₦airaland Forum

Instead of fixing your hopes and dreams on another person, fix your hope on God and seek to please him through this relationship

As children of God, who knows the end from the beginning, when entering a relationship - the end should be in sight, meaning you enter with clear indication that this person is possibly your life partner. With you both acknowledging God before you begin, know that along the way there will be clearer recognitions and confirmations. This way your relationship will be fixed on God and you both will desire to please Him.

A lot of relationships and marriages have been abandon because they didn't begin with a goal or purpose in sight that depends on God.
It is said "whatever GOD joins together, let nothing put asunder" key phrase being _what God joins_

After we have had an encounter with God we realize that there is a purpose why we meet certain people in life. And purpose defines our preparation. So first discovering from God if a person you meet is your future partner helps you build a better relationship focused on God, for when your dating and courting has a purpose to it, it will endure.

Discovering God leads a woman into a relationship believing that it is God who created all trees that declares what supplies our needs and not the man - her dependence is on God, with this she won't put pressure on him.
Discovering God makes a man in a relationship not act like a god but humble, knowing that God’s word is the authority - this way he is not putting pressure on her, trying to subjugate her for he know what it means to submit as well, as he submits to God.

The world's standard is we discover a person's problem we leave them for another but in God's standard from the onset God opens our eyes to both seeing our problem and how we can help each other (note before God decision are made with both of you in mind, and not selfish to please one person).
This opening (revelation) occurs at times during prayer, you can't say you love someone as yourself and while you pray for yourself you don't pray for them as well. (Let me add, maturity is learning how to handle what we hear or discover about others whether it's true or false)

As a man you treat a lady you are in a relationship with as you would treat your wife with love and respect, same with ladies, you treat him similarly with honor as you would your husband. It means that everything that function in a marriage should function in your relationship apart from sex.

The world's standard is you start a romantic relationship then discover if you would spend the rest of your life with the person but the biblical standard is first discovering God's will and following through with it and also by the spiritual guidance of God and by support of those who he has placed as godly authority over your lives you then move forward. Most of the women who got married in scripture didn't have a pre-romantic journey what they had was direction and a decision they had to make.

And yes the person might end up not being your wife or husband but you will come out of that relationship where you practiced the right way having learnt more and having made each other better. Taking God's approach breaks us but doesn't leave us broken it makes us realize how much of a blessing we are to another person's life.

Unlike the world, God's standard is that your dating process is not a discovering process, it's a building process, building on what you can see and not discovering because you started with your eyes closed believing false promises. It might be okay to hope and daydream about a person's future potential but it is more important that you know a person's purpose and life pattern, because you can't build with what might happen, you build with what is available.

Let me point this out when we make our personal fulfillment the goal of every relationship, it never works out. It also doesn't work out for those who constantly test their partners, instead of praying and trusting God to reveal the truth while treating them the way God wants us to and not the way we think they deserve.

Great relationships involve struggle, conflict, working through issues, and refusing to demand, consciously or not, that the other person make our lives work. The result is a lot of personal growth and relational health. God is inviting you into a life of thoughtful, sacrificial love in your relationships. It will be the most challenging pursuit you have ever undertaken. BUT IT MUST DEPEND ON GOD WHO ALONE CAN HELP YOU DEFEND IT.

Happy Sunday

Instead of falling in love, walk in love

When a person's tries moving forward with closed eyes they fall and that's what happens when the world sells to us that "love is blind", we tend to "fall" in love but to walk and walk uprightly without staggering or falling one's eyes must be open.
You see the love the world sells is built on lies and fantasy, based on appearance and how we can sell ourselves as "perfect" while we seek those who present themselves as such. When a relationship starts with deception it is bound to fail at some point.

Having open eyes first means, seeing ourselves for who we are, but when we hide ourselves so many times and fail to be honest about who we are or accept it ( *who we are* - based on what God says and not what our heart says, for the heart can be deceptive), we tend to lose ourselves and forget who we are.
The disadvantage of this is that you could be a 2012 Volvo try to operate as a 2002 toyota or a 2014 bmw SUV, what these cars need for maintenance and their usage will be different.

Secondly, having open eyes means seeing your partner for who they are and not who you desire them to be nor see them as who they try pretending to be.

The key here is, if you can see yourself you can see others as well but if you live in delusion you will be deceived as well. We should note that without the first step and receiving the Holy Spirit, our eyes will be closed by the deceptions in this world.

We can't walk in love until we get rid of desires that blind us. In fact, walking in love means that we love others in exactly the same way that Christ loved us - who knew us for who we are and knew what we needed.

Walking in love is about sacrificial commitment, it is giving the other person what he or she needs the most when it is least deserved, because that's exactly how God has treated you. That's what genuine love is. Love is giving the other person in the relationship what he or she needs the most, not necessarily what he or she wants the most.

So you won't be going into any relationship without first seeing what you can provide and what the person truly needs, and not just what you want and what can they can provide for you. Yes knowing what you need is important so as to recognize a partner God has sent to you, so you know what to accept and what to reject and also not to make unreasonable demands.

Walking in love is not a selfish feeling. God's way is very hard on the feelings, but it's very healthy for the soul.

Genuine love is a deliberate, intentional, honest, and even painful giving up of self preservation for another person's good (when you know they need to hear the truth that could hurt them but free them, even at the risk of losing them, instead of taking the easy way of lying to them you tell them the truth in love).
Walking in genuine love says, "I'm going to give you what you need," and then follows through. No manipulation, no games, and no power play. And, interestingly enough, it's when we love in this way that we actually fan the flames of romance and those good feelings we all long to enjoy.

When we walk in love we think, we pray, we open our eyes to what we can do for the other.

https://www.nairaland.com/5844838/gods-way-lasting-relationship

Good morning

Good morning

Good morning

Good morning

These men do love their exalted altars more than the humbling step of the streets.

The masses need healing and the truth not cushioned seats and fanciful music.

Firstly, Instead of looking for the right person, become the right person

Instead of searching for someone who "looks loveable" or desiring someone who loves us, we should realize that Biblical scripture didn't command us to desire human love, in fact it says "we should love" even those who we may term not loveable (maybe because of how they abuse, despise, hate or treat us). If there is any love it encourages us to first receive, it is the love of God that gives us courage to truly love others.

When we speak of being the right person we speak of being a person who loves and for a person to love they have to have love in them (we can only give what we have, and that's why it's sad many can mostly give the pain they have received from men, which they continue to hold unto).

Most times love fades because most people don't have a strong enough conviction to continue to love. 1 John 4:19 says, "we love because God first loved us". When our conviction to love a person is based on having God's love in us, it beats every other reason to love because every other reason may fade but the true love of God which has no reason remains.

Recall this verse in scripture: Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2 (pointed in my previous posts)

So we imitate God in the way he loves us, we become like him having the same spirit with him, the Holy Spirit (of which bears the fruit of love) which results in loving others the same way.

Let's look at the verses before Ephesians 5:1, which are Ephesians 4:30-31 that shed more light on loving like God:
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Now just before you start a relationship, you must develop a relationship with God which is only possible by having the Holy Spirit which enables our fellowship with God. Because it's through this relationship we learn to love practically. Just as children learn from their father, be children of God and learn from God and not children of the world, practising the ways shared in the earlier posts. Not many are blessed with parents with a wonderful relationship or are close to those who have such (but I advice you to be mentored by those who have lasting and loving relationships that are practical examples of God's word).

Having the Holy Spirit in us, defines us as children of God, he first makes us the right person before guiding us to another right person he has prepared. He makes us right by helping us get rid of past bitterness, anger, malice, things that usually become toxic in our new relationships. And helps us develop a kind and forgiving us, unlike the "expectationalist" mentality a lot enter new relationships with (comparing partners with their past EXs).

We don't have the power to always forgive or be consistently kind and understanding (this power comes when we have received the Holy Spirit). Unless we are so filled with God's love that we recognize that our deepest needs have already been met,
and we're no longer expecting another human being to "complete" us.
We will not be able to imitate God in our love
for others unless we know that we are blessed, valuable, and significant —that we are = loved. Our sense of being loved must not depend on this person liking us or that person coming through for us.

This is why the idea that having a great relationship is all about finding the right person is a lie. The key to developing a great relationship is becoming the right person.
It's only when we grasp that God's love for us is boundless that we have the capacity to be genuine givers in a relationship. If we don't have that, what do we do? We try to get approval. We try to perform. We try to win affection. We attempt to manipulate in order to get what we want.

Leslie Parrott said, "If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don't have. That relationship will end in disaster."

Allow me to paraphrase the Parrotts' statement. Any time you want to build intimacy with a person before your identity is fully in Christ and you know and feel secure and strong in him, you will be expecting that person to do something for you that he or she cannot do.

In other words, when your identity is in Christ, you don't need others the same way, you don't have to perform or pretend, and they don't have to come through in order for your ultimate needs to be met.

The world says, "Set your hope on this person to come through for you. Make this person the center of your existence." It doesn't work.

The problem is, that person is weak, imperfect, and needy, just like you and just like me. That person is going to blow it, right? It hurts, so what do we do? We retaliate, or we manipulate, or we blame. Because the world teaches us to expect from others what God alone can give us, we are unable to appreciate the very real (though limited) wonders of human love.

The key to lasting relationships is developing a relationship with God through Christ in such a way that you are secure in who you are in him. That allows you to be a giver and a real lover. If you do not get there (and there is some hard work involved to understand your identity in Christ, by the way), all your relationships will be handicapped. How do you get there? The first three chapters of Ephesians spell out the process. Until you establish an unshakable identity in Christ, every relationship will be an attempt to get something from that person to make you feel like you're okay. Some of us will manipulate, some of us will get overly attached and dependent, but all of us will produce dysfunctional relationships.

Before i post the next step, my question for you is what are you going to do? Are you going to stick with the somehow simple step from the worldly point of view or will go through the right and straight step of God's way to love?

If you desire the Holy Spirit do feel free to contact me. Remember starting with the Holy Spirit and having Godly and spiritual foundation is a sure first step even though there any formulas out there God's way is still the best to take because the way he will lead you will be unique to you (He knows us more than we know ourselves).

Firstly, Instead of looking for the right person, become the right person

Instead of searching for someone who "looks loveable" or desiring someone who loves us, we should realize that Biblical scripture didn't command us to desire human love, in fact it says "we should love" even those who we may term not loveable (maybe because of how they abuse, despise, hate or treat us). If there is any love it encourages us to first receive, it is the love of God that gives us courage to truly love others.

When we speak of being the right person we speak of being a person who loves and for a person to love they have to have love in them (we can only give what we have, and that's why it's sad many can mostly give the pain they have received from men, which they continue to hold unto).

Most times love fades because most people don't have a strong enough conviction to continue to love. 1 John 4:19 says, "we love because God first loved us". When our conviction to love a person is based on having God's love in us, it beats every other reason to love because every other reason may fade but the true love of God which has no reason remains.

Recall this verse in scripture: Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1-2 (pointed in my previous posts)

So we imitate God in the way he loves us, we become like him having the same spirit with him, the Holy Spirit (of which bears the fruit of love) which results in loving others the same way.

Let's look at the verses before Ephesians 5:1, which are Ephesians 4:30-31 that shed more light on loving like God:
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Now just before you start a relationship, you must develop a relationship with God which is only possible by having the Holy Spirit which enables our fellowship with God. Because it's through this relationship we learn to love practically. Just as children learn from their father, be children of God and learn from God and not children of the world, practising the ways shared in the earlier posts. Not many are blessed with parents with a wonderful relationship or are close to those who have such (but I advice you to be mentored by those who have lasting and loving relationships that are practical examples of God's word).

Having the Holy Spirit in us, defines us as children of God, he first makes us the right person before guiding us to another right person he has prepared. He makes us right by helping us get rid of past bitterness, anger, malice, things that usually become toxic in our new relationships. And helps us develop a kind and forgiving us, unlike the "expectationalist" mentality a lot enter new relationships with (comparing partners with their past EXs).

We don't have the power to always forgive or be consistently kind and understanding (this power comes when we have received the Holy Spirit). Unless we are so filled with God's love that we recognize that our deepest needs have already been met,
and we're no longer expecting another human being to "complete" us.
We will not be able to imitate God in our love
for others unless we know that we are blessed, valuable, and significant —that we are = loved. Our sense of being loved must not depend on this person liking us or that person coming through for us.

This is why the idea that having a great relationship is all about finding the right person is a lie. The key to developing a great relationship is becoming the right person.
It's only when we grasp that God's love for us is boundless that we have the capacity to be genuine givers in a relationship. If we don't have that, what do we do? We try to get approval. We try to perform. We try to win affection. We attempt to manipulate in order to get what we want.

Leslie Parrott said, "If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart and the lack of what you don't have. That relationship will end in disaster."

Allow me to paraphrase the Parrotts' statement. Any time you want to build intimacy with a person before your identity is fully in Christ and you know and feel secure and strong in him, you will be expecting that person to do something for you that he or she cannot do.

In other words, when your identity is in Christ, you don't need others the same way, you don't have to perform or pretend, and they don't have to come through in order for your ultimate needs to be met.

The world says, "Set your hope on this person to come through for you. Make this person the center of your existence." It doesn't work.

The problem is, that person is weak, imperfect, and needy, just like you and just like me. That person is going to blow it, right? It hurts, so what do we do? We retaliate, or we manipulate, or we blame. Because the world teaches us to expect from others what God alone can give us, we are unable to appreciate the very real (though limited) wonders of human love.

The key to lasting relationships is developing a relationship with God through Christ in such a way that you are secure in who you are in him. That allows you to be a giver and a real lover. If you do not get there (and there is some hard work involved to understand your identity in Christ, by the way), all your relationships will be handicapped. How do you get there? The first three chapters of Ephesians spell out the process. Until you establish an unshakable identity in Christ, every relationship will be an attempt to get something from that person to make you feel like you're okay. Some of us will manipulate, some of us will get overly attached and dependent, but all of us will produce dysfunctional relationships.

Before i post the next step, my question for you is what are you going to do? Are you going to stick with the somehow simple step from the worldly point of view or will go through the right and straight step of God's way to love?

If you desire the Holy Spirit do feel free to contact me. Remember starting with the Holy Spirit and having Godly and spiritual foundation is a sure first step even though there any formulas out there God's way is still the best to take because the way he will lead you will be unique to you (He knows us more than we know ourselves).

Good morning

Good morning

Good morning

A wrong way to Meet, Date and Marry

When anyone starts a relationship or heads to marriage by first building from the physical level to the spiritual level, which to them is marital vows in church, it usually ends in disaster or divorce.

Most youths start their approach of who to meet based on a person's physical appearance. For the men it's how small or big her breasts or hips are, or how pretty her face is, or slim her waist is. Same for the ladies as well how tall, how slender or big his body build, his firm arms etc.

If how he or she looks is good enough they move to the emotional stage and infatuation or what I call "a dream state" - where love is blind and causes people to fall in love only to open their eyes later with so many questions they should have first asked.

This kind of relationship focus on physical expressions of love, the emotions, and because of the intensity of positive feelings in this phase, the couple often avoids talking about the relationship itself. They are enjoying the emotions too much to talk about the relationship or where it is going.

You know there are people who enjoy sleep so much that even when they know they need to wake up, they refuse to wake up. Same with anyone who denies the fact they don't know where a relationship is heading but continue anyway.

This phase, precariously balanced on a physical foundation, also tends to be filled with mood swings. Wild adoration can be followed almost instantaneously by insane jealousy. Because so little is actually known about the other person, statements he makes or actions she does are interpreted by the other persons own experiences and attitudes.

At that stage there are already cracks which some who don't break up or wake up at this point continue to ignore and move into the introduction of friends and family, who begin to ask questions they should have asked each other.

As they enter the psychological phase of their relationship based on their physical and emotional chemistry, in this phase the stresses of life and the varied experiences created by the physical, emotional, and social aspects of the relationship create certain questions and needs in the relationship. It becomes time to talk about the future and explore in detail each other's personality and values. No matter how carefully they have guarded their character and personalities in the earlier phases of the relationship, time and closeness occasionally allow them to see the other as a "real" person. Flaws and potential problems begin to surface. The fragile nature of the relationship becomes clear. It doesn't take much for the relationship, balanced on such a small tip of physical attraction, to fall over and disintegrate.

Many at this point should or would pick a broken heart over a broken home but then when a couple reaches the point where they yearn for the relationship to last, or they become sufficiently afraid it might end if they don't do something to give it long-term stability, they enter a phase we'll call 'spiritual'.

They want a pastor, priest, or rabbi to confirm their union and make it official. In a pinch, even a judge will do. A lovely church festooned with candles and flowers and a ceremony filled with solemn words spoken before friends and family create a religious veneer that is supposed to declare to the world that this relationship will last forever.

A dream come true or a nightmare about to begin.

The extravagance of many weddings hides the sad truth that the couple at the altar is already in relational trouble. Many of them realized that their weddings had been unconscious, last-ditch efforts to save relationships that were already dying. They had been unable to handle all the complexity that was gradually crushing that initial carefree moment of "falling in love".

Instead of living in a daydream and following the same process all over again, where we begin by physical chemistry to emotions then we find ourselves at the altar or in need or spiritual help. Let's build from the right point and proper perspective which I would share later on that attraction is more important than looks, connection built via correct and consistent communication is more solid than just feelings and chemistry.

A spiritual component is the only foundation broad and strong enough to sustain the rest of the relationship. This spiritual component includes a clear understanding of God's entire prescription for love. And this three abide first faith, then hope and finally the greatest love.

When faith is not the foundation or the starting point of your love it will fall.

Wayne4uall:
Tanks

your welcome

Eulalia:
Nice one. Thanks.

your welcome

A wrong way to Meet, Date and Marry

When anyone starts a relationship or heads to marriage by first building from the physical level to the spiritual level, which to them is marital vows in church, it usually ends in disaster or divorce.

Most youths start their approach of who to meet based on a person's physical appearance. For the men it's how small or big her breasts or hips are, or how pretty her face is, or slim her waist is. Same for the ladies as well how tall, how slender or big his body build, his firm arms etc.

If how he or she looks is good enough they move to the emotional stage and infatuation or what I call "a dream state" - where love is blind and causes people to fall in love only to open their eyes later with so many questions they should have first asked.

This kind of relationship focus on physical expressions of love, the emotions, and because of the intensity of positive feelings in this phase, the couple often avoids talking about the relationship itself. They are enjoying the emotions too much to talk about the relationship or where it is going.

You know there are people who enjoy sleep so much that even when they know they need to wake up, they refuse to wake up. Same with anyone who denies the fact they don't know where a relationship is heading but continue anyway.

This phase, precariously balanced on a physical foundation, also tends to be filled with mood swings. Wild adoration can be followed almost instantaneously by insane jealousy. Because so little is actually known about the other person, statements he makes or actions she does are interpreted by the other persons own experiences and attitudes.

At that stage there are already cracks which some who don't break up or wake up at this point continue to ignore and move into the introduction of friends and family, who begin to ask questions they should have asked each other.

As they enter the psychological phase of their relationship based on their physical and emotional chemistry, in this phase the stresses of life and the varied experiences created by the physical, emotional, and social aspects of the relationship create certain questions and needs in the relationship. It becomes time to talk about the future and explore in detail each other's personality and values. No matter how carefully they have guarded their character and personalities in the earlier phases of the relationship, time and closeness occasionally allow them to see the other as a "real" person. Flaws and potential problems begin to surface. The fragile nature of the relationship becomes clear. It doesn't take much for the relationship, balanced on such a small tip of physical attraction, to fall over and disintegrate.

Many at this point should or would pick a broken heart over a broken home but then when a couple reaches the point where they yearn for the relationship to last, or they become sufficiently afraid it might end if they don't do something to give it long-term stability, they enter a phase we'll call 'spiritual'.

They want a pastor, priest, or rabbi to confirm their union and make it official. In a pinch, even a judge will do. A lovely church festooned with candles and flowers and a ceremony filled with solemn words spoken before friends and family create a religious veneer that is supposed to declare to the world that this relationship will last forever.

A dream come true or a nightmare about to begin.

The extravagance of many weddings hides the sad truth that the couple at the altar is already in relational trouble. Many of them realized that their weddings had been unconscious, last-ditch efforts to save relationships that were already dying. They had been unable to handle all the complexity that was gradually crushing that initial carefree moment of "falling in love".

Instead of living in a daydream and following the same process all over again, where we begin by physical chemistry to emotions then we find ourselves at the altar or in need or spiritual help. Let's build from the right point and proper perspective which I would share later on that attraction is more important than looks, connection built via correct and consistent communication is more solid than just feelings and chemistry.

A spiritual component is the only foundation broad and strong enough to sustain the rest of the relationship. This spiritual component includes a clear understanding of God's entire prescription for love. And this three abide first faith, then hope and finally the greatest love.

When faith is not the foundation or the starting point of your love it will fall.

Good afternoon

Good afternoon

Step 4: if Failure Occurs, Repeat Steps 1,2, and 3
Step 3 usually leads to failure, eventually and many get trapped in this bubble fantasy and repeat the same process that failed all over again.

The world's key to love is finding the right person. If your current relationship isn't working, if for some reason this person doesn't fulfill all your dreams and desires, if you're not exhilarated, then you must have the wrong person. He may have seemed to be the right one at the start, but the fact that the feelings have faded means that he wasn't actually the right person for you. Throw that one away and find a new one. When you do, repeat the same formula until you get it right.


The media distorted view of relationship has affected marriages in that the more influence media has in the lives of people over the decade the rapidly increasing number of divorces worldwide from a few millions in the 70's to tens of millions 20years after. If we were talking about a virus or infection, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) would be calling this a catastrophic epidemic.
Some ladies use novels as their preparatory books, African magic, Iroko and the rest to know how guys act, what to expect and how to react. Which offers no advantage whatsoever when you comparing the previous with no or low media influence our parents with ours we see that most marriages that occurred men were aged 23, 25 and barely reached 30 before marrying and most ladies were married even before 21. Now the current trend see men go past 25 and even clock late 30's before thinking of settling down, what about ladies? Well it's strange to still be a virgin(Virtue is more important) in their 20s even more strange to get married before 25, reason, is "why the rush?" Even at that age many are still not prepared.

Do you hear what this generation is
saying by their actions and sometimes admitting by their words?
• "I don't know if I believe in marriage."
• "I get close to someone, then the same thing always happens. I'm scared to death to make a commitment."
• "I don't know how marriage is supposed to work, but I know I grew
up in a family where it didn't."
• "I've got unresolved issues and unresolved pain and a lot of fear about relationships."
• "I want intimacy and I long to be connected with someone else, but my heart got ripped out and no one helped me cope with the pain. They said I'd get over it. Well, I'm not over it. I'm afraid to go into new relationships."

It doesn't get better because such model is now on social media, motivational speeches and posts all propagating a formula that doesn't work, either is doesn't lead to marriage or it results in a broken home.

Some are blessed by having great pastors who teaching the proper principles for relationship, whose marriage is an example for others both in purpose and in overcoming challenges. When you realize that you can cast a demon out of someone but when the person still lives under the institution of evil principles and practice those demons will return.

When anyone keeps feeding themselves with the wrong information, they would either lack a relationship or struggle with the ones they do have.

Now I will quote a scripture Romans 12:2 AMP:
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Step 4: if Failure Occurs, Repeat Steps 1,2, and 3
Step 3 usually leads to failure, eventually and many get trapped in this bubble fantasy and repeat the same process that failed all over again.

The world's key to love is finding the right person. If your current relationship isn't working, if for some reason this person doesn't fulfill all your dreams and desires, if you're not exhilarated, then you must have the wrong person. He may have seemed to be the right one at the start, but the fact that the feelings have faded means that he wasn't actually the right person for you. Throw that one away and find a new one. When you do, repeat the same formula until you get it right.


The media distorted view of relationship has affected marriages in that the more influence media has in the lives of people over the decade the rapidly increasing number of divorces worldwide from a few millions in the 70's to tens of millions 20years after. If we were talking about a virus or infection, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) would be calling this a catastrophic epidemic.
Some ladies use novels as their preparatory books, African magic, Iroko and the rest to know how guys act, what to expect and how to react. Which offers no advantage whatsoever when you comparing the previous with no or low media influence our parents with ours we see that most marriages that occurred men were aged 23, 25 and barely reached 30 before marrying and most ladies were married even before 21. Now the current trend see men go past 25 and even clock late 30's before thinking of settling down, what about ladies? Well it's strange to still be a virgin(Virtue is more important) in their 20s even more strange to get married before 25, reason, is "why the rush?" Even at that age many are still not prepared.

Do you hear what this generation is
saying by their actions and sometimes admitting by their words?
• "I don't know if I believe in marriage."
• "I get close to someone, then the same thing always happens. I'm scared to death to make a commitment."
• "I don't know how marriage is supposed to work, but I know I grew
up in a family where it didn't."
• "I've got unresolved issues and unresolved pain and a lot of fear about relationships."
• "I want intimacy and I long to be connected with someone else, but my heart got ripped out and no one helped me cope with the pain. They said I'd get over it. Well, I'm not over it. I'm afraid to go into new relationships."

It doesn't get better because such model is now on social media, motivational speeches and posts all propagating a formula that doesn't work, either is doesn't lead to marriage or it results in a broken home.

Some are blessed by having great pastors who teaching the proper principles for relationship, whose marriage is an example for others both in purpose and in overcoming challenges. When you realize that you can cast a demon out of someone but when the person still lives under the institution of evil principles and practice those demons will return.

When anyone keeps feeding themselves with the wrong information, they would either lack a relationship or struggle with the ones they do have.

Now I will quote a scripture Romans 12:2 AMP:
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Hmmm

Step 3: Fix Your Hopes and Dreams on This Person for Your Future Fulfillment

In the movies love vetoes every other decision. Brides and grooms are regularly left at the altar because their future mates have decided
to run off with someone else with whom they are "really in love."
Once you fall in love, in the Hollywood version, every other promise
you have made is null and void. You can't be held to any previous commitment. The person with whom you "fall in love" will become the object of your life, your future, your dreams, and your satisfaction. You have suddenly realized that he and he alone will make you complete.

He will make you whole. Life will have meaning like it never has before (except for all the other times you've been in love)

In fact, you will find yourself living and thinking the lines from your favorite songs:
"I don't know what I'd do without you" and "I can't go on without you, baby." Or always listening to certain songs to reinforce your fantasy.

You begin to believe you can't make it without him or
her. You constantly daydream about this person, writing perfect, romantic scripts about your future life together. You fully expect that this person will be able to meet your deepest longings and needs and
come through for you 100 percent of the time. Though we all intellectually know it is impossible, we have been subtly taught to base our future happiness on the unconscious expectation that finding the right person will solve all our problems.

Hollywood equates infatuation with love. This period of intense infatuation and supercharged emotions can last anywhere from six weeks to eighteen months. And when the feelings start to subside (as
they always do), we've been brainwashed to conclude that our love is
dying. The perfect partner turns out to have a flaw or two. He or she can't quite live up to our imagination. Relational conflict begins to raise its ugly head.
Dissatisfaction gradually erodes those once euphoric feelings. Disillusioned and discouraged, we begin to change our focus. As emotions wane and irritations arise, we start to blame our problems on the other person's inability to measure up.

Another failed step many repeat over and over again. Some think it's maybe spiritual husband or wive disturbing, yes there maybe cases like that but in this case it's the spirit from the movies and music seriously affecting you, affecting your expectations and even your decisions.

Step 3: Fix Your Hopes and Dreams on This Person for Your Future Fulfillment

In the movies love vetoes every other decision. Brides and grooms are regularly left at the altar because their future mates have decided
to run off with someone else with whom they are "really in love."
Once you fall in love, in the Hollywood version, every other promise
you have made is null and void. You can't be held to any previous commitment. The person with whom you "fall in love" will become the object of your life, your future, your dreams, and your satisfaction. You have suddenly realized that he and he alone will make you complete.

He will make you whole. Life will have meaning like it never has before (except for all the other times you've been in love)

In fact, you will find yourself living and thinking the lines from your favorite songs:
"I don't know what I'd do without you" and "I can't go on without you, baby." Or always listening to certain songs to reinforce your fantasy.

You begin to believe you can't make it without him or
her. You constantly daydream about this person, writing perfect, romantic scripts about your future life together. You fully expect that this person will be able to meet your deepest longings and needs and
come through for you 100 percent of the time. Though we all intellectually know it is impossible, we have been subtly taught to base our future happiness on the unconscious expectation that finding the right person will solve all our problems.

Hollywood equates infatuation with love. This period of intense infatuation and supercharged emotions can last anywhere from six weeks to eighteen months. And when the feelings start to subside (as
they always do), we've been brainwashed to conclude that our love is
dying. The perfect partner turns out to have a flaw or two. He or she can't quite live up to our imagination. Relational conflict begins to raise its ugly head.
Dissatisfaction gradually erodes those once euphoric feelings. Disillusioned and discouraged, we begin to change our focus. As emotions wane and irritations arise, we start to blame our problems on the other person's inability to measure up.

Another failed step many repeat over and over again. Some think it's maybe spiritual husband or wive disturbing, yes there maybe cases like that but in this case it's the spirit from the movies and music seriously affecting you, affecting your expectations and even your decisions.

Now if you watch movies especially Hollywood movies, and even Nollywood that tries to copy them at times you will notice their four basic steps, that lead to deep, intimate, sizzling relationships that will last forever.

Step 1: Find the Right Person

That's right. The key to love (according to them) is finding that one special person who
was made just for you. She's out there; you just have to find her.
Drive around. Hang out. Be on the lookout. The moment will come.
Do you remember the scene from the movie 'While You Were Sleeping' when Sandra Bullock finds her "right one" when he steps up to her subway counter and asks for a ticket to Connecticut? Then he gets knocked senseless, and while she's visiting him in the hospital she just happens to meet his brother who turns out to be her real "right one."

In Sweet November Keanu Reeves tries to cheat on his driver's exam, gets Charlize Theron in trouble, and meets the love of his life instead.
James Bond usually meets his "right ones" when they are trying to kill him.
Jennifer Lopez meets one Mr. Right when he saves her from being run over by a dumpster in one movie, then finds the love of her life when she's the maid cleaning up his hotel room in her next film.

Do you get the picture? Whether it's the movies and stars of today or the Clark Gables, Cary Grants, Marilyn Monroes, or Raquel Welches of the past, *the message is always the same. Finding the right person just happens!* It's wild, accidental, and you're helpless in the process.
Eventually you're going to meet the "right one." When you least expect it, expect it.

Yep right around the next corner you will find someone much better than anyone you have ever known. True love is mystical and magical. It's all about finding the right person. If it can happen to J. Lo, it can happen to you. Just keep looking.


There you have it the first step, well now we know why many say things like they are waiting for "the right one" it's usually movie and music motivated and they put on so much pressure waiting for some magic to happen and reveal "the right one". Now their next step >>>

Now if you watch movies especially Hollywood movies, and even Nollywood that tries to copy them at times you will notice their four basic steps, that lead to deep, intimate, sizzling relationships that will last forever.

Step 1: Find the Right Person

That's right. The key to love (according to them) is finding that one special person who
was made just for you. She's out there; you just have to find her.
Drive around. Hang out. Be on the lookout. The moment will come.
Do you remember the scene from the movie 'While You Were Sleeping' when Sandra Bullock finds her "right one" when he steps up to her subway counter and asks for a ticket to Connecticut? Then he gets knocked senseless, and while she's visiting him in the hospital she just happens to meet his brother who turns out to be her real "right one."

In Sweet November Keanu Reeves tries to cheat on his driver's exam, gets Charlize Theron in trouble, and meets the love of his life instead.
James Bond usually meets his "right ones" when they are trying to kill him.
Jennifer Lopez meets one Mr. Right when he saves her from being run over by a dumpster in one movie, then finds the love of her life when she's the maid cleaning up his hotel room in her next film.

Do you get the picture? Whether it's the movies and stars of today or the Clark Gables, Cary Grants, Marilyn Monroes, or Raquel Welches of the past, *the message is always the same. Finding the right person just happens!* It's wild, accidental, and you're helpless in the process.
Eventually you're going to meet the "right one." When you least expect it, expect it.

Yep right around the next corner you will find someone much better than anyone you have ever known. True love is mystical and magical. It's all about finding the right person. If it can happen to J. Lo, it can happen to you. Just keep looking.


There you have it the first step, well now we know why many say things like they are waiting for "the right one" it's usually movie and music motivated and they put on so much pressure waiting for some magic to happen and reveal "the right one". Now their next step

.

They should be enforcing laws that benefits the future of Nigeria, and the unborn generations to come.

Few subjects in life ignite as much passion and longing within us as our desire for love, our interest in sex, and our hope for enduring relationships. Regardless of our backgrounds, race, values, intelligence, or experience, we all long to be loved. Every human being on this planet craves to be that "cherished person" to someone else. In like manner, the mystery and the power of human sexuality
draw us like an invisible magnet into the world of relationships.

Put simply, we humans are relational beings. We were made by God to love and be loved.
We crave the intimacy, acceptance, security, and significance that flow when we bond in mind, heart, and body with a member of the opposite sex.

God who designed you to love and be loved has also provided specific wisdom and instructions to make that possible in your daily life. If you don't understand romantic relationships from God's perspective, you are destined to a life of severe disappointment and significant frustration.

I can certainly imagine a world in which children grow up surrounded by good examples of loving relationships. I can see mothers and fathers openly sharing affection, keeping love alive, and talking with their kids about every aspect of relationships. I can picture father-son and mother-daughter moments when they gradually share age-appropriate insights about love and sexuality. But did anything like that ever happen to you?
Did your mom or dad ever sit down with you and say, "This is how to build a healthy relationship with the opposite sex"?
Did wise and trusted adults ever tell you, "This is what sex is really all about" beyond the physical details you got in a ninth-grade health class?
Were you ever in a warm, positive, family conversation in which you heard, "This is why and how sex can be beautiful, good, and wonderful, but be careful, because this is how sex can be distorted and destructive"?
Did your parents ever have a discussion with you about how to build intimacy in a relationship through communication, commitment, and clear, shared goals?

The answer for most of us is no. No one ever gave us reliable guidelines for these personal areas of our lives.

Most of us learned about love, sex, and relationships through our culture. Our teachers, sadly, have been older teens who themselves came from dysfunctional homes. If that isn't enough, the media have sold us a false bill of goods with regard to the entire notion of love, sex, and relationships. After listening to thousands of songs and getting a daily dose of television, movies, and romance novels, our hearts and minds have been filled with false ideas about what love, sex, and relationships are all about.

You and I have spent countless hours singing along with popular songs, following television programs, and anticipating the next sequel of our favorite movie hero. In the process we have become unconsciously convinced that if we follow a simple, four-step approach to relationships, it will work out for us just like it works in the movies or like it says in the song.

How many of these people who sing these songs of love actually have true love in their lives or how about those who act those romantic folktales we fall in love with? When did all these become a standard formula for true love? When it is said follow the example and advice of those who succeed and not of those who fail? Why then is the worldly way of relationship practiced more than the biblical way?

The worldly way and formula promises that you can be deeply loved, have awesome sex, and walk into the sunset with another person for life if you simply do what happens in the movies.


I will be posting the Bollywood, Nollywood, Hollywood and Movie propagated formula before going into the biblical way, because if we first do not realize what we have subconsciously been practicing and admit how wrong they were we won't be able to properly put to practice the gospel truth of true love.

contact me to join a biblical teaching group on relationships the way God intended.