₦airaland Forum

DatCuteGuy:
I want some, you cock head!


Learn to speak for yourself next time, quit generalising cock pit!



Irrelevant topics everywhere!

aloobright17:
You should be saying 18 months,besides is only kids that are scared of having babies,don't worry when you grow up like me you'll understand the importance of babies.for now explaining it to you will be a waste.

aloobright17:
Mrcork whata fvuk are u talking about here?abeg speak for yourself.

Berlyn:
smh u need help coork ... I didnt bleach my skin Goat

ellacute45:
I edited it already
A mistake

Berlyn:
i hope u don't get married to a bleached lightskined bae someday

Berlyn:
. you want me to chop ban abi.... Evul

alexistaiwo:
Witchcraft is real

STFUareyouG0d:
why you always talking about seeex?

You go about everywhere on Nairaland begging girls for seex. You don't have girls in pekam?

TheLastIdiot:
Nigerian girls are not smiling o, even in this harsh economic situation

Yesterday being Saturday, i decided to hang out a while. I was sipping my cold goldberg peacefully at one of the joints in town when my phone rang, saw it was a flash and decided to call back to knw who flashed me since I didn't save d number. I got to knw it was a girl I met a week ago, Jennifer, a student of Uniben as she claimed (because I've strong doubt now). She asked me where I was and i told her the place, giving her description. In less than 40 mins she appeared on a keke. I paid for her fare and asked her what she wuld like to have. She requested for the biggest size of the peppered fish that was available, with cabbage and other spicy stuffs (3, 500 naira). She also asked for 2 bottles of Snap drinks (500 naira) i come look am with one kain bad eye,when she talk that one. I don vex by that time.

Nonetheless, I didn't bother much because I thought both of us wuld still be the ones to enjoy the delicious fish. I started realizing the scam when she insisted that she want to take the fish home so that her friends culd share with her, saying they're "friends for life" E come be like say na film i dey watch. My eyes come dey turn me up and down because Naija economy no get joy now.

What was on my mind now was to make her pay for her greed in the bedroom because the waitress clearly stated that there were other cheaper ones but she displayed greed by going for the pocket-wrecker package!

I was now thinking of how to convince her to sleep over at my house since it's weekend. i gathered courage and made the request. To my greatest surprise, she didn't object but said she wuld get to her house first and drop the fish for her friends. My adrenaline was high! I stopped the nearest keke after footing the bills. She was directing the keke rider. we got to a street and she asked the keke rider to stop in front of a house, she requested that I give her 2k to sort out some things with her friends. I didn't hesitate since she wuld be sleeping at my place. She went into the building and that was the end! I waited for long, by then, the keke man was getting worried. I went into the building and discovered that the fence at the back of the compound had fallen. I met a young man washing clothes who told me she saw the girl entering the next street through the building. When I told him that she's the one I've bin waiting for, he told me that people normally pass through the compound to the next street, that it's a short-cut road!

Each time I call her line and the other line she flashed me with, different girls keep picking the calls, telling me that is it because of my small money that I'm disturbing their lines! I now feel she belongs to a cartel of runs girls who will stop at nothing to milk any hustling guy dry. I've made a resolution that any day I see her anywhere as far as we are both in this country, I'll make sure she vomits my 6k in cash or kind! No be 4 dis harsh economy o!

ellacute45:
just stop

MUVA:
You don't want kids, I do. Badly

Berlyn:
coork! Coork coork how many times did i call you stop stalking

ellacute45:
Quit quoting me please

ellacute45:


Make una add another goal

JerryGonzalez:
I leave ha forrr u..what about ellacute45

...bro am a nice guy....i need two more round wit Ellacute45 and guess wot....


[size=20pt] . SHE ALL YOURS!!! [/size]




!!

Berlyn:
it happened to me and I want to hear other people's view to make me feel relief,

I was falsely accused, for trying to break up a friend and his girlfriend now {ex girlfriend}

JerryGonzalez:
Thing is the mods here are like demi-gods and people think it's a sin to pronounce their affections for them mods..I am not talking about anything fucckkeding or so just pure love without hate

Hermanie:
I'm Nigerian
But I'll like to know, why did you think of me as a Ghanaian ?

Audray:
Until I see you and Cork viewing at the SAME TIME will I bliv that u ain't him.But 'till then;YOU ARE HE!!!
*modified*
Doesnt matter anymore.U two are the same breed.

sarrki:
Lagos big boy king black of house of cash,has dropped some new photos and video..but my question why are these African beauty doing this because of money...bro is not fair u abusing someone future wife...one word for him
But wait a minute who are we to blame the guy or the shameless girls.Lol life is simple

Hermanie:
Da fuc k is mrcork ?

TrapQueen77:
u sound like mrcork...





Ooopps.... BUSTED

Beemhan:
calm down bro, even a ten-yr-old would understand that this has got nothing to do with homosexuality, if u think it does kindly pass pls. btw, homophobia will do u no gud

Beemhan:
DOUBLE TROUBLE: A man claims to have two
full-functioning joysticks
Snakes and lizards have what is called
hemipenes, which is essentially a two-headed
penis.
Two joysticks might sound pretty wild, but the
deformity does occur in some humans as well.
One man who claims to have two fully-functional
joysticks goes by the name DiphallicDude or
DoubleDickDude – which has morphed into just
DDD online.
He has kept his identity a secret, but it is known
that he is American and in his mid-20s.
Last year he started a AMA (ask me anything) on
Reddit and the revelations of life with two 10-inch
joysticks in shocking to say the least.
On the enlightening feed he reveals that he is an
attractive bisexual who lives in a party.
He has a full-time girlfriend and boyfriend and the
trio enjoy an active sex life.
"I've been in a serious relationship with a girl and
a guy for a while now," he said.
"I call it monogamous because we are exclusive.
She enjoys it. The three girls before her enjoyed
it."
Tripple D, who claims to have had sex with more
than 1,000 partners, also says that straight men
turn bi-curious around him.
And when he ejacultes he shoots 12 times from
both of his working joysticks.
Here DiphallicDude answers some of his most
commonly asked questions.
GETTY
BIG BOY: Triple D claims that both of his dongs
are 10 inches long
1. How did you end up with two joysticks and do
they both work?
"Both are 100% functional. What I was born with
is called Diphallia.
"I did NOT absorb a twin. It's not genetic or
inherited.
"I am bisexual and in a committed relationship
with a man and a woman, but have permission to
stray only with James Franco... wherever he is.
"
2. Are there any possible complications you have
to watch for?
"My prostate gets inflamed if I don't ejaculate
enough.
"I'm probably the only guy with a legit reason to
orgasm at least once every day or two days.
"My prostate gets stimulation from both c*** and
creates a lot of seminal fluid.
"So when I ejaculate it has to be squeezed every
few days to get all the excess out otherwise it
feels bloated and painful."
3. Have you ever peed and had both do the forked
stream? That's a catastrophe with just one penis,
I can't imagine how annoying it must be with four
streams?
"Yeah it's happened and is twice as devastating."
4. Do you have a favourite?
"Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge
against me for it too. lol"
5. Have you ever just surprised a partner with
them? Just for shock value of 'oh, yeah, forgot to
mention I have two wieners'.
"In my teens, yeah. It was priceless."
TROUSER SNAKE: The American lives in a
party with a man and a woman
6. Can one be hard and the other not?
"Always starts that way. Left one starts to get
semi first, then stops at a certain point.
"Right one then gets rock hard and if I'm Hot
enough the left one will continue to stiffen up and
get bigger.
"Once or twice, with a cock ring on, they've both
been equally hard."
7. Instead of a morning wood, do you get a
morning forest?
Yes, sometimes I wake up and they are both hard.
8. How do women react when they find out?
"Varies from girl to girl.
"Some have been like WOW. Some have been like
THATS FAKE! Some have freaked out like, called
me names.
"Most are pretty curious.
"For the most part, girls were nervous and some
changed their mind at the last minute.
Dudes NEVER change their mind, they always
want it even if they're freaked out a little. lol."
9. When you helicopter, is it really super
impressive, or does having an extra rotor just get
in the way?
"Lol if I'm totally soft, it's impressive. Getting
them to go different directions, thats something
I'd love to be able to do, but can't
so, what do y'all think? Blessing or curse
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/453591/Man-two-joysticks-sex-bisexual-answers-questions

Incrizz:
Excuse you

Incrizz:
FREEDOM is so delicious but
Companionship is just so IT!
I would not miss freedom one day if I can have this:

MY FANTASY :
We'd meet today.
Get married tomorrow.
And begin the knowing each other every other day.
Literally.
After 7years of courtship, some relationships still do break right? So what's the point of all that

TYPE OF WEDDING:
Me, him and two witnesses.
I got nothing against big and family weddings but...
Gosh! Getting all those "people in the village", whom you don't even know from Adam, involved in your life all of a sudden in the name of wedding is so not it!

DREAM FAMILY
Husband, wifey and 4kiddos; 2boys and 2girls.
In this Buhari economy?
Ehhh...in this God's economy yeahhh.

DREAM LIFE:
Housewife with a personal business funded by Hubby.
It has to be funded and set up by Hubby
Why?
SoOo that the love can flow and be delicious, come on!
A happy wife makes a happy home. One of the coolest form of happiness comes when Hubby spends on wifey.
The business thingy would ensure that Mummy is always around kiddos in the way a Mummy should.
*Gosh who needs househelps*

IDEAL MAN:
Age:
1975-1982
This isn't too much too ask for is it? I mean there are still responsible single men in this category right
Belief:
Jesus is the Son of God.
*Gosh how can you say The One Who created you does not exist?? I don't get it
Fidelity Status:
The kind of man who would never cheat on his woman.

PRAYER
That God, The Keeper Of Life will keep us to see kiddos' children in prosperity and health with territories.
Amen.


So what do ya think of my fantasy? Is it farfetched or something??
Please no insult.
Thenk

STFUareyouG0d:
wow! Never knew


But I think she likes you tho. And she wants to mate with you. Maybe she's shy