₦airaland Forum

Princek12:
I am glad you know that. You are not woman enough to answer a simple question, but you have the audacity to say some people are romantically slow.

I smell romantic retardation in "collectively" pumping gas at the pump.

You are not smart enough to know sarcasm if it hit you dead in the face.  Secondly, I answered your question and you didn't like the answer.  

Be man enough to accept it.   Simple.

2buff:
It takes a mature lady who thinks on a much better plane to get it like u have.
What I wrote there is an accommodation to those females who think females should be free to do whatever and not woman up their role (cuz we know they are much more than your precious rare kind). With their freedom must come their choice to CHOOSE to take up their rightful roles when they see where the family is going. Many have done so midway.

If THEY never chose it, it will simply feel like slavery. And a slave, when free (eg we don land Yankee), will despise whomever they perceived as their slave driver.

Last time I have checked humans aren't for sale legally in the West.  Unless the "freedom" women aren't breaking any laws then they have the right to do whatever they want to within the boundaries of the law.  

Who really "dictates" rightful roles?  Most certainly not you.

Princek12:
so you "collectively' go to the fuel pump, collectively hold the nozzle, and collectively pump the fuel.

You collectively open the door for each other.

Awwwww!!! That is so romantic!.

Thanks.    Some people are romantically r3tarded unfortunately.

Princek12:
The gold digger situation is where a woman dates a man solely for the purpose of deriving a monetary or other benefit. We are not talking about that here. Here, we are talking about a man providing for his wife and family, which markedly differs from a gold digging arrangement. Presumably the wife loves her husband and vice versa, and whatever money you spend on her should not be a reason for calling her a gold digger.

Read slowly.

The men that I have heard OUTSIDE OF NAIRALAND in all RACES have complained their WIVES are too dependent on them and they need to contribute to the relationship financially.

Loving a wife or a husband doesn't have a damn thing to do with paying bills. If that was the case, many people would be at the bank cashing their loves to pay their house and car notes. If both parties need to work to sustain the household then IT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM.

Pride is one of the seven deadliest sins. Don't let it consume you.

Outstrip:
nene1 is arguing with herself. You are saying what everybody said and yet you claim that they are too westernized. SMH. read your posts again

Exactly! You were all up in my mind! Get out girl!

nene1:
She's dodging the question as she knew she didn't have a point. Even western women who claim to be so independent, still expect a man to do things like open the door and pull out her chair. If we all can do the same things, why don't they start opening doors and pulling out chairs.

I have a [size=22pt]LIFE[/size] outside of Nairaland and sometimes my responses may not be as swift as the chat zombies. Some of us (women) are blessed to be able to work outside of the home and not watch Nollywood movies all day waiting on Big Papa.

It doesn't take much to clean a house, cook a meal, and send the children to school. What are YOU DOING when all of that is done in 3 hours? If it takes all day to clean a house, you are nasty. If it takes all day to cook, hire a cook.

The "West" isn't responsible for YOUR unhappiness and lack thereof. If being a lapdog waiting by the doggy door makes you happy, THEN WHY ARE YOU MAD?

sexkillz:
[color=#000030]She doesnt need him to take care of her, and she wants to contribute to the household! Those 2 statements are conflicting! So if i should go with the first one, the man should forget about paying her bills completely? Can she effectively run the household, without the man? I dont know what's with most women and this independence nonsense! It's like they've completely lost the meaning of that word, and thinks it means Men should put up with all manner of bullshit!. . . Utter Nonsense!

What of all those years when she was still in school and not "independent?" Did her husband not take care of her? Did she complain? Are the kids complaining? Is the husband complaining that the load is too much for him to bear?
The woman is wrong! Pomp and plain![/color]

So the woman is wrong because she wants to contribute to the household and not be a housewife even if her husband supported her while she was in school? Gotcha.

(looking like Ice Cube on the movie Friday when he saw a fat woman getting out of the car)

Pennywise:
2buff is a bad example

Give me some examples of "Nigerian man at heart" since 2buff is a bad example.

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=845741.msg10008617#msg10008617 date=1327072588]well Mrs Chima. I heard u gots serious heavy Nyansh. I aint givin up! [/quote]I hope you like my picture.

Pennywise:
He will be better off coming here to live out what is left of his life. He is Nigerian at heart

Other African men doesn't share the same sentiments?

2buff is a Nigerian and he doesn't want a woman to need him but wants to be with him because of who he is and not what he can offer her.

There are countless of threads about prenups. Nairaland's search engine is accessible.

Pennywise:
I am surprised u have men like that in America! Are u sure he is not a Nigerian?

No. He is an old white man with a bad speech impediment.  There are thousands of Traditional American men in America that have the cave man thinking that most men of the East have. 

Yield:
Because she has a good job and is making her money, she's "too independent?" It's not like she's working for herself, she's taking care of their family. Seems like he's just very insecure and threatened by her "independence."

In many cases, money equate independence in most relationships and often time traditional men prefers their women to stay at home and take care of the children while Modern men will not feel threatened their wives are earning higher salaries than them because they know they will benefit from it.  It also depends on the type of woman she is in the long run because money itself isn't the issue it is the association with money that is the issue.  

Some men have insecurities about their women making money and out there with the big dogs while they are at home or with the little dogs.  

Women in the West are taking control of  many corporate positions and earning high salaries depending on the company because some companies are sexist when it come to women employees however many women are in the workforce and juggling many role strains.  

You have some women that are doctors, mothers, and wives for many years mainly because they have husbands that aren't insecure nor concern with societal expectation of men.  

It is a double standard that exist even today when it shouldn't be an issue.  If you have a decent woman that isn't caught up with I have money and I will run you then you need to assess your future however money itself should destroy a relationship.  

A woman can still be a wife, mother, and bring home the money.  Many women with or without husbands have done it for CENTURIES.  This is nothing new folks.

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=850313.msg10008666#msg10008666 date=1327073052]A woman tells me that and she gets back hand slap. Period! [/quote]A woman telling you she doesn't need you should be a blessing TO YOU seeing you don't have two kobos to rub together and punny.

sexkillz:
[color=#000030]I dont support the man's actions on divorce, 100% but only a very ungrateful woman would make the comment i emboldened! So because you can make your own money "now", you dont need your husband? WTF!

That is very offensive! I mean, she should have looked for other words rather than "I dont need you anymore?" Seriously? [/color]

How is she ungrateful?  She didn't want to divorce her husband and she stated that she didn't need him to take care of her because she can now contribute to the household.  It would be different if she said I don't need you to take care of me and I want a divorce now.  

Which one is worse?  

Does it make you feel unappreciated if your wife tells you I don't need you to take care of me?  Do you think it is cultural for you or it is a man's thing?

2buff:
The context in the Thread's question is very different from the Op's context according to the story.
In the OP's story, the man is just dumb plain and simple. Dumb hates smart cuz dumb can't "control" smart.

As to the context of the thread's question: GOOD!!! She should be with me because she WANTS to, and not because she NEEDS to. This is great because she doesn't have to hang around leeching my money etc if she's really not that into me.

I can understand your point on wants versus needs. I agree the man is dumb because the woman never said she wanted to leave him. She said she wanted to help out in the household because she feel they can achieve better things with two incomes versus one income.

Economy is rough everywhere and women are forced to join the workforce to help their husbands/boyfriends. I can understand how the husband want her to remain at home because of the children but if they are struggling financially and the woman is able to help out, I don't see the issue.

I agree that a woman or man should want to be with someone not depend on them for survival realizing that not everyone depend on the MOST HIGH so they have to depend on humans to make it through unfortunately.

If I was a woman that isn't American, I would find it offensive that he thinks non-American women are docile, dependent, and uneducated. I have met several non-American women who were more vocal about independent than American women.

My question is this, did he married her because he loves her or because he thought he could mold her into a stepford wife?

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=845741.msg10008557#msg10008557 date=1327072059]**is Mrs Chima still tryin to look white? ***[/quote]Will that run you away? (praying really hard the answer is yes)

Hmm.

What gets me is when many of them (men) complain that women depends on them TOO MUCH like gold diggers THEN say that women need to support themselves as well.

The roles listed above is exactly what a dependent woman with no power or hidden agendas will do.

MsDarkSkin:
lol @ chima.

like i said, let me find out you W.I. and ain't tell nobody!

Hey sis! Nice pictures and videos. They are a beauty indeed!

Why is this Trini man driver keep licking his lips? He has to do all that to deliver packages.

It is not so much what he said is true to his perspective but for some reasons SOME white girls think that ALL Black women are actually obsessed with why the lumpy dumps of Black men are with them.

Maybe they won't listen to Black women that tell them, do you but why are you worrying about WHAT WE THINK, if it doesn't matter to you and a Black man saying the same thing many Black women have and are saying to this day. 

What I find sad is that when two Black couples are walking together in the West it is a sight to behold even many Blacks from the East experience the "Oh my goodness" hype as well. 

People have this media driven notion that many Blacks in the West aren't together and that many Black women are sitting at home slicing their wrists in agony and pain.  Many of the Modern Black women in the West are slower to get married, but they are graduating from universities, obtaining executive positions, and owning properties many Black men can't even achieve WORLDWIDE! 

Just like many white couples are getting married by the rate, they are also getting divorced by the minute and many of them are divorced more than two or three times.  I think some people with logic would rather be single then divorced multiple times.   

When it all boils down to individual's choice.  Some Black men have reasons why they go to this person and that person the same for the White men. 

They are all the same, little Joysticks with bootyhole full of poo.   

La Viva raza Haiti!

Princek12:
You are importing facts and assuming facts into the question so as to come to a suitable answer for you. You essentially made up your questions.

Let me repeat.


I did not ask you about who buys or pays for the gas. I asked you who[b] pumps[/b] the gas? Does your hubby sit in the car while you pump the gas?

I did not ask you whether someone has his or her hands full and that the other person opens the door. If neither you or your hubby has anything on his hands, as you approach the door, do you open the door for your hubby so that he can walk through, or does your hubby open the door for you so that you can walk through the door?

Do you open the car doors for your hubby when you approach the car, or does your hubby (even if it is on occasion) open your car doors for you?

The answer is still the same. Pay attention to the keyword: collectively.

deniyor:
It might have to do with your looks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 gorgeous 1 - hideous) how ugly are you?

What would a visit to Chris will change? Will it change the fact she feels she doesn't need you?

Princek12:
Answer these simple questions: (1) If you and your hubby were driving and you drove into a gas station to buy gasoline/petrol. Who pumps the gas? You or your hubby?

(2) If you are going into a building that has a door, who opens the door? You or your hubby?

1. Who buys the gas? It comes out the family budget that we both have established collectively. I mean WTF. Why the hell I even answered this question?

2. Oga Chima, but it has nothing to do with a man's role. It is a courtesy thing to do when a person has a hand full or unable to open the door.

If I see a disabled man trying to open the door with his foot, I am not going to sit back and say that's a man's role to open the door for me. Give me something tangible and sensible.

Guys, do you find it offensive when your woman tell you she doesn't need you? How about if she tell you that she doesn't need you to take care of her anymore? Would you jump for joy or cry?

There is a show in America, Divorce Court that features married couples seeking divorce and going through a divorce mediation via television. An American male wanted to divorce his wife after three and half years because he said his Russian immigrant wife is "too independent". The wife said she worked hard to obtain her nursing degree and wants to contribute to the household by working. The husband said his wife should be at home tending to the children and house and let him be the man of the house.

The wife responded saying her husband shouldn't have let her waste time in school and didn't go to school just to be a housewife. The husband said the main reason he chose a wife outside of America is because women are too independent and smart. The woman said she doesn't need her husband to take care of her and that she can make her own money now.

Divorce Court has a facebook account where many fans respond to cases daily. According to the men on Facebook, the woman took advantage of the man and when she got what she needed she wanted to leave. The woman didn't file for divorce, the husband did. His reasons were the wife is too educated and independent.

Would you divorce your wife because she tells you she doesn't need you?
Would you break up with your girlfriend because she tells you she doesn't need you?

Princek12:
I see you have disagreed with my assertion that washing, cleaning, and taking care of children is not a woman's primary responsibility, but you have not disagreed with my assertion that doing the yard work, cleaning the car, etc , is a mans primary responsibility.

So in your household who does the cooking, cleaning, etc? Your husband?

Who said that is all I disagreed on?  I didn't know I was supposed to list all my disagreements at once.  I listed some disagreements to start off the conversation, TRUST ME I AM NOT DONE.  

I have no issue with cutting the grass and changing the light bulb.  I am not r3tarded nor invaild.  

Princek12:
Why do you want to fight? What is wrong?

Because I disagree with some of the examples you provided and I know the vocal men will object to my disagreement.  

Washing, cleaning, and care for children isn't a woman's role.  It is a role to though who are able to move their legs.  Each household has it own's roles and responsibilities and many people have maids, drivers, nannies, and nurses in their homes so the woman of the house may not be doing any of those roles which goes back to the fact that each household has different roles and responsibilities that is suitable for that household.  

A man is a representative of the household but he isn't legally responsible for the parties in the house.  What are the roles of the man that is disabled and invalid?  If we are going to paint a set roles and responsibilities of men and women, it has to make sense and not sexist.  

A woman's responsibility isn't to provide sex to her husband, but being flexible with pleasing her husband and she is an equal mate, not a slave concubine.

Where are the men with sense at? I am ready to fight!

sauer:
[b]being a married woman is CERTAINLY NOT the best thing that can ever happen to woman (sic). While I have no disrespect for them, I truly pity women who think like this[/b]  

Thank you.    But many women will sell their parents just to be married unfortunately.

MsDarkSkin:
No hating! sak pase?!

Hmm.

Sis, why this chick got her phone in her spanx? Just like a black person!

BelaMorena:
from the annual west indian day parade in brooklyn, ny:

https://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/7/2010/09/west_indian_day_parade.jpg

https://farm7.staticflickr.com/6197/6118762904_a6c47d03b4_z.jpg

I can see the similarities between the Nigerian carnival and ours but i wonder if there is a direct connection.
I've never heard of it but i have heard of the connection between our Jon Kunu and Nigerian folklore/dance.

MsDarkSkin:
LORD!!

Don't hate Cousin Jamaica

To all that said Haiti--------Ayiti renmen ou tou!