₦airaland Forum

Aderoy:
PART 5: YOUR DAD
1. I am glad your dad has been found.
2. I am aware that you and your sister love you dad, and as you alluded to, his mental state and mood is improved by the sheer happiness of him seeing and welcome his children.
3. I absolutely agree with you and your sister’s resolution. I do not make any assumptions about your situation, but if you and/or your sister have the means make a suggestion to this 3rd non-partisan party who will arbitrate in the family matter that you are both ready to take dad out of his current toxic state, and as part of the agreement, you decide that a portion of the income from his estate (say 50%) will go towards looking after his wellbeing. That should be in the presence of the mediator, and preferably signed by all parties.


GENERALL – FOR ALL
1. What I have noticed over the years, in my time in Nigeria and now abroad, is the quantum leap in religious beliefs, reverence to ‘men of God’ almost to the point of occultist penchant, little spirituality and pure unadulterated love for our fellow human. We are human ‘beING’, not human ‘doING’. If we can all drastically reduce the religious ‘doINGS’ and replace them with just being, we’ll all be better for it. An example, it is not the place of a Pastor or Imam to hold his/her congregation to ransom over his/her pet projects to the detriment of the families in his/her congregation not being able to afford the children’s school fees. I have seen and experienced these many times and became poisoned (in my mind) for not being able to speak out at the injustice perpetrated repeatedly. The common comeback is ‘Touch not my anointed’ and I didn’t for years want to be against the anointed either coming from a religious family. Today, I say without any judgement that there are so many so-called ‘anointed’ out there whose sole purpose is not the wellbeing of the ‘members’ but the size of their bank balance and/or that next shiny gadget or building. All these to the detriment of every single family and child in their fold.
2. If you are the type that spends most of your non-working time (I assume you currently have a job or studying so pardon me if that is incorrect) in church every day of the week and sometimes nights, please take a step back today and ask yourself these pertinent questions. Whatever you then decide to do afterwards, at least you’d be glad you took stock:
• What is my purpose in life and why am I here?
• Why do my colleagues seem to get irritated when I suddenly fall asleep or snooze beside them at work?
• Why do I seem to get complaints all the time about my performance at work? Do they really dislike me that much or could this have to do with me not being able to give my 100% attention at work and consequently my performance is failing without my awareness?
• How many hours have I spent in improving my skills, learning new things, reading, walking and being one with nature, improving my physical and mental wellbeing, improving my spiritual standing (stress spiritual, not religious activities) in comparison to the number of hours spent in church or mosques. I humbly opine that your spirituality isn’t determined by the number of hours you spend in church or mosque but the quality of time one spends in elevating your spiritual consciousness and continuously realigning, and striving to achieve, a balance in one’s body-mind-spirit.
3. I’ll encourage everyone reading this to watch a YouTube movie ‘The Shift – by Dr. Wayne Dyer’. I’m fully aware of the challenges of electricity supply in Nigeria so even if it requires having to see a few minutes at a time over a few weeks, then you’d be glad you did.
4. For those who have access to Netflix, you may also check out the series ‘The Story of God with Morgan Freeman’, assuming the series is made available wherever you are. This should hopefully help you understand religious tolerance amongst all faiths and none
5. You are loved, you are unique. You are here for a reason. Whatever your religious affiliation is, let the light in you reflect as a mirror back to you in every person you come across in this journey.

I leave you all with the true meaning of the word ‘NAMASTE’, which perfectly sums up our connections as humans at a deeper level. You may not know me, but the light within me recognises and honours the light within you.
Let that energy form and pure light in you shine wherever you go. Namaste

Aderoy:
PART 5: YOUR DAD
1. I am glad your dad has been found.
2. I am aware that you and your sister love you dad, and as you alluded to, his mental state and mood is improved by the sheer happiness of him seeing and welcome his children.
3. I absolutely agree with you and your sister’s resolution. I do not make any assumptions about your situation, but if you and/or your sister have the means make a suggestion to this 3rd non-partisan party who will arbitrate in the family matter that you are both ready to take dad out of his current toxic state, and as part of the agreement, you decide that a portion of the income from his estate (say 50%) will go towards looking after his wellbeing. That should be in the presence of the mediator, and preferably signed by all parties.


GENERALL – FOR ALL
1. What I have noticed over the years, in my time in Nigeria and now abroad, is the quantum leap in religious beliefs, reverence to ‘men of God’ almost to the point of occultist penchant, little spirituality and pure unadulterated love for our fellow human. We are human ‘beING’, not human ‘doING’. If we can all drastically reduce the religious ‘doINGS’ and replace them with just being, we’ll all be better for it. An example, it is not the place of a Pastor or Imam to hold his/her congregation to ransom over his/her pet projects to the detriment of the families in his/her congregation not being able to afford the children’s school fees. I have seen and experienced these many times and became poisoned (in my mind) for not being able to speak out at the injustice perpetrated repeatedly. The common comeback is ‘Touch not my anointed’ and I didn’t for years want to be against the anointed either coming from a religious family. Today, I say without any judgement that there are so many so-called ‘anointed’ out there whose sole purpose is not the wellbeing of the ‘members’ but the size of their bank balance and/or that next shiny gadget or building. All these to the detriment of every single family and child in their fold.
2. If you are the type that spends most of your non-working time (I assume you currently have a job or studying so pardon me if that is incorrect) in church every day of the week and sometimes nights, please take a step back today and ask yourself these pertinent questions. Whatever you then decide to do afterwards, at least you’d be glad you took stock:
• What is my purpose in life and why am I here?
• Why do my colleagues seem to get irritated when I suddenly fall asleep or snooze beside them at work?
• Why do I seem to get complaints all the time about my performance at work? Do they really dislike me that much or could this have to do with me not being able to give my 100% attention at work and consequently my performance is failing without my awareness?
• How many hours have I spent in improving my skills, learning new things, reading, walking and being one with nature, improving my physical and mental wellbeing, improving my spiritual standing (stress spiritual, not religious activities) in comparison to the number of hours spent in church or mosques. I humbly opine that your spirituality isn’t determined by the number of hours you spend in church or mosque but the quality of time one spends in elevating your spiritual consciousness and continuously realigning, and striving to achieve, a balance in one’s body-mind-spirit.
3. I’ll encourage everyone reading this to watch a YouTube movie ‘The Shift – by Dr. Wayne Dyer’. I’m fully aware of the challenges of electricity supply in Nigeria so even if it requires having to see a few minutes at a time over a few weeks, then you’d be glad you did.
4. For those who have access to Netflix, you may also check out the series ‘The Story of God with Morgan Freeman’, assuming the series is made available wherever you are. This should hopefully help you understand religious tolerance amongst all faiths and none
5. You are loved, you are unique. You are here for a reason. Whatever your religious affiliation is, let the light in you reflect as a mirror back to you in every person you come across in this journey.

I leave you all with the true meaning of the word ‘NAMASTE’, which perfectly sums up our connections as humans at a deeper level. You may not know me, but the light within me recognises and honours the light within you.
Let that energy form and pure light in you shine wherever you go. Namaste

KristaPretty:
Kukuma say "good PM" case closed

IbrahimSkiba:
Okay

DaySpringer:
Arsene Wenger is not supposed to be there.

Having one Invincibles season and just three premier league titles in 20+ years in a particular league with the last one coming close to a decade before his retirement is a reason not to have him there.

Now with that being said,
My top Premier League Managers are in the following order.

1. Sir Alex Ferguson
2. Pep Guardiola
3. Jose Mourinho

shomutuski:
Good morning Everyone!! So i went through all 14 threads opened on this topic and I've decided to share my own story, I'm sure you can denote real life story from cooked up B.S.
I wasn't in any relationship from my university period, single too stupor enjoying myself spending the money on my siblings and mum. Fast forward to graduation and nysc. I started talking to a girl in my department!! Actually i got attracted to her because she's always quiet and doesn't roll with the crowd plus her circle of friends were solid. Fast forward we were posted to the same state for service**Abuja**
Her name was S, actually that's the first letter of her name. In camp we were inseparable, i genuinely loved her like mad. People listen, love will humble you ooo chaii, we spent most of our evenings together at maami market. Our first kiss was memorable, as we were rounding up in camp she told me she'll be deploying back to S.W on health grounds i was dissapointed well. Me that was in love wanted to continue so i told her let's make it a long distance relationship.

Mind you i was posted to a petroleum organisation which the salary for a corper was okay considering nysc still paid us.

I had a discussion with my father he explained on why i needed to save and bring money home so we can work on my travelling since my brother is in the Kuwait . From dubai, we take a night bus to and just vanish. You know the naija way naa..
Intermission***
I want to pass a message to all and sundry! Please know how to separate yourself from emotions and love oo. E get why.
All the plans went through my ears cus I was in love.

I'll list all my fuckups
1. I left my family house where i wasn't paying rent and got an expensive apartment because babe is coming to Abuja and i also furnished it.
2. I curved all the girls around me, babes were over me like flies but i was suffering from oneitis. Not like this babe is 4/10 sef but love nah mugu.
3. I travelled from abuja almost 15 times to S.W to see babe spending money on shopping, hotels and gifts for her family.
4. I didn't listen to my friends even her friend told me things but like they say love is blind.
5. My service year i didn't give my mum a dime, i cried like mad. Someone i was always sorting steady steady. Only thing i got was an Adidas sneakers and one oud perfume like that. My mother still prayed like mad for me.
6. My babe put me under unnecessary pressure asking for money, bvtch was so entitled ehen. Saying stuffs like shey you're fucking me, me that's always making you squirt for free.
7. Wasted all my savings and even borrowed to maintain my lifestyle with babe, i survived accident too. Well that was my first love, i always go out of my way to take care of people i love. I'm just smart with it now.
8. I'm sure she made sacrifices for me too but I'm counting my own here, dating an entitled woman is wahala oooo.
9. A lady of interest came all the best way from Edo state to stay with me in Abuja. I told her i was in a relationship and i chased her back.
10. My female neighbors wanted a piece of corper but i curved them all...
11. Pussies plenty for both ppa and CDs but i was in lovr. Odeee jati jati
12. Lost my dads respect because i went to Abuja empty handed and came back that way.. Had to prove myself all over again.
Babe came to Abuja oo to celebrate her birthday with me, nah me still flex am.

We're preparing dinner and i had to go get fish for us to make spag while i was gone, she took my phone and listened to the vn her friend sent to me asking why i was in a relationship with her. She was livid buh i calmed her down, i kept wondering why that night, i took her phone and went through her whatsapp that was when i knew i wasted my 2019. She hooked up with one dude like that when she did inec excercise. I pressed her about it she said they didn't have sex but the dude gbola they your hand. Women will embarrass you, Right at that moment all the lessons my father. Friends and red pillers tried to teach me just sinked in, i updated my OS, from there i knew there's nothing like fairy tale love in this world. No one is going to be 100 percent honest with you. I did forgive her yes! She went back to lagos and i started counting my losses, even professional courses i was supposed to do, i didn't. I was foolish that year walahi. I know some of y'all will read this and wonder how a man can be so gullible for love. I saw so many red flag but i did not pay attention. I was dead broke and this babe offered to borrow me 5k, person wey i put for salary.... Smh.
We continued the relationship but i developed serious trust issues and insecurities that still bothered me till today, my only escape is always having it in mind that my partner will be a potential cheater so i don't get surprised when it happens.
My calls and text reduced drastically and she noticed, she picked up the ante and started reciprocating back then she told me i was insecured cus i called and texted too much. She even offered to do video calls and show me nudes. Buh i was mentally exhausted from it all. I moved on so damn quick ehen...
I thank God today that most of the things, i missed out on i can do now for my family and myself. I worked on myself, bought clothes and good shoes something i didn't even do when i had mad cash in abj, I took the professional courses and i have four different certifications. I got a job but this corona is holding me down, i started consultancy business and above all! I find joy in taking my mum and sis out on dinner dates. Most times i cry when i take my sis out but no one understands.
I even had to lie to my dad that i invested in btc that's why i lost my savings. No be lie, that relationship na Crypto.. Lmao.
I took one lesson out of it all, I'm capable of loving without caution so when the right person comes. She'll be the luckiest woman on earth.
I'm still not smart but at certain point my experience always comes in. I can't make such sacrifices again except for my mama and sis.
Leaving a bad relationship would make you not want to waste your time and energy again i tell you....
People will call me mugu but i did all that for love and it lasted just one year.

To all struggling guys out there, Abeg hold on to your mum ooo. That's the only person that loves you unconditionally with all your flaws broke or not, fine or not. She'll hold you down till a real queen comes. Mommy I'll always love you, she's the only person that helped me overcome all my mumuness. I can't forget that babe from edo too. I shut her out. Wura forgive me.

kingsaif:
hmmm
Spent soo much on this girl, i do give her my last dime just to make her happy, i met her when thing were going well in my life, but eversince things turned a lil rough for me, the babe just dey behave like phone wen calibrator no good. Imagine a girl i planned on sponsoring to high institution.

small thing now na argument, the last time i called her she even rejected my call.

Babe wen be my ride and die woooo.
but thank God i don leave her for the relationship alone.

i have forgiven her whole heartedly.
my prayers for her is may God punish her and her new boyfriend
I pray anything she lays her hand on should be a disaster, i pray dey leak her nudes, i pray dey hack her bank account.
i don move on sha

Blexino:
coward!!! no i mean pigward

Realhommie:
Bought pant and bra for my then ex..
Also sent my last dime and went starving afterwards.

ezewealth:
Sent 10k to my babe to celebrate hr birthday since i wasnt chanced to celebrate with her, na so de she boned no even call me to tell she hav received d alert n i was thinking d money didnt go thru. whilst, my cousin dat gave birth i gave hr 2,500. N she calling me as if i gave million. The following i ask her whether she received alert she said "yes thank u"

DaRuud:
I met this girl ( an undergraduate , year 2) while I was doing my NYSC , I refuse to date any fellow Corp member because I felt I have found true love , Immediately I finished my NYSC , i secured a job In Abuja , I promised to come back and make things formal with her, ( marriage ) .
One day , I travelled from Abuja to Zaria to see her with lots of expensive dresses ,
Upon arriving Zaria , she told me I can't see her cos she's in love with a guy who is always there for her . I was left heart broken , .

Few years back , she called and want to come back but no way .

Omotaday:
Couldn’t eat for two days because we were having issue. I wonder how someone could have had such control over me.

danduchi:
You all don't know what God has done for you all oo.
One time, many years ago, I traveled to calabar to go see this girl. She picked me from the parked and we got to her one bedroom apartment, nice and cozy. I baff, wear singlet and boxer, crossed leg on the table changing TV channels.
2 secs my girl received a call, followed by a knock on the door. It was very obvious he paid for the apartment from the look on his face. My girl just said 'I'm sorry Dan'.
I got dressed, this guy and my girl dropped me off at the park. I reached PH by almost 11pm.
So Me go calabar to just go baff, I can't still believe it.

julieeni:
I knew before we got married but I was in love

penisilin:
Like someone said - it has been flogged very very well but women matter will continue to flog men as long as them still get yansh and bleast cool.

One of my many mumuness.

It was 2000, I was very young (after SSCE) and had a girl crushing on me but for reasons known to only God & devil, I just no send the babe.

But for the mumuness in me, I was seriously pursuing one yeye girl because of her yansh so tey in my bid to win her favor, I took a family cherished flask and made a sumptuous chocolate beverage with bread and sardine (from money I fapped from my sister) for her on a rainy day.
I told her from our balcony that I was coming with the goodies and she beckoned on me to come quickly. Only for me to reach her house, she asked to carry the flask follow her until we reach her boyfriend house angry. She jumped on him and said "Thank you Ola, shebi you have given me the flask" and they shut the door while I was standing there and smiling like Ganduje.

Anger no gree me sleep for 2 days

penisilin:
Like someone said - it has been flogged very very well but women matter will continue to flog men as long as them still get yansh and bleast cool.

One of my many mumuness.

It was 2000, I was very young (after SSCE) and had a girl crushing on me but for reasons known to only God & devil, I just no send the babe.

But for the mumuness in me, I was seriously pursuing one yeye girl because of her yansh so tey in my bid to win her favor, I took a family cherished flask and made a sumptuous chocolate beverage with bread and sardine (from money I fapped from my sister) for her on a rainy day.
I told her from our balcony that I was coming with the goodies and she beckoned on me to come quickly. Only for me to reach her house, she asked to carry the flask follow her until we reach her boyfriend house angry. She jumped on him and said "Thank you Ola, shebi you have given me the flask" and they shut the door while I was standing there and smiling like Ganduje.

Anger no gree me sleep for 2 days

julieeni:
I'm over it now, at least I didn't give in to thoughts of commiting suicide I used to hate him and wish him death, but not anymore because I have forgiven him and I wish him well, but he will never see his son again.

julieeni:
yes, I gave him a son, he got a place and moved in with another woman while I was with his parents. Didn't know about it until when he was posted to Abuja and we had to join him, that was when I knew he still got a house there in Abuja and moved in with same lady, while I was hustling for money to give to him to rent at least a room for us... everything came out in the open anyway and I had to come back to my parents. He got married to the lady few months after I left and she put to birth around Nov. My worse mistake

Osobi32:
Honestly I can't write about it coz I will get loads of insults here...... Each time I reflect on the things I've done for love it breaks my heart. Love is a serious mental illness! God forbid

Stevecreativex:
Me if I remember I use to smile and swear for her with my smile
She's grace, fondly called Gracey, I met this werey when I was serving at Abuja 2014, But with the way we met seems like God wanted us together.

She works where I did my PPA, The first day we met I was working on some files and she was kinda asking her colleague who Steve is when she walked up to my desk, she called my name I looked up and she lost it like I could remember we both lost at each other for like 60 seconds before the lady sitting beside me called her name loud( that one don grab watin dey sup)

To cut the past lost story short.. we started talking we exchange contact and weeks later we started dating... Later she came over to the apartment whey I rented, I could tell her reaction she does not like the place (it single room thou )

Months later our relationship became so close that people started noticing in the office, exactly August they paidsalary and to my surprise, as we were going home together she gave me her August salary asked me to add some few bucks to it I should move out of the one-room apartment am staying saying she doesn't want me sharing toilet and bathroom...

Like I was wow. To be very honest that night I was so happy to the extent I had to cut all my spouse contact off and focus on only her... Like that night I vowed not to cheat on her ever...

So I finished my NYSC in Abuja and luckily my PDTF scholarship application was successful I was preparing to move over to Greece for my masters...

I and Gracey parted ways but we still dating, we call each other text each other... Months later I started sending money to grace for our building project, all the money I sent was around £125,500+ (54,233,804.62 nairas)

During this process, grace sends me pictures of the land she brought and how the construction is going on.....

To round up this painful crab only for me to come back home to meet my wife, married with a kid...

I arrested her and all she could say was "she thought I was just joking with her" that she never thought I still love her... Out of 54m, she could only recover 2.5m...

I was hospitalized for two weeks then... I sort I almost died the shock and trauma almost killed me... But thank God later I just have to return to Greece and start all over again... But what she did then is still the reason why am single today...

The truth sef is I insult any Nigerian girls I see in Greece... Nigerian girls in Greece are all lonely so anyone of then that comes across Nigeria guys is always waiting to be loved but I can't stop hating them...

The trauma still lives..

Amarabae:
Why are men not romantic between themselves like calling themselves sweet names like we ladies. Lolz

Millenniumlady:
The man just played himself he'll leave to regret the curse of his actions.......how dare you take side With your mother when i'm your wife which automatically makes me your new mum ......Ladies never you marry a guy that's so close to his mum if you want a successful marriage.