₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Mynd_44]What loff?[/quote]Why do you care?

MRbrownJAY: ^^^ Ok then, you girls won everything, and our individual GOLD is worthless, and only your individual SILVER and BRONZE matters....... Happy now?!

You are learning suga.

ocelot2006: Well, I have been married for a few months now. And it has been blissful so far. I guess one of the major reasons is that I married a woman who was my closest childhood friend (yep, ever since nursery school at Enugu). My wife not only loves and understands me dearly, but has always been, and will always be, my very best friend, confidant, and personal advisor. That woman is truely God's very best blessing for me.

As someone rightfully posted, marriage definitely makes one more responsible. Finance wise, you have not only more mouths to cater for, but also bills to pay, and savings to make for rainy days/future investments. On the homefront, i equally help out with house-chores when they're abit to much for wifey. Nothing stops me from cleaning the dishes after every lovely meal she prepares, or moving round the heavy furnitures when she cleans our home.

That said, i did notice that one has do a lot of compromising in marriage. And honestly, I'm not good at that. I still run my house as an absolute monarchy were the King's decree is final. But it is a malevolent (and slightly liberal) one as my queen has the right to advise me and make a lot of inputs, PROVIDED she runs her ideas by me.

Lawd my debate argument educated a man! Yes!

MRbrownJAY: Lol, Mrs C you are still on this stuff? Let it go!

Only when you let it go.

MRbrownJAY: we are all here to learn so: Can any of the posters on this thread give me ONE example of jealousy in r/ship that is NOT insecurity? Just one!

Lawd MBJ! You still debating?? You got your two extra points man!

Coasting: I wonder why parents sometimes interfer in marriages. Anyway, we always try to keep them at reasonable distance so that they dont influence us.

The early weeks of marriage are usually amazing. Just after honeymoon, I noticed various differences in my wife. Her character after wedding differed slightly from her character during courtship.

About 2weeks after honeymoon, we quarreled several times because most things we took for granted during courtship suddenly began to irritate us. It was from one quarrel to the other but with time we began to adjust to the reality that we are 2 different people with different background. We began to settle in and approach our issues with more maturity and deeper understanding about 2months after honeymoon was over.

Now, we live more in peace and love.

My advise is that newly weds should not allow thier early misunderstandings after honeymoon to affect thier happiness. Always sort out issues with your spouse and never give in to hatred because that can only worsen the union.

It is good that you and your wife decided to mature in your relationship but many things people do not understand regarding courtship. I am not saying this occur in your courtship...however many of us do not understand how to properly court our mate/partner. I always suggested that people start off as friends before getting serious...that is how my husband and I started.

My husband wanted a relationship right off the bat and I told him I am old school when it come to dating. I do not limit myself to one person until i am sure that one person is the winner. I am not saying have sex with each person you court...I suggest no sex but let be real....people Bleep on the first introduction!

Courtship isn't about establishing a title or status. It is about getting to know someone on a platonic level and with NO EXPECTATIONS. I didn't expect anything from my husband until after WE WERE ENGAGED..we have already established a status: ENGAGEMENT. However some people jump 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base right into home run not knowing the most important factors in the person whom they chose as their winner.

During the courtship, I learned from several guys about their families, financial literacy, education, political views, aspirations, expectations, short and long term goals, spiritual views, hobbies, favorite color, favorite sport, and social intelligence. It is important to know at least 20 of your partner's favorite things because little things matter! Learning about these things should occur during COURTSHIP not during MARRIAGE.

Marriage is a journey and new things will pop up daily! Free yourself from old baggage and allow your marriage the room it need to grow by embracing new challenges. However during the courtship, it is about learning from the old and REMOVING IT ALTOGETHER BEFORE STEPPING INTO A NEW CHAPTER. That's the issue MANY COUPLES HAVE TODAY because they do not properly courtship and hence their marriage experience turbulence.

I am not saying my marriage is perfect...but it is good! We have disagreements and discussions regarding negative outside influences and we may have different opinions about it but we work TOGETHER to remove static and come to an agreement because the last thing you want from your partner is resentment and regret. During the courtship, couples need to master the ART OF COMMUNICATION

My husband and I come from two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CULTURES but we learned to accept each other differences, embrace sameness, and thrive for teamwork prosperity. Marriage is a partnership and it requires 100% work on BOTH SIDES. If you can't handle partnership during courtship...how would you survive marriage?

Another thing people make a mistake during courtship....THINKING THAT ONCE WE GET MARRIAGE..SHE OR HE WILL CHANGE! OH MY GOODNESS! DON'T YOU GUYS REALIZE HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE HEARD THAT AND ONLY TO ATTEND MANY DIVORCE PARTIES?!!!

Trust me in America...many divorce parties are better than many weddings! Sad but true! Now Coast, you said that your wife changed after marriage....no she didn't. You didn't pay attention to the variety of her personality. When you meet someone you like and you think that person is the one for you..EVERYTHING IMPERFECT IS PERFECT! That's the allusion that honeymoon provides...you have never heard people complain about their honeymoon but you sure damn heard about them complain months after the marriage! Sound familiar huh?

My husband does some things that work my nerves but when we courted, it was the most beautiful thing in the world! However, we learned to talk about pet peeves, deal breakers, last straws, and no touch zones. We made a vow not to break any of them promises we made with each other and we have a mutual agreement of what will happen if such and such occur. It is all about effective communication and respect.

Another thing people in courtship do not work on....taking things personal and not letting go petty shit. It would be a time in your marriage that your partner would say some of the most hateful things imagined or unimagined! However if your partner is sincere then you can choose to forgive or move on. My husband and I have established a strategy on what we will do if we ever get to the point of hurting each other. We will walk away and cool off. Trust me when you are upset and angry...COMMON SENSE GOES OUT THE DOOR!

It is okay to walk away and cool off...LADIES! THIS IS FOR YOU...never chase an angry man! Trust me! Let him GOOOOOO! MEN, DO NOT CHASE YOUR WOMEN BUT YOU MUST EXPRESS THAT YOU ARE SORRY AND THAT YOU WILL BE HERE WHEN SHE WANTS TO TALK AND MAKE SURE YOU SAY THE WORD, I LOVE YOU. (only if you mean it) Women are emotional creatures so we respond off emotions well many of us do and expressing is emotion so therefore it bring us down from getting beside ourselves.

Have you ever met an overly-emotional woman? Enough said!


Courtship is about learning and growing before becoming serious and a team. It is a free pass to make a mistake and LEARN FROM IT before skipping down the aisle. The day you become serious is the say your would will change and emotions run high and expectations change therefore relationship either grow weak or stronger. I strongly recommend sexless courtship because it help when learning about a person that may be or may not be the person for you.

When having sex...you are giving a piece of yourself away and it is no longer yours. Why wouldn't you want to share that with the most important person in your life...your spouse? Sex is an addition to intimacy but true intimacy is about becoming one spiritually not physically.

I can go on and on....but my fingers tired!

One thing I have learned not to toy with a celibate man.

pendo89: I love it.
Means that One's reaction to a particular situation will tell if it stems from jealousy or love.
As in, if one behaves in a disordely,unprotective and violent manner, just to get his message across,it's obvious what the root cause is.
thanks

You welcome dearie.

abifoluwa: mrs chima always come off as a mean person on Nland, but sometimes, when she post replies, she is always sweet.
na wa o
anytime i am at school, and i see a nigerian lady with her laptop, i always conclude that is mrs chima, hence i am always scared of saying shit to the lmao

Awwwwww. I got you shaking in your boots huh? Well, it is not surprising that some people mistake bluntness with being mean. But hey!

Don't worry I won't bite you....I am not in NIgeria.

Omogbhollahorn: To be frank with u dis is d first time i would be impress with her comment they sounded different from our normal mrs chima comment,i believe d lord is taking her to a beta ground..it was so matured and explanatory

To be frank, many of my blunt posts isn't for the faint hearted and you liked the "mature" post because it has "serve" in it. There are hundreds of posts similar to the one above and you must "trend" the ones with me checking manbitches. It is okay many people like reading drama and forego the rest.

You speak about maturity and i hope you are not just the talker but also the doer.

donigspain: SO RIGHT...Especially the 'mature' part.

Make sure you practice what you preached, Drama King.

REALITY101: Thanks that's our next first Lady

She is not going to win.

Ann is hot!

ikekings: Nah... I want you to have that exact same thing that melts in your mouth....

Oh yes! I will be going to Starbucks to get a mug of Mocha with whipped cream in AM!

I can't wait!

ikekings: Can you have mine please?

What is it exactly do you want me to have? Your car?