MimiBiggs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iuq4yQLsdlQ

So the thought was to just record the poor woman and child rather than offering assistance of any kind. What is wrong with people? Everything today revolves around going viral and getting likes...

IlufoyeOlamife:


is not about the husband, u can't satisfy evil persons.....infact when I do good, it is consider as bad

My comment is about the husband. This tragedy can’t occur without his decisions.

If when you do good people tell you it’s bad, perhaps it’s not as good as you thought. Be open to correction.

IlufoyeOlamife:


my dear no blood for the man hand ooo....
I like women wer get pride, if u can't b the only wife don't marry, afford men with on satisfy-able taste for women....

If a man intends to be a polygamist he should state so from the start so as to only attract women who agree to that lifestyle. Most women don’t want to share their man the same as most men don’t want to share their woman. It’s a natural way.

And even when everyone agrees to polygamy the husband must bring it about in a way that ensures all the wives are equally loved and cared for or else jealousy will be a natural result. He failed in his duty entirely.

Some men even enjoy having the women fight for his attention and affection...

Draslo:
I'm not going to bore you with an epistle.

We dated between 2016-17. We had a mutual break-up cause I went to Ghana for a bit (5 months. I needed a change of scenery). We spoke and chatted at intervals before we both ghosted each other. I heard she got married to a big shot Abuja guy in 2019.

Fast forward to Saturday evening this past weekend, I got a message on Instagram from her. Long story short, she opened a beauty spa in Abuja in December. She wants me to help her manage it. She knows I have my commitments in Lagos but wants to take advantage of the fact that I visit Abuja once or twice a month. She proposes that I can come only on weekends since my weekdays are almost fully engaged, ensure her books are balanced and she'll pay for my return flight every Friday. I asked if her husband is aware of who I am. She stuttered and I just knew he doesn't. She will pay well but it's not about the money. It's more like granting a favour but I feel she's got an ulterior motive somewhere. And me, I have a soft spot for her and my flesh is very, very weak.

Do you think I'm right? Or maybe I'm just being paranoid?

Modified.
I'm sorry to say but many of you reason like kids. I have no intention of sleeping with her. I'm principled never to sleep with any of my exes. Do you have any idea how many women are on this planet? What is wrong with the lot of you? I just find it hard to turn her down because she's such a good person.

Hmm. That’s tricky. But if you’re only doing it for a favor and it’s not really for the money anyway then to avoid any unnecessary temptation just stay away from her.

you said your flesh is weak, you have a soft spot for her, & you think she has an ulterior notice so then why pursue the matter further and end up in an affair? Practice self-restraint and kindly decline.

I always thought Nigerians were very conservative and religious people until I came to know the culture well. Now I know that many people will be “forming” online but have few morals in real life.

One post today trending has members talking about a Zulu girl’s boobs and this one here has it proposed that an actress kissing during a film might be some sort of an abomination.

Hmm which means the husband did not do his duty. If a man takes another wife he is to ensure that there is peace, that no wife is left feeling broken or less than or betrayed by the arrangement. If a man cannot manage two wives and guarantee harmony then he should not engage in polygamy. The blood is on his hands as well.

Richy4:




someone that dictates every move people make and calls it racism... Someone who is sad and not confident about her skin color in the mixed of adversaries is talking about inferiority complex.. That's why I said I can't help you dear..
However, I feel so bad that you were trapped in America and they particularly don't like your skin....Sorry there's nothing I can do about that....

You seem to be projecting, don’t confuse me for your deep seated issues.

“Every move” hmm seems you know me very well to know what I label people’s every move. Is it “every move” or was it a white teacher admitting to making a Black American child kneel before him based on the fact that the child is Black? Pathetic

Unlike you, I am proud of my heritage, my complexion, and African descent. Unlike you, I acknowledge and abhor racism and those we call c00ns who worship white people and look down on their own. Ya know, those types who see a story where a Black child was victimized and rushes to defend the white person. Sickening people, truly..


You said you are in the racism capitol of the world, right? so I’m sorry your skin is likewise despised... nothing you can do about that one either lol

Richy4:


Comprehension issues... I can't help you have a good day

You couldn’t help me to begin with. Especially considering you’re the one in need of help.

Good luck Hopefully your inferiority complex gets you far! Racists love people like you, so you’re well placed to succeed in your “capitol of racism”.

Take care

Richy4:


Hmmm!!! Ok, I got you but the difference between me and you is that I do not play race card on any slight opportunity. I like myself too much to do that…. In as much as there are racists in this world, there are rooms for benefit of the doubt which people like you can’t possibly see apart from the usual race poem you knew how to chant.. It’s about time you stop playing the race card on everything and learn to love whom you are. You owe yourselves that at least... you don’t have to look like the god of vengeance and doom all the time.

Please stop acting as if American system of education/ discipline is unique and extremely different from the rest of the world because that was nauseating. I felt like smashing my laptop reading your tiny crèche course on American Education system… Stop feeling as if American kind of racism/ racist is different from any other in the world, There’s nothing, absolute nothing special about American kind of racism.. Racism is racism anywhere.. Asking if I don’t understand American racism is just Childish.

It so interesting how you tried to make it look like I said there’s no caring mom who can go way out to protect their kids… Yes a mom can genuinely love her child but that woman in question is after money. Take it or leave it…I can even kneel and tell you that I stand by my words.. and I won’t go on a therapy over that.

I’m done talking about this silly racism talk but I have to give it to you. You analyzed me so well as a classic case of internalized white supremacy. How did you know me so well? I don’t even know myself the way you do. You can even predict what I’m wearing right now .. Anyways I got to go have a great day .

You don’t know the mother but have determined without evidence that she is after money. And despite the headmaster himself admitting that the student’s race is why he had him kneel (because of his African descent) some less intelligent people will say it’s not about race and I’m playing the race card. The headmaster said it was about race, genius! Smh. The only thing the headmaster disagrees with is that it was “racist” and wrong to have a child kneel to him based on the child’s race. Do you get it now?

You called white supremacy a “theory” and now using the term “race card” but balk at the idea you’ve internalized white supremacy? Denial is a hell of a drug.


Wasn’t it you who said that you can’t focus on America’s history or white supremacy because you are in the racism capital of the world. So then it was you who inferred racism is different in different places, initially, remember? Also, not all school systems are the same, are you kidding? One place you have to pay fees to attend school, one place education is free. One place teachers can beat children, another system it is illegal. If you don’t know what is normal behavior in American school systems don’t speak on what you don’t know. It’s not a lot to ask.

The difference between you volunteering to kneel is that I am not a person of authority over you who has required you kneel before me in subjection. Another huge difference is that you’re typing on a laptop and know that it’s impossible to kneel before me and so you never have to live up to your words. Talk is cheap, come here and kneel before me if you’re really ‘bout it.

averageguy:


In general, my experience has been that in Europe, it's not as popular to find the sort of community you see in many parts of Nigeria where people know the names of everyone on their streets and you visit people without calling ahead.

That being said, I don't believe it affects ladies any differently from the guys. Reading through the thread in general, some people are trying to claim a cultural superiority in Nigeria because the culture in Europe generally does not subjugate women. So, of course, if you physically threatened or hit your wife, you have to leave the house for a while, or the system acknowledges that a spouse is typically the backbone supporting a person's financial success and therefore, the wealth is divided if they split. I can see how that threatens our general beliefs in Nigeria and I think people are just clinging to the perceived superiority of the general Nigerian culture.

That’s what I gathered.

This post, to me, is meant to be a warning for some and confirmation to others. For those who want the gender divide to be closed and who want progress as far as gender inequality, it serves as a warning that things like reporting rape, beatings, sexual harassment will lead to loss of companionship. And for those who hate the idea of gender equality in any way, they want to accept the post because it helps make up their argument.

I agree, it’s very threatening for the way things currently work in Nigeria. but no matter how many posts with fake scenarios & fake statistics are made, progress is gonna reach Nigeria eventually regardless.

Richy4:


Just maybe you don't know the meaning of vindication or you have a very good selective reading skills.... A kid committed and Offence in the class and was asked to apologize and you were talking about vindication?

Yesterday, Somewhere in South Africa, there was a video making around where a black female teacher called out students in the Assembly and was combing their hair in front of other students for constantly refusing to comb while coming to school or be sent home for not combing.... A lot of people like you said it was humiliation... she should have invited the students privately and comb their hair...or even sent them home for not combing.... Now imagine that female teacher being a white woman... You would have also brought the case of white supremacy and racism because it is obvious you are vast with the knowledge.... And South Africa also have that kind of history......

While dishing out your American history and white supremacy theory, You forgot one simple fact.... the fact that they were in a school environment dealing with students.... and some students doesn't listen.. Most of the teachers are tired of repeating the same school/ classroom management theory everyday.. And most of you screaming humiliations cannot even stay with your kids sisters or brothers for 6mins not to talk of other people's children without removing your wigs in frustration.... You also forgot that the world is sitting on the edge at the moment... everything good or bad annoys some people nowadays

Speaking of racisms, I choose not to talk about it with you because I am currently in the racist capital of the world... But in this present case, You can bring all American history book and white supremacy encyclopedia to back it up ... I refused to buy it that that head master was being racist... he was misunderstood by a drama queen parent that wants to trend and also cash out... Yes cash out because the therapy is not free and the trauma she claimed her kid was suffering might be paid for by the school with a good lawyer... Fortunately for her, she was singing the song using the language everyone understands over there... and people were dancing to it including you... All I saw was a head master innocently trying a new thing that has a backlash

So you don’t understand racism in America and therefore should stop speaking on things which you have no knowledge about. If you don’t care to learn about the “theory” of white supremacy and the realities of racism in places being discussed then don’t weigh in on the topic as though you have some insight. Stick to your racism capital of the world and the dynamics there.

I’ll educate you how schools work here. Teachers are expected to mold and protect students. They are not tasked with disciplining them, putting them in their place, or humbling/humiliating them. A student being told to apologize on his knees is an anomaly here, it is abhorrent.

I don’t care how much you love white people and think they have the best of intentions, it is strange behavior regardless of race to ask a child to kneel before their teacher to apologize. That the teacher admitted to doing so solely because of the student’s race makes the humiliating behavior racist. This isn’t even difficult to understand.


And it’s interesting how you assume a mom can’t genuinely love her child to the extent she would want to vindicate him and protect him and other kids from ever being exposed to such a thing again, you assume the Black mom must have bad intentions and just want money, right? She doesn’t really care that much for her son... But the white teacher despite the strange actions related to race by his own admission, you assume he has the best of intentions. You even ascribed more fault and bad behavior to the Black child than the teacher.

You are a classic case of internalized white supremacy. How funny.

Cybercop2002:
stop fighting yourself bro we know you love European ladies but that dost change the fact from Google and experience ,do you go out during rain (no i don't) they too don't usually go out during snow go to quora to and learn stop being biased cause of your fetish motive

Is this reply actually meant for me, a woman, accusing me of having a fetish for European women

Sunkie119:

"White Males" no religion is attached but once is a Muslim name then we all tag him as a Muslim terrorists

In reality when it’s a white male they usually don’t highlight much about his identity at all in the media. But that is true about Muslims...

ShaqFu:
Which point are you trying to make? In my opinion you aren't even making any, you're just hell bent on painting men black. It's pathetic.
The epidemic of gender base violence you say? You even have the effrontery to say it's a reality? Wow. What's a deflection here is you believing because men are not being raped in significant numbers doesn't count. And, these so called NGOs you speak of, why aren't they concern about poverty, terrorism, kidnapping, banditry, armed robbery etc happening in the country? It's gender base violence they're disturbing themselves over.

You even said nearly every NGO in the world is concerned. That is means you have record of every NGO in the world. So please do share, let's see and read.

Yes, 1 in 4 Nigeria woman are sexually assaulted before they turn 18. It's sad, but what's really sad is 3 out of 4 Nigeria women are poor. Mind you I'm sure you don't know rape is common, like very common in countries where poverty is rife. I'm sure you ignore this truth and focus on your women are raped only.
Now this you deflecting again. I'm sure you know Nigeria doesn't even rank among top 10 countries with highest rape cases. Here you are making abstract statements saying "Nigeria ranks among the world highest rape cases for women.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.tbsnews.net/world/countries-highest-rape-incidents-144499%3famp

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/rape-statistics-by-country

That's the link for 10 countries with highest rape cases in the world, guess what, Nigeria isn't among. So what's your Nigeria ranks among countries with highest rape cases say about you? You just want to create a mountain out of a Molehill.
Oh please stop making cheap excuses. You're making yourself sound like someone desperately grasping for straws when they know they don't have any point to make.

You fail to know a whole lot of women are making it in Nigeria, but the media doesn't really make it news. Allover the country, women are creating milestones and making a name for themselves. It is only women like you who believe the world should revolve around them and everything should be handed over to you on a platter of gold because, you're a woman who make this very cheap excuses.

Men are making it in Nigeria just like women. Things like gender oppression against women are becoming a thing of the past. So stop making excuses. Excuses are for cheap people.
Another excuse as usual. Men aren't being coddle, women are. Yes I know some people even women see women as inferior to men, but that's something base on their personal view.

Women are given opportunities all over the country. Even this present government have given women the opportunity to show what they're made of. So stop living in the past. Come to the future.

Ok, I’m not reading all this nonsense. You say I don’t have a point then go on to argue against each one of them. Not agreeing with my points is not the same as accusing me of not having any.

My point can be found in my original comment: Nigeria in particular really has a problem as far as men feeling women are inferior beings. It’s all throughout the culture and is a cancer to society.

You can use semantics all you want and say since Nigeria is not officially TOP 10 of rapes worldwide (despite infamously low rates of reporting) it’s a safe place.... but no country where women are sexually assaulted 1 in 4 by the age of 18 is safe and it is an epidemic. Nigeria is ranked like number 3 most dangerous countries for women in Africa and 9th most dangerous countries for women worldwide.

All the other stuff you’re saying to obfuscate and distract from the reality of gender based violence I’m not interested in.

You are throwing poverty, terrorism, and finally blatant denial at my statements to keep from admitting Nigeria has a real men problem. Nigerians are not taking time to teach men how to be moral, accountable, and responsible citizens.

People like you will write up an entire research paper just to avoid admitting to the conditions women face.

I’ll live in your fantasy with you: Nigeria is very safe for women. Men and women live as near equals in every facet of Nigerian society, in fact women have more power than men in some cases. So much female privilege. Nigeria is actually the capital of gender progression and serves as a beacon for the world in terms of gender equality. Enjoy your delusions.

luminouz:

I don't believe your last line. Your posts are proofs.

Do have a nice day.

I don’t care what you believe... enjoy your day as well

mabea:
And I presume America should be a standard for of us.......

In areas that make sense? yes.

But that also wasn’t the point I was making, so let’s stick to that.

The point I was making was actually the opposite: that just because “100 million Nigerians” feel certain things are acceptable or something is not traumatic doesn’t mean the rest of the world agrees.

newuser11:

I don't think that's the issue. Buh I do seriously think I should consult one. Know any good one?
Thanks BTW

I’m not sure, sorry. I’m assuming you are in Nigeria, so I can’t really... Your best bet would be to Google “individual counseling + city”. Good luck with that.

OneTemplate:


It is because some black people, Africans in particular, suffer from inferiority complex. They subconsciously hate themselves and their own race. The see good in white skin and believe white people to be the 'master race'.

'Diluting' the mix, by marrying white and having mixed race children, is therefore seen as genetic upgrading for those type of black folks.

No disrespect to anyone but I personally find black women the most attractive women in the world by far. Their feature always stand out stunningly against their darker skin in ways white complexion can never facilitate.

I can't intentionally date or marry a white woman and I don't want mixed race kids deliberately as my preference is to have kids that look like me and my black partner completely but one can never preclude fining love in any colour.

Black people and black families are the most beautiful to me but that is my personal opinion I am sure others will reject.

It's a free world at the end of the day but it is nauseating when some gush over black and white marriages and the offspring their union produce as if that is the best and most superior combination to seek or celebrate. Tragic to be honest.

I wish I could like this twice!

You said it perfectly. “inferiority complex” is exactly it.

My short time visiting Nigeria I got a sample when I was looking for Black dolls to purchase in the stores and there were none to be found... when I asked why I was told no one would purchase them if they were there. I couldn’t understand how in a majority Black country how white dolls could be the popular choice except that white supremacy was very much ingrained in the psyche of the people.

And what you said about wanting kids who look like you is important. Black people who always gush over interracial couples/mixed kids deep down hate their looks and having children with dark skin or African associated features is something they would happily avoid. Mixed kids represent “goals” to them.

One day I pray this mindset is far behind our people.

luminouz:


I went through your posts. You are always either arguing wildly on Bible issues or fighting blindly on feminism. Even people who have been to Europe said the women are lonely but you, an American said nope, and I wonder why you are so aggressive!!!

Talk to me, who broke ya heart babe?

“Fighting wildly” is something you won’t ever find me doing, especially on religious issues lmao... so I wonder why you would mischaracterize me in such a way? Hmmm

“Fighting blindly” another thing you won’t find me doing. I always speak on topics I’m educated on and have researched well. But nice try...

“Fighting” at all is a mischaracterization since I’m doing the same as you and weighing in where I choose on whatever topics I choose. It’s a forum, meant for conversation, even debate.

I know Europeans not just people who have “been to Europe”... and never have I heard any analysis that women continent wide are suffering loneliness and loss of companionship. Most women who are scammed are those seeking young African men who they can exploit because it is easier to lure a young African guy with their euros than is to find a young man from their country at their age or with their less desirable looks.

I’m not aggressive, I’m direct.

OneTemplate:


I don't get it either. It is like a white partner is a 'catch' for some black folks they feel validates and elevates them.

Nice looking family but if they were an exclusively black family would this thread exist?

Of course the thread wouldn’t exist at all. It’s sad how little value is placed on Black love and the beauty of Black families, honestly.