₦airaland Forum

These "doctors" will now come abroad and say "I use to be a doctor back home now I'm a cleaner".

CFCfan:
I thought the US is d better country?

Not at all. It's overhyped. Most who have knowledge about both countries and not fall into the US hype wouldn't choose it.

NgwaManNaija4LF:
Nawa ooo,even me we dey Amerika for over half century wan come back home.

After half a century you haven't found your way back home ? You're only insulting yourself.

ferdimako:
But for the anchor kids to come off and file for their folks is gonna be a long time...so say 30yrs, Nigerians don't still see any light at the end of...

Anchor kids provide economic stability for their parents and loved ones in Nigeria. There kids can also travel the world visa free which is important. Although I was born/bred in naija I have a Canadian passport. I fit in this category. I pity anyone who only has a naija passport

swagwu:
evrn in india here we dnt knw em too

Unless it's for medical reasons respect yourself and leave India.

ZUBY77:
Gold diggers fighting over flavour' s money and fame. Not over him.
No value for themselves.

This sums up the modern day nigerian women. They are vulturs looking for their next meal (ego). After opening yansh finish or being baby mama #2 for flavor, he will leave them and they will be looking for captain save a hoe to marry them. Of course no self respecting naija man will do so, then that's when all those "there are no good men out there" or " nigerian men don't take marriage seriously anymore" threads will start.

Meanwhile there's a nice naija man out there who's studying hard to be successful. And these two ashewo no send him. Again this is an example of a modern day naija woman. They'll never invest in a broke unsuccessful man but they expect us to invest in their ashewo ass when they're looking to marry.

Everyone come back home, stop living as 2nd class citizens in a white man's country.

Typical naija woman response. If Obi was on the streets selling pure water these single insecure naija woman wouldn't send him. Now he's successful see how they're on to him like Flys on shit. Naija women don't invest in their men when he's unsuccessful, but when he makes it they expect him to invest in her. I support Chiwetel, obi, wale, etc. Go marry someone who showed you love before you made it. Leave these desparate naija women alone.

juman:
What a nation!

A country where the so called leaders deliberately destroyed the country and push the country in to mess.

The killing of innocent people is totally bad.

Obviously one nigeria as failed. A country of 54 years but still remain not functioning.

To hell with one nigeria.

Well said. I will stay in my oyibo obodo country and be treated as a "2nd" class citizen than deal with this

OLADD:
[color=#006600][/color]

How wrong can you be? The Americans indeed negotiated with some Taliban insurgents just two months ago, a deal that resulted in exchange of captured US soldiers for Taliban detainees. Get that into your brain.
And you rightly said the insurgents are living on our soil. The question is; should the president launch all-out onslaught on the terrain and thereafter accused of "committing genocide against the north"?. Use your brain again.

You're an idiot. Are the Taliban on US soil killing it's citizens children ? If so you think Obama would sit down and negotiate with them. It would an all out war. I don't care for politics or the perception anyone would have. A state that cannot provideo security for its citizenship is not a real state. So what would you suggest? Let this nonsense continue to happen ? Use your brain.

Who negotiates with terrorist on their soil. Can you imagine the US government negotiating with terrorists who have caused damage on their soil and is currently living on their soil. This government is a joke.

That could have been my child. Glad I left this banana republic. And this is the country that is getting better and people in the diaspora should return too ? I feel for the parents and children. Their only crime was going to school to learn.

whysquare4real:
A friend of mine is regretting not getting his wife pregnant before marriage. D wife is yet to get pregnant and it is becoming a source of worry to d whole family. Though I told him to keep faith in God Almighty.

A know a guy who's been married for 10 years and doctors conformed his wife can't get pregnant. This is why you test the woman first. He still hasn't left her which we've been all advising him to do. If he became broke her ass would be gone. We've been telling him for better or worse is a myth nowadays.

missberrypop5:
A good guy is a good guy, and a good husband should marry you properly. Its a pity we all acknowledge abominable acts. I'm an igbo woman, and i respect my culture and traditions, its an abomination to marry a woman with child in my place, even if you insist, she must put to bed before they can collect her bride price. It doesn't even show decency, its a disgrace. Its also a sin in the sight of God, how can you join a man, a woman and their child together in holy matrimony? That's why there's a high rate of insects going on in our time. Know the type of woman you're getting married to, most of you men are the reasons why many women are without wombs, you want a virgin? Learn to keep every girl you come across untouched. Like i posted earlier, i will never marry with pregnancy, if all men want it that way, i don't mind being single.

Typical igbo woman with her hypocracy.

The same woman who feel it's bad to cook for their bf will now expect him to pay the bill if they do any activity outside. One foolish woman said they'd never cook for any man unless he's her husband. So a man shouldn't spend a penny on a woman unless she's his wife ? Nigerian women nowadays are becoming trash. No wonder nigerian men are looking outside more often now

See how fast the children embraced him without thinking twice. No questions asked or bitterness. That's good because he's their biological father. But if you were their step father who trained them how would you feel ? Another reason any man who marry's someone with a child and takes care of another man's child is a fool.

We also can't forget she opened up the interview saying her first love:

"He was a very, very, handsome man. A long time ago, very handsome man, trust me."

I'm assuming she's talking about her baby daddy. Most of these girls baby daddy's usually are. But of course no mention of his academic or professional achievements if he has any. Ironic.

Kash007:
Unfortunately, most people are bitter and judge others based on their limited knowledge. Also fueling this perception is our kind of society...no wonder most girls wud rather have series of abortions or dump the child in a canal than be tagged by hypocrates for life. I am glad you are not allowing such notions limit you. I like an intelligent and confident woman, and clearly you have both in abundance. If you werent so faraway, I would have come submit my CV *wink*wink*

You seem like one of those womanizers who likes to prey on single mothers just to sleep with them. I know some people like your kind. But assuming you actually meant the nonsense you typed, I'll remind you of the typical hypocrisy displayed by Nigerian Women. As usual to campaign for her cause, which is the worst case situation any single woman can be in, she says:

"And if a man you know likes a single mother, don't immediately speak ill of her before him. Allow him make his own findings"

This woman without a doubt in her lifetime has discourage a girlfriend to date or be with a man who she deemed unworthy of her friend. I've seen it with my sister and female cousins. If you're not of a certain height or have a certain amount of income, these girls won't give you a chance, and you'll be the joke among her group of friends. You think if you were talking to her friend and you stood at 5'1, 110 pounds, unemployed, broke, and living with your mama, she would allow her friend to make her own findings ? Get real. She wouldn't respect her friend just as I don't respect any of mine who date or marry single mothers. Like my friends mother, when I go visit my friend who had a child with a baby mama, I have no interest seeing or playing with his baby mama's child, just his biological one.

Just look at Genevieve Nnaji. Another useless Nigerian baby mama who's in her mid 30's. When asked what she looks for in a man, she said:


"There has to be physical attraction that will draw me to you but at the end of the day"

"Aww, I love tall guys. I’m short you have to think of the kids."


http://www.kingebuka.com/2014/10/i-have-no-boyfriend-and-am-not-looking.html

Think of the kids ? Do they see short men as someone with ebola ? Can this grandma still even born pikin ? She tried to salvage the interview by talking about the guy having a good mind as well. It's all nonsense. She really wants a tall/muscular man with "swag". She's saying all this being a useless 35 year old single baby mama. Imagine when she was younger without a daughter ? You would have to be on Dangote level to even have a chance. Now men are in a favourable position regarding these old single baby mama's, they're asking for sympathy and understanding. Anyways sha you seem like a yahoo guy. You'd smash, get some money from her, then leave.

khiaa:
I don't think your way is more or less sensibly put, but it's sad if that is true. Maybe that's why he's so bitter, but he found himself a good woman so he should keep that bitterness in the pass.

A man speaks the truth, though it's not in the favor of single mothers = bitter.

A single woman with a child wishes evil upon a man and his female relatives and future daughters who refuse to date them = a rational human being who has been victimed.

A single man who would date single mothers bashes other single men who would never = a real man.

A single man who would never date a single mother but bashes guys who would = a evil person.

Your bias and hypocracy is funny sweety.

carefreewannabe:
Nobody asked you to date single mothers.
My problem with you is the disrespect you proudly display that offends single mothers, their kids and men who don't mind dating single mothers.

You are free now. Go and sin no more.

Being shocked I wouldn't date a single mother, saying bad karma will happen to me if I don't, that my sister or future daughters would be somehow cursed can be viewed as disrespect as well. But a clearly desparate single mother campaigning for her cause said it so it can't be disrespectful. Either way I respect freedom of speech and realize someone's opinion can differ from mine and its ok. This is something you need to learn and respect. You like to see only what you want to see.

carefreewannabe:
Go back to your bush, please.

I apologize. Everything you said is correct. Fellas I suggest you marry single mothers. Move them inside your house and take care of another grown man's responsibility. House and feed his child. After all single mothers are the strongest and smartest of all women in the world. Who needs a smart, single, and fertile woman with no baggage.

I have said it now free me.

carefreewannabe:
In an environment that is crowded with chauvinism, Naija women are still too nice.

Send Maternal to any Western country and let him spew his rubbish there and see how women AND MEN will react to him.

You have started again. I now live in the west. Everything I've said are based on facts or my life experience. Any reasonable man would agree with me. It's a pity you're deceiving women on this board. Other than being at a great disadvantage finding a boyfriend or husband, they're also at a big disadvantage economically as well. All these "strong independent single mothers" if they had to do it all over again, they wouldn't put themselves in the position they're in. You can fool others with your rhetoric, it won't work on me. I'm a realist.

If my woman cheated I'd rather die a honorable death than take her back. One of my friend his now wife cheated on him. She kissed another man. He took her back and eventually married her. Nobody respects him in our group of friends anymore. I just couldn't.

As for the double standard. This is a result of supply and demand. A good amount of nigerian woman wouldn't leave a relationship where her partner is cheated or has cheated. She fears being looked down in society for be a single mother (if they had kids), afraid she may never find another partner and age being lonely, biological clock may be thicking so she'll accept it just to have children before her eggs rot, etc. Nothing more useless than a unmarried and childless women. Either way naija women who put up with a cheating partner is solely due to her selfish reasons. She's not holy pass her cheating husband.

Carefree,

I know you're a feminist. But single mothers in the west aren't strong at all. They're a liability to the state. Stop it.

jaydee87:
Bro thanks for your advice, the problem is the guy na her friend senior brother, the guy just moved after the whole film... well I just dey tank God say she no let me enta cos she fit say na me, one reason why I liked her more.

Na lie. She didn't size you up at the time. If she did she would have let you enter and pin that other man's child on you. Don't give that ashewo too much credit.

jaydee87:
presently faced with the same issue right now, I love the girl so much but ppl say I shudnot marry her cos of the baby but mine is a little complicated cos the girl in question got pregnant few months before I met her, dint notice till she was 5 months... and wat feared me to her was every time I ask for sex she politely decline without giving reasons u til I got the news from her mom... I was sad cos I really like the babe. now she has given birth, the baby will be two on the 17 this month. she still calls me till date even wen I stopped calling her...am more. confused no what shud I do...

God blessed you, and you claim you're confused ?

#1 She hid her pregnancy not to expose her ashewo ways, yet these delusional women on here claim all single mothers are proud of their seed.

#2 She denied you sex due to her shameful pregnancy

#3 Her MOTHER told you about her child. Again if she wasn't ashamed or thought her value has decreased, why didn't she tell you ?

# 4 She's still calling you because SHE'S DESPARATE, looking for a captain save a baby mama to come and be a father to her bastard child. You weren't good enough to be informed of the child, or get some sex, yet you're good enough to play daddy to another man's child? She's' insulting you.

#5 A woman this shady has the ability to kill you someday.

omo run. But I'm afraid you have caught serious feelings. You must suppress them. You seem like a good guy. Believe me if this was 3 years ago she probably wouldn't answer your calls let alone be desperately trying to get a hold of you now. She seems like a local champion who was riding any guys prick with "swag" or ego. Now she get belle, the 419 or swagged out guy she let impregnate her didn't even have the respect to help her through the pregnancy. These are the type of characters she was entertaining. Now she's in the worst position a single woman can ever be in, she has humbled herself and is now chasing you. My friend you didn't dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear missile. Does she call her baby daddy this much? Does she even know who he is ? Hapu this ashewo abeg.

Sagamite:
First of all, you need to learn to comprehend better.

I could go ahead, AS USUAL, to run you through the mill by asking you very simply:

How did my saying "a woman is now at a disadvantage" equivalent to "her child is a disadvantage"?

And then you would be stuck and look like a jellyfish out of water.

That is the beauty of online forum arguments! Everything you say, just the way you say without any emotional twisting, sugar-coating and ranting shout-downs is there for all to see. It is far better than live verbal arguments for those that like to stick to what is actually said, objectivity, facts and logic.

I did not call the child a "disadvantage", I stated that the child being in the picture puts the woman at a disadvantage.

So, AGAIN, next time comprehend what is said before any feminist outburst.

Now to the logic and facts! ..............You know, those sensible stuff.

YES, having a child is a disadvantage in the mating world, [far far far]⁸ more so for women. It limits the pool of men who would be interested in them, the way they (women) usually want a man to be interested in them i.e. long-term commitment.

Simple FACT! If you still don't get it, get a dictionary to understand the meaning of the word "disadvantage".

A WOMAN HAVING A CHILD IS A DISADVANTAGE IN MATING!

How is it a disadvantage:

1. It gives a perceptive confirmation of lack of impurity and freshness. It somehow subconsciously indicates she is not all yours, someone else had owned her before you. It is also a statement to ALL who know you both that your misses was totally someone else's before. Men are naturally territorial and feminine purity is seen and valued at a premium. A child says "This territory was colonised before", many men with several options might not be willing to take that.

2. Any man going into it, with his head screwed on, has to accept the child(ren) as his and treat them equally as his own. The last time I checked, it cost £220K to raise a child in the UK up to 18 (that is roughly £12K per year). That is a steep price to pay for, or part of for, an action and pleasure that was not his. Even if the babyfather is responsible and chips in well, it is inevitable he would pay somehow (except she was previous married and the courts helped her milk her ex-husband well). Many men with several options might not be willing to pay that price especially for women who don't have a good reputation as nice people, and likely would not consider him in her prime while he was working hard and she was probably chasing bad boys or money bags (as these men see some of the single mothers).

3. A woman with a child finds it harder to date as she is not always available and might even be restricted where she can meet the guy because she does not want to introduce him too early into the child's life. Girls without kids don't have such limitations and it is easier for the guy to hook-up when he feels like. It is more fun.

4. She would prioritise her love and caring for her child. The man is really secondary. As nice as that is in principles, it is not an attractive proposition for men with several propositional options and who is not the father of the child. He can easily get a woman who would make him primary love.

5. Having a family where one child or children is fathered by a different man from the rest does not form the image of a perfect family and wholeness in the current funky society we live in where it is suppose to be about one man - one woman. A society that many would even be pissed at the thought of polygamy and rant and rant and rant out of pure anger. A child or children having to leave their half-siblings to spend some time or special days with their natural father does note make the perfect family in the Western ideals society advocate for now.

6. And if the guy is unlucky, he can even potentially have trouble with baby father or even child leading to potential antagonism or a troubled child.

7. A single mother's body is very much unlikely to be at its prime. She is less likely to be at her most attractive level. You know? That thing (attractiveness) that is the main stuff women need to woo a man.

8. Many African families with sons they see as premium would not accept their prime horse take a single mother and many follow their family expectations.

So to many men, a single mother is perceived as offering less in a mating situation. Offering an inferior proposition. That is what is called a "DISADVANTAGE" for her pulling market.

FACTS and LOGIC! The latter an assetable functionality women struggle to have.

Neither did I say one should use single mothers as revenge for on ill-mannered women. What I said is they should not expect consideration and selflessness from men. Same things most of them (black women) would most likely not offer if they have nothing to gain and the boot was on the other foot as many men have experienced when these girls were at their pprime. I treat people, and believe people should be treated, the way they deserve.

Except their is a mechanism to identify which of them were not shytheads when they had the boot earlier, then unfortunately consideration and selflessness would be in short supply for most of them. I am not a fan of rewarding the wrong people. It is against my fundamental core fcking principles. Some might be individuals with pure personalities that comes through and you will see them in different light, but many are like what Black/Naija women are like, so why should those have men being nice to them when they are inconsiderate and heartless themselves? Why would men come and be saviours for women who, when these women had an upper hand before single motherhood, would have rejected them insultingly and disparagingly if they were suitors?

As I said from the start, it is a personal choice. Those listings would mean some men would not choose single mothers. That lack of choosing is what is called a ............."disadvantage".

Well said. You saved me a lot of typing. The financial aspect is the main thing. My biological child would get everything first (food, school fees paid, etc) before another man's child if I ever married a single mother. In fact I would not be able to love that child like my own flesh and blood. I just couldn't. While I'm spending 12k per year on ANOTHER MAN'S child, their biological father is in the clubs popping bottles. These baby mama's are worse than 419 guys.

carefreewannabe:
I don't know who you are talking about exactly but you will NEVER find ME putting men down for not being finically stable.

It may not be you specifically, but its common in African/Nigerian culture. Its ironic every women, specifically those who are single mothers are now understanding or would have sympathy for a broke man in this thread.

carefreewannabe:
No, I am not taking it personal.
I am not a single mother. I don't have kids at all.

I just know how much strength it takes to be a good single mother and it is irritating that people will put these women down by telling them that it is bad karma.
Some of these women lost their husbands due to an accident or an illness.
Others were abandoned even if the father initially wanted the child.

You don't have to marry them. They ALL know that MANY men are not willing to accept their children, for one reason or another.
Yet, I see no reason why on every thread about single mothers people have to put them down by, for example, explaining to them how their "market value" diminished BECAUSE OF THEIR CHILD.

I see more reasons to lift them up, to help and to encourage them, which will also benefit the children. This doesn't mean you have to marry them.

I also see no reason why on every thread broke and unsuccessful men are put down by women when it comes to finding a partner to marry. While I may sound like a broken record, I must point out the hypocrisy by these same women, who are now asking for understanding, who also join in these broken men bashing.

bugativeron:
I dont know about you. But as for me I am tired of this country and it seems nothing will ever work again. I need to look for a legitimate way of getting my family out of this country. Me, my wife and my two children. I am tired of spending my income on things that are consumption in nature without being able to see what lies in the future. Like I said it can be frustrating seeing the way the country is being run. But my greatest fear is for the future of my children. Please forget any advise not to go my mind is made up. Mind you I work and I am not sure i earn badly, at least earn above 8m annually with my wife we earn over 10m. But i cant just continue with the frustration that come with this country. PLS YOUR ADVISE ON LEGITIMATE WAY TO LEAVE AND NEVER TO COME BACK AGAIN.

My brother get out while you can. A lot here either haven't gone out, weren't smart enough to make it abroad, or don't have children. I'll answer your questions as I am in canada and have never regretted a day getting out. To begin with 10 million naira is around 67k canadian. That's chump change. Most here with a dual income make 100k Canadian a year easily. You and your wife will have to decide before you leave, if you will attempt to do what you were doing in naija, or come here and get a minimal but very good paying job without much education. I'd do that rather than going back to school because a naija degree is not recognized here.

But once your children get here the sky is the limit. They can be whatever they want in life. There's peace and security here. Light/ and running water all works. And once you get that passport, you'll be visa free to get into most countries. Again that will definitely benefit your children.

To get in canada is looking for skilled workers or caregivers. I would apply for one of these programs, you and your wife. If one gets it they can go and I believe in 2 years one can become a pernament resident which then they Cann apply for their spouse and children to come over. Within a few years one can then get citizenship. Lastly there's good medical care funded by the government. Good health care won't be an issues unlike in naija. The sky is the limit make the move I'm telling you. If you work hard the country will reward you; believe me

Sagamite:
What about if it is karma that is making these women single mothers and have the tables turned on them?

As maternal said, many of these girls would have their head up their arsse and be belligerent to suitors they don't like (or even like) before the single motherhood. Only to be humble and reasonable after they are now at a disadvantage.

It is well known that majority of black women have a stinking attitude when relating to men, unfortunately it is not tattooed on their heads which ones are but it can be comfortably said majority are, so why should men be considerate and self-less to the ones that end up unfortunate?

And don't give us all that "real man", "strong man" crap.

Most women tend to be reasonable mainly only when the disadvantage is theirs. If they face no disadvantage, they are unreasonable and don't consider others' feelings. It is all "me, me, me".

Yes oo

Total madness. Can you imagine a broke man selling pure water, living under a bridge, coming up to one of these now holy responsible women asking for their hand in marriage prior to them being baby mama's ? And after she says no, the man now turns into a pastor saying god will bless you if you take me, remember you have a brother and father, karma will do them. And also you are not a real and strong women unless you marry a poor man. Haba he will be the biggest joke of the whole Nigeria for generations to come. Yet these single mothers think they can pull this crap on Nigerian men ?