Here are some:
1. Wrong: sometimes ago
Right: sometime ago
2. Wrong: send forth (party)
Right: send off. Eg: I attended a colleague's send off dinner.
3. Nigerians usually say "bogus" when they mean "very big". Bogus actually means fake, counterfeit.
4. Wrong: majorly
Right: mainly
5. Wrong: "he's late" (dead)
Right: he's deceased.
6. Wrong: I want to "baf"
Right: I want to bathe (not bath)
7. Wrong: my body is scratching me
Right: my body itches.
8. Wrong: this is there house
Right: this is their house
9. Wrong: don't go their
Right: don't go there
10. Wrong: checking point
Right: checkpoint
11. Wrong: it has been banded (prohibited)
Right: it has been banned.
12. Wrong: I will bycott him
Right: I will boycott him
13. Wrong: I borrowed him some money
Right: I lent him some money
Note: The giver lends, the receiver borrows
14. Wrong: the tenor is 2 years (this is common among Nigerian banks)
Right: the tenure is 2 years
15. Wrong: our God is an omniscience God
Right: our God is an omniscient God

The power transformation train is on the move, knocking off all the transformers along the way!

Dr. Wise:
Who is Salomon Kalou? A comedian?

I wonder. Maybe na danfo driver.

oluwadare26: Nigeria never win...match still on...check time

Which time zone you dey?

Today no be Sunday for notin!

dat offside for be sweeeet goal!

corner don too much 4 dis game. score abeg. We don miss goal o!

hollandis: match don start

Na lie. You dey hallucinate.
Go wash ya face!

chinawapz: Get $10 in2 ur bank account by reading emails sent 2 u by visiting http://10kperday.tk

And how much I go pay you upfront before registration, idiot maga wanabe?!

IYA NGBALI: why abuja?why not my home town zamfara?

Now I know you are lying because Zamfara is not a hometown or even a town.

Impressive game by the Super Eagles. Most importantly, impressive result. More of that spanking on Sunday.

Bwoodlt:

I'm a living witness!

Recently, during Church service, I noticed this girl starring at me, it was so intense I almost felt embarrased. The following Sunday, the same girl, the same attitude! Long story short, after Service, I walked up to her with this lines.. "hi, I'll love share something with you, apparently we havent got the time now as I know you want to join your friends, could u gimme ur no and I'll holla this evening if thats ok" She gave her number.., I didn't call that week so I wouldn't sound desperate. The following Sunday, she was like ' thought you were going to call'... had to come up with an excuse. Well, that evening I called and invited her to my house.. the rest as they say is history!

So you're f..kin her like a rabbit now huh?
What guys will do for a piece of a.s.s Phew!

But moslems celebrated 2 days of Sallah peacefully. Why didn't they start the bombing right from Sallah day? Bombs should also start going off in mosques on Fridays and Sallah days. Then you can tell me that Boko Haram's campaign of terror is political and I will listen.

ICEMAN: This a good time for both of the religious groups in Nigeria to thank GOD for the dear governor's life and sincerely pray for his recovery. We are all Nigerians. Please be your brother's keeper.

No we're not all Nigerians, not with the level of injustice in the country. How come the only time we're reminded to be our brother's keeper is when our irresponsible leaders get into trouble while enjoying lavish lifestyles? We were asked to "pray" for the first lady's "recovery" from an ailment she didn't even have the courtesy to admit she was suffering from. Yar'adua was dying yet his family and aides didn't think Nigerians deserved to learn the truth about his health.
The hell with all of'em! If German hospitals can save them let them continue going. They don't deserve the prayers of the Nigerians they have been abusing and taking for granted.

Damibanti: A friend of mine did 222km/hr on 3rd mainland last month.V8 Mecedez Benz E-class 2004 model.Thinking of getting a German car soon.It felt so good.

Your photo may reflect that you truly travelled at that speed but how do we know you didn't just jack up the wheels, engage the gear and throttle up to that speed? It would require some concentration from someone other than the driver to focus a camera and take that picture - circumstances you can hardly manage @ 222km/hr. Anyway you did say your friend was driving, which suggests you took the picture, which begs the question: why were you without a seatbelt at 222km/hr? Or any speed for that matter?
All in all it's still do-able sha.

Ibotex: Imagine driving in a governors convoy with a landcruiser prado jeep. 220 and above.

Those convoys(govt functionaries, bullion vans) rarely drive what you would call fast. They just swerve and weave dangerously and recklessly @ 120km/hr. That ain't fast, just plain reckless and suicidal.

Highest I've done is 210km/hr, 2007 Honda Accord on Kano-Kaduna expressway though I regularly do 180-190km/hr on the same road; that road is smooth, uncongested and dualized - very good for "high" speeds, if your car can handle it.
Having said that I think it is pertinent to point out that you should understand the car you are driving before attempting any speed in it. Know what the car can or can't do; some cars can't handle a bend unless you slow down while others even accelerate around bends at considerably high speeds. Most importantly, KNOW the road you are speeding on. It's not so much speed as control. Factors like inferior car balance, obstacles, uneven roads, single lane roads all reduce the amount of control you can exercise at higher speeds. I love driving fast and by fast here I mean - faster than most people I've seen, but I quickly become the slowest guy on the road when I encounter potholes and bumps - safety first.
Driving at 90 km/hr on the highway doesn't make you a safety-conscious driver; if you have a head-on collision at that speed you are not likely to survive it. If you hit a crossing goat at that speed the goat will die, apart from the damage to your car, but if you pay proper attention on the road you might be able to see the goat soon enough and swerve and/or brake to avoid disaster, regardless of your speed. A lot of people I see on the road are simply absent-minded and careless. They drive without wearing seatbelts, enter the road without checking if there's a car coming from behind, drive smack in the middle of the road (because they don't use rearview or sideview mirrors) and they think they are driving safely simply because they are "crawling" on the road.
Tell me: how many okada accidents are due to overspeeding? Have you ever wondered why a Formula 1 racecar, driving at speeds of up to 350km/hr can maintain balance without crashing most times? Even when it does crash the driver rarely suffers more than a few scratches. The simple reason is that the factors of safety have been greatly enhanced in a Formula 1 race. The car, the road the driver all operate within a system of improved safety and control. Bearing that in mind I don't see anything wrong in travelling 200km/hr on a smooth, straight, long and unobstructed stretch of highway - IF your engine can deliver and sustain such power.
Lastly, always remember to wear your seatbelt no matter how fast or slow you drive; always pay attention on the road.

Where are the pictures you promised in your caption?

Who the f--k is these people please? Is the Jumbo gal or Ronaldo dude supposed to be famous? Cuz I don't know 'em.
Anyway, I heard that Latinos got crooked d.i.c.k.s. Just wonderin' if it's true......

Next stop - Otuoke.

kokoA: When I was in the university a lecturer once walked me out of his office and warned me never to step a foot there again. What was my offence? I addressed him as 'Mr' .. But I never knew he had compeleted his doctorate degree then. For naija title na serious mata o.

Had the same experience.

irongate jnr: if i were to be d secret service, i wl start wit u d poster. This thread is obviously part of the big plan of d bh thing. Wht do u stand to achieve, turn nigerian minds against GEJ? U r jst pathetic

That's probably why you'll never be the secret freakin' service

How about this one:
"We will contain Boko Haram by June"

Remember these?:
- Moonlighting (Bruce Willis & Cybill Shepherd)
- Sesame Street (cookie monster, mr count, big bird, e.t.c.)
- Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em
- CHPs
- Cock Crow @ Dawn
- Bassey & Coy.
- I.W.A wrestling (mighty igor, mill mascaras, the mongols, little boy blue, e.t.c.)
- The Jeffersons
- Different Strokes
- Sanford & Son

and others.

I did it, now we're married with twins. So don't tell me it's wrong.

Yeah whatever. Go fk yourself, schoolchild or not.

Great that Chestnut is coming. However, what is his contribution towards developing Nollywood and the clowns we have as actors? Or is he just coming as a guest to enjoy himself? Whichever way, goodluck to him.

Yeah, Adewale was [i]phenomenal [/i]in OZ.
Chiwetel is also another very talented dude.
In which century or millenium will Nollywood start producing actors like them and movies like the ones they act?

No be today.
Perhaps you should separate from him and move on with your life.

If the power supply nationwide worsens it will have no effect in Kano because by default, Kano is and has always been enveloped in darkness. It is quite "normal" in Kano to be without light for several days at a time. Seeing NEPA light in Kano is rather the rare exception than the rule.
Be it known that the second most populous state in Nigeria has been suffering near-zero power supply for years.