₦airaland Forum

[quote author=D-sense link=topic=681793.msg8464950#msg8464950 date=1307367681]

[size=4pt]This woman needs urgent Rehab [/size][/quote]You need to kiss the fattest part of my arse.

What I have said that women shouldn't be subjected to bullshit and accepted being treated like an area rug and I wasn't speaking just for married women.  So again, do not assume.

And if you was referring to the bible scriptures in my comment it was to someone who claimed they knew the bible and I GAVE THEM THE CORRECT SCRIPTURES. The scriptures has nothing to do with my approach in marriage.

Sorry, you do not know what is my approach to marriage.  Do not assume.  And I do not care if you did or didn't insult me. It doesn't mean anything to me. Some things are like bread crumbs to me.

Yo' Amy, remember what I said on the last line of my comment to you.  That's real.

Amya:
I'm not married. I'm just a realist, i know these things. The chance of being in a perfect marriage is dwindling by the minute. You can never predict how your marriage will turn out even if the partner you intend marrying is as perfect as they come. Things always changes after marriage. It's better knowing it now so you can be able to manage it later. And won't be surprised if this Kandikane girl turns out to be a 17year old girl. She definitely sounds like one, no offense meant.

I am so joyous to see that I am not the only REALIST on NL. Thank you for sharing that because these mofos really don't know what they are not part of. It is easy saying oh I will do this and that but when the shit hit the fan its totally different. Life is full of surprises and curve balls.

I am sure those people who are divorced now in the WEST, EAST, SOUTH, and NORTH said the same thing. "It will be perfect and we will be eternity blissful." Hmm.

But some people have to live through to understand what you are saying though, unfortunately.

emmatok:
[b]
@SouthChi

I am begining to suspect you.

Your claims up there is wrong.

Their are more educated women in the west.

But  homosexuality more among American men than Nigerian men.

Violence again women is more common among American and European men .

What about fail marriages, single mothers e.t.c.

And yet western women are more educated.

Quit hating Nigerian Men.

emmatok:
[b]
@SouthChi

I am begining to suspect you.

Your claims up there is wrong.

Their are more educated women in the west.

But  homosexuality more among American men than Nigerian men.

Violence again women is more common among American and European men .

What about fail marriages, single mothers e.t.c.

And yet western women are more educated.

Quit hating Nigerian Men.

Homosexuality is looks down upon in Nigeria. Do you really think homosexuals would PUBLICLY announce they are gay/lesbians?  Come on now.  Epic fail!  

Women outnumbered men not because there aren't that many male births but because of the constant needs of wars and violence.  There will always be single women IN BOTH USA AND NIGERIA.  We do not know how many single women without accounting for every FEMALE and assessing marriage license.  Sorry boo boo.  

Domestic violence is equally in both America and Nigeria.  The harsh treatment of women in Nigeria are astounding and I do not blame them for fleeing either.  A sane person would flee from a harmful situation.  In America, women can take their husbands or boyfriends to jail and not worry about leaving with nothing because the system doesn't have the same oppressive system toward women than in Nigeria.  Let keep it real, you know that women in Nigeria leave with nothing after the divorce.  Do you really think a woman who can't support herself or has nowhere to go will ask for a divorce when problems on both side are unbearable?  Come on now.  Epic fail!

The law and divorce favoritism are the reasons why there are more noticeable divorces in the West as you calls it than in Africa.  DUH.

justwise:
[/b] Thank you so much!!!!! Some pple have this naive view about online meeting as if pple u meet online are from another planet. Its the same church member, class mate, work mate. Meeting somebody in church or prayer meetings wouldn't guarantee a successful rela/ship or marriage. His or her true character is not written on the forehead, the person can still lie and cheat. Online meeting is just a starting point that will lead to physical meeting and it moves on from there, the wedding is not going to take place online unless u are talking about virtual life here.

Slow down boo boo. Online dating isn't for everyone. Not everyone can handle online dating or chooses to. If it works for you, GOOD. Just like you think there is nothing wrong with online dating or hooking up, there are someone who disagrees with you. That's what make the world spin.

Online dating isn't the only thing people have pet peeves. There are people would not engage in blind dates, single cruises, single mixers, clubs, and public events for various reasons but that doesn't make them wrong because they do not engages in things YOU feel are right. Remember that.

Sorry, I just had to say this. I just read a comment on here that reminded me of a saying, "Kissing my arse will pay you a compliment".

Amya:
People are here, quoting bible passages and talking about submissiveness and all. The thing is, times have changed. What applied then(a 100 years ago and more), doesn't apply now. Then, the men brought home the bacon and the women took care of the home and family, and everyone is happy.

Presently, things have changed. No one wants to marry a liability. They want to marry graduates, working class and even undergrads. Many men want their wives to work in other to supplement his income. And you still want her to be submissive and have no say in how you decide to run the family all the while nodding with approval at your wisdom.

Sorry to burst your bubbles dudes, you can't have it both ways. Look at this scenario : a regular working mum, a good wife. She wakes up say 4 every morning cleans her home, makes breakfast for her family, dress her kids for school, dress herself for work, drives the kids to school, drives to work, picks the kids from school, goes back to work, finishes for the day and comes back home. she makes dinner for the family, clean up for the night, gets the kids to bed and does one or two other things that needs to be done and then wants to turn in for the night by say 11, and her husband who had gone to hangout with his boys straight from his office just came in 5 minutes ago demanding for a freshly hot dinner which the good wife scrambles to prepare. . . after which he wants to sleep with her and wants her to be as freaky as a LovePeddler. . . she's the good wife, so she rushes to wear her fu.c.k me lingerie that always turns him on. After pleasing her beloved husband who's now snoozing, she tries to sleep, but after what seemed like an hour, her alarm bell shrills and she has to turn it off so as not wake beloved husband. Another day begins for her. . .it goes like this, a continuous circle. She's bound to snap sooner than later.

If you want a submissive wife that would rub your foot, run your baths and screw you senseless, then go to the village, pick an illiterate and  provide her every need or better still you can get a robot, I hear the gynoids are becoming quite popular these days.

What you just described happened to an associate's mother. She did all of that and was 40 years old when she died. Get this, she was healthy, fit, no genetic diseases, and every year gets a preventive health check up. She died five months after her last doctor appointment with a clean health bill.

Bottom line: Women can only do so much in 24 hours. You are right on point, MOST MEN wants to have it both ways. I do not condone women killing their husbands or their children but I UNDERSTAND.

[quote author=omoekoni link=topic=681907.msg8457697#msg8457697 date=1307263795

I refuse to believe this because if you are a MAN and you stay home to take care of the kids for two decades while the woman brings in the money, then their is something seriously wrong with you and the woman should have left your backside a long time ago. Just imagine, the man tells the kids no, and the woman says "yes", surely the MAN'S opinion will be ignored making him feel like a bloody wimp(which he is)[/quote]Refer to the red bold.

There are men who are disabled, lacks of working experience, and doesn't meet specific qualifications to obtain employment. There are men around the world including Nigeria who depends on the woman to bring home the bacon for the time being until they are able to obtain a job. Those men shouldn't be complaining about women staying home when the men can't even obtain jobs themselves. The woman is forced to work outside the home but the issue still remains SOME men do not work and still expect the woman to perform duties he expects of her.

Richvkunt:
]

This man is in shackles.
[b]He needs to sew a skirt.
See what happens when a guy is kitten whipped.
Brother you are in serious bondage.

The person you quoted is a woman.

In this case, I feel sorry for all the men who know how to sew a skirt. Damn you.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Hard to find any ideal person anywhere but this is about Nigerian men and ideal doesn't work always with reality. . .[/color]

Can you please tell me what is an ideal Nigerian man? I didn't know Nigerian men has a special classification. I think I missed the memo that went around.

Phate07:
[color=#800000]
I received a divorce letter from your lawyer, so i married again.
[/color]

Where is my last payment installment? I am not playing with you Negro! Do I need to show you the business contract again?

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=681708.msg8451607#msg8451607 date=1307164162]Put God first

I found mine online

Actually - I wasn't looking AT ALL - he found me online

He is genuine, the real deal

Treats me like gold - I love him so,

You can do it ---- but don't

Let God do it.   I wasn't in the market to actively date ----

There is someone out there looking for someone like you.

God knows every person on the planet he sees your life partner - so quit wasting time and ask God to point him in your direction and you in his direction - once you do that - it because effortless and a fantastic experience.[/quote]

livedit:
Great post kokoye!   

Livedit met her now husband online nearly 2yrs. ago! We met in person and hit it off great. I was blessed and believe me, I prayed diligently everyday about him as he did with me.   Because  I've encountered more than my fair share of "fakes", "crazies" and "losers".  It takes time to find the right mate.  That goes for online and offline.  People are not limited to be taking advantage of or "tricked" just online.  Anybody can play a role.  You can find "garbage" anywhere.   You just have to be careful and definitely be prayed up.  There are alot of "creepies" in this world, so you have to pray to God for the guidance, patience and wisdom when seeking a life long partner.  Also, you don't have to just limit yourself to online dating.  You never know where "the one" can be.  Only God knows.  That is why you strongly need a relationship with Him.  People can fool you most of the time, but you can't fool God.  I believe, God does things His own way. And believe me, it's ALWAYS the best way.

Good luck.  

kokoye:
The issue is that most nigerian men you meet online will not take you seriously. most of them are online for fun so dont be carried away.

having said that, i know of a few naija guys who met their wives on nigeria.com and icq several yrs ago and theyre still happily married.  

Most of the happily married ones did not go online just to find a date - they went their to relax and have fun. In the process, they got close to someone.

Of course you have to still meet the person physically and decide if you want to continue anything. since the general idea is that there must be something wrong with you if you are online to find a mate.

So it aint always a good thing to go online searching for a mate - you will get hussled.

Thank you for your honesty.  I see the radiation in the water got to you finally.  

If a man or a woman creates an online profile of any SOCIAL network whether it is a dating site or a social site you are putting yourself out there to be screen by potential partners therefore you are looking for a mate.  As I have stated before there is nothing wrong with looking for someone online or putting yourself online to be "found" but accept all the negative proclivities that comes with it as well some of the positive proclivities.  Some are lucky and some aren't so lucky.  Good luck to those who are in luck.

Phate07:
[color=#800000]
No thanks! Am married.
[/color]

You cheating on me?!!!!!!!! Damn you!

Everyone has a soul mate but unfortunately some will never meet their soul mates because of death, distance, lack of faith, and stigmatization's.

Karma is real and what goes around comes around. We all were predestined before we were born. The definition of plan means an outline of tasks before action, thoughts, and speech.

[size=44pt]Fainted.[/size]

It is easy for people who doesn't know what the word what the Love means and do not have the feeling of love to say I LOVE YOU. It is hard to genuinely to tell someone you love them and give your heart to them because of all risks involved.

I tell the woman all the time, you will know if a man really loves you based on his ACTIONS ALONE.

If he is saying he loves you verbally and his actions telling you to just die biatch then he does not love you. First, understand what real "love" means before knowing if your man loves you are not vice versa.

Material gift sharing is not an act of love. Enemies gives their foes gifts all the time.

ogugua88:
Granted, men and women have roles. However, every man and woman differs, and every relationship a man has with a woman can and will differ from the relationship of another man and woman. Some men prefer to stay at home and watch children while the woman works. I've seen this plenty of times in my neighborhood alone. His role is to be a caretaker, whilst hers is to be a breadwinner. It's been working for them as they have been married for nearly two decades and have healthy children. Some women stay home while he works. Some women and men both work, caring for their children when they can. Some of these couples are successful; some are not. OP, apparently you prefer submissive women. Find yourself a submissive wife and submissive mistresses. To say anything is fact according to Bible and should be applied to all is silly considering that every human being differs and has his or her own set of values and beliefs. To each his or her own. Osondi owendi. Very simple.

(clicks Facebook's I like button)

Don't start nothing you can't finish.

[quote author=Ms. Potato link=topic=683213.msg8457335#msg8457335 date=1307256443]Sis, I might not be black and I might not know anything about blacks compare to most of you but at least I know that this world is just not fair to be pint pointing all the bad things about blacks since the rest are also at fault. At least I know that and at least I want to stand up and make a change.I just feel like telling everyone that if they have this kinda mentality in their head, than dont listen to the Jackson 5, Dont listen to Michael Jackson, dont listen to Seal, dont see any Tyra Banks or Naomi Campbell shows, dont listen to Seal or Sade or AKON or Rihanna or dont even watch Tiger Woods or Lamar Odoms or 50Cent cause hey! They are all black anyways!!! They should just stick to their own kind. Isnt it?  Now Im fuc.k1ng angry 


And what pisses me off is some people tend to be bashing the black people but at one corner, they are singing rap and dancing B Boy dance and street dancing I mean, hey! Isnt that from the blacks?  That pisses me off!  [/quote]Again, I mean no offense to what I said it is a black thing you know nothing about.  There is a lot of things in the world that is not fair and we can only control the fairness within ourselves.  No matter how hard you stand for fairness, the world will continues to stigmatize black people. 

Black people are the only group of people who would PUBLICLY and PRIVATELY destroy each other to prove a point and gain recognition for being the "token nigga".

Well the last part is a whole different story and it falls under the category of HYPOCRISY.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=683213.msg8457283#msg8457283 date=1307254675]@Mrs.Chima
I don't think bashing of women is what leads to racial profiling. Are telling me Rodney King was beat because he beat his wife/GF? The world at large took advantage of our relative undevelopment to exploit the African continent. Your presence in the US is a testament to this not because your ancestors beat their women. The reason why the stigmatization continues has more to do with our continued underdevelopment, corruption in high places, bad leadership, docile followership etc. Bashing women is not a big cause of it.[/quote](crossing legs and putting glasses on the tip of my nose)

Exploitation and stigmatization are two separate actions. Stigmatization focuses on the images or perceptions people have on particular groups of people in this case Nigerian men according to Ms. Potato. Exploitation as you described above about bad leadership and taking advantages of underdeveloped countries.

Again my reference is if you do not want people to bash or stigmatize you collectively then your actions (not saying you per se) need to be reversible to what is being claimed. For example, if someone say that black men cheats and beats their women. THEN A BLACK MAN creates a thread or professes offline saying they believes cheating and beating women is normal and should be legal. (looking at the screen with a blank stare)

People can only stigmatize what is being said and shown. Exploitation is about people taking advantage of those who are not aware or able to "defend" themselves equally.

LMAO!

I don't know what happened when I wrote that. I didn't realize that until after I read it and was like am I giving him a pap smear or what?!!

El Guapo:
Lol. . .u damn Bad Woman, So u gon by-check my Unmentionables?? U're in for a trauma my Baby

Richvkunt:
^^^
I see you refuse to see the light.

I am sorry I do not agree with modern day nor past day sexism bullshit.  If that is the light, I am more than joyous to NOT SEE THAT LIGHT.   

I am not into bondage as well.

Richvkunt:
For those brothers and sisters that have seen the light we thank goodness.
The modern woman has kept man in shackles because men have failed to take their proper role in life.
That is the cause of the high rate of failed marriages in society today.

I know men who are married or in serious relationships today can relate to what am talking about.
I am not talking about the virgin male poster on NL trying to hook up with females,
Such brothers are in the dark,they have been blinded by these females.
In fact such brothers have almost become females.
They think like females.
Infact such brothers need to sew skirts and put them on,cos they are cheer leaders.
Who the cap fits,

Some of the women here amuse me,it is not war of the sex.es,it is nature and your God given role.
You need to submit to your man,if you don't want him to stray.Worship him and adore him because he is your KING and then he MIGHT consider making you his queen.

With some of the posts from females I am reading here its no surprise most of you have NO man and are not into ANY relationships because you refuse to see men for what they are.
It is no surprise that most women are losing their men to HOUSEHELPS and HOUSE MAIDS  because they refuse to know their roles in life.
What are the house helps doing better ask yourself.
90% of married men today have extra marital affairs.WHY? Because women have refused to play their natural God given role.

Females stop spending 100% of your time on NL posting BS.
Go out and get a man.
Treat him like a king and be submissive to him.
Cook,wash,and warm his bed.
Put more effort into it.
Then you might just stop him from straying,

I see you are still SKIRTING AROUND the obvious.  Keep make believing if it suits you.  Do not only read the bible UNDERSTAND IT.  The only person that should treat you like a king is the one you are married to and return treat her like a queen. If the woman you are married to do not mind being an area rug then WE shouldn't have a problem with it, at least not me.

Adding what you have stated:

Males stop spending 100% of your time on NL posting BULLSHIT.
Go out and ACTUALLY GET A WOMAN,
Treat HER like a QUEEN and be submissive to HER.
Cook,wash, take care of your children iillegitimate or not and KEEP A JOB.
Put more effort into it.
Then you might just stop HER from CALLING YOU A WORTHLESS NIGGA. 

Patience.

kandiikane:
A woman's role
A man's role

That's about sum it up but sadly people pick and choose what scriptures befits them. My thing is if you (general speaking) are going to quote scriptures, quote what in it and not what you think should be in it.

kandiikane:
^^^LMAOOOOOO, is this a joke?Say whatever you like but without us you are nothing. . .

Apparently it is a joke.  They wouldn't last a day without the meat.

Speaking of "playboy", you can't tell who are the worst hoes, male or female.

[quote author=Ms. Potato link=topic=683213.msg8457021#msg8457021 date=1307246570]Chima, I need your real opinion. Do you at least think that what I have said is true on what other people doing on this earth is also wrong? not just the blacks but its like the feeling they give everyone is like the blacks are the most evil people on earth which I personally think and feel its not fair and not true? Do you agree with that statement?  [/quote]Of course, Blacks aren't the only ones doing wrongdoings.  My comments I made were referring to what you said about why there are cursing on Nigerian men.  I am simply saying that we can't expect the world not to "curse" Nigerian men when they are demonstrating similar behavior toward Nigerian women. 

Let me reiterate this again, NO BLACKS aren't the only ones committing crimes and harmful acts.  Whites, Asians, Hispanics, and Arabs too are guilty. 

That's why I stated stigmatization it doesn't matter how many blacks have shown excellency and goodwill they will never be recognized at the level as they should.  I am not speaking just Nigerians, I am speaking ALL BLACK BEINGS. 

That's why I said it is a black thing you know nothing about.  No offense.

[quote author=Ms. Potato link=topic=683213.msg8457000#msg8457000 date=1307246181]I want to contact Oprah Winfrey and ell her what is going on. Perhaps she could help. Im just not satisfied![/quote]No one change the world for it already been etched in stone but we have to keep it real of what is REALLY GOING ON. That's all I am saying. We shouldn't pick and choose what we feel is right and wrong. If we are going to scold one wrongdoing, we need to scold all wrongdoings.

Maybe Oprah will give you some pointers though. Good luck.