Sagamite:

You are a slowpoke.

I guess you don't know what an investment bank is. Foolish ediot.

Tell us the kwekwe job you do at the company with a nursery school website?

You pack roofing sheets (as your pix profile will suggest)?

I thought you wanted to have mouth about what you do. Utter foool thinking working for PHCN is the dream.

ibabalol:

i could not help but laugh at that malaria part,
you funny no be small
but a little encouragement will be good,
its not easy to get six pack oh.

ibabalol:

Why you go do me like that now Mr. Carther

ibabalol:

am not there yet though but what do y'all think

Ultrame:

Mehnnnn! i can't take it anymore! i've been laughing all day and then this 'Adam in the garden of bush' comes up. What the hell is he doing lying in that bush anyway? Arkinses you nor try at all!

shilling:

That picture on page 6 is one of the funniest things I've seen on NL in a while.

(CNN) -- Who is Nigeria's new president, Goodluck Jonathan?
In keeping with his name, he is sometimes regarded as one of the luckiest men in Nigerian politics. Goodluck Jonathan, 52, with a degree in zoology worked as an environmental officer until he entered politics. He ran as deputy governor for Bayelsa state in 2001-- one of Nigeria's main oil-producing states in the oil-rich Niger Delta region.
After the state governor -- Diepreye Alamieyeseigha -- was indicted by Nigeria's Economic and Financial Crimes Commission on corruption charges in 2006, Jonathan was promoted to governor of one of the richest regions in Africa.
This rather obscure politician is then widely regarded by political analysts as having been hand-picked by then-President Olusegun Obasanjo to run as vice-president with Umaru Yar'Adua in the 2007 national elections.
In what are widely considered the most flawed in Nigeria's history they won.
Then in November 2009, President Umaru Yar'Adua was taken to Saudi Arabia because of a heart condition -- but without signing over power to his vice president.
Since November, Jonathan and his supporters struggled to gain presidential power against an array of factions competing for influence and power. In February, Jonathan was finally made acting president by the House of Representatives. With Yar'Adua's death and the consequent swearing in of Jonathan to the presidency he has now solidified his position.
Some Nigerians put Jonathan's rise to power down to 'good luck.' The removal of those above him -- through no act of his own -- provided the opportunity for his rise. Others credit him with the political patience to sit out events until they play in his favor.
Whatever the case he has no further to rise and his political prowess and skill will now be truly tested to try to introduce any of his promised reforms before elections next year.

How well known is he on the African stage?
Not at all, and not especially even in Nigeria. Jonathan's first main interview after assuming the vice presidency was CNN's "Amanpour" show.
He is a quiet man, who appears to have had little obvious ambition in reaching the dizzying heights of the presidency.
However, his recognition has skyrocketed as he assumed the presidency of Africa's most populous country, with about 150 million people. His agenda before the elections will be less about projecting Nigeria's image across the continent and world -- but maintaining stability and preparing the country for elections next year.

What was his relationship with Yar'Adua?
Very little is known about the private relationship between Yar'Adua and now-President Jonathan, who had little public influence in the administration during Yar'Adua's tenure.
Nigeria holds an unofficial policy of power sharing between the south-west, south-east and north. Yar'Adua was the north's "turn" and Jonathan's appointment to the vice presidency was seen as appeasing the South-East in the power-sharing arrangement.
However, both Yar'Adua and Jonathan were members of Nigeria's biggest political party -- the PDP or Peoples Democratic Party. With little opposition it's a party with little coherent political alignment other than maintaining control of Nigerian politics. Both Yar'Adua and Jonathan agreed on the main polices of the administration and now Jonathan promises to continue Yar'Adua's main agenda of political reform and peace in the Niger Delta.

How likely is Jonathan to get re-elected next year?
The 2011 elections are the prize for the on-going political struggles. Jonathan has not said publicly that he will run but he has also not ruled out running.
Already several of Nigeria's big political players are intimating that they will run -- in particular Ibrahim Babangida, an ex-president who annulled the country's elections in 1993.
However, holding the presidency would give Jonathan considerable influence and support as the incumbent if he decided to run. But many analysts believe Jonathan's much touted electoral reform will be difficult to implement if he decides to run in a race that he is also trying to influence through his reforms.
Jonathan also hails from Nigeria's south, and the PDP's unofficial policy of power rotation means that the presidency still belongs to the north. They are traditional powerbrokers in much Nigeria's history since independence in 1960 and feel that despite Yar'Adua's death, the president should continue to belong to a northerner for at least one more term.

In April Jonathan fired the whole of the cabinet. Why did he do this?
Jonathan and his supporters struggled to maintain their grip on power after Yar'Adua left for Saudi Arabia because of a heart condition.
What was widely criticized by political commentators and even some ministers as a "cabal" of ministers around both the president and his wife, Turai, tried to prevent the transfer of power to Jonathan and keep control of Nigeria's massive oil economy and political power for the upcoming elections for themselves.
During the political impasse, hundreds were killed in ethno-religious violence in central Nigeria, attacks against oil facilities in the oil-rich Niger Delta resumed and thousands of protesters took to the streets.
To try to clear the impasse, assume political control, bring a sense of stability, as well as bow to popular pressure Jonathan fired the entire cabinet. His new cabinet is widely regarded as trying to appease most of the factions -- bringing back some of Yar'Adua's ministers, introducing ministers of his own, as well as Former Goldman Sachs executive Olusegun Olutoyin Aganga as finance minister whom many hope will continue economic reforms.

What is his attitude toward the militants in the troubled oil-rich Niger Delta region?
Jonathan is from the Niger Delta, and has plenty of political experience in the region after his time as governor of one most oil-rich states in the region.
As a politician from the Niger Delta he carries considerable political influence with the armed gangs and militants in the Niger Delta, who now see his rise to the presidency as their opportunity to wield true political power and implement long-term changes in favor of the region.
However, the Niger Delta is a region of many ethnic and political groups and many do not support Jonathan -- some even attempting to prevent him assuming the Presidency.
An amnesty for militant groups introduced under Yar'Adua maintains a relative peace in the region -- and Jonathan has stated his aim to support the amnesty and rehabilitation of militants who accepted it.
However, it must be noted that the militants were originally funded and armed by politicians in the Niger Delta who used the armed young men to win political power. This is the background against which politicians like Jonathan rose to power in the region. There is a concern that with the 2011 elections the cycle could begin again.

What other key issues face Nigeria? What are Jonathan's plans?
Nigeria has a host of problems it needs to tackle -- corruption, ethno-religious violence in central Nigeria, armed gangs in the oil-rich Niger Delta, the rise of Islamic sects in the north, dependency on oil (oil accounts for 80% of budgetary revenue), and a overwhelming population explosion.
Perhaps the most important key to alleviating most of these issues is free and fair elections and Jonathan is promising electoral reform.
However, so too have many of his predecessors, and Jonathan's rise to power is on the back of what are widely regarded as some of the most flawed elections in the country's history. But even some a small improvement in the election process would help return from what is a complete erosion in the legitimacy of government in the eyes of Nigerians, and in turn hope to promote better governance.
Jonathan is a product of Nigeria's current political system who has attempted few big reforms against the status quo during most of his time in office. Why would he start now? Nigerians don't care -- they just want him to start.

Prince~Ozo:

You should have been protecting your mother since. My dad did that too but by the time I entered high school, as scrawny as I was, he knew very well by that time what was in store for him should he lose his mind and resort to that nonsense. You're grown, deal with it before you lose your mother.

Tuyis:


We should be careful so as not to become like the people we like to castigate, selfish and cold hearted.

carmelily:

somehow, i had to retard my thinking to be able to read through the original poster's story. How can you say you are married (presumably over the age of 18) and you have married siblings as well but the best you can do about an abusive father is put a post up on nairaland? What makesyou think you are responsible enough to manage the responsibilities of a wife and home yourself?

Just be patient till he kills your mum and then you can put up another post.

sjeezy8:

[flash=535,325]http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/_bEwozoSNCc&feature=related[/flash]

awon small boys

stylishcsa:

, And who is this dude on the floor, ? I can see your packs on your ''forehead'. It doesn't matter where it is, same packs it is!

[center]Nigeria's Goodluck Jonathan sworn in as president[/center]


Nigeria's acting President Goodluck Jonathan has been sworn in as head of state following the death of President Umaru Yar'Adua after a long illness.

Mr Jonathan, in charge since February, will appoint a deputy and serve out the rest of the current presidential term until elections due next year.

Mr Yar'Adua died late on Wednesday in the capital Abuja. TV broadcasts were interrupted with the news.

Seven days of national mourning have been announced.

Mr Jonathan took the oath of office in front of government ministers and other officials at the presidential villa in Abuja almost 12 hours after Mr Yar'Adua died. The ceremony was performed by the chief justice of Nigeria, Alloysius Katsina-Alu.

Mr Jonathan put on a sash bearing the green, yellow and white colours of Nigeria, signifying he had formally taken over as president.


  Nigeria has lost the jewel on its crown and even the heavens mourn with our nation tonight

Goodluck Jonathan
Afterwards he made a brief address, saying his administration was committed to pursuing good governance, electoral reform and the fight against corruption "with greater vigour".

"Having taken the oath of office, in line with the Nigerian constitution, under these very sad, unusual circumstances I urge fellow citizens to remain steadfast and committed to the values and aspirations of our nation," he said.

"While this is a major burden on me, and indeed the entire nation, we must - in the midst of such great adversity - continue to gain our collective efforts towards upholding the values which our departed leader represented."

He added: "One of the true tests will be that all votes count, and are counted, in our upcoming presidential election."

Mr Yar'Adua, who was 58, will be buried in a Muslim ceremony later on Thursday in his northern home state of Katsina, officials said.

Condolences paid

Nigerian TV interrupted normal programming to announce the news in a brief statement early on Thursday.

The announcer said: "The president and commander-in-chief of the armed forces, Umaru Musa Yar'Adua, died a few hours ago at the presidential villa.

Government spokesman Olusegun Adeniyi said the president's wife, Turai, was at his side when he died.

Shortly after Mr Yar'Adua's death was announced, people began arriving at the presidential villa in the capital Abuja to pay their condolences.

A spokesman for Mr Jonathan said he had received the news with "shock and sadness".

"Nigeria has lost the jewel on its crown and even the heavens mourn with our nation tonight," Mr Jonathan said in a statement.

US President Barack Obama has led tributes from world leaders, praising Mr Yar'Adua's profound personal decency and integrity" and his "passionate belief in the vast potential and bright future of Nigeria's 150 million people".

Mr Yar'Adua's election in 2007 marked the first transfer of power from one civilian president to another since Nigeria's independence in 1960.

He promised a string of reforms in Africa's most populous nation, including tackling corruption and reforming the inadequate energy sector and flawed electoral system.

Analysts say he made the most progress in tackling unrest in the oil-rich Niger Delta by offering amnesties to rebels.

He had been absent from the political scene since November, when he went to a hospital in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, for several months.

Political limbo

During that time he was not heard from, apart from a BBC interview. He returned to Nigeria in February but remained too sick to govern.

A presidential spokesman said at the time that he was being treated for acute pericarditis, an inflammation of the lining around the heart.

His long absence and the lack of detailed information about his health led to a political limbo in Nigeria, which was only filled when Mr Jonathan was named as acting president.

However, there was constant tension between Mr Yar'Adua's supporters, from the Muslim north, and those of Mr Jonathan, from the largely Christian south, and in March Mr Jonathan dissolved the cabinet and later put his own team in place.

The BBC's Caroline Duffield, in Jos, central Nigeria, says President Yar'Adua will be fondly remembered as a quiet and softly-spoken man whose integrity was respected.

But in his last months, it was clear he was too ill to take decisions himself.

His family and closest political advisers had faced severe criticism and were accused of using him to hold on to power, says our correspondent.

KIDI KENYI:

Two things are involved. (1) your father must be a drunkard or mentally retarded or both (2) your mother must be the nagging type that does not allow sleeping dog lay or she must be hiding something that the man already know. 33 years of marriage is enough for even a mad man or woman to get heal or become so use to his /her madness. Is a pity you are going through the sharmful act from your parent and please be careful with your own family.

wudd:

hmmmm, true, well lady cabal or no cabal , la don de cabal de caput. atleast nothing for her now except if she marries IBB ,,,omo that combination go bad gan oh, maradona + queen cabal = gengen gengen. lol make em go sleep. God pass em.

bluebunnie:

Nobody's stoning her to death. Call a spade a spade ant stop petting the situation. Stop looking for excuses to justify her wrong doing. Admit it. Its wrong.

thelion1:

What money will cause!!

thelion1:

Beyonce. . . . . . i dream of F ing her!!