₦airaland Forum

They have done their best and am highly Impressed by what I see.

Keep it up Gunner Chicks.

@ Omogbare

You are welcomed.

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

When you think about the differences between work and prison, maybe prison isn't so bad,

IN PRISON, You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK, You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON, You get three meals a day.
AT WORK, You get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON, You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK, You get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON, A guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK, You must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON, You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK, You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON, You get your own toilet.
AT WORK, You have to share.
IN PRISON, They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK, You cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON, All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK, You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from you salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON, You spend most of your life looking through bars from inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK, You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON, There are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK, They are called supervisors.
in PRISON, You have unlimited time to read e-mail jokes.
AT WORK, You get fired if you get caught.

THE FOLOWING CONVERSATION HAPPENS BTW A SPEECH THERAPIST AND A STAMMERER.

Stammerer: "I hea, hea, heard tha, that you can hel, hel, help me".

Speech therapist: "Yes, sure. Ease yourself in the chair, look straight in my eyes, and count slowly till ten".

Stammerer: "O, one, t, two, th, th, three, , eight, nine, ten. It's wonderful, I don't stammer anymore!"

Speech therapist: "My fee is 300 dollar."

Stammerer: "H, h, how mu, mu, mu, much?!!!"

Nigeria Airways
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain (James) welcoming you on board of Nigeria Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to Lagos. Landing in Lagos is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village!
Nigeria Airways has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!
It is with great pleasure; I announce that since starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!
To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo tea and Okin biscuits! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Al Barka, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can’t find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat …and for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."
Enjoy Nigeria Airways

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,

"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

The clock is Ticking very fast on Liverpool i Pray your Coach won't have any excuse on this game.

Milan for the Title.

This is a serious case, I agree with seun a bit, she has the right to know your income but i think this girl is one leg in and one leg out cos if she sees another guy who earns than you, she would simply dump you.

So be careful.

This is a serious case.

I suggest you should advice her to stick to her husband, I mean there is no relationship that is 100%, there is always problems here and there.
First of all you said she just met this guy recently and the guy is also married and he is also paying serious attention to you. "Be careful" that guy might not be responsible enough because most men are cunning and are ready to take the slightest chance of every opportunity they see.

I suggest you should go back home, sit down and re-think ways you can settle this re-occuring dispute with your husband rather than running to another "Married" man.

Goodluck!

Gladiators
Drunken master
Kick Boxer
Blade2

LOVE is a deep Emotion which make it a disease and cannot be cured by doctor or nurse except the two hearts involved.

@ Viee

Lol that was very funny.

well, I spent mine at home with friends watching the Spanish La Liga and after that i watched alot of movies and musics.

Definition of Love: LOVE is deep Emotional which make it a disease and cannot be cured by doctor or nurse except the two hearts involved.

Ain’t fucking with you,
I swear never call you a bitch again!
I promise never 2 call you that again!!
I tried to put myself in a position of women side,
If I've done wrong somewhere, find a little space for forgiveness
Never mean’t to hurt you cause I didn’t believe is gonna result as crap,
Who can I trust if I’d burst the way I feel.
Even though you are the trap of the feeling
Try to make tears of your last love ever
Sorry if I had cause the pain the way you feel
Tell me the definition of the feeling.
I swear I’ll never call you a bitch again.

Believe me, you are just like my heart,
Bleeding, breaking down.

My last love ever.

that's nice

You said you have a new guy that is always there for you, then what is the need declining back to your past life.

He may have changed but you tell him it's too late because you have moved on and you are happier with someone else.

cheers.

trendy:
can't you read?

who the f**k are you talking to

cute-ass:
Yea, just search the net, when you come across any website that sells it, you'd be able to order

You'll just have to fill in your name, adress and then "method of payment", just like any other thing being sold on-line!!

That's all you need.

wow! that was funny

Mukina, sorry for that.

Spamming?

I don't give a f***k if they hide it or not!

During the gospel age, God is calling out individuals to become part of his church to rule and reign with Christ. These will be on the throne with Christ in heaven (Acts 15:14).

@ bobbyaf

Well let them believe watever they wish to, it's their fate.

And they argue alot about the scriptures with all forms of controversial statements.

It's a pity really.

@ Topic

They actually wear it cos it's also fitting on 'em, they actually have the gift of wearing men's clothe and it match their shape, unlike men that can't wear skirt so embarassing for us.

I would also commend you to go see your doctor let him give you drugs and also prescribe diet you would be on.

@ Mukthar

Do you have anything or have you heard anything like deep freeze? Tell your boss to install it into your system, i don't think it is because he partitioned it that gave rise to the slowness.

Just tell him to increase the memory of your systems, install deep freeze and also download the latest version of mozilla firefox and opera mail.

If possible get a Router for your cafe if he hasn't any.

Goodluck.

@ somto13

You wanna know what i think? The picture is okay.

@somto 13

I wasn't shaking my head because of you, cyclone5 read my mind.

Manutd Impressed me alot but Fergie shouldn't have removed Carrick in that game cos the man was outstanding.

But Chelsea got the trophy, thanks to Drogba.