₦airaland Forum

Hello Nairalanders,

I once said I will be giving a brief summary of my journey so far living with HIV. I made an initial post but deleted most of it because it was too long. I’ll try run through my journey here, the difference between Naija and the US (which is where I reside) and maybe things I would have done differently back home.

I realized I was positive in 2008. That was while still in 2nd year in the university, I won’t go into details how I felt, but what led to me privately going for a HIV test was because I had chronic headaches while in campus, infact I went home and told my parents I had migraine, we went to different hospitals and of course paid bills and got pills for migraine, when I went back to school, it continued. I tried with several pills to sure that but on doing a couple of research, I thought I should go for a hiv test, I went and then was positive. I informed my parents immediately that my migraine is gone (lol) because they kept asking how I was doing, they thought I should return maybe after 3 months to go for another general examination but because I now know what’s up, I told them I’m good.

I went to one Catholic confession because I was not sure who to tell, I don’t trust anyone including my sisters, that means I had all the secret myself. When I told the priest, he then asked me to wait after and directed me to a clinic at FMC Umuahia. My first visit there, I was not asked to start Antiretrovirals because my viral load is still above 500, what I was given was just septrin (I learnt it’s mostly to prevent cough, that’s the most deadly thing that can reduce positive person instantly).

I managed my viral load for almost 2 years until I moved from Abia to Abuja. In Abj, every positive person have to start taking Antiretroviral so I started taking that (one pill a day). Even at that time, I never told anyone, I fought and got a visa to move out of Naija and it’s been stressless all these years in the states.
Here are the disadvantages:

1. Visiting FMC Umuahia was horrible, there is confidentiality in terms of files and others. The nurses are terrible, once I get there on my scheduled appointment (of course with maybe 70-100 other people), I’ll sit at the back and they have to scream when they are calling names and everyone will turn to see who the person is. I know we all there are positive but at least respect me for once.

2. Because I wanted to be discreet which eventually paid off (please tell people you trust if you have to, me being discreet was tasking, I wish I had the courage to talk but sadly I don’t trust anyone), I had to hide my drugs, I haven’t seen something so hard in my life, because I have to take it daily, I usually have a cup for a month and then hide the other two months surplus. At the same time, I was scared someone may see it.

3. Even when I became undetectable (can’t transmit HIV), I was still too careful when dealing with people, it took me time to finally loosen up. A lot changed about me, I became very quiet most times, lost interest in a lot of things and questioned certain things as well.

4. Relationships became a huge task for me, infact I stop wooing babes, I’ve always wanted to date so as to lead to something but again I thought of a time I have to have this conversation on me being positive, that discouraged me a lot. Even though I can’t transmit, my mental state still shielded me from it all.

4. I hated taking pills but because I need to make sure I stay undetectable, it’s now a norm for me, one pill a day and that’s it. But this only happened because of my first visit to Umuahia, I thought I will see a few people there, but I was wrong. I saw people living with HIV for almost 40 years, people come with old family members to pick their pills and infact the look on their faces too seem like nothing is wrong, l loud and happy while I sat in the corner filled with thought. Again I saw people too who never took either never took their drugs or didn’t find out early they are positive therefore have very low viral load and have been attacked my illnesses or have lost so much weight. They are there to pick drugs too and keep trying. I learnt in most cases, some survive as well but sadly others won’t make it. After my second visit and research, I knew it nothing at all if I take my pill.

A different world Living in US:
1. Drugs remain free and infact delivered to my address once in 3 months.

2. I still continued my routine test free of charge to ensure I remain undetectable.

3. The amount of confidentiality is second to none (OMG), any health practitioner dealing with you is very careful to ensure he/she or the organisation don’t get sued so you are covered. Infact you come to the hospital like others and mixed with other people who came for different things (unlike Umuahia) where anyone walking into that part of the building is already known to be positive.

4. People are very open with being positive in US, people are well learned about HIV and already aware all they need is to be undetectable and that’s it unlike back home where majority will stigmatize when they hear “he/she has hiv” when it takes them just 10 seconds to google and learn more about it (knowledge is power).

Finally, since the 14 years (from the time I knew I was positive), I’ve only lost one girl I met at the clinic, I confirmed this from her Facebook account, I knew she probably will not find it funny because at the time I started conversing with her and others, she works for a firm in PH and lived with her Uncle who had kids, so she sometimes leaves her pills (so they won’t know) and can go weeks without taking it. I was scared for her because what anyone wouldn’t want to do is to have a “hiv drug resistance”.

Stop stigmatization, if someone is able to inform you about their status, let them know you are educated about this and inform them to stay undetectable.

Alert: I have never had fever or any serious health related issue since those years and I’m glad I pulled through this. Till date, no family or friend is aware.

I will finally start informing my siblings soon, at least telling them then will be a shock to them because we’ve all lived those years and they didn’t notice a thing and I’m already in control of my life.

HIV is not death sentence.

Be kind and Be blessed once again…. peace

It’s a job not their family business, send a query and copy those that needed to be copied. They will either sit up or resign. Let the query be kind, remind them that “ we can only achieve more when we work together” Thunder fire their black yansh

I saw that picture, it’s clearly not photoshopped and I don’t think that man can stand properly, there is nothing wrong with aging. Tinubu have achieved alot, he should go and rest. He should forget about the presidency and focus on his health

I don’t know why this seem normal at all. I can’t still wrap my head around it honestly. Northern youths wake up!!! Reject your bloodsucking leaders, no one deserves this.

golbe1972:
With deep pain in my heart I'm crying out for justice and help from all those who can help me locate my son .

The last time I saw my son was when he was two years old before the mother eloped with him. His name is Nelson Raymond but I heard they've changed his name to ADEWALE.

The woman in question is from a popular Kotun family in Lagos. I was literally slap on the face due to my financial incapability. The woman's name is RONKE KOTUN, heard she's married to one Mohammed.

I was deprived access to my son because I'm not a Muslim and she thought I would influence the boy from turning away from Islam if I should be in his life. The last time I managed to get her contact she boasted that I'm nobody in Lagos and can't take her anywhere. I contacted the Justice court for mediation but we couldn't locate her to serve her an invitation.

Please I'm using this medium to reach out to anyone with useful information on how to track her. I contacted a family member of hers who claimed he doesn't know where she lives, yet he kept collecting money from me under the pretence of helping to locate my son.

It's really depressing as this is my only child and I'm not getting any younger and with underlining medical conditions which makes me think I might never see my son again before my time comes.

Please this is a plea of a helpless man seeking for justice.

Do a good TikTok video and post it online. Your son will find you

tankoagaie:
she is just crying and demanding for a divorce and as a Muslims she don't have right to divorce me unless she go to court of law,and i just realize that she is hiding something,that the dicission is not from her because she can't be crying while seeking for a divorce and nothing is wrong between us,so i question her and she later tell me that is her mom that want her to go out of my house because she (mom)will never be happy with her until she break the marriage and she can not bear the pressure because she can not even sleep nor eat,


so please advice

If you can’t convince her to stay, let her go. Do you two have kids and all? She just doesn’t want to be with you, a woman that wants you will stay regardless. Free her and move on with you life. If you have kids together yet, that’s where it can get a little complicated.

Babaken:
Southern will be there fighting themselves.

I tire

I’m Igbo, I raise hand for Northern Nigeria, this is the easiest way to install Atiku if he works hand in hand with Buhari. Chai this Nigeria is just a lot of Cruise.

chatinent:
What if they married for love and not all these assumptions?

I still stand on never trust a lying woman… Love is not enough

She agreed to marry you because she want to answer “married woman” not that she’s into you or ready. She hasn’t grown yet, calling her mum and recording you also, then lying and admitting when caught. One year is so short, you should check if you have to leave especially if you don’t have kids yet. Never trust a lying woman. Never

omoharry:
The women we elect into office become a nuisance to the very people that voted them in.Have you taken statistic of most of our women in politics..Only two i could pick that did well.Dora Akinyuli and Obi Ezekwesili..The rest..either getting involve in one corrupt cases to the other or are a pain in our ass..aka..The stupid Lauretta Anochie..what ever her name is .

You mentioned 2 out of the very few who ever held and office, the amount of women in political positions in Nigeria is less than 10 percent but you found 2, now mentioned 2 out of the 80 percent that ever held an office. Also you missed someone in my federal constituency that I feel is working as needed. Mention two men

Bahamas95:
Even women will not vote for a fellow woman because of jealousy.


Abeg make we manage our men.

Thats why the men will keep recycling themselves, have you tried them yet?

The mentality of the replies under this thread shows there is no hope at all for most of you. The disgust y’all have for women taking elective positions, this is 2022, open your eyes. Women are excelling beyond your reach and giving them a chance is a great idea.

They’ve started doing studio shots and packaging, make una give us someone else ejoor because this next suffer no go easy. Buhari is silent and arrogant but this dude is loud and so arrogant. He will so deal with y’all and still verbally say it and allow you to do your worst.

If you want to stick to the southwest, there are prestigious and vibrant heads like Adeshina Akinwunmi at least instead of pinning us all to his old man…. Todays stomach infrastructure will affect the future of our kids, let’s learn from the past my people.

They’ve started doing studio shots and packaging, make una give us someone else ejoor because this next suffer no go easy. Buhari is silent and arrogant but this dude is loud and so arrogant. He will so deal with y’all and still verbally say it and allow you to do your worst.

If you want to be tribalistic, we have Adeshina Akinwunmi at least instead of pinning us all to his old man

She can’t do anything to change his mind until he’s ready to accept that he has an ant di(k, he’s obviously a clow.n so he may not understand what DNA test is either. So she’s on her own

You thought your wife haven’t had sex in 7 months? You are really a simp. Keep jerking off bruh, she married you to just answer a married woman, you don’t satisfy her and as she said, you already irritate her, she’s getting it from somewhere….

ogbesvee:
Germany or Canada... WHICH IS EASIER TO SURVIVE IN.

no even think am, Canada is less racist and more comfortable

Too bad

Cashsteady:
Shatta wale wouldn't be saying nonsense about Nigerians if our artist doesn't go to Ghana to live.. seriously what's so special about the so small country... The. More you keep going there to live the more they keep feeling big..


There are lot of better estates with good houses in Lagos here that you can live with peace of mind.. stop going to Ghana to embarrass yourself..


Literally almost all Nigerian artist are now based in Ghana which is really embarrassing.




If it's not west Europe or North America I would rather die in Nigeria.

By your logic, if an American artist abuses Nigerian celebs, then the celebs should stop going to America to live? Isn’t this why they said most of you are so dull? So unintelligent

Omg, he entirely needs help, how can he look at these old pictures and not seek help though?

Lasisieniola77:
Hello nairalands, i am so confuse right now. I just want to transistion into IT and i am confused between learning data science or becoming a software developer. I am so confuse. Help me to decide. I don't want to learn something that is not in demand. Which one is better

you see that soft developer? Choke inside, never seen a job so flexible, IT is so large and you can work anywhere once you learn to simply code.

2023 is warming up. Who are you people projecting to lead? Power must not leave the North even at the detriment of our souls. Una Weldone oh.

What can you even do with this one, she’s just worthless already with an evil heart. This is so painful

Good one from him, every damn penny counts, he can easily not give them and nothing will happen. He represents just a local government but chose to spread across his Federal Constituency(Probably going to pursue Federal House of Representatives soon “smart azz”)He’s made their ember month and I believe they will be proud he did. Kudos

We know the outcome, what’s the point? Come out and do the presidents biding… rubber stamp mf

Are you stylishly trying to tell us to embrace our true religion? Tell us directly and stop going through corners…They even have a dibia in the procession..

olawalepopoola:
Good day all
I will like to know how many weeks the Anglican Church of Nigeria approved for the Dead to be buried after his/demise.
Thank you.

I think it depends on the diocese, mine is 3 weeks else the person will not be brought to church, someone like a catechist will go to their house and bury the person instead

She’s pregnant, take a look at her swollen left hand. Can tell you that for free

Why is she hiding her face? Thought she has no shame?

jetwonder:
The right choice!!!

Trying to run a horrible campaign, your party is in power and destroying the country, you are campaigning for OUK and one of your bullet points says “to fix Nigeria” and “to salvage the economy”. God forbid bad thing for all these useless people pushing these old bums to rule them again. You people will suffer