₦airaland Forum

cruchenutii:
Baba Nla ! Odogwu ! Omena Dollars ! I just hope you also have money to go with your high state oh.

No free meal in free town oh !

Lol. No money my brother. High taste doesn't imply slay queen. It means people who are of a giving level of maturity and standard you seek for.

Most slay queens are ladies who use make up to raise their standards. On deeper examination, you may discover she have nothing to offer.

I prefer to be alone than be with a lady who doesn't think. I enjoy when people think creatively.
That's why I have been dying for this lady @Pocohantas. I enjoy her creative thinking and writing skills.

So bro, Just understand what you want and it becomes high class.

Filipinobaba:
I am not surprised at this post my dear... Keep it up... Changing monikers to wash your dirty linen in public will Do u no good. U make my life a living hell and you expect me to smile and clap hands for you. #WifeForSale send me a mail if interested mtchewww

Young man, why have you allowed your wife to feel this way. You are a man and should manage your home. Both of you are on nairaland yet you can't seem to learn anything from whole lot of threads making front page.

Please stop insulting yourselves online. It's shameful

ginikagreene:
If only I have the guts to cheat, I will do so without remorse but thank God for the kind of lady you married.

I make your life a living hell Really

Okay, I'm sorry about that and now you are free to do whatever you want, have all the fun you want and do whatever you like. I DONT CARE...

I have found solace on nairaland, please just let me be here...thank you

This is internet, it doesn't forget. Both of you should stop insulting yourselves online. And you are a lady, learn to follow due process in settling issues. If you are tired of the marriage, kindly approach a customary court and they will duly end the marriage.

If you don't like some of his attitude, then approach his people and lay your complain. Nairaland is not for both of you alone.

supersystemsnig:
Nope, no one should tag along with anyone in expectation of change. But rather, a tolerance level must be done, can i bear this baggage, when process is done? Trust, me even the saintest of saints have baggages... I mean to say, if a person is open to corrections, change, improvements, repentance, then that's a good stuff with great potential. How come with lesser wisdom than this generation, the previous generation was able to have marriages however volatile or not? Knowledge when it's too much causes its bearer sorrow.


Anyways communication is key and if two people can communcate effectively, they can discuss their fears, and deal with it, cause trust me, in relationships, business negative mental pictures would come up from time to time, to the matured ones that talk their fears, there's no fear of these cumulative thoughts producing a reaction...because it's been dealt with, to folks that bottle things up and don't discuss their fears, they continue to have issues....If people are open and willing to work, relationships with work. Knowledge makes things seem too complex at times...

You are right but they are things people can't deal with. for instance I can't stay with a lady that smokes, or one that draws tattoo. Such thing alone is something I can't live with. Thus, there is nothing again to negotiate.

Marriage are for people who are compatible. People that can handle each other

supersystemsnig:
How's your day bro?

Fears,indecisiveness,insecurities and not working on weak aspects of our lives is/are an issue. Bro, tell me you haven't seen people who are completely incompatible and stay in a marriage? Volatile or not, spikes or not? I have seen incompatible people get married and they worked out.

It is not enough to discuss problems, we need to discuss the solutions. Yes,seemingly good people may not attract nice ladies many times ( that's the unprocessed ones though ), because they feel like he has no flaws to fix, hence i can have no place in his life. However everyone has a downside, perhaps the good guys is a guy that has mastered the camouflage of looking good, or circumstances hasn't revealed his weak areas. What matters is will, the will to be together, from here people can start.

When the will to be together is there, both parties can find the inner strength, will, resources and wisdom to build a relationship one brick at a time. Trying to forecast the future is crazy because if one party is unwilling to compromise, become tolerant and make things work, there's nothing that can be saved.


Now, if a guy meets a lady, what they should look for after the good sides, is the weak areas, can i cope with this baggage? Upon agreement, comes discussion, okay i can let's work on time, draw a road map and let's build the path forward. Unfortunately not everyone likes to change, traditional people hate change and would rather die than subject themselves to improvement...So, in conclusion, if people decide to work together, and have the will to accept they have weakness and will build it on the way, then bingo, a relationship can kickstart, what matters is the awareness of these shortcomings and the will to do something about them...May people are not aware about their conditions, and until it's revealed to them perhaps through life experiences, it's a waste of time to help them out...


So, let's not over-per-mutate and speculate and talk ourselves out of things before they happen. In the end, it comes down to will, and the choice to do something about the decision to being with a partner...Simple...


What do you think bro?

It's a great thought. In physics, there is what we call operators. Some are compatible operators while others are not. They all come from uncertainty principle. Something applies here. If two operators are not compatible, then the uncertainty on what will become of them increases. You can actually predict what will happen thereafter. Bro, marriage isn't like friendship. There are things I can tolerate in a partner and there are things that I can't tolerate.

I can't keep assuming she will change. I do not have the power to change people and I do not know when she started it and if she wants to change it.

pocohantas:
No, we can't all wait for Mr/Miss perfect. No one is indeed perfect, but the problem with people like this is...they try to fix problems that are more of psychological. Somehow they drag themselves into the mess and become the major wreck.

We all have that feeling of wanting to take the glory.
Some battles are not ours to fight, all in the name of love

Men most times don't have this time, but women are mostly the ones blackmailed into all this, with the virtuous woman talk.

The bold phrase seems to be the major reason.

You have spoken just the truth. Women really need to understand that they are so many things about men you can't change else you will just be living unhappy life everyday. Things like cheating, smoking, getting drunk, etc are things which is very hard to change in men. Anyone with it is already living with it.

But things like coming back late, eating some foods, late night calls, and other little things about men can easily be changed.

Same thing with women, most things about you guys are so difficult to change. What most men do is to see if there are ready to live with it. Someone like me don't have the strength to change anyone.

One rule in safety is Do not try to be a hero, save yourself first

pocohantas:
Most people will attack her...but she is right.
This is exactly what I was talking about @Mrphysics. The "I can fix him" mentality.

Lol. It's visible to the blind now.

Let me take it to the other side:
Is there a level of acceptance a lady can take before saying yes? What I mean is; seeing we are not all perfect and no one can comfortably say he/she found someone with 100% of what she/he is looking for, therefore, is there any particular trait that the lady can say, I can fix him?


Or should we all be waiting for mr perfect.

pocohantas:
Sometimes ladies are obsessed with the idea of changing a bad guy, like they are one psychiatrist ...

The bad guys are the lucky ones in relationships. They do anyhow and they always get away with everything. Only on rare occasions do things go south.

While the good ones are always complaining of one thing or the other. Being marginalized like they are ..........

Ladies are psychiatrists in some way. I am sure you will agree

pocohantas:
How did she miss all that during courtship?
Narcissism is pretty difficult to conceal.

Perhaps she was drunk in love which they say is blind.
I am sure these days, love now have 1 terabyte mega pixel camera

To be updated soon

L3G3ND:
well then different strokes for different folks

Good you know

ezteem:
Well call me a hater but it's a forum so I can say shit and run away. It's looks like the girl is just looking to get married. Doesn't even look love happy.... she looks marriage happy . Your brother will spend the rest of his life trying to impress her .

Okay. Mrphysics have noticed your presence. Congratulations for winning 15 seconds of my time

L3G3ND:
talk of marriage?

at 25 a guy is expected to at least have a source of income even though his parents can tip in frm time to time and in the events of that not happening there is a change in the way he's seen around the home

True but they still know he is part of the house. Nnamdi Kanu at age 50 is still leaving with his parents. It's a clear example. Ladies receive preferential treatment at a tender age, but when time advances, men takes over

L3G3ND:
well I know of some families where the ladies are dotted on by their parents especially the fathers

Not when they have reached 25 years and above

nkemdi89:
Lol who are the we ?

We is us. Onye ajuju.

ProfEinstein:
the wife still looks fresh and unharvested, ggoodluck to him as he harvests that punna

Bros, Einstein was harvesting physics not the other way round

Viccur:
bro na lie. Oya tear me one lie say u no like the big Boobs/Butt

What Iike may not be what you like. It's a fact

In most cases, men are treated better. I hate it when I am given such treatment simply because I am a man.

It's just culture and should not be so

zaramgrand:
These days most men Now see it as something compulsory for women to contribute in the family, a woman's support is meant to come in Wen the husband is having some difficulties and this should happen in rare occasions....i see no reason y a man who can't carry the finances of the family will still claim to be the head, I mean Wat is he heading?

Sorry to ask, how old are you? If you are below 25, then it's the reason why such a thought came to your mind. If you are above 25, then you need to examine how you came to this point in life. If you are 25, the you need to start associating with reasonable people who will offer you meaningful things in this life.

autotrader014:
Because she looks natural? All this fake ass girls every were.. because say she didn't expose her boobs like u, and use all the make up in this world? Vain girls every were, beautiful heads with empty brains..

True talk bro. Don't mind them

nkemdi89:
Not at all .

Don't worry, he will soon propose. But if he refuses to do that, let me know, so we can...

Viccur:
Why d lady com lack boobs and butt. Nawaoo

Moderation is the mother of contentment

nkemdi89:
Nice looking couple, 2017 is not over , my own decent husband will locate me in Jesus name.

Amen. Hope you are not dribbling him as we speak?

nurshah:
So single hood na bondage when the fine guy go escape..wish him a blesses union sha...u nko? When you go escape abi u still dey prison ?

my sister. can we escape together?

L3G3ND:
So you think marriage is the final destination for every lady?

No ma'am, but definitely not your parents house

DeadRat:
DREAMS ABOUT WOMEN, I DONT TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY... I Know I Will Get Married Some day... Am Just Being Cautious

When it comes to marriage, you need to be cautious. Just know what you want so you will be specific in your search

L3G3ND:
why?

Because is not your permanent place of abode

DeadRat:
have seen a particular lady in ma dreams more than twice. yet to meet her. ARE YOU MARRIED

Bro run away from those dream ladies. They are illusions, you won't see them.

To your question, no, I am not married boss

DeadRat:
i guess i was...

Get another one bro and make her the woman of your dream. Marriage is beautiful

CEEcey:
Nice but why is she on maternity gown abi no be pre wedding picture?

As I no come know pre-wedding gown now, how do I respond

DeadRat:
well I Dont have Any... The Last One Was An Ass

Ass indeed. You must be an ass keeper.
Sorry bro, go for the next one in queue

DeadRat:
What A Beautiful Couple? I Really Wanna Be Married Some Day... I Want A Sweet Woman

That your girlfriend can be the woman you have been praying for