₦airaland Forum

kaboninc:
Hi Monicasque

Hi

Your moniker says u r a man, yet u speak of your hubby. Anyway that does not matter.u knw wat my dear, if after talking to your spouse about your feelings he still does not change, its fine. Try to talk to your inlaws in the most humble and respectful way abt your problem, bt dnt talk to dem as a group. Talk to dem as individuals. Find a calm and nuetral place for u to do dis. Maybe invite someone out for a cup of coffie. Treat dem on dat particular day, great lunch at a nice restuarant etc. Or buy de person a gift, go to deir house when dey r alone and express your feelings. Show the individual dat u dnt mean war, bt all u r after is peace and deir understanding. If all dis fails, its okay, u have tried. U have to understand dat most of de time, with inlaws one might always b seen as bad, i dnt knw y bt in most cases its rare to find inlaws who r nice to u. Just do as he says, forgive and forget, dnt hold a grudge, dnt force yourself on dem, b there on occassions which need your presene bt keep your distance from them a little bit. Rather be seen as dis queit introvert who does all her daughter in law duties.u r nt being foolish, u r just being realistic. Its hard to change a man,bt its easy to change your responce to hurting situations.dats y before one gets married, all de woman in your family must sit u down and explain de issues of marriage to u, so dat in de future in your marriage or with yo inlaws u dnt face situations which u dnt knw how to cope with

Sometimes u find that u still do love the person, bt u just find out that he is not who u thought he was. Dis is y u shud take time to know him or her, becoz honey, marriage is no child's play

Its okay, the pain will disapear one day n she will get her own man. Whe de time is right

Its okay, the pain will disapear one day n she will get her own man

Ncoooooooh how r adorable. Congrats guys

Sile12:
Lol. What if the mum now tell you that as long as you are willing to be part of the family, you must accept their ways of life and eat everything they eat?

i will ask my man if he agrees with her. If he does, then i guese m at the wrong place and need to move on. I can't hurt myself just to be accepted or belong. I also have my own family which i belong to, and i dnt blv dat for me to marry her son or belong to my family i must hurt who i am. I dnt mind living her son and asking God to lead my steps to the right family. Not everything is for u, and anything u have to fight hard for, especialy being accepted in to someone's family is a no no for me.if her son loves me, and understands dat m nt gona compromise on certain things its fine, i dnt care wat de mom says, bt if the brother puts my mouth at risk too, den maybe he aint worth it. One thing u have to understand my brother i wil nt be rude or violent, and me asking him if he agrees wit her is nt making him chose between me and her, its just me wanting to find out if he and i want de same thing in life, which is unconditional love between 2 ppl. I wil nt fight or b angry. I knw how to silently and peaceful walk away from a situation which i feel works against who i am. I knw relationships need compromise, bt there r certain things i cant compromise on. M nt arrogant or naive, i just knw dat if a situation is nt good for me, there is something realy meant for me out there

Sile12:
Lol. What if the mum now tell you that as long as you are willing to be part of the family, you must accept their ways of life and eat everything they eat?

i will ask my man if he agrees with her. If he does, then i guese m at the wrong place and need to move on. I can't hurt myself just to be accepted or belong. I also have my own family which i belong to, and i dnt blv dat for me to marry her son or belong to my family i must hurt who i am. I dnt mind living her son and asking God to lead my steps to the right family. Not everything is for u, and anything u have to fight hard for, especialy being accepted in to someone's family is a no no for me.if her son loves me, and understands dat m nt gona compromise on certain things its fine, i dnt care wat de mom says, bt if the brother puts my mouth at risk too, den maybe he aint worth it

For me if someone does not like me i just stay away from her. Yes we will meet on many occasions and she might abuse me or make my life hell, or even influence her son against me. Its all fine. I will take de abuse, bt i wud rather try by almeans to stay off her side and avoid her. If it gets to a point wer she breaks everything m trying to build, its fine, the battle belongs to the LORD. I cant spend my life decieving ppl and being what am not. Love me for me, or leave me alone

For me if someone does not like me i just stay away from her. Yes we will meet on many occasions and she might abuse me or make my life hell, or even influence her son against me. Its all fine. I will take de abuse, bt i wud rather try by almeans to stay off her side and avoid her. If it gets to a point wer she breaks everything m trying to build, its fine, the battle belongs to the LORD

I will not lie nor pretend. I will politely tell them dat there are certain things which i dnt eat, and dat is one of dem

So what did u finaly do op? Its been over 3 years nw, wat has happened? Did u marry her or u married the other one? What happend after the wedding? Give us feedback nah

Hehehhe lolest, kweeeks hw funny iss dis post? Kikiki realy cant stop laughing. Nice one op

Love does still exist my doll. U just havnt met dat one who makes yo heart melt yet. Give yoself time, n do not block yo heart. Open it, n allow it to b someone's home, even just on a trial basis, eventual a test wil turn in to permant

The law

M a lady bt these photos r scaring me. I doubt if this is real

I regret not dumping him earlier.

What she did was wrong

samtol4:
Xenophobia attacks in Durban got to boiling point today when over 2000locals from Umlazi and Kwa Mashu storm Durban to continue looting and killing but met stiff resistance from NIGERIANS ,who gathered @popular place called Point to resist and fight back .

It's funny how we are always nice to South Africans when they come to our country, but when we are in theirs, they treat us bad. What is it with South Africans that makes them to have such small minds?

So sex cures epilepy? Y u specifically? Wat is so special abt yo dick dat makes it cure illness? R u a doctor? Lol, dis story i dnt blv. Yo ex shud go to the hospital, let dem perfom a CT brainscan and an EEG to see wer all dis is coming from, perfom more tests and b put on proper medication. Instead of such wickedness suggested by yo mother in law if yo story is true. Plz remember dat there r real humans out there, who suffer for real from things like epilepsy, so making fun of it is not realy good hey

ireneony:
do u know if the man monthly allowance is #5000

hehehhe okay honey

U started it bro. No money no love. I aint saying she's a gold digger, but she aint messing wit no broke nigga.

Lol

bt seriously though, u ruined yo relationship the day u used money instead of yo persona to win her

.

Marry the one u love, coz u dnt wana hate de person u wake up next to for the rest of your life. Your aim is to set your heart free. If she dont love u, its her problem. She is the one who wud have gotten herself in a jail situation. B selfish if u dnt wana hate yo life forever, or rather wait for the one who wil love u as much as u love her

Marry the one u love, coz u dnt wana hate de person u wake up next to for the rest of your life. Your aim is to set your heart free. If she dont love u, its her problem. She is the one who wud have gotten herself in a jail situation

Bro can i plz ask. How old is she and how long did u guys date before marriage? Was she like dis before u 2 got married? Have u tried to tell her dat u dnt like dis her behaviour? And wat did she say wen u did?

MRBrownJ:
but no sane man goes to court hoping to divorce his wife, without trying to solve the issue with his wife first....unless there is a bigger issue here and her look is just a cheap excuse. if upgrading yourself to the best you can be is easy then that should be the aim of men AND women all the way through marriage.

yes u r right. Couples shud forver b working on demselves in order to develop and keep marriages happy. So do u think there is a hidden reason y de brother in dis thread went to court?

MRBrownJ:
^^^^Sista Monicasque, if your man tells you he has a problem with the way you look, then why you should do all the great things that you wrote above "in order to save your marriage", instead of doing it out of bitterness because he finally wants to divorce you because you were lazy and comfortable with your poor state?

The things you mentioned you would do, in order to spite this man, is what any woman should do in marriage to keep the fire and passion alive in their union, whether her man wants to divorce her or not.

it all comes down to whatever is important to each and everyone, and as a wifey, you would have known that looks were important to your man and therefore act upon that fact.

my love. I wud not be doing these things in order to spite him. I wud b doing them so dat i develop myself. Obviously i was responding to a man who is in court divorcing. Not a man who sat with his wife and told her his concerns. If he were to tell me his concerns instead of running to court. Obviously i wud do these in order to save my marriage. Bt if de brother already ran to court witout consulting me. Its also still fine. I wil let him. He knows better

If she wants to be rude or treat u bad let her. Will u die if u just keepo quet and humble yourself? De thing i wud rather do, is to be prayerful so dat no evil spirits come in to my home. Rude humans i can tolerate, evil spirits, NOoooo i cant