₦airaland Forum

Ify, that's what you get in restaurants like this. Come over to the Official NL Kishen and have all that you want free of charge.

koastar:
Watttt! How could you expect me to help you out in the kitchen? Don't you know my status in the society? (My bodyguards stretches out their guns), put that back in your pouch, she's a beautiful lady

Missy B, I want you to come with me now to my hood and serve me my food _{hope you're a good rider because i'm a cowboy horseracer} 

Why do I have to wait till I get to your hood b4 serving you, when i can give it to you right here?!  Just direct the customers here, Sir. 

OAM4J:
what is business with pleasure? na turenshi you dey talk, better go learn modern business, wetin your competitors dey take keep customers.

I no eat, my wife don cook for me for house.

Bring 5 customers and I shall consider your request. 

chamotex:
Hmmn

Runaway husband!

chaircover:
Missy B!!! What happened 

Firecash is trying to run you out of business. Is this what happens when you say no to a guys advances?   

Firecash I am dissapointed o! but I will try a light meal of a scotch egg, a meat pie and a glass of chapman to see if you can indeed cook as you claim 

Missy B, I have enrolled you on a weeks course at the Ritz to brush up on your cooking skills. We must never be caught napping again

CC hun, can you imagine?!

chaircover:
So you cant cook afterall

Missy B - relax. No cause for alarm.

Phew! There I was bothering myself over nothing.

koastar:
Walks in with a stick of cigar in the mouth and a cowboy's hat on the head.

Umm! Why is it that all the people here are just seated without being attended to? Is it that there is no food or the staff are incompetent?

Hmm! I think I should not waste my time here (walks out to the next kitchen)

Everyone's been served. Would you like to have anything?

Y me, you berra come here and assist me.

OAM4J:
no be for bone face, are you ready to give me after sale service? na 1 fone call i need to make, and all my friends still patronizing this joint go waka.

Missy doesn't mix business with pleasure. What would you have, Sir?  

Odunnu:
Hmmm na wa o!
OAM4OD,na from that end I get directions to ths place o.
Me I dey fear chop man food,so I leave my boyfriend for there say make I patronise my hardworking sister.
Errrm MadamB abi wetin be your name, na twenty awas i go take you b4 u come hia?
Aha! You don come? You get Starch and ogbono?oya bring am,with 2very big bottled water-only

Na God go bless you, ma sister.  

Ogbono soup isn't ready yet, please make do with banga soup.

Here Ma'am . . .

Starch and Banga soup

https://s3.hubimg.com/u/4656950_f496.jpg

Water

https://liveearth.org/sites/default/files/water_glass.jpg

Everything is Free. Enjoy!  

desthan:
<sub>**strolls in sweating profusely. . wandering reluctantly in the room. . opens a pack of gum and chewing irritably**

**suddenly brings out a shot gun and yells</sub>

EVERYBODY GO DOWN, ANYBODY MOVES AND I'LL BLAST THE PERSON OUT OF EXISTENCE

I SAY DON'T MOVE

TAKE OFF ALL YOUR WATCHES, JEWELERIES, HANDSET, SHOES AND THROWN THEM OVER TO ME NOW

Rotfl!!! Armed robbers frequent this joint?   The clients aren't safe.
Missy B's kitchen is the right place to be.  Your safety is guaranteed.  . . .Tell all.

Odunnu:
This kind joint dey here? I no no. I guess its bye bye to Iya Basira's buka.
Ehen, werrin dey ths afternoon?

Odunnu, biko helep me bring customers come hia. If them nor come again, how I go take pay pickin school fees and house bills?   

Food? What would you have?

OAM4J:
You came late, this is an old joint, there is a new joint in town https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-628886.0.html

Missy B refused to give me after sale service, so am moving to the new one.

luckybest:
@firearms. i need a fried corn and a chill bottle water, with a takeaway of jollofrice with a fried chickens and burger

Firearm isn't around at the moment and doesn't care about his clients.
If you're really hungry, you could get what you desire here . . . 

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-451442.0.html

7% ?

iyatrustee:
^^^ simple, multiply what only you paid by the number of guests u are expecting, plus an extra USD1000 for handling charges. [s]why not try the official NL kitchen and see if their charges are minimal[/s]

You see why I loff you wella?!   In fact, come and chop whorreva in my kitchen.   Please, biko, abeg . . . .Come and eat oooooooh!  

[s]Keep directing them to the official kitchen. . . . [/s]

What?  From monoply to direct competition in the blink of an eye? 
This section nor go contain us atol atol, should I see any of my clients here. **adjusts wrapper** 

In fact, watch me step out with new strategies. By the time I'm done, you go know seh the money and time channelled into the  study of business economics nor waste. 


To all . . . .
You are all invited to the official NL kitchen where staffs are on their feet 24/7 ready to serve delicious meals. Additionally, the NL kitchen is offering you the opportunity   to eat and drink anything and as much as you desire Free of Charge for 4 weeks. 
We'd also like to inform you that, there have been some improvements in the enviroment to make it more comfortable for our respectable clients. 
The NL official kitchen is the only place you can get the best . . . Come one, come all. 

Meanwhile . . . .Rice and spinach stew, please. 

Even on this thread? I just have to thank y'all for the entertainment.

Roftl!!!
Y'all go kill pesin, in fact, una don kill me.     

jennykadry:
are you not the south african LovePeddler dating a silly married nigerian man?

Guess that was the reason for ya ban

Rotflapimp!       

fstranger3:
Subscribing too

Hey jennykadryl. come back to that Blazay aka Osisi aka AJ thread please.


Come helep me kick Almondjoy's arse

You nor wan allow sleeping dogs lie ba?

This is horrible and heartwrenching! Poor child . . . .Poor parents . . . .Poor mother.
For the sake of everyone it affects, I just hope it's an animal in there and not a child. See pain!

[quote author=#Afanna link=topic=628943.msg7963000#msg7963000 date=1300804257]Benin people are strange![/quote]

Firearm:
^^^^

Haven't you heard of Typo before? 

Tjskii is aware. I am only stating the obvious
Tj remains my bride forever

You're just not a good fan . . . .You don't even know your star. 
1) Her name is Chik[b]a[/b] Ike and not Chik[b]e[/b] 
2) The girl in the 8th photo is Ruky Sanda not Chika 

You're in HOT soup . . . .I'm gonna call Tsiiiiiiijiiiiiiiki's attention to this thread. 

Walahi, Y'all nor serious!
Fstranger don kill me.

Yup . . . . Yup

Could you please make me coffee?

Remember - Bracket

naijangel7:
So you call Tonto Dikeh's acting in that movie "good acting"? Your argument is still geared towards celebrating mediocrity. For example:

So costume is not an "important element" in movie making? I suggest you watch more "behind-the-scenes" or "the-making-of" footage of international movies and see the amount of effort that goes into every single detail of the final productions we enjoy. Every single element is as important as the other. I complain about mediocrity and you say "feeble reasons".

Costume is important, but you just choose to take unnecessary potshots. How relevant is the height of heels compared to important elements like the plot, characters, entertainment value, acting, theme?
'Geisha' wore a 6 inch heels, the average university student doesn't on a regular basis, you say . . . How is that important? It's not like there's a defined dress code for university students that wasn't followed.
No rules broken . . .No abnormality portrayed.

Tonto was great too and I don't know how much effort was put into the production of that movie but one thing is sure . . . . I had a wonderful time viewing it. Nice movie! 

naijangel7:
I complain about mediocrity and you say "feeble reasons". We should "excuse" bad acting, "excuse" bad directing, "excuse" bad leadership, "excuse" "excuse" excuse". Mediocrity, not just corruption,  is the bane of development in Naija. I keep saying it.

Now, it's no more about the heels but, the directing and this and that? Okay!

I'm good . . . .You nko?

Lysaaaaa darlinnnnnng[b]?[/b]

mummy3:
A 5 x 1million for my baby-lady. My admirable actress in the industry. Ini I love you faint. You fat-o i dey your side, you slim-o i full ground for you.

Death! https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/24.gif

Muah Muah - Bracket

Is that you, Lysaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

naijangel7:
@Missy B, who said the clothes were too revealing? i said they dressed like they were going clubbing, mostly. I attended two Nigerian unis in the East and in the West of Naija and girls for the most part wear a lot of jeans, revealing top or not. Yes, some girls dress like they are going clubbing sometimes but they are looked at strangely. There's a difference between revealing and clubbing. I don't know where u saw revealing in my post. How many girls wear 6 inch heels to class everyday, for example? Check out the difference in the movie when Keisha wears the same dress but with lower-heeled shoes. Looked more like our regular campus chick! Tiny little ideas have major impacts on the screen.

I assumed, by ''dressed like they are going clubbing '' you meant they dressed
too revealing, seeing that you gave no explanation what you meant by the expression. Excuse the misinterpretation.
However,  I must point out that, it's quite ridiculous to ignore important elements that make up a movie and concentrate on trivialities like how unrealistically dressed the actors were. 

naijangel7:
Nollywood has no excuse about being a budding industry anymore. We've come of age abeg. Won't waste my time on a drawn out argument. Go watch a Jeta Amata movie and then we can have a talk. i really wonder why Nigerians choose to celebrate mediocrity. it's reflected in our politics, everything. MEDIOCRITY! anyway, someone on Youtube pointed out that it's a comedy. so maybe that explains the disgusting americana acting and crappy storyline.

Nollywood, like other film industries, produces good and crappy movies. As imperfect as Nollywood may be, it's quite obvious that it isn't stagnant. Nollywood has improved in recent years and hopefully, it continues to do so as, there's enough room for improvement.
That said, my attention is on this particular movie ''BBB'' which you say is crap, for feeble reasons.
It's a comedy, even the title is suggestive of that. Why would anyone use the same criteria for a comedy that parodies the society, a genre in which anything goes, as well as for a 'serious' genre, say, tragedy that's educational and has a moral?
Good quality, good acting, good and realistic themes and most importantly, entertaining/funny, why then wouldn't one excuse the few scenes that weren't well thought-out?!

naijangel7:
Go and check this out:
https://www.facebook.com/BlackGoldFilm

There's a reason why AMAZING GRACE and this new film are the only ones that have made waves in recognised global events. Jeta's passion and professionalism shine through. As much as i'm proud of Nollywood, Nigerians really have to demand more from movie producers and actors. That's when we'll get good quality acting, directing and strong storylines. It's just a money-making venture for them so far. Time will tell.

Jeta is good, no one disputes that.  . . . He isn't the only good director around either.
Some Nollywood movies  have reached international renown - Ije, Black gold, Anchor
baby, Aromire ; the figurine and, there are countless others that didn't reach international renown but are equally good.

Nollywood isn't the best. . . .It just isn't crap either.

Say what?

jennykadry:
with that his alaba market  and iweka road onitsha made diickk.

Old frog

Kai! Dem go kill me 4 hia!

JK, e don do 

Atreides:
@Missy B,i see you!
U ma setin tu'omwvan?

Oh darling, forgive ma manners. Vbo ye è, otemwen?

fstranger3:
She has no job, spends 24 hrs on NL, cant write a flawless sentence even though English is the only language she speaks, what earthly possession{s) do you think she has to her name to bɪˈkwiːð?


She is living off a hardworking Nigerian, IN HER OWN COUNTRY, for PAPERS


PS: Lets 'kobet,' by the time you are done with university, she'd still be where she is right now, posting trash on NL. I have seen that script before, countless times

Death!

Dearie, it's a Forum. . . . . A faceless community where hundreds of people from all walks of life, with different incapabilities 'meet' to exchange views.
What do you expect? 

We have the socially handicapped and we have those that help put them in check  because, as you see, NL is a mini Nigeria, a sorta jungle where only the strong survive and to enjoy NL you have to be 'strong'.   

Don't worry, you too will blend in soon. 

Have you an answer to 'em?