₦airaland Forum

lezz:
Please the original question raised by Bukky is about if couples who cheat still want in on the union.

My answer was : for men and women it is different. So it's about man and women here. I was thinking only logic stood in the way. I now add Retrograde Amnesia as an overwhelming factor impeding factual conclusions here.

colabotu:
educated idiot, nobody is doubting the fact that sex with one person for payment is not prostitution. my point is that any form of sex with the expectation of being paid in cash or kind is prostitution.

colabotu:
educated idiot. Did you see money in the definition I quoted you or payment ?

payment can be in any form, money is just one form of payment.

if that was indeed the definition of prostitute then your post would be wrong, as even sex with ONE man would be enough to categorize a woman as a prostitute, and furthermore PAYMENT must be confirmed, therefore if she does it for fun then technically she isnt a prostitute then, duh!

educate yourself so i dont have to do it for you. PROSTITUTE: A person who misuses their talents or who sacrifices their self-respect for the sake of personal or financial gain:

btw: does a gal who has sex with her bosses for a promotion any different? does a man who fukcs sugar mama different? does a man with 3GFs not a prostitute too? is a gal fucking for Brazilian hair not an ashawo then?

Stillfire:
I think this is even more justification for the female to cheat. When they realize the lower animal they are dealing with, cheating is inevitable. And in comparison to a cheater (female) vs murderer (male), the law and society would be more lenient on the cheater than the murderer. It's a slight win for the female compared to the lower evolved predisposed to violence male.

lezz:
No one said it is .
Isn't it funny, given the debate-worthiness of the females here none has found that submission worthy of debunking? None but you, a male

My postulation has been simple. When men cheat, they often do so for fun or just because they can or for ego.
They still love and keep their union even though they can easily divorce and remarry.( the majority of cheating men that is)

Now whether this cheating is right or wrong, is not within the scope or intention of my submissions. I simply answered the question Bukky raised.

The morality of cheating was your idea and you somehow managed to weave it into the discuss

Over 70% of married men have admitted to cheating. That's those who agreed to be surveyed and owned up. If we take into account those who didn't give an opinion for one reason or the other, the mark will sour to 85%
And all of them are weak!!! Your stand is annoyingly simplistic and base. Religion is the only factor that defines cheating. Again you're taking this discuss away from it's original limit.

Men cheat and still want to stay in marriage, true or false? Answer that!!!

You're saying what you've been saying and what I've been debunking over again.

colabotu:
now BRO thats what I am talking about. I am tired of seeing cheap girl parading themselves as "wanna be men". a woman can never be a man. she is made to be pure till marriage that's why most of them were created with hymen. I AM JUST TOO TIRED OF ATTENDING WEDDING AND SEEING A GROUP OF GUYS SITTING AT A CORNER LAUGHING AND GIGGLING HOW ONE OR ALL OF THEM HAD bleeped THE BRIDE BEFORE HER WEDDING. FOR GOD SAKE IT MAKES THE GROOM LOOK STUPID AND THE WHOLE CEREMONY POINTLESS.

colabotu:
next time before you reply my post check your dictionary :
prostitute /ˈprɒstɪtjuːt/
noun
a person, typically a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.
Dictionary.com

bukatyne:
I wanted to create this thread during Tiwa/Teeblizz's saga however, it slipped. MRBrownJ's views on another thread reminded moi.

So here we go...

In Nigerian society, there has always been strict gender roles in marriage

1. The husband provides (which was/is the major reason he is the 'head') everything or almost everything whether the wife earned or not. He is also the 'sole' decision maker.

2. The wife took care of the home aka cooked, cleaned, cared for the kids etc. with little or no assistance from the husband.

Strangely, we have a lot of guys complaining of 'gold digging' ladies and several threads has been opened to encourage/chastise women to earn and contribute/'assist' at home with the home front still largely managed by ladies.

In recent times, we have women handling all the finances due to no fault of the husband and she is still expected to handle most/all domestics even when the husband is home all day. (E.g. Teeblizz accusing Tiwa of not cooking)

Now to the questions:
1. What makes the husband the head/ sole authority if he expects the wife to contribute to the upkeep without necessarily compromising in domestics?

2. Why is the average woman who wants to marry/date a financially ok man called a gold digger considering that she is still expected to play her own part?

3. Why do people frown on a wife who expects her husband to provide all (even women programs emphasize this and call them lazy esp. stay @ home moms) while the wife is expected to handle the domestics majorly?

4. Why is a wife expected to handle the domestics alone when she becomes the breadwinner working outside the home and her hubby is largely at home?

lezz:

You haven't hit the mark yet. The more you try the wider you're shooting off target and steering this discuss into unrelated waters. You're going to drink a lot of salt water. I have a feeling this is a female hiding behind this moniker. No male will be so inexperienced and subjective!!!

Tell me, what "union are you talking about? A traditional marriage or a Christian one?

So in the world where you reside, only " weakness " spurs cheating? Some men cheat for ego, infact only religion has sought to moralise a man's desire for women.

Bukatyn's question was: when couples cheat do they want out of marriage?
When exactly did you quarrel with Mr. Logic?
I have answered her by telling her for men and women it is different. Most men who cheat still want their marriages. Women who cheat will likely stay if their husbands are the main breadwinner.

lezz:
A woman's cheating, by the very nature of her sexual and emotional disposition, entails far more graver betrayal than that of a man.

Chauvinist? Maybe, but true all the same.

A man may cheat and still worships the very ground his wife walks.

A woman may cheat and she's body and soul detached from her husband completely.[/b]

fancyupage:
Please don't miscontrue this debate, the issue here is an allegation of abuse which led to murder and only a court can determine a guilt verdict. I have maintained it is an allegation

kaboninc:
What is it with you and women?

It appears you have a cause or an axe to grind or a score to settle with them dolls.

Did they do you chomchin?

Mindfulness:
My husband has similar views.

My views are slightly different. Anyway. I need to prepare something to eat. Have a nice evening. I enjoyed this conversation very much.

It was nice having a diversity of opinions in a peaceful atmosphere.

fancyupage:
What are you fixing? I have already put Alleged where it is appropriate. No one dies because of cheating so there cannot be an allegation. Cheating does not kill, men and women kill. That Lekan is abusive and jealous is an established fact with loads of evidence and he is not denying that as well. The only appropriate place for allegation is that of saying he murdered...which I already did. So please stop your fantasy of fixed lol

lezz:
You're a misconstruer!!! I have given no reason to cheat yet. I simply stated a man may cheat and still have unflinching love for his wife and I submitted it isn't so for (the average) woman. Lolz, you've got to keep within the thin rails of logic here.

Ignorantly simplistic. Infact borderline naivety!!! There are instances where the dearth of love and affection can spur men and women to cheat.

And there are other instances particular to men with cheating: Just for the fücking fun of it.

How can "weakness" be why everyone cheats?

She didn't ask for your view on why people cheat, she asked for your take on my submissions.

fancyupage:
That Lekan is allegedly abusive. it is no longer an allegation. Lekan is allegedly suffering from anger management and cultural idiocy.

Mindfulness:
And I wish more men would think like you.

I didn't use the (for now supposedly) higher se.xual drive as an excuse for cheating.
I just want to know if this is true because frankly speaking I think it may be.

Mindfulness:
Well, I am not supporting any of them - the man or the woman.
I think the whole drama is absolutely unnecessary.

People are taking relationships too seriously for my liking. I prefer to enjoy relationships as long as they are sweet and last. If anything changes or ends, so be it. Everything shall come to pass and I am at peace with it.

Mindfulness:
@bold
Do you really think that it is all in his head?
I think - but I am not sure - that, generally speaking, there are differences between men and women when it comes to se.xuality.
We are fertile once in a month, you are fertile every day. Don't you think that males - generally speaking - have a higher se.xual drive?

fancyupage:
That is one in millions of women doing it today. And she is not dead because she cheated, she is dead because someone probably killed her illegally. the law will run its course.

fancyupage:
it is the madmen that should see a doctor for mental health therapy. Ronke allegedly did not die because she cheated, she died because she was alleged to have been murdered in cold blood by an allegedly abusive and jealous husband.

lezz:
Your take on hypocrisy both here and at the first instance is inadvertently pointing to your ignorance of the chief differences between men and women in relation to sex and the act of cheating!!!

Still doesn't do justice to your postulations. Go back and read bukatyn's post I quoted. She asked: " do cheating couples still desire to stay in marriage "Something of that nature. And my response was in answer to that. And that answer isn't the same for men as it is for women

Do you think perchance, she saw a semblance of truth there and cc-ed you for damage control?

Stillfire:
Men have not evolved to solve crisis through organized speech. Women have. Men are still on the level of lower animals that is why they resort to violence to solve conflicts. Yup I said it!

Mindfulness:
Well, you said these men were fragile.
A woman who milks a man and then cheats on him does not appear to be fragile but sneaky and and sly.
She wasn't worth it, was she?

fancyupage:
Seriously? Cheating and murder are now criminal offence? To educate you, cheating is not a criminal offence in law. Murder is a criminal offence in law.

Any man that think he will physically abuse his wife for cheating on him should be ready for jail. Remember no jail on earth for cheaters, but jail is there for abusers and Murderers.

A woman can stay in her marriage and endure bitterness or get out of the marriage to cheat or get of the marriage through divorce. All these three options are legal.

Mindfulness:
Maybe these fragile men should make better choices or first go through some therapy.

I know but this understanding won't save them from the consequences they will have to face afterwards.

lezz:
A woman's cheating, by the very nature of her sexual and emotional disposition, entails far more graver betrayal than that of a man.
Chauvinist? Maybe, but true all the same.

A man may cheat and still worships the very ground his wife walks.
A woman may cheat and she's body and soul detached from her husband completely.

bukatyne:
Mr. Brown,
We are not discussing adultery here; we are discussing if death (at the hands of the spouse) is a deserving consequence of adultery.

And I 100% agree with you that a woman/man shouldn't stay married if they desire to have other partners. I also believe someone who cheats when the other partner errs is indirectly saying they are done with the marriage.

This now leads to other questions...
1. Is sex = love
2. Do people who cheat no longer interested in their marriages?

Mindfulness:
People shouldn't get married to them in the first place but it is not always that obvious and sometimes develops after the deed has been done.

I understand that they are reaching out for relief BUT it is not long lasting and may do more harm than good to themselves.

Everyone has got a brain, they should start and use it.

You consider them stvpid, they think that they are smart because most of them get away with it one way or another. Women are very good at hiding it and men have plenty of excuses.

Well, I have not come to this world to fix other people's problems but holla at me if you need some support.

Well, it works for some couples so I let them be and let them live their lives as they choose to. But Lord have mercy upon their poor souls if they try to impose their beliefs on myself and my life.

I would rather be at peace and joyful.

bukatyne:
I still stand by that. A husband cannot hold the wife's pvssy from sleeping with another man. If her husband cannot take it, he can send her packing aka divorce her.

Mindfulness:
There is a THICK LINE between love and insanity if you are a strong person.

Some men won't give a fvck. They will replace her with a hotter version and move on just like that.

You have just perfectly illustrated why people should NEVER be encouraged to take the law into their own hands. They make the rules as they go. It is not about justice, it is about one own's interest.

It's even worse than prost.itution, it's a modern form of slavery.

My heart goes out to their children.

I don't feel like blaming anyone. It's not my problem. I have always done what I wanted and I have always lived in a parallel universe and will continue to do so.

I agree but I am rebellious by default unlike the masses who feel that they need to please the society or the church.

Some people - men and women - want to stay in a relationship / marriage and yet have an 'adventure' here or there every now and then.
Don't blame me, blame nature. I wouldn't take it so personally and make a whole drama out of it. Forgive or walk away. It's not worth a massacre.

Mindfulness:
I understand your line of argument but I can't understand in.sanity.

A man decides to engage in criminal activities to impress a woman. His behavior is WRONG. The woman decides to cheat on him some year into the relationship. Her behavior is WRONG. How is the one better than the other? Why does he feel he has the right to take her life? Does he also feel that someone else has the right to take his life because he tricked them into giving him money? You gave the example of yahoo boys.

No, MrBrownJ, I can't understand why someone chooses to do wrong and hopes to get scot-free but wants others to die when he is on the receiving end.

It is one thing to want money and it is another to kill people for money.

It was their choice to spend their money on women so they shouldn't complain. It isn't by force. And that's what you are actually preaching. They can buy s.ex but they can't buy love and loyalty.

What I understand is that such people are dangerously sick in the true sense of the word. Any sane person knows that killing the person who hurt you will neither get you your money back nor soothe your pain. It will make everything worse.

@bold
Deluded and in.sane.

No because people change, in fact everything changes constantly, so whoever is right for you today may be wrong for you tomorrow. You can hope that your relationship / marriage will unfold beautifully but there is no guarantee it will and if it doesn't, murder will neither fix it nor make your life better.

bukatyne:
Stories of people killing cheating spouses is not strange and not acceptable.

On a flip side, is a cheating spouse worth ending your life for?

Mindfulness:
Quite an unrealistic scenario because I doubt that any man will engage in criminal activities for the sole purpose of impressing a babe. Moreover, the money he makes is not all entirely spent on her. He enjoys the money too and also his family.

However, MrBrownJ, when you tell these boys / men not to spend their hard or not so hard earned money on ladies who feel entitled to their money, they come and insult you as being broke. So no, I don't sympathize with them. It's a choice they make.

Moreover, he can buy himself a new pro.stitute instead of killing someone's daughter and mother and instead of getting himself into BIG trouble.

A woman who gave up on her career to devote herself to family life because her husband wanted it so, will find it more difficult to move on when her husband cheats or takes in a second wife because a woman with children and no income is in a worse situation for several reasons.

Would you understand her if she poisons her husband's meals? We both would, it's an act of desperation and it's sick so we should NEVER justify it.

What people need to understand is that cheating has been part of human relationships since times immemorial and will always continue to be. Even if we say that it is not right, say goodbye to the idea that you own a human being and that you can control them.

This is why I say, make sure that you are self-reliant and NEVER depend on anyone else for anything - neither money nor happiness