₦airaland Forum

NICOGRAVITY:
Remembered a babe that was sleeping in class and gave out a loud fart.
The entire class including the lecturer burst out laughing until it started smelling, everyone left the class, lecture ends.
Babe woke up asking what's happening?

I smell lies!!!

Ladies, skip the cardio bikes and pick up the dumbbells instead.

Here are reasons why:

1. women can get toned and in shape by doing some heavy lifting.

2.weight loss:
Yeah, you're probably worried about bulking up. While women can bulk up, it only happens in rare cases. "Women naturally have difficulty putting on muscle mass because of the lack of the muscle-building hormone, testosterone.

Women looking to lose weight should start to lift weights. Weight lifting adds muscle and boosts the body's metabolic rate, which ends up burning more calories throughout the day.
Adding muscles helps to shape out the body giving it a more fit appearance, while cardio only makes your unfit body smaller. For example, if you have a plum-shaped body, cardio will only turn you into a smaller plum.

Other benefits of lifting weights includes

3. increased mobility

4. preventing muscle loss

5. fixing posture

6. alleviating back pain.

7. boosts your metabolism

There’s a catch, though; Women should lift heavy. Lifting 3 pound dumbbells isn't going to cut it; you need to lift strong to look strong.....well not too heavy though(maka Ndu gi)

We all have had embarrassing moments in our lives.

Some of them may have happened at home or out on the streets but the worst ones are always reserved for the classroom.

Here is a list of some of the common classroom embarrassments that you or people you know may have faced.

1. Getting caught while sleeping

This is on top of our embarrassing stories simply because all of us faced it at least once.
Be it a hang over, or you read throughout the night or simply because the lecture is too boring, what’s awkward is getting caught by the lecturer while you are happily dreaming and drooling.

2. Confidently answering the question wrongly

Sometimes the teacher asks a question and you answer it like a boss, thinking that you know exactly what you’re talking about. But as it turns out, you showed that confidence for nothing, because surprise-surprise – you couldn’t be more wrong! And the teacher then proceeds to make an example out of you in order to illustrate how wrong you are.

3. Getting caught while passing chits

Passing chits was the most common method of conversation in classrooms in the pre-mobile era. Thinking that you’re too smart to get caught, you pass chits, when suddenly a hand grabs that chit and the teacher then reads it out for the benefit of the entire class. Leaving you mortified in front of the entire class!

4. Farting loudly

After a long stint in the toilet hours before lecture or probably you think everything is fine in the world just then, your body decides to play a joke on you and you rip a loud one right in the middle of the class. What’s worse is when it stinks and everyone knows you did it.

5. Wardrobe malfunction

You are highly mistaken if you thought that wardrobe malfunctions were just limited to red carpets or fashion runways. Most classrooms have seen more than their fair share of trousers ripping, buttons popping, and bra straps snapping randomly. For some reason, these situations have an uncanny way of happening only when you are giving presentations in front of the whole class. And if you thought that nothing can make it more embarrassing, think again. Imagine any of these happening in front of your crush!

6.Walking in late for a lecture

Just when you think you've strolled in unnoticed, the lecturer decides to embarrass you by popping a question just to tell the class he can't be fooled. Worse off, you fail the question and he still sends you out of the class amid insults.

Looking back at some of these situations may have made you want to crawl under a rock and just stay there for eternity. But now these incidents are long gone and you can afford to laugh at them. Even we want to laugh with you, so please do share with us some of your embarrassing moments.

Fash20:
US is no more the biggest economy in the world. Soo this article is trash. NEXT

Google is your friend unlike Nigerian police.
Use it.

Morinho has won a match in St.James Park.

See the list:

1. Qatar – Richest Country in the World and in Asia


With a population of around 1.9 million and GDP equal to $182 Billion, Qatar is the world’s richest country. It lies in the Persian Gulf and it is a peninsula. It lies in the Middle East and is richest Arab country in the world. Saudi Arabia lies to its south. The economy of this country is entirely dependent on Petroleum as it contributes nearly 85% of export earnings.(Naija where are youu?)
Banking and Tourism are other areas where Qatar generates money. The current GDP of Qatar surpasses all the other countries in the world and is $102,768.69. Thus we can see that the size of the country does not matter when it comes to wealth and that even a small a nation can aspire to be the richest in the world

2. Luxembourg – Richest Country in Europe

Capital City: Luxembourg
Holding the title of the wealthiest country in Europe, Luxembourg is much famous as a tax heaven. Many billionaires from around the globe reside in this country to save themselves from taxes in their homeland. It is the second richest country in the world. With a population of just around half million, it has striking contrast of green pastures of land alongside the industrialized city. It lies in Europe and is headed by a Grand Duke. Banking, Steel Industry and telecommunications contribute heavily to its wealth.

3) Singapore
Capital City: Singapore
Located in Southeast Asia and comprising of 63 islands, Singapore is a fully island country. On this list of top 10 wealthiest nations, it ranks third. It is one of the largest financial centers in the world and along with Taiwan, Hong Kong and South Korea, it forms the Four Asian Tigers. Its population is around 5.5 millions with majority of them practicing Buddhism.

4) Norway
Capital City: Oslo
A country with roughly 5 million people, Norway, coupled with high GDP and comparatively low population, it is one of the richest countries on Earth. Sharing its border with Finland, Sweden and Russia, it is a developed country. The economy of this rich nation depends on oil and natural gas reserves which is found around it.

5) Hong Kong SAR
Another fifth world’s richest nation
Lying on China’s South coast, Hong Kong is the fifth country in this list based on per capita income. It has a high GDP and it is a leading financial destination in the world as well as in Asia. It is a specially administrated region with its own currency but defense services from China.

6) Brunei Darussalam
Capital: Bandar Seri Begawan
Located in Southeast Asia, Brunei generates its revenues from crude oil and natural gas exports. Revenues from petroleum contribute around 90% of its GDP. With a small population of less than half-a-million, Brunei is one of the least densely populated country in the world. Its sultan is one of the richest people in the world.

7) United States of America
Capital: Washington DC
This country needs no introduction. The most powerful country in the world and the most powerful economy in the world, United States (US) leads the globe in science and technology and nearly in every research field which can be thought of. It is the largest exporter of weapons and also other goods and services. This rich country in the world has a GDP of around 15 trillion US Dollars which makes it the richest and biggest economy in the world. It is one of the wealthiest economy on planet Earth. On the American continent, this country is second to none. Thus it is also the richest country in the American continent (North as well as South America). This country is also the largest manufacturer in the world and the leading financial nation.

If you don't experience this you can't tell how painful it can be.
Share your worries.

Dysmenorrhea is the medical term for the painful cramps that may occur immediately before or during the menstrual period.

There are two types of dysmenorrhea:

1).primary dysmenorrhea and
2).secondary dysmenorrhea.

Primary dysmenorrhea is another name for common menstrual cramps. Cramps usually begin one to two years after a woman starts getting her period. Pain usually is felt in the lower abdomen or back. They can be mild to severe.
Common menstrual cramps often start shortly before or at the onset of the period and continue one to three days. They usually become less painful as a woman ages and may stop entirely after the woman has her first baby.

Secondary dysmenorrhea is pain caused by a disorder in the woman's reproductive organs. These cramps usually begin earlier in the menstrual cycle and last longer than common menstrual cramps

.
What Are the Symptoms of Menstrual Cramps?

The symptoms of menstrual cramps include:

*.Aching pain in the abdomen (Pain can be severe at times.)
*.Feeling of pressure in the abdomen
*. Pain in the hips, lower back, and inner thighs

What Causes Common Menstrual Cramps?

Menstrual cramps are caused by contractions in the uterus, which is a muscle. The uterus, the hollow, pear-shaped organ where a baby grows, contracts throughout a woman's menstrual cycle. If the uterus contracts too strongly, it can press against nearby blood vessels, cutting off the supply of oxygen to the muscle tissue of the uterus. Pain results when part of a muscle briefly loses its supply of oxygen.

How Can I Relieve Mild Menstrual Cramps?

To relieve mild menstrual cramps:

*.Take aspiri nor another pain reliever, such as Tylenol( acetaminophen), Motrin( ibuprofen) or Aleve( naproxen).(Note: For best relief, you must take these medicationsas soon as bleeding or cramping starts.)

*.Place a heating pad or hot water bottle on your lower back or abdomen. Taking a warm bath may also provide some relief.

To relieve menstrual cramps, you should also:

*.Rest when needed.
*.Avoid foods that contain caffeineand salt.
*.Avoid smoking and drinking alcohol.
*. Massage your lower back and abdomen.

If these steps do not relieve pain, your health care provider can order medications for you, including:


When a woman has a disease in her reproductive organs, cramping can be a problem. This type of cramping is called secondary dysmenorrhea. Conditions that can cause secondary dysmenorrhea include:

*. Endometriosis, a condition in which the tissue lining the uterus (the endometrium) is found outside of the uterus
*. Pelvic inflammatory disease, an infection caused by bacteria that starts in the uterus and can spread to other reproductive organs
*.Stenosis (narrowing) of the cervix, the lower part of the uterus (the hollow, pear-shaped organ where a baby grows), often caused by scarring
*.Tumors (also called "fibroids", or growths on the inner wall of the uterus

Goodluck!

Was marriage ever in the picture?

The typical Nigerian lady regardless of age want to remain married. Unless it never existed.

No disrespect to 'em ladies; just irritated.

Recently, on countless occasion, ladies keep falling prey to this over-rated illusion, "marriage"

# I know a lot of friend's friends who are currently pregnant and leaving with a guy. Married? You bet.

# A lady apparently willing to get pregnant; a prerequisite the guy presented before he can propose.

# A lady physically abuse, yet willing to stay put and craving to hear those words, "will you marry me". Why? Biological clock is ticking.

I really don't blame anyone but the parents and our culture. From day one, these people prepare and mount pressure on young girls, allegedly preparing for marriage.

It is an axiomatic fact that only the female folk bear the illustrious title Chief (Mrs), Dr. (Mrs), Engineer(Mrs) and even Magistrate(Mrs). Mrs. Somebody(unfortunately, who? matters less). Have you ever seen Dr.(Mr) and stuffs like that.

Sit close to a lady for 10 minutes, check well, 9 minutes must have been spent discussing marriage related issues.

Tell me why they won't be gullible to the ever ambitious Naija guys who use these ladies as pawn.

Take your pick, he either dupes you or uses you. N. B, there are good men out there.. .oh!

Ladies, guys are getting smart, you really have to gird your loins.

All this marriage is sef!!!

Let's focus on more important things please.

5minsmadness:
Wow.
Fgm was popular like 10yrs ago. I doubt if it's still popular now. The campaign against it was really aggressive and I'm of the opinion that, apart for a few rare occasions here and there, it has been effectively wiped out.

For the pressing thing, I've heard of it too. Even last year. Does that count as Fgm?

There are four types of FGM, the fourth type includes every other harm to a female's external Instruments apart from the other 3 types.

pet4ril:
Thanks, even with all these harms is causing them, they will never see anything wrong with it... especially the norths and south. .parents please save the innocent child the stress of this FGM

The campaign is indeed aggressive; I can't say same for the response.

Aitee1:
People still do it especially the igbos, they believe it present makes the girl child promiscuous, all they need is enlightenment, they need to know the harm caused by such act!

More like it.

5minsmadness:
No kidding. Where do you practice?

read the article well sir!

5minsmadness:
Have u seen any recent ones?

I've seen and heard a lot actually.

5minsmadness:
Is female genital mutilation still carried out? I doubt it. Maybe in some remote areas in the north.

Really

'Madam, leave me alone', I found myself shouting.
'You want to run eh', she quipped, tightening her grip.

My white and neatly iron ward coat bore the brunt of a 'crime' I didn't know when and where it was committed.

Feeling embarrassed and irritated, I struggled to no avail to free my little self. Thankfully, I was the only one in the Labour room then. My 'usual keep it formal' with all patients was at stake.
'Be empathic and nothing more', I found myself repeating those words but within, I was not even close.

'Madam, you're 4cm dilated and at this rate, I will be dead before delivery. You can walk around a little, or do something else, besides, I have other patients to attend to', I told her as I made one last feeble effort to loosen her hold.

'You're not going anywhere until I see my baby', she retorted, apparently not ready to let go.

She indeed was in pain. The worst case I've seen. She lay on the couch tearing every fiber of her being and ripping her clothings to shreds.
Earlier, she seemed brave when she walked in with whom supposedly is her husband. She cheerfully relieved him of his duties; telling him she will call him to see the baby once it is out.




My first week at work, this can't be happening and this woman is sooooooo taking advantage of my 'need' to impress. I stood
there, helpless for hours . I pleaded with the seemingly irritated attending nurses to allow my tormentor have a field day and instructed them to monitor other patients progress.
I stared deep into her red glistening conjuctiva, cursing myself and swearing never to get to close to the overtly confident expectant mothers. Her husband, the culprit deserves a free day and I don't.

Her pains continued. I had to spare some thoughts for her, 'Madam, I' ll help you get through this.
Each contraction came with bouts of untold agony.

Ten hours later and she was still in labor. Just then, I noticed she was genitally mutilated. Obviously, it is beyond a superficial cut and there maybe scars and possibly, elements of narrowed birth canal.

Thankfully, she had a successful CS.
Her case is only but a tip of the ice berg of the dangers of female genital mutilation.


DISCUSSION

Female genital mutilation (FGM) comprises all procedures that involve partial or total removal of the external female Instruments, or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons(mostly cultural, religious, ethical, etc)

The practice is mostly carried out by traditional circumcisers, who often play other central roles in communities, such as attending childbirths.



Procedures
Female genital mutilation is classified into four major types.

Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).

Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are "the lips" that surround the vagina).

Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris.

Other: all other harmful procedures to the female Instruments for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.


No health benefits, only harm

FGM has no health benefits, and it harms girls and women in many ways. It involves removing and damaging healthy and normal female genital tissue, and interferes with the natural functions of girls' and women's bodies.

What are the complications

Immediate complications:
can include severe pain, shock, haemorrhage (bleeding), tetanus or sepsis (bacterial infection), urine retention, open sores in the genital region and injury to nearby genital tissue.

Long-term consequences can include:

recurrent bladder and urinary tract infections;
cysts;
infertility(inability to bear children);
an increased risk of childbirth complications and newborn deaths;
the need for later surgeries. For example, the FGM procedure that seals or narrows a vaginal opening (type 3 above) needs to be cut open later to allow for sexual intercourse and childbirth. Sometimes it is stitched again several times, including after childbirth, hence the woman goes through repeated opening and closing procedures, further increasing and repeated both immediate and long-term risks.


Who is at risk?

Procedures are mostly carried out on young girls sometime between infancy and age 15, and occasionally on adult women.

Relevance?

Unfortunately, many modern mothers and graduates still inflict this harm on their wards. Reason? I sincerely don't know. Apparently, people are seeking professional medical assistant to carry out this act.

Culled from a friend's diary.

My point exactly, no reading culture. The desire and hunger to know stuffs nko? For where....not when we have a fixated mentality. Illiteracy is rife; tribalism the other of the day.

God bless Naija

My goodness!!! And you're saying it with all boldness?

'you feeel awkward when your friends and their girls are getting pregnant and then abort' This is barbaric!

Pre-marital s*x is as bad as it is and then pregnancy? Don't even discuss abortion!
Thank God you've got only one problem(which is pre-marital s*x), stop indulging in it already! Whoever told guys that youu must engage in that and probably get. Her pregnant b4 marriage? Guys and especially ladies, where is our value system?

My advice: stop 'whatever' now. Concentrate on knowing each other. Your mind won't probably rest because you think something is wrong. You both can go check it out but pls, stop indulging in pre-marital s*x already.

For the all ladies sha, you guys really have to re-evaluate your values and virtues. You will be the one to bear the brunt when the center falls apart. Keep yourselves intact.

Goodluck.

Lol!! PMB repping Naija fathers!

Shout out to all 'good' Naija fathers.

Good points! Some parents probably tell a lot about their kid online.

The problem is drawing the line between what's to tell and what not to.
Unfortunately, most parents can't do this. It is embarrassing or rather shameful that little family secrets are shared carelessly....in the voice of my mentor,'what is wrong with everybody'?

But then these social media provide easy means of telling your family and friends what God has done for and in your life.

The problem is where to draw the line but then 'what do I know'

And someone is sitting on top of those logs!

My hustle no reach this one.

No qualms but our mentality is toooo low for this century!

Someone was having seizures and thankfully, it was status epilepticus and all people around could do was run.

Really, nobody cares these days.

Awwwwwwwwwww!!! Sooooooo inspiring!

What more? That's why we're different!

Guys take the easier path, women makes everything complex!

There is nothing like a good woman. Matured in every sense of each letter, cautious, God fearing and gracious.

God bless TYPICAL African women and men.

Matters arising! Family, ones pride, records soiled! For what nah?

Common sense is indeed not common.

Child abuse. Never really learnt from punishment. Worst? It got me scared. I will go back to doing those things once the 'punisher' is not in sight.

There are berra ways to do things. Talk the child through it and out of it. show how it is done. Children emulate a lot.

God bless your hustle.
God bless all 'working' parents and guardian!

As for the woman and all involved in this barbaric act; karma exists...o!
ATM, teach her a bitter lesson. Way on earth is she still looking pretty?

Child abuse. Never really learnt from punishment. Worst? It got me scared. I will go back to doing those things once the 'punisher' is not in sight.

There are berra ways to do things. Talk the child through it and out of it. show how it is done. Children emulate a lot.

God bless your hustle.
God bless all 'working' parents!

I fear for Naija ladies sha!

Hard telling who is good.

Dear! You're not alone.

This connection, recommendation etc, all na I.M
God is the source of all things.

My advice: review your cv, send it to professionals to edit...response maybe berra afterwards.

Take other jobs that will pay your bills effectively(regardless of your love to practice). Keep in view your plans to practice while on those jobs. God knows university degrees are underrated in Nigeria.

Good luck dear!

lrguru:
your own case na "my neighbour don comment, so I must comment". If I want to place u, I think u are that one stinkin long hair dangling in a "krase man" nyash.

Uh oh!
A case of striking the wrong cord!
Sorry dear!
I've got berra things to do.
God bless your day.