her.)

(6)start checking her phone and tracking her to confirm his fears - if she is cheating. So he can make more concrete plans without sympathy and empathy.

(7) on the holiday issue, mk her not go if he can if not don't spend a kobo on it.

Gave him some other trivial advise, but Mehn wait till u hear my man response.

@onlythruth, we grew up hear and knowing rochas as a good man now I his time to prove himself.

Igbos don't need just a goodman but a genuinely accomplished person with verifiable record, we rather be without a leader till one with such attribute come in view.

No doubt rochas has a good generous heart but administrating successfully hewud hav to surround himsef with sound technocrats.

With the overwhelming goodwill he has and wud b enjoying I pray he put that to good use and advocate sound industrial and economic, educational policies that wud uplift that state.

[size=18pt]Pls forget the idea of free education for all-ESP to University level,  it simply can't just be free. The state wud go bankrupt with the vast majority of IMO people with educational inclination. May YES to the less privillieged ones. [/size]