₦airaland Forum

The day I broke my grandmother's water pot(Ikoko), I do "peem", she gimme " Veem"

Our "insensitive" government should focus on people like this so that the Bscs' and Mscs' becomes less essential and we shall all rediscover our God-given talents

guyXander:
Apology accepted but.. But genius, what are doing in the forum of common men? Trying to belong?

Funny man, cut the crap jur.....we are together. #1love

dsauce:
its actually d green snakes dat are nt killed in enugu. Note i served in d above mentioned LG, Awgu, so am sure of what am saying

You served there but I worked there......I think I know more than you do or maybe tradition has changed

guyXander:
no vex oh. But does 'between, let's migrate to FP' make sense to you.
Wish kind English you dey speak bikonu?!

You're murdering English already. Not all comments are meant to be understood by a "common man"

900warriorz:
Mr. 'Between', you funny oo! If you see 'btw' for people comment, for your mind, na between them mean? Lol...




BTW means ''by the way''. Thank me later!

that's the work of autocorrect, I knew what I'm trying to type and you understand...

From you we come, to you is our return... If hypocrisy is not involved, I trust the NYPD

How I wish I was born in the 60s'....

Same thing in awgu LGA in Enugu.
You dare not kill 'em big black shining snakes......
Btw, let's migrate to FP...............

We messing with...#$ame girl....#$ame girl..

Oh my goodness!!!!
I've never seen a grown up Siamese twins........
They look "eh yah"........
I'm even glad they are happy and unbothered

Which kain marriage be this?
Husband nko?.....
Oga ooooo

FP ni straighttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

IBADAN......
Ibadan Series: Hills, Bottoms, Masquerades & Research by Bayo Adeyinka

More than 15 years ago, I met an Italian who had lodged at KS Motel at Total Gardens, Ibadan. He was in Ibadan for the first time and he was very fascinated with the city when I informed him that Rome and Ibadan shared a very unique similarity: both of them are built on seven hills. He asked me to take him round Ibadan which I did. The seven hills are Oke Padre, Oke Ado, Oke Bola, Oke Mapo, Oke Are, Oke Sapati and Oke Mokola. But Ibadan is not just a city of hills. It is also a city of 'bottoms'. Loosely translated, 'idi' means bottom or the backside. Several people have attached sexual innuendoes to the names. However, the actual translation indicates that some of the 'idis' indicate how the settlers converged at a point thereby leading to how they arrived at the names given. Go round the city and you can locate Idi-Arere, Idi-Ose, Idi-Ishin, Idi-Ape, Idi-Ayunre, Idi-Obi and Idi-Ito.

For instance, Idi-Arere is a location where the early settlers converged and held meetings under an 'Arere' tree. The actual full name is Idi- Igi Arere (under the Arere (obeche) tree). Idi- Arere is located between Oja-Oba and Molete. Idi-Ose, which should actually be Idi-Igi Ose (under the Ose (baobab) tree), is located around Ojoo/Moniya Road. Idi-Ishin is located around Jericho GRA area and was named after the Ishin (ake apple) tree. Idi-Ape is located at the intersection of Iwo Road and Bashorun and was named after the Ape tree. Idi-Ayunre which is located at the outskirts of the city on the way to Ijebu-Ode was named after the Ayunre ( albizia Zygia) tree. Idi-Obi was named after the kola nut tree. Ditto for Idi-Ikan and Idi-Ito.

Ibadan is also a city with several junctions popularly called 'Orita'. In Yoruba mythology, these 'oritas' or junctions are places where sacrifices are offered. Popular oritas in Ibadan are Oritamefa- a junction that leads to six roads (around UCH), Oritamerin ( a junction that leads to four roads), Orita Aperin, Orita Challenge and Orita Bashorun. Some of the names have been shortened nowadays with Orita Bashorun now simply referred to as Bashorun, Orita Challenge now Challenge and Orita Aperin simply Aperin.

And still talking names, several names in Ibadan have their origin in the inability of the residents to pronounce the original names correctly. For example, the place popularly called Oke-Sapati was originally called Shepherd's Hill but the illiterate residents couldn't pronounce 'Shepherd's Hill' and it was corrupted to Sapati. That was how it sounded to the ears of the residents at that time. The story behind Kudeti is quite interesting. A river runs around that area and the British District Officer during the colonial era was quite shocked at how dirty the river was. The river served the residents as they washed, had their bath, defecated and drank the water. The DO therefore exclaimed, "This water is TOO DIRTY". The illiterate residents now corrupted the words 'too dirty' to Kudeti.

Ibadan is still steep in its traditional beliefs though modernity is fast catching on. One of such is the still very popular egungun masquerade festival which usually takes place around June and July. When I was younger, this period was a period fear mixed with excitement. Everyone wants to catch a glimpse of the Oloolu masquerade- except women who are forbidden to see it. Oloolu is the most popular and the most feared. I've seen it once before carrying what looked like a flat tray with several items on it. Several years ago, there was a clash between a very popular Muslim cleric now late called Ajagbemokeferi and Oloolu. It was rumoured then that Ajagbemokeferi derobed and unveiled Oloolu.Then, there is Alapansapa. Alapansapa is the second most feared masquerade after Oloolu. Alapansapa dresses very smartly in bright colours. Even though most masquerades are associated with canes and whips, it is more so with Alapansapa. There is also Atipako and Abidielege.

In spite of the traditional background of the city and the practices/ beliefs of its residents, Ibadan has been rightly acknowledged as the intellectual capital of the Yorubas and this is not just because the first University in Nigeria is located in the city. I really don't know how many cities in Nigeria have as many research institutes as Ibadan. Ibadan has IITA (International Institute of Tropical Agriculture), IAR&T (Institute of Agricultural Research and Training), FRIN (Forestry Research Institute of Nigeria), CRIN (Cocoa Research Institute of Nigeria), NIHORT (National Horticultural Research Institute) and NISER (Nigerian Institute of Social and Economic Research). All in one single city! I don't know how the State Government leverages on these research institutes for the benefit of its citizens.

1) When you say, "Mummy, I'm Sorry!" And she replies, "Sorry for yourself!" . 2) When you ask her where you should drop something and she says, ?Drop it on my head." . 3) When she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a party. . 4) When you say, ''Mummy, I have fever.? And she replies you, ?Why won't you have fever when you press phone every night? . . 5) When you say, ?Mummy I took 2nd in my class.? and she replies, ?So the person that took first has two heads abi?? . . 6) When she takes the DSTV remote to work, just to punish you. . 7) When you are watching television with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn't want you to change the channel. . . When you tell her you are going to a friend's place to play and she asks, ''When last did that friend come here to play with you? . . 9) When she asks you if the food she served you is enough, and you reply no, and she says, come and eat my own with yours. . 10) When she tells you, if I hear Peem, you will hear Ween. . 11) When she touches hot pot comfortably without a cloth or paper. . 12) When she tells you, ''I didn't kill my mother, so you will not kill me''. . 13) When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse. . 14) When you ask her to refund the money she borrowed u and she tells you, "All the food you have been eating in the house nko? Which money did you think was used in buying them?'' Our Mothers are wonderful.

Sept20:
Edo/Lagos

Oops!!!..that's off da hook

That guy in the second pix, his head resemble that of mine and Banky W

They are coming for James head......

What am I saying gan self?? As if she truly stab herself

I hate thieves

After all, they said padding is not an offense

Worse than book haram

Emyogalanya:
And they are yet to condemn boko haram threat to kill Christians and bomb churches. Now this. Ok

idiot

Who appeared more responsible nd womanly between the covered and the naked team??

Oh ye Nairalanders.....funny set of people.... they will never accept defeat but rather claim to know more and better...
#irrelevant number
#simple logic
#unnecessary calculation
#stale stuff
#simple algebra
....
I hear ooo

Location first........me dey for ogbomosho

If that your brother is a wizard, he might probably have seen what we all could not rather see, therefore, listen to him.
Any other fucking thing apart from that is sh*t.....Marry your Darling Angel and live happy ever after.

Solve this maths. This is incredible and Unbelievable!! Game of the day!!! It is real. Check it out.

1. Take de last digit of your phone number.
2. Multiply it by 2
3. Add 5 to it
4. Multiply the answer by 50
5. Add 1766
6. Subtract your year of birth
The Answer you get must be three digits. -The last two digits is your AGE!!
Check and prove me wrong!

Who developed this? Still wondering.........Am still awestruck guys ��

Some House help doesn't deserve all these...........majority of them can be wicked ehn........ you will definitely know this from day1.....I'm a living witness

lovat:
what is this on a sunday morning

what is what?

people with worse past often create the best future......... #adage