₦airaland Forum

Jade William: The 2nd Victim's girlfrnd is a typical example of "if u walk wit a gangstar or drug Lord,get ready 2b gunned down anytym cos those who're afta dem wil get 2u one way or d other;as a revenge or as a mssg 2dem or while tryin 2get 2dem. Dat lady was so excited abt her new implants but was unfortunate not 2hav lived 2enjoy dem.Hugo dem were smart enuf 2hav discarded their fingers but her implant helped dem prosecute Hugo&Adrian.
Stupid Paul dat gav his toe 2a dog.Dumba*s crackhead

Hehehe

Here are some classic examples from good old British broadcasting:
1. Michael Buerk, as he watched Phillippa Forrester cuddle up to a
male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only
come in his shorts."
2. Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel
on 'This Morning': "She was practising fastest finger first on her
own in bed last night."
3. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night
like this."
4. Carenza Lewis, about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time
Team Live', said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
5. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
have snowed and hadn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" (The weatherman and half the crew were so helpless with laughter they had to leave the set.)
6. Our best source, as ever, is the sports programme... Bobby
Simpson, commenting on cricketer Neil Fairbrother's shot: "With his
lovely soft hands, he just tossed it off."
7. Mike Hallett, discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he
gets."
8. Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on
World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wishes he had a hard on now."
9. 'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
10. Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
11. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open (an old favourite):
"Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do
it by himself."
12. James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
13. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
14. Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for
a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about
coming from different positions."
15. US PGA Commentator:
"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that,
before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .....
Oh my god, what have I just said?!"
16. Metro Radio: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
17. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 (the
most famous of all?): "Ah, isn't that nice? The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
18. New Zealand Rugby Commentator:
"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
19. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator:
"And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this
morning and it was amazing!"
Hope you enjoyed them guys.

.... so i preformed a factory reset on a Samsung Hercules. After which i noticed, that some files(a music folder in particular) in the external sd card were invisible(not hidden). Please how do I get these files back?

These are genuine extracts from letters sent to a council
housing office. There are double entendres galore but the
senders wrote their words in all innocence.


Lady tenant complaining about DIY repairs next door:
"He has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole
house and I just can't take it any more."


Problems with the garden foilage:
"My bush is really overgrown round the front and my
back passage has fungus growing in it"


Noisy neighbours:
"... and their 18 year old son is continually banging his
balls against my fence."


"I want to complain about the farmer across the road;
every morning at 6 a.m. his cock wakes me up and it's
now getting too much for me."


"I am a single woman living in a downstairs
apartment and would you please do something about
the noise made by the man on top of me every night."


Dangerous paths:
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle badly;
then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."


"Will you please send someone to mend the garden
path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now
she is pregnant."


Repairs needed:
Send a man round with a big tool to finish the job and
satisfy my wife.


"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six
times but I still have no satisfaction."


Often in life we send people the wrong message or
messages without realising we are doing so.

Paul Doyle: "Jesus Christ has blessed me with many gifts. One of them is knocking someone the fvck out!"... Hehehe. That part cracked me up.. Its a nice movie & a sad story too.. I like Daniel Lugo for his cockiness, if only he had applied it on sth legal or righteous & not fraud.

lalaosky: Fùck you death, you're so partial. The people that deserve to die are out there after directly or indirectly taking people's life, living the good life and the innocent ones are dying.

Pal, don't think of it that way. Just think of Vivian's demise as leaving early to avoid the rush. GOD in heaven knows best.

This is sad. She had been so unattainable - so young, so much a citizen of a different era - that it is hard to feel fully deprived. Farewell vivianc.

One day, the Pope is visiting America and driving around Washington in his limo when he gets an idea.
"Driver? Can I drive for a while?"
"Sure," says the driver. How can you say no to the Pope?
So the Pope takes the wheel and starts driving like a maniac all around Washington -- dodging in and out of traffic, going eighty, cutting people off. Soon, a cop pulls him over. But when the Pope rolls down the window, the cop stops dead in his tracks, and goes back to the car.
"We got somebody really important here," he says to his partner.
"Who is it? Is it a senator?"
"No. More important."
"The president?"
"No. More important."
"An ambassador? Who?"
"I don't know. But the Pope is his driver."

noblezone: There is going to be crises in "Abuja".
"Abuja" here is symbolic as the seat of power.
In the heat of that crises, Biafra will emerge.

Funny enough, the emergence of Biafra would be a smaller issue compared to the "Abuja" crises.

This is all I can say for now.

Post marked forever

secondbona: how to upgrade internal phone memory from 1gb to 32gb on android

LOL.... Post of the day.

Strong - London Grammar

Best 2013 movies that i've watched so far.. Gravity, World war z, Kick ass 2, Pain & gain, The great Gatsby, Monsters university, The heat. The Gravity movie is sooo daaammmn!

Jade William: I love Army wives;mordern family;Game of thrones;scandal;Grey's Anatomy;Private Practice;Cougar Town;
Fringe was ok.Managed 2watch it but season 5 was crap.
The Borgias is good just lik Tudors but none of dem beat "Rome" in my opinion.
I'm still missing Desparate housewives

So so loved The Event; Dirty Sexy Money.&No Ordinary family.Was sad d 3 shows got cancelled.

I also enjoyed watchin One three Hill;OC;Gossip girls;Lost;Prison Break;The Unit;The Shield;Kyle XY;Heroes&Smallville; wen I was in school.

I'v not seen True blood;vampire diaries;supernatural cos I'm not really in2 adventure/sci-fi&vampire films or films where ppl hav abilities though I enjoyed 4400.

Havn't seen "Touch" cos frm d advert,I don't knw wot d serie wil b al abt.I watch LawℴCSI;perception;body of evidence&Mentalist on DSTV but its not d kind of series I'l lose sleep 2watch cos I'm not 2 into cop movies except BLUE BLOOD(so good).24 was good too
Heard The game;Covert Affairs;person of interest;Burn Notice&single ladies ar good too but I'm yet 2watch dem

I still haven't completed Grey's Anatomy. Rome is super-interesting. Miss Desperate Housewives too

Has anyone watched Louie? Christ! Dat's one funny TV series.

Some people dull shaa

Nmeri17: Pls do i need to root my phone before i can use the airtel bis on it


does anyone know of an app that can act as a recycle bin? How come none of the earlier posters mentioned next launcher in their list of 3d wallpapers??

Install Dumpster. Its a recycle bin kinda app

Lesson Of The Day: Mind your Goddamn business.

How I learned:
I was walking pass a mental hospital the other day, and i heard people inside the hospital compound shouting..."13 ... 13... 13". The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little hole in the planks to peep through, so I peeped through to see what was going on. Some id!oT poked me in the eye with a stick... then they all started shouting ... "14... 14... 14"...
If only i had not peeped.

The art of rap is deceptive. It seems so straightforward and personal and real that people read it completely literally, as raw testimony or autobiography. And sometimes the words we use, nigga, bitch, motherfucker, and the violence of the images overwhelms some listeners. It's all white noise to them till they hear a bitch or a nigga and then they run off yelling "See!" and feel vindicated in their narrow conception of what the music is about. - Jay-Z

I think he said it all..

Abeg make he go sidon one place!

nani.666:
my play store and Google now is not loading... telling me “no connection ”... even my hangouts isn't connected.... all my Google apps dey misbehave..... anyone else currently having the same issue ...?

use guerrillamail

Breezy90: Joystick

yeah J-O-Y-S-T-I-C-K

I told my doctor my joystick was as thin as a spaghetti noodle. I
asked if there was anything I could do to bulk it up, and he said,
“Yeah, tell your girl to twirl it on a fork before she puts it in her
mouth.”

Oh please!

dika-man01:
please experts i need to use mtn bis with droid vpn on icmp port......how can i do this....i need ur help

Where's this dude from?

OP are yu thirsty?

Homer: Awww, twenty dollars… I wanted a peanut!
Homer’s brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer’s brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

...Mehn I love "The Simpsons" (¯▼¯)

iCame. iSaw. iRead. iShook my head. iLeft.

SimonAndal: _

Thanks, it automatically hides the notification bar on all screens to give you a fullscreen experience.

Themer launcher right?

:-)

SimonAndal:
BReaking BAd on my Galaxy Mega 5.8, yo!

Wicked!