₦airaland Forum

@those that appreciate the piece, thanks ya all



@the trolls hating, repent nw before its too late.

where is the joke

which kain burkina faso joke be dis. foolish joke! silly poster!!

^^^bloody racist

^^^u no get eyes abi u no sabi see?

^^^^ lmfao

^^^^ the examiner will then complete it for u by giving u a F.



frog

lazy bone, hw u dey manage pass for sch sef

AKPAN bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book.
The message reads: My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note!

In a conversation
AKPAN : I am proud because my son is in Medical College
Friend: Really? What is he studying?
AKPAN: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.

Akpan visits his Doctor :
AKPAN: Doctor, in my dreams I play football every night.
DOCTOR: Take these drugs and you will be okay.
AKPAN: Can I take it tomorrow? Tonight is the final game.

Akpan and his wife :
AKPAN: If tomorrow I die, will you remarry?
Wife: No! I will stay with my sister but if I die will you remarry?
AKPAN: No, I will also stay with your sister.

AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.

AKPAN comes back to his car and finds a note saying “parking fine” He writes a note and sticks it to a
pole “Thanks for the compliment”

How do you recognise Akpan in school?
He is the one who erases the notes from his book when the teacher cleans the board.

Once AKPAN was walking, he had a glove in one hand and none on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so.
He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot

AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?

In a classroom:
Teacher: “I killed a person. Convert this sentence into future tense”
AKPAN: The future tense is “You will go to jail”

AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”

^^^ projan ko, trojan ni.

A pastor was seen packing all his
belongings and trying to leave
Kano for Lagos.
.
.
.
He was accosted by one of his
church members who asked him,
"Pastor hope you are not leaving
us here because of the Boko
Haram killers, remember the Bible
says 'No weapon fashioned
against us shall prosper'."
.
.
.
The pastor replied, "No oh my
brother, the Bible says 'Go into the
world and preach the gospel and
not only in Kano, that is why I'm
taking the good news to the
people in Lagos, ".
Hpy sunday.

A pastor and a church sister were
having sex under a tree, not
knowing, a smoker was up on the
tree hiding & smoking. After the
act, the sister asked the pastor,
did u use
condom?
Pastor: No!!!! Why?
Girl: Supposing i get pregnant
who will take care of the baby?
The pastor replied, "let's leave it to
the one above", suddenly the
smoker jumped down and
shouted, U DEY CRAZE? LEAVE
WETIN FOR WHO?
NA ME F**K AM?

bunch of foolish cabals, we go soon comot subsidy for jokes so make una still cum dey post una useles dry jokes

^^^^ bloody orangotan. rgds to the agama above you.

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct
the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form
what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets
before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor!
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers.
(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

thanks dudes

Akpors' father accompanied him
to his school end of the year
award party.
As they sat watching and amidst
great shouts and loud ovations,
the beneficiaries were called to
the podium for their award
presentation.
The following conversation
ensued:
Announcer: Best student in
sciences, the winner is Inem.
Father: (Applause and eyes Akpors
scornfully) see correct children!
Announcer: Best student in
commercial studies, the winner is
Ajoke.
Father: (Hisses and eyes Akpors)
see correct children.
Announcer: Best student in Arts
and the winner is Helen.
Father: (fuming with anger) See
correct children!!.
And so, all the awards were
presented without any going to
Akpors.
At the end of the event, they left
and went to the car park but as
his dad made to start the car, the
engine refused to respond.
He opened the bonnet and
touched a few things but all to no
avail.
Then they resorted to pushing
and just as they got to the exit of
the school the rickety car parked
up.
Exhausted and profusely
sweating, Akpors rested on the
gate just as his mates were
driving off with their parents in
Hummer jeep, Sequia, Infinity,
Escalade, Bentley, Lincoln Nav and
other exotic cars.
All of a sudden, Akpors burst into
laughter.
His puzzled father asked,'what's
so funny?'
Amidst teary eyes Akpors
responded 'SEE CORRECT
FATHERS!'.

Three pastors met and agreed to
sincerely tell each other their
problems which must be kept
away from other people.
The 1st pastor said my problem is
money, I do steal even from the
church offering please brethren
pray for me.
The 2nd pastor said my problem
is women, whenever i see any
woman my desire will be to go to
bed with her, Infact I've slept with
most of my female church
members. please pray for me.
Turning to the 3rd pastor to hear
his problem he started laughing, it
took his friends some effort to
calm him, after that he was asked
to continue and he said still laughing
that my problem is gossiping
when we leave this place
everybody will hear what you two
just told me. please pray for me.:.

^^^^ idiota, na mumu like u dey see mumu girl carry na

@ mikuz, u got me cracking, that ur dictionary na upcoming edition o, e never dey market

^^^ donkey zamfara

^^^^ . classic

conclusion: no joke present.







*hits him hard in his ntomku with my gwaragwara stick*

^^^^hahahahaha! go ask mr bones

i don clear all the bush sef still no joke, where is the joke

^^^ who dash dis agbero internet sef.









* hits him in his ntomku with my gwaragwara stick*

^^^^ God bless that day wey u go quit to dey feed our eyes with this pepper spray/ poison wey u dey call joke







*hits him in his nmtonku with my gwaragwara stick*

DONkollione:
Check inside ur BUSHY ANUS!





Calabar boy!

i stil cant find it, where's the joke na?

booqee:
eerrr. . .mustspin u might need to re-explain dis yoke joke. I don't even understand it

if u know fernando torres and the shit he is in right now, maybe u might understand the joke